Chapter 3

Angel led Buffy to the small restaurant. They picked a table outside on the patio and Angel ordered the most expensive wine. The young waiter took the order smiling slightly towards Buffy, Angel watched as Buffy blushed, and jealously filled him. God, how much he had missed her.

A violin played softly behind them and a warm breeze slipped through the air. Angel stared at Buffy, it hadn't been that long since he had last seen her, but she had matured so much. Her eyes gave off a look of loneliness and despair and his soul ached for hers.

The server came, handing their drinks and waiting for them to order, neither
Buffy nor Angel spoke. The waiter took the hint, leaving the two to be alone.

"Tomorrow I fight." Angel said breaking the awkward silence.

Buffy blinked and swallowed hard, averting his intense looks, clearing her throat, she shifted uncomfortably in the chair and looked up.

"All you have to do is say the word and I'll be there."

Angel shook his head and moved his chair in closer, his leg brushing against
hers.

"No, you can't. I need you to be a front for me now; I need you to be safe." He said and glanced over her shoulder to the nearby dock.

"Join me." He said standing up and reaching for her hand. She accepted his
hand and he picked up their wine glasses and pulled her off the patio, down to the dock. Laying his jacket down, he slipped off his shoes and socks and placed his feet in the water.

Buffy gave him a weird glance and smiled a little, pulling off her sandals, she joined him at the end of the dock.

The light of the moon brightened the sky and millions of stars appeared, Buffy sighed and leaned in, laying her head on his shoulder.

"You look tired." She said glancing up at him, he looked down and brushed a hair from her eyes and cleared his throat.

"A lot has happened." He whispered and leaned into her, resting his forehead
against hers.

"Care to tell me?" She mumbled and moved her feet through the water, causing small ripples.

Angel was silent; he just stared at her, mesmerizing her beautiful features.

"I'm sorry about Cordy" Buffy stuttered and looked away from him towards the sky.

A small groan escaped his lips and he tightened his grasp around her hand. "I'm sorry about everything Buffy," He said reaching up and turning her face to him. "There's a lot I need to tell you"

Buffy's eyes filled with fear and Angel's soul cried out for hers.

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

Buffy really didn't know what he was going to say. She was confused on why they were there or how they got there, but that really didn't seem to matter, all that mattered was that they were together and he needed to tell her something and for some reason she was frightened.

"Okay!" She whispered her lips quivering slightly.

A loud sigh escaped Angel's mouth and his eyes wondered to their hands. "Buffy, since taking over Wolfram and Hart I realised something. Something that was long forgotten. I never once meant for it to be lost and I am sorry that I did. I…I broke down after you died, I stopped caring, all I wanted to do was die with you."

Pain shot through Buffy's eyes and Angel leaned in brushing the newly formed
tears out of her eyes.

"Darla came back." He paused and Buffy gave his a strange look," I found out later that, Wolfram and Hart had brought her back. I was pretty depressed then and well, Darla and I…" Angel cleared his throat and averted her mossy stare.

Buffy frowned at Angel, fear, confusion, loneliness, sorrow, flashed through his brown orbs and her heart ached for him. She leaned in lifting her hand to his forehead, tracing her finger down his face.

"You can trust me." She whispered and Angel's eyes filled with tears and a small smile played on his lips.

"Well, Darla and I had a night together and I found out later that Wolfram and Hart were trying to get me to loose my soul, but it never happened, because… it wasn't you. I tried to kill her again and she left, but came back months later, pregnant."

Buffy studied Angel, her eyes planted straight on his; she traced her finger down his arm, making Angel moan softly." I killed her and had a baby boy. An enemy of Angelus stole him from me, taking him to a hell dimension. I broke down, Cordy and I…" Angel paused, looking down at their hands.

"I started to have feelings for her, she had become my best friend and I believed I was in love with her…Connor came back and well…to make a long story short, he came back as a seventeen year old. Cordy and Connor tried to destroy the world, and they failed and she died."

Angel stood up, pulling her up with him, grabbing their stuff; they started to walk down towards the ocean. "Cordy came back a while later, the powers believed she needed to come help me. Cordy showed me things, things I didn't want to see."

Buffy stopped, making Angel glance back at her. "Can we go to the room?" She asked Angel's eyes shot towards hers, and he quirked an eyebrow at her question.

Buffy blushed and turned her gaze to the moon. "I just mean it's more private, more comfortable." Angel gave her a half smile and they headed back to the room.

It had been thirty minutes and Buffy still felt awkward being with him. She never imagined herself feeling so uncomfortable with him. So much had come between them, so many people in their lives. Him not being in her life, betraying her. It was not as if she had been any better. She had lied to him saying she had loved Riley, probably the worst of it was that she had been with Spike, his vampire childe. Did he just say that he loved Cordellia? What had hell had happened to them?

Angel watched the emotions flicker through her eyes and he took a seat beside her. She was still, her hazel glistening from the newly formed tears.

"Buffy?"

Buffy's head shot up and she blinked," Sorry, what did you say?"

"Cordy, she had come back for a day, she had shown me things that's to come, everything that lies ahead, she said I needed to be put back on track." Angel stood and walked over to the curtain opening them up so the moon slipped through.

"I use to care so much, once, too help people. I was out every night, helping the helpless, I enjoyed every minute of it. Sometimes of course it had its
downs but it was my duty, what I loved to do."

Buffy stood and joined Angel at the window; her body positioned behind him, her arms wrapped around his chest, her head leaning against his back.

"When Cordy tried to kill us all, Wolfram and Hart gave me a proposition that I couldn't refuse. They gave Connor a normal life, with no memory of me or anyone else, a fresh new start."

Angel turned reaching for Buffy's hand and pulling her to the couch, placing her on his lap. "Then Spike showed up and with a soul. I wanted to kill him for touching you, for getting a soul and not having to deal with the remorse, the guilt….like I do.", tears formed in Buffy's eyes and she leaned in kissing his lips softly.

"No, Angel please don't think like that!" She whispered.

"Why Not, it's true. He even has a part of you that I can never have." Tears formed in Angel's eyes and he lifted her off of him and stood up.

"Wes, found a prophecy about a souled vampire that will save the world and become human."

Happiness flickered through Buffy's eyes, pain surged through his dark orbs, causing him to close his eyes.

"Spike has a chance of turning human too. He has played on the good side for
a long time now, I haven't."

Angel opened his eyes and kneeled in front of Buffy. "I'm never going to be able to give you what you want, what I want, but Spike can, just forget about me, go be happy."

TBC

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