DISCLAIMER: Don't own RE or Queer Eye.

A/N: CassSpaz and I apologize for taking so long with this installment. We've been busy. But you can give us incentive to write with many more of those lovely reviews!!

And so the mighty Wesker feared by so many in the Umbrella organization and sworn enemy of Chris Redfield is marched down the street by four blatant homosexuals. As was stated before, his will to live is quickly fading. The party of five, stop before a rather elegant and expensive looking hair salon.

"You don't want to do this." Wesker said, trying to work up as much menace as is humanly possible.

"Now Albie." Steve crooned, twirling a piece of Wesker's hair between his fingers. "We're professionals, you can trust us."

Wesker shuddered in pure fear. Steve took that to mean he was excited.

"Alright, girls!" chirped Morpheus. "Let's do a streaking party!"

Alfred giggled. "What a clever double meaning!" he cooed. "But before we have some fun, we have to clean up Wesker's style!"

"Like, theriously." Steve said. "This is gonna be tho funny!"

"Why are you talking with a lisp?"

"'Cause, lithps are thuper!"

Wesker groaned as the four "ladies" escorted him into the saloon, Steve was still twiddling with his hair. He almost passed out when Carlos came skipping down the stairs in tight black leather pants, and a magenta suede vest.

"Oh Morphie!!" Carlos screeched throwing his arms around Morpheus.

"Dahling." Morpheus crooned, kissing Carlos cheek.

"Oh…my…GOD!!"

Everyone turned to stare at Wesker as he melted into a puddle.

"Oh dear! My poor little Albie!!" Steve quickly retrieved a mop.

"Carlos, love, we need your help." Billy said, gesturing to the puddle.

"No problems my little Sparrows. Carlos is here!"

Wesker awoke 20 minutes later, tied to a chair a surrounded by puffs.

"Oh…no it wasn't a dream."

"Poor little Albie." Steve moaned, petting Wesker. Let's just repeat that to make sure you heard right. Petting, Wesker. At this point Wesker almost broke down crying.

"Now, let's see." Carlos circled Wesker, looking at him this way and that. "Should we do total color change, or just highlights?"

"OH! Red!" Alfred cried, jumping up and down. "Yes, red highlights with a beautiful shade of auburn coloring."

"Oh yes, and a small trim." Billy interjected. "That whole slicked back look just doesn't fit well."

"Alright then." Carlos grabbed a pair of scissors and a bottle of dye.

"Some one kill me." But no one was listening to Wesker.

30 minutes later…

Wesker stared at his reflection and couldn't decide weather to break into tears, or wreak justifiable mayhem on the persons responsible. His once blonde hair was now a deep shade of Auburn with long streaks of blood red highlights. Instead of slicked back the hair had been trimmed short, to above his ears, and styled into that wind blown look that was so poplar now a days.

"Oh Albie." Steve brushed one manicured finger through his hair. "You look good enough to eat!"

"Yes indeed a big improvement." Morpheus agreed nodding his head.

"Now, on to the clothing department!" Alfred yelled, dragging Wesker out of the chair. Steve skipped along behind, admiring Wesker's rather shapely bottom. Billy swished along with Morpheus, as Carlos waved from the doorway of the saloon.