A/N: Well, after spending a week of intense reading, I think I'm getting ahead in my studies, so hopefully I can work on this story a little more. I really appreciate all the reviews! I don't know how many times I can say that before it starts sounding stupid and trite, but I mean it!! And I do expect that all questions/theories/etc. will be answered in due time---but I certainly enjoy reading everyone's speculations!!!

W

C

W

C

W

C

Chapter 9

I crashed to the floor of the salle in ignominious defeat. At least, I thought with grim satisfaction, I took him with me.

I opened my eyes to see Alberich pick himself up and casually dust himself off as if he hadn't just tried to strangle me, and I hadn't just fought back tooth and nail, holding on so tightly, he fell with me when I lost my balance. He extended his hand to me, and I reached for it, wincing in pain as I allowed him to help me up.

"Not bad," he commented.

I resisted the urge to snort. Oh, puh-leeese. Children half my age were dancing circles around me. I had yet to keep from being "killed" by Alberich, and he thought my miserable performance was "not bad"? Compared to what??? Instead of indulging my frustrations, however, I opted for a more neutral reply.

"I am far too old for this," I groaned, dusting myself off as I tried to ignore the throbbing pain in the arm I had unceremoniously landed on. And Alberich had partially broken my fall.

Yes, I was definitely too old for this.

I could hear the students try to smother their amusement, but Alberich didn't even bother to attempt to hide his. His back to his students, he allowed himself the luxury of a smile, his eyes fairly twinkling with laughter at me.

"Worse, I have seen," he replied, going over to the weapons rack by the wall and taking something from it. He was all business again as he returned and handed me the wooden equivalent of a knife. "Weaponswork, we shall begin today."

I hadn't been prepared for this, and I suddenly felt like he'd just plunged that knife into my heart. I could only stare at it as he stepped back a few paces.

"Come, attack!" he commanded.

But I couldn't move. I could only stand there and stare at that stupid knife, frozen, as though my feet had been nailed to the floor. I was assaulted with memories I had fought so hard to overcome.

Little Aaron...

I heard Alberich call my name, and as though that were a release of sorts, I looked up to see a concerned sort of confusion in his eyes.

I found his image suddenly blurred by tears, and I shook my head. "I can't," I said, and, dropping the knife, I turned and fled the salle.

I had never run from anything—not from my grandmother's funeral, or the squalid living conditions of the orphans in Romania, or even the sight of a precious five year old boy with a knife in his side—

Oh, my heart! came the cry from deep within me. Did you know I would have adopted you first?

But I ran from this. I simply could not wield a knife. I had only just been able to pick up a steak knife again without trembling when the Heralds appeared on my doorstep. To fight with one—it was impossible. I'd held little Aaron in my arms as the life quietly ebbed from him. I hadn't signed up for that when I'd chosen to go abroad, and it had affected me more profoundly than anything else ever had.

I was sobbing by now, stumbling along who-knows-where when I, quite literally, ran into a broad, white, velvet-soft form.

I didn't know who it was, and I didn't care. I just wrapped my arms around his or her neck and sobbed as I hadn't done since I'd buried Aaron.

:There now,: a maternal voice said in my mind. :It wasn't your fault.:

I felt a nudge on my shoulder and I looked up to see Landon there. I transferred my tears to his mane and felt his comfort wash over me.

:Althea is right, Jaelle,: he said. :Aaron's death wasn't your fault.:

"I know," I sobbed out. No one could have known those thugs were lying in wait for us that night. "But I—I—" I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "Seeing that knife—I couldn't stop the memories from coming."

I heard approaching footfalls in the grass and I looked over Landon's shoulder to see Herald Treven, one of the students from the weapons class, drawing near. I did not want to talk to anyone, but there was no way out of it. I dried my eyes as best I could, but I was surprised to see him walk past me and give Althea a kiss on the nose.

"Thank you, love," he said. She nuzzled him back and, casting me a sympathetic look, trotted away.

"She's your Companion?" I asked, sufficiently diverted from my tears at the unexpected sight.

"When she claims me," he replied with a wry smile. But then the smile faded and he stepped closer. "I asked her to intercept you." Before I could protest, he continued. "I saw how you looked at that knife. I know what that's like, and maybe it's not my place, but I also know that being alone right now is the worst possible thing you can do."

I didn't know whether to be grateful or angry at his blatant invasion, but seeing the compassion in his eyes, I swallowed my ire and chose the former. With a sigh, I wiped the tears from my eyes with a corner of my t-shirt.

"I've got some tea and sweetcakes in my suites," he said. "Care to join me and talk about it?"

Lucia was spending the afternoon playing with Elspeth's daughter, and class was obviously over for both of us, so—

Nodding my assent, I kissed Landon goodbye and followed Treven to the Herald's wing of the Collegium. He ushered me into his suites, a surprisingly neat, clean set of rooms.

"How long have you been a Herald?" I asked, taking a seat in an old, stuffed chair, as he set about making tea.

"Fifteen years this summer," he replied with a smile. "I was Chosen when I was fourteen, got my Whites when I was nineteen, and now I'm thirty-four."

"What was it like, being Chosen?" I asked, accepting the cup and saucer he held out to me.

His brown eyes grew thoughtful, and a look of wonder overshadowed his face for a moment. "I felt like I had come home." He shook off the reverie into which he had fallen and smiled at me. "Don't misunderstand—I didn't have a bad life. My parents loved me very much, and provided a good home for me and my brothers, but I had always felt like something was...missing, somehow." He shook his head, a small bit of that wonder returning to his eyes. "It wasn't until Althea showed up that I realized what it was that had been missing."

