Ch12

"Speech"

'Thought'

Self Doubt

beepbeepbeepbeep

'That sound…what's that sound. Am I dead?' "Kudou-kun! Are you awake?" 'That voice…I know that voice. Who is that?' the teen suddenly remembered what had happened and his eyes jolted open. "Haibara, what happened!" he jumped from his bed.

"It worked," she replied calmly.

He looked around, everything seemed to have a tint of white as though someone had stuck a thin sheet of paper before them. He rubbed them and shook his head but the image remained. He rubbed again, and again with no luck.

"Don't worry, that's just some after effect. You have more rods in your eyes than cones. Incase you don't know what that is, rods are the receptors for shading and cones are receptors for colors, Red, Green, and blue to be exact. The freezing we gave you is still wearing off and your optic nerve is still not too responsive. That's why you see what you see, don't know if its black or white but it should clear up in the next hour or so." She explained, jotting down some notes on her clip board.

Kudou stopped his rubbing and turned toward a shape which he believed was talking to him. He could see the basic shape but not much details about its features. "I thought it didn't work, you know with the whole choking bit," he sighed.

"Thanks to you, I got some more very interesting data," she said with a monotone.

"How long was I out for?"

"8h 22min 43sec,"

"That was detailed,"

"I never gotten less than an A+ in my labs,"

"What am I, chopped liver?"

"Don't flatter yourself,"

"Ohh, Shinichi! You're awake, that's a relief," a fimiliar voice came from behind him.

"Is that you professor," he said turning around. The whiteness was slightly better and he could detective some futures like the eyes and nose but still could not see too much details about the.

"I see the after effect is still there," the professor laughed and patted him on the back. "So how are you feeling otherwise?"

"Pretty good, my arms and legs feel a bit numb. That and the thought that I was a lab mouse for that cruel woman don't exactly make things better," he pouted and laid back down.

"Don't worry Kudou-kun, I'm sure it was more painful for you than it was for me," she snickered.

"Why you…" Snarled Kudou.

"I got some things I got to do so I'll be down in the lab, call me if something new happens," spoke Ai then left the room.

"Speaking of which, where am I? I don't remember this place.

"Oh, this is a bio lab that me and Ai-kun made. It's not too big but it stores any medical and emergency equipment that a hospital would have. With the experiments we do, an ambulance would be too slow if anything should happen so we built it," the professor answered with a big smile that stretched all the way across his face form one end to another.

'you made huh…I'd say this was just your old oversized closet that you brought two shelves in and a bed along with some equipments' he thought shaking his head in his mind reluctantly. "That woman, she can say some pretty cold things sometimes," he said looking out the door.

"Come now Shinichi, if it wasn't for her, you would have died right there on the lab floor," the professor consoled.

"Huh?"

"You should have seen her, she practically gone mad trying to get you stabilized. You were choking because the pill went down the wrong tube and you couldn't cough from the GABA pill. After we got it in through the right tube we had to force it into your stomach. She even…"

"She even what…"

"She gave you mouth to mouth until I got the oxygen supply to you,"

"Her?"

"Yea, she was with you the entire time until you awoke."

"Really? That cold hearted cur…" Conan shifted his glance side ways.

"Why don't you get some sleep for today, it's 2am. We'll talk more tomorrow if you want," the professor said and looked down gently at the young man before him.

"Alright, thanks," Shinichi closed his eyes and drifted into his dreams.

His eyes opened, not knowing where he was. Trees grew high into the skies while the moon lit the leaves with its silver light. He could feel the cool night breeze rubbing against this exposed skin. It was a relaxing sensation yet something wasn't settling in the back of his head.

"Shinichi!" a young woman screamed with fear in her eyes, "Shinichi Noo!"

Kudou shot his head up to find Ran calling out to him in desperate hurry as she dashed his way.

"Muahaha, This is it Kudou Shinichi," a low dark voice came from behind as he heard the click of a rising pistol.

"Shinichi!" Ran yelled as tear shot from her eyes

bang

His eyes opened once more, this time at a funeral. He a man, standing before a grave stone with a smile of satisfaction upon his face. He knew the man, yet he could not remember who he was. His heart tightened as he picked up on the small trickling sound of laughter that came from the grin of the dark cloaked man. With some difficulty, he walked over and tapped the man on his shoulders.

