Don't own Ranma, Alf or Sailor Moon. Its still a one shot, okay, a two shot.

Melmackian Shorts

"Well, Princess China…" "Its Ranma dammit! And I ain't no princess." "Well, 'Ranma', as the senshi of Melmac you have powers that could have saved Melmac from being destroyed, if you hadn't gone 'miss-sing'. Take your scepter and hold it up and say…" "Hey its just a baseball bat made of the same stuff as Kasumi's cooking thingies." "As I was 'saying', hold it up and speak out 'Mighty Melmac Cat Rotisserie!'" "C-c-c-cat! Where?" Alf watched the trail of dust settle as the pigtailed senshi disappeared over the horizon. He slowly covered his eyes in frustration as a sweatdrop formed on his tiny skull. "How am I gonna get a decent meal if the senshi of cat cuisine is afraid of the delicious little buggers?"
A sound of static discharge caused the diminutive alien to whirl about to see a green haired senshi with a mean looking staff stepping through a swirling portal. "You little s.o.b., you've ruined Crystal Tokyo's motif, (Imagine Tupperware Tokyo.) but at least I can protect Luna and Artemis from your depredations, you monster!" "Hey lady, you're stretchin the material" Pluto lifted the little alien by the scruff of the neck and the two vanished into a portal.

The senshi of Pluto teleported out of the zoo's tiger cage wearing a smug grin, "Let him see what its like on the other end of the food chain."

The next morning, visitors were surprised to see a little round fur ball in the tiger exhibit picking its cute fangs with a small piece of sharpened bone. "Ahh, this is the life, I need ta thank that Pluto chick. Hey! Does anyone out there have any Tums?"

Ranma was going down the street wearing an overcoat. 'Where is that little rat! How am I supposed to get out of this outfit. I can't even change with hot water!' Suddenly a little purple blur went by and her trench coat was removed. "Sweeto! Hey Ranma, give an old man a thrill!" Ranma screamed at the pervert glomped onto her chest. She shouted, "Plastic Prison!" and there was a bright flash followed by the realization that her chest was no longer encumbered by the evil martial artist. There in front of her was a large plastic ware container bouncing around and emitting muffled swearing. "I guess Tupperware is really tough to hold that pervert like that." Ranma took her bat and took a bead on the Arctic and gave a chi enhanced whack, sending Happosai off to molest the polar bears. A Happosai shaped silhouette joined the cat marks on the bat. Loud applause caused her to sweatdrop as she noticed a crowd of women surrounding her, cheering.
Akane heard muffled cursing coming from the dojo. "That damned giant sewer rat! I'll kill 'im! #$&(&)." Ranma had finally worked out the detransformation. Akane looked on with pink hearts in her eyes, "Kawaii!" and glomped the cute female version of Alf. "Gurk…get me hot water! Can't. Breathe. Akane!"

The End?

Thanks for the reviews. This won't be a series and there won't be any plot or meaningful dialog beyond these meaningless anecdotal paragraphs. If anyone wants to make a real story out of this, let me know. I can picture an amorous Alf getting Ranma as a fiancee from Genma for a couple bottles of sake. Hu-hu-hu-hu! Any body remember the homunculoids?