I watched him as he set a pot of water to boil over the fire. "Were any of your brothers Chosen?"

"No," he replied, turning from the fireplace. "I was the only one of the three of us. Jadon and Marc are at the family keep, raising sheep and babies and living very happy lives." Treven took a seat across from me and set the tray of sweetcakes on the low table between us. "Please, help yourself," he said, taking a cake of his own. "I've found that life generally turns out for the best." He paused to glance at me. "But there are exceptions to that rule, unfortunate ones. Do you want to talk about yours?"

I chose a cake for myself and proceed to tell him about my life, my work with the orphans, and about little Aaron—all with relatively few tears.

"That would shake anyone," he said soberly once I finished my tale. "I'm sure Alberich will understand."

"I hope so," I replied.

"If you'd like, I could have Althea tell Kantor," Treven offered. "He can tell Alberich for you."

"Would they mind?" I asked. At this point, I didn't even want to see Alberich again, let alone have to explain. It was a cowardly reaction on my part, I knew, but I didn't have the emotional strength to resist the temptation.

"Not at all," he replied, rising to check on the water. "Consider it done." He fetched our cups and proceeded to make the tea.

"Thank you," I replied.

Smiling, he brought the tea back over. "It's nothing. I'm happy to help." He handed me my cup. "I hope you like chamomile—it's my favorite. There's honey here, too, if you want to sweeten it."

I carefully took the steaming cup from his hands. "I love chamomile, thank you." I added a dollop of honey and stirred it a few times before testing it. "This is perfect," I told him. "Thank you again."

"My pleasure," he responded. "I've watched you in class since you started, and, of course, heard all the rumors. If I may be so bold as to say it, I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you." He took a sip of his tea. "I'm just sorry it had to be like this."

"I hope you didn't feel like you needed an excuse," I said.

"Most of us aren't really sure how to approach you," Treven confessed. "Which makes it doubly hard for the shy ones like me." Embarrassed, he smiled at me. "I'd love to hear about your world."

I glanced at my watch, which I had reset to conform to the sundial in the gardens. It was just past three, and I needed to go retrieve Lucia by three-thirty—or somewhat close to that. Did I have time to go into—

"What is that?" Treven asked, breaking into my thoughts.

I looked up to see him pointed at my watch, and I smiled. Setting my teacup down on the table, I took off my watch and handed it to him. "It's a watch. It tells me what time it is, like a sundial, only more accurately and all the time. I was checking because I need to go fetch Lucia in a little bit." I don't think he even heard me, he was so enraptured by the timepiece.

"How does this little wand move?" he asked in awe, setting his own cup down so as to give his full attention to the watch. "And is this the moon?" He turned it over in his hands, examining it carefully.

"It has springs inside give it its power when they are wound up by the dial on the side," I replied. I had always wanted a wind-up watch, nostalgic that I was, and my parents had gotten this one for me when I graduated from college. "And, yes, that's the moon. It also keeps track of the moon's phases." I leaned closer. "As you can see, it will be full moon tomorrow."

He looked up at me with such wonder on his face I was hard put to keep from laughing. "How does it know that?"

"I don't know," I confessed. "It just does."

He handed it back to me with a shake of his head. "They said your world was amazing, but I didn't imagine anything like this." He retrieved his cup of tea from the table. "Elspeth said you also have a FarSpeaking device that makes music."

"FarSpeaking device?" I echoed. And music??

Treven nodded. "She said you were speaking to your parents with it, but that they were on the other side of your kingdom."

I laughed. "I understand now. It's called a telephone." I took a sip of my tea. "That first evening during dinner my parents called me from Colorado, a place on the other side of the country."

"And this telephone involves no mind magic?" Treven asked.

I shook my head. "No. It turns the speaker's voice into something like lightning, sends it along wires to where the listener is, and then turns the lightning back into the speaker's voice."

"That sounds like magic to me!" Treven replied, laughing.

I had to agree. "For what it's worth, I'm just as amazed at such abilities as Mindspeech and Fetching, to say nothing of real magic!" I finished my tea off and set the cup down on the table. "May I ask what Gifts you have?"

"Mindspeech and Fetching," he said with a laugh. "And a touch of Firestarting, though it's not enough to do more than light the tinder in a fireplace." He finished off his own tea. "But it always comes in handy when I'm on circuit."

"Do you go out often?" I asked.

Nodding, he gathered the tea cups and rose. "As often as I can. Right now, I'm taking my turn at teaching the history and geography of my home area to the trainees, but I expect to be sent back out within the next couple of weeks."

He gathered the rest of the things and brought them over to a sideboard. Glancing at my watch, I rose as well. Lucia would be expecting me soon.

"Thank you for your kindness, Treven," I said to him.

"Leaving so soon?" he asked.

"Lucia—my daughter—she's waiting for me," I explained.

"I heard about that—we all did, actually—and I think what you did is wonderful," he replied.

I felt suddenly bold. "Perhaps we could have dinner sometime," I suggested. "I'd love for her to meet you."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to crawl into a hole. What had possessed me to say such a thing? I didn't know a thing about this man. For all I knew, he was married, or lifebonded or something. I felt my face turn three shades of red. Had I just ruined what seemed to be a great beginning to a perfectly fine friendship—something I had very little of here outside of Selenay and Talia?

:He's not married or lifebonded or given to another,: came Landon's unexpected input in my mind, startling me so much, I nