A/N: Thank you for the interest!!! All questions will, I hope, be answered in due time in the course of the story.

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Chapter 6

The following morning dawned with glorious sunshine. A quick breakfast, and an even quicker packing, and I set out for Companions Field to meet Elspeth and Gwena. I'd said my goodbyes to Selenay and Talia the night before, to the servants that morning. Nothing else remained but to go home.

I was going to miss it. I wished I'd had more time to explore the grounds, or even the library, especially in light of this mystery, but it just wasn't to be. And, after all, where was it written down that Valdemar had to be the way I thought it was supposed to be? Maybe the books were the ones that were wrong. Maybe neither. Theoretical physics had always fascinated me, in a layman's way, and there were theories floating about regarding multi-universes parallel to the one we lived in. Science fiction had been playing around with that for years, and, given the evidence before my eyes, who was I to argue?

Still....

With a sigh, I let it go. It was not my problem to solve.

I made my way through Companions Field towards a mass of white—several Companions and more than one Herald.

"Good morning," I said as I approached them.

"Good morning," Elspeth replied, though her tone and eyes belied the words she spoke.

I felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck, as it were. "What's wrong?"

The Heralds—even the Companions—looked uneasily among themselves for a long moment.

No. Oh, no. It couldn't— I looked to Gwena to find that she couldn't meet my gaze.

"I can't go back." The words came from my lips in as lifeless a tone as I suddenly felt. I looked to Elspeth. "I can't go back, can I?"

She softly shook her head. "No."

I found myself fighting off a sudden panic. "Why?"

:Something is wrong with the magic that brought us to your world,: Gwena replied. :It's no longer stable. It's as though something has damaged it beyond touching.:

I was speechless for a full minute. All I could do was stare at her, silent, unable to process what she had just told me. Yes, I had prepared for the possibility of not going home, but it wasn't supposed to be a possibility. She had assured me that she could do this! I felt a wave of anger towards her, towards all of them. Had I been played for a fool? Had they known all along that they would never be able to get me back, yet allowed me to believe so in order to achieve their purposes?

:I am so sorry, Jaelle,: Gwena said.

:We did our best,: sounded a masculine voice. It was accompanied by a soft nudge on my shoulder, and I turned to see the doleful eyes of a Companion looking into mine. Somehow I knew it was Rolan. :We'll continue trying, of course, but...: His mindvoice sounded dubious at best.

I didn't know if they could read my thoughts, and I didn't trust myself to speak, so I just glanced down at the grass and said nothing.

"We are all sorry," Elspeth chimed in.

I nodded and did my best to clamp down on the anger I was feeling. When I felt in sufficient control, I looked up at them. "Well, I guess I don't need to be carrying these around," I said, indicating my bags.

Elspeth turned to one of the Heralds next to her, a young man. "Darvin, please take Jaelle's bags back to her suites."

"Of course," he replied. He stepped towards me and I let him take my belongings without protest.

"I don't know what to say," I said. "I—I think I would just like some time to myself to process it all."

Elspeth nodded, and both she and her fellow Heralds and the Companions turned to go. She caught my eyes briefly before she departed. "I meant what I said to you before. We aren't going to abandon you."

Tears stung my eyes and I just nodded and turned away before I lost complete control.

I wandered deeper into the Field, towards the river, trying not to stumble through my desperate attempts to stem the sobs that wanted to burst forth. I was not a child, I told myself sternly, trying to maintain control. I was an adult, thirty years old, and I had chosen to do this, knowing that getting stuck here was a possibility. But then the image of my parents, who would never know what had happened to me, flashed across my mind. I had left them a note telling them that I had gone to help a friend and that I would be back in a day or two. Now...

The tears streamed down my face. I wasn't sad so much at the thought of never seeing them again as I was at the thought that they would never know what had happened to me. I would be listed as missing, and they would never know that I was okay. The assumption would be that I had been murdered, and they would never have closure to that nightmare. It wasn't fair to me, but it was even more unfair to them, and I was suddenly angry with myself that I hadn't thought of that earlier. If I had, I could have left a better note, one that would have assured them that I was okay. I might not have come at all.

And my orphans—they were waiting for me. I had promised them faithfully that I would come back to them. They'd been disappointed so often in their lives, and it had taken me months just to get them to trust me. And now?

I sat down by the river, hugged my knees to my chest and gave free rein to my sobs. How could I have been so selfish as to have let my curiosity take precedence over the needs of those I loved?

:You shouldn't do this to yourself.:

I raised my head to see the glowing form of a Companion stallion laying in the grass within a handsbreadth of me. I hadn't even heard him approach, and I wasn't really interested in talking to anyone.

"What do you know about what I should and shouldn't do?" I demanded bitterly. "And furthermore, why were you reading my thoughts?"

:Forgive me for the intrusion,: he replied, :but I know all about making hard decisions that don't turn out the way you expect. You'll second guess yourself to death if you're not careful.:

I just looked at him.

:My name is Landon,: he continued, :and I thought you could use a friend.:

I uncurled and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in his mane.

:By the way, you're never too old to have a good cry,: he finished.

I sobbed myself out on his shoulder—or whatever passed for a Companion's shoulder—and eventually fell asleep.

It was midday by the time I awoke, and Landon hadn't moved a muscle in that time.

:How do you feel?: he asked as I sat up and stretched.

"A little better," I replied. "Thank you."

:My pleasure,: he returned.

I regarded him curiously. "If I ask you a question, will you tell me the truth?"

:I give you my word that I will never lie to you,: he replied.

"I know who you are," I said.

:Yes, I know. Gwena and the others told us about you. What is your question?:

"Did she lie to me?" I asked, searching his eyes. "Did Gwena just promise me a way home in order to get back here?" Of all the times I needed the truth, now was it.

:No,: Landon replied somberly. :I don't believe she did. Using the Gate to return back home made the magics even more unstable than they already were. They were simply too wild to use a third time.:

I nodded. Treachery on the part of the Companions would have made living here impossible, instead of just almost-impossible. I looked over to Landon once more. "Are you going to suppress my knowledge of you and Valdemar?"

:No,: he replied. :We know that you won't say anything, and we also know that your Valdemar is different from ours. It wouldn't make much difference in any case. Besides,: he continued, :it was your knowledge of Valdemar that significantly affected your decision to come here. We couldn't take that from you.:

"I appreciate that," I said. "Thank you." I looked around me and then at the sun. "I probably should be getting back to the Palace. The day is getting on."

:I'm here if you want to talk. And remember, Rolan said they would keep trying.:

My vision blurred for a moment, and I threw my arms around his neck once more in wordless thanks before rising and making my way back to my suites.

The afternoon went by in a blur. I was whisked away for lunch with Selenay, and was about ready to scream by the time she and Talia and Elspeth had finished apologizing to me two hours later. I knew they felt badly for what happened, but the constant apologies were wearing on me. Following a subsequent nap, I felt a desperate need to lose myself in something outside of my misery.

In wandering the corridors of the Palace, I soon found myself in the library. As soon as I entered, a page came up to me.

"How can I help you, my lady?" he asked.

I didn't look much like a lady in my jeans and t-shirt, but I supposed that didn't matter. There was a kind of sympathy in his eyes, and I realized that the saying about nothing traveling faster than bad news transcended time and space.

I hadn't really intended to come here, but now that I was here, with the resources at my fingertips, I figured I might as well take advantage of the situation.

"I'd like to read the history of Valdemar," I said.

"From the beginning?" the page asked.

"Yes, please," I replied. I knew I wouldn't get much information from the history prior to Vanyel, as the books said little, if anything, about it. I thought it wise, however, to request the entire chronicles. It would raise suspicion if a perfect stranger were to request history texts from a certain point of a history she wasn't supposed to know anything about.

"Very good, my lady," the page answered. "I will have those materials sent to your suites immediately."

I started to protest, but then thought better of it. I had no idea what I was going to find in the chronicles. Best to read them, then, in a place where my reactions would be hidden and I would not potentially betray myself.

"Thank you," I replied. With a smile, I turned and exited the library. I made my way back to my suites and after requesting a supply of food and drink, prepared to spend some time in study.

Hours later, I had a headache that even a dose of Advil didn't touch. I suspected it was due to reading by candlelight—something I was not accustomed to doing—but I had been so engrossed in my study, I hadn't wanted to stop. I even declined an invitation to join Selenay for dinner, choosing to have a light supper brought to me.

I was glad I had done it. I was even more glad that I had decided to read the materials in the privacy of my suites. I was so blown away by what I'd read that I doubted that I could have maintained a poker face had I been in public.

I set aside the final volume and rubbed my eyes. Things were so different from the Valdemar I knew. I had been surprised from the very first volume I had picked up. It had been one about Vanyel.

According to this volume, Vanyel didn't die in a Final Strike. He somehow managed to defeat the Dark Lord and live to a ripe old age with Stefan. He seemed to have spent the rest of his life convincing Valdemar that Herald-Mages were no different than regular Heralds, and from what I could tell in the histories, it worked. Herald-Mages didn't fade from history, though they were rather rare after that point, and they were treated just like normal Heralds and vice versa.

The next interesting thing I found concerned Hulda, Elspeth's nurse. It seemed that Elspeth's Mage potential was recognized at an early age by Hulda. Hulda herself was recorded as being a mage who tried to kidnap Elspeth and take her to Hardorn. It didn't say why, but her plan was foiled, however, by Talia and Skif, and she was captured and confessed everything under the Truth Spell, and was subsequently executed. There was then a minor note in the records that Elspeth was to receive training as a mage once her Gift began to manifest itself. It also seemed that ever since Hulda's failed attempt to kidnap Elspeth, there had been magical skirmishes along the Valdemar/Hardorn border. The most recent chronicles seemed to hint at the general expectation of an out-and-out war breaking out between the two sides sometime in the near future.

From that, I concluded that since Hulda was discovered, and given her connection to Hardorn and the skirmishes being fought, there would never have been a marriage proposal from Ancar, thus there would never have been a trip to Hardorn by Kris and Talia, and Kris would never have been killed. There would also have been no war precipitated by those events, which would explain why Kerowyn was not in Haven, or Selenay's husband, for that fact. Also, since there was always magic in Valdemar, Elspeth would never have had to leave Valdemar to find training, thus the absence in Valdemar of Darkwind and the others who were in the books.

I did find some other interesting notations as well. Orthallen had suddenly "disappeared" after Hulda was captured. The chronicles had branded him a traitor, as apparently Hulda had confessed under the Truth Spell that he was somehow complicit in the whole matter. He had a price on his head, and there was no record of him ever having been discovered since.

As for Karse, things seemed the same as they did in the books, except that there was no mention of Solaris or of an alliance. Perhaps everything had been pushed back in time, as it were. By this time in the books, there had been more than one war with Hardorn, and even with the Eastern Empire. But here, things seemed to be moving much more slowly in that regard. Everything was years behind.

The entire thing raised more questions than it answered, I thought as I dressed for bed. Specifically, two: why didn't Vanyel die in a Final Strike, and why, given the fact that magic didn't leave Valdemar, did Elspeth still get Chosen by a Groveborn Companion?

I had no answers, but I was determined to find some.