The man spun around, showing him a maniac smile that sent an alarm in his head that forced him to take a step backwards. "Excuse me sir…could you tell me what's going on here?" he asked. The man did not say a word and stepped to the side, allowing Kudou to see the name upon the grave stone.

'Mouri Ran' his eyes opened wide with disbelief. As he stuttered backwards, his feet got caught upon the grasp of a dead tree branch. He fell back, hitting a grave stone, making it fall from its place. He rolled over in a hurry to return the rock to its original position but when his extended arm quickly retrieved when he saw the letters, 'Miyano Shiho'

"What's going on!" he demanded to the cloaked man. The man said nothing, but rather took a bottle of some sort and gulped it down.

He raised the bottle to the air and asked, "You want some too?" Kudou narrowed his eyes in disgust and the man continued, "It's good Gin"

Something about the man, the way he acted, the way he talked, even the drink he was drinking, was breaking every nerve in the young detective's mind. Something about him just made him want to lunge out and break him in half, yet he could not remember a thing about him. His eyes opened wide when he saw the man tapping his bottle upon two graves. His eyes filled with sorrow as tear filled them, "Noo…" he whimpered weakly, "Tousan…Kaasan…" he fell to his knees, this time looking all around. His eyes opened wide with terror to find that upon each stone was a name of someone he knew. 'Agasa Hiroshi, Mouri Kogorou, Kisaki Eli, Hattori Heiji…'

"Why…" he whispered, holding his head with his hands. Tears flowed down his nose and dropped to the ground. A sudden sense of fury came over him, "You!" he snarled, looking at the cloaked man. The man continued to smile at the boy mockingly, "You did this didn't you! YOU BASTARD!" he exclaimed, charging at the man with his fist raised to the side of his face.

A burst of laughter came from him and he extended is hand in motion for the detective to stop. "No!" he said firmly, "I didn't do this…You did!"

"What!" Shinichi held himself on the spot. Suddenly, everything disappeared. The dead leaves on the ground, the eerie atmosphere, there was nothing. Just two beams of light that shined upon him and the man in front.

The man disappeared and out came back a boy in his place. He held his bowtie in one hand and the other in his pocked. The young lad glared angrily through his bifocals at the figure that stood in shock before him. "You killed them Shinichi. You kill Ran neechan, and the professor, and Old man Mouri!" he yelled out.

"I didn't, I would never!" Kudou protested trying to prove his innocence.

Conan raised his bowtie to his lips and grinded his teeth slightly. "Shinichi, I believed in you. How could you do such a thing with people's lives? You killed me Shinichi!" out came Ran's voice.

Kudou watched with a stunned look on his face. He wanted to protest once more but he couldn't think of anything to say in his defense.

The boy continued, rotating the knob in the back, "You're stupid ignorance was what got us killed, you stupid brat!" it was Kogorou this time.

"Kudou-kun, this happened because you were too proud at your plots. You weren't 100 about your stupid gamble and you just laughed it off, you're dispecable!" Ai's voice rang through.

"That's not true! I wasn…" he was cut off before he could explain.

"It's you're fault Kudou!" "Yea, you stupid brat!" "I believed in you Shinichi!"

"Kudou!"

"Brat"

"Shinichi!

"Kudou-kun, You killed us!"

"Kudou-kun…KUDOU-KUN, wake up!"

(Count Down Reaches One!)

The teenage detective shot his eyes open to find Ai holding putting the neatly folded clothing of his down beside the bed. "It looked like you were having quite a nightmare, you're soaked with sweat," she said calmly, "Go take a shower and get changed."

"Huh…oh thanks," Kudou said nervously.

Water clashed soundly upon his body as he stood under the shower head. He ducked his head into the stream of water and stroked his hand through them giving his dry scalp a quick rinse. He looked down pensively, staring blank as he watched the water draining through the tiny hole below.

'You did it'

The memories from his dream now overflowed in his mind. "Damn it!" He hissed, narrowing his eyes.

'It's you're fault Kudou!'

"No it's not!"

'You did it!'

"No!"

'You killed us!"

"NO!" he blunted out. His voice bounced off the walls of the silent room. He grasped the flowing water with his hands and pinched his eyelids down. The water that slid down his face hid away his tears while an overwhelming sense of guilt crashed down upon him and a few chokes of sorrow escaped his throat.

'What if that was true. What if I will be the one to kill them all, just because I chose to take this stupid gamble to bring down the B.O. once and for all…' he stepped out of the shower and dried him self. He wiped the fogged up mirror and watched the reflection stare back at him unconfidently.

'What if this fails. What if things don't even turn out the way I'm hoping it will.' A lone figure walked in silence down the hall way that lead to the kitchen. He could hear the clashing of utensils the same as the day before, but this time he did not smile. He didn't even bother to fake a smile as he showed his face from the corner.

"Good morning Shinichi," the professor said giving him a happy smile.

"Morning," he groaned glazing pensively to the floor.

Flash Back

"Hey Conan-kun," Ran called out.

"huh, what is it," Conan shot a weak smile. 'Damn, This name is so hard to get use to…' he thought.

"Do you have a girl you like?" she asked, smiling softly, "You know, don't you have a person you like in school?"

"N..No, nobody like that…" he laughed with certain discomfort.

"I do!" she said cheerfully, "Someone that I like a lot!"

"Oh? Would that happen to be Shinichi-niichan that you were looking for earlier?" Conan said in a sly voice.

Ran gave a surprised look at the young boy who seemed to be mocking her in a way but dismissed the thought and answered. "That's right," she smiled.

Conan was at a loss for words. A small tint of blemish colored his round cheeks as he walked silently down the road, holding hands with the girl that was spilling her true feelings to him without knowing.

Ran continued to smile and went on. "Ever since he was small, he was really mean and always so confident and a detective nerd, but when the time comes his so reliable and courageous and cool. I really really love Shinichi!" Conan's face grew red and steam rose out from his collar as he tried to keep an understanding face, though nothing could have not seen the surprised look upon it. "But don't tell this to Shinichi okay?" Ran said putting one finger to her lips indicating it was a secret between them two.

End Flash Back

'Ran…How I wish to hear those words from your lips again right now…' Shinichi smiled and bit his lip to stop it from quivering. 'Perhaps it may have been better if I had told you from the start when you said those words to me.'

Breakfast was over and Ai had gone to school. She was amazingly serious about her schooling. She never missed one day of class since the beginning of the year unless it was something she could not help. She never paid attention in class and never took one step in gym yet she have never missed any of them. Perhaps she found relaxation in watching the kids struggle with their additions and subtractions, perhaps she just wanted to get away from the clumsy old man she had to work with for a few hours. It was weird to the two that she left behind, they had asked her about it before but she would always come up with a way to answer it by not answering it, and if that person was Kudou who asked her, she would always add a few insults with a few twists and turns so that it would be a few minutes after she leave that Kudou would realize what it is. Ai walked down the road cheerfully, smiling at the open sky. With no one around her, she felt free.

It was now 11:00 back in the house. The professor watched the teenage detective with difficulty and had attempted to cal to him but each time withdrawing for fear that he may be sticking his nose into something that he wasn't suppose to. Finally, collecting his courage he asked, "Shinichi, is something wrong?"

"It's nothing," his voice was plain. No high pitches and no low pitches. A depressing voice it was.

"Don't give me that, I can see something was wrong from a mile away," the professor insisted.

"Then why did you ask?"

"To get you to talk about it in a natural way,"

"Well I don't want to, I'm going for a walk," Shinichi jumped from his seat and marched to the door.

He snapped the door open and was about to step outside but caught himself when he found a man standing before him, his hand still reaching up to hit the door bell. "Hattori? What are you doing here?" Shinichi gasped in surprise.

"Today is our day off so I came over for a visit. I heard from that tiny neechan that you got your body back," he laughed giving Shinichi a light punch on his shoulders.

"It's only temporary,"

"Really? Darn, how long this time?"

"I think its about 2 days more,"

"Better than last time."

"Now how about telling me the rest of the reason to why you're here?"

"Huh, what are you talking about?"

"Don't tell me that you came all this way from Oosaka just to seem me."

"Hmf, yea. I heard about your situation over here so I came over to help."

"You did, from who?"

"That old man behind you"

"What! Professor!" Shinichi spun around with an angry glare.

"I thought you could use some help in this matter." The professor stepped back, holding his hands forward to protect himself from any sudden attacks. "I've noticed some difficulties in your smile lately and thought that there was something wrong. Since I'm not a world class detective like you, I thought maybe you could discuss things with him instead,"

"That's non of your business!" Kudou shouted.

"Right, I'll be in the lab so if you need me, just call me," The professor dashed down the stairs with great hurry and waved a small good bye.

"Huh, he ran away…" Shinichi pouted and turned his attention back to the smiling figure.

"So what's gotten you down so low today?" Hattori questioned.

"What are you talking about," Shinichi raised a brow.

"Common, Something must have happened if it made the "Great Detective of the East" cry," he chuckled.

"What, I wasn't…"

"Don't play dumb. Neither you were crying or the sand man came extra late today."

"huh" Shinichi rubbed his eyes and noticed a few crust falling from them. "Oh…"

"So what happened?" Hattori looked up sharply into his eyes.

Shinichi watched the man's determined face and gave up with a sigh. "I had a dream last night," he began.

"A dream?"

"Yea, it was a message from the future. Everyone died because of this stupid gamble I'm taking with this case," tears formed under his eyes, "I'm just stupid. Holmes would have thought up a definite plan, a plan with no chance that it's going to fail. But I couldn't, all I could come up with is a stupid strategy with a thousand ways to go wrong. The modern day Holmes is what they use to call me, and for some time I believed that it could have been true. But who am I kidding, look at me now."

"Enough!" Hattori cut in angrily, "You're not Holmes and you will never be! You are you and don't you forget that. Stop trying to be some fictional character because you will never be able to. It's called a fictional character for a reason."

"What do you know! Do you know how many people's lives I hold in my hand right now? It's not just Ran or Haibara, it's everyone I hold dear to. Everyone I care about, even yours! You've known me long enough to know a little about them as well. You know that if this fails then they will sure to track me down and everyone that was close to me. My father and mother, the professor, you, heck they may even go after the detective boys gang!" Shinichi snapped his head back and bit his lips. His arm extended high into the air from the adrenalin that rushed through his veins.

"And what, you're just going to mope about it? I really thought you were better than that Kudou. If you really truly are the detective that rival my own than prove it!" Hattori exclaimed.

"I can't do it Hattori, I just can't! F! I thought this plan would work for a short while but now, the more I think about it, the more I feel like it's going to fail. I never asked to be your rival and frankly I don't give a crap about it!"

Smack

"What the hell did you do that for you bastard!" Shinichi flung around with rage in his eyes as he held his face while pain shot through his jaws.

"You bastard," Hattori said quietly, breathing heavily to keep himself from going further, "Can you hear yourself right now Kudou? You're on the verge of going off the deep end and you know that….or are you trying to?"

"What!"

"Do you know why you probably had that stupid dream? It's because of your own self doubt! I bet you probably didn't think this plan was going to work from the start and that's what triggered it. What happened to that confident, persistent idiot I knew? I came here to help you, not listen to your stupid MOPING"

Shinichi shifted his glance down and shot a grin through his aching jaws. "That's the 3rd time I got hit during this thing. What is it about me getting hit that I always come to my senses. I even told myself that there was no more time for moping and here I am today again, thinking about all the negatives." Shinichi looked up. A gasp flew from the great detective of the west's lips as he took sight of the new look in the boy's eyes that stood before him and gave a cool relieved smile. Shinichi's eyes flared as he straightened his back. "This plan isn't a gamble. It's going to work…100!" is voice was firm, decisive, and assured. He turned his back to Hattori than glanced back to the Oosaka detective. "Thanks Hattori," he whispered.

Hattori smiled back than stroked his hair. "It was MY pleasure," he said mockingly. Kudou chuckled and rolled his eyes.

The sun was beginning to set and after the hours of talking and discussing, Hattori had left the house. Through the glass panes, the sun radiated its warmth upon the exhausted detective. The moist hew from the outside sneaked it's way in through the open window and slid chillingly upon his face. He shut his eyes and drifted off into sleep, all the while smiling as he thought, 'Bring it on!'

It was close to 12:00 when a figure walked in. She watched the young lad sleep with a gentle smile. Giving out a light sigh, she checked the surrounding to make sure that no one else, mainly the professor, was not there and opened the sheet she held in her hand. She gently covered the sleeping detective then took one last glance at the boy as he slept peacefully, still wearing the confident smile upon his face, before returning to her room with a chuckle.

End….

Here you go, ch12. I hope you enjoyed it! Only 2 reviews for ch11, I feel sad Thank you Crystal Snowflake and Fanfic Maniac for your generous reviews. Next chapter, Count down reaches ZERO! Judgement day arrives. Story is about to come to an end.

All reviews are well appreciated, please review :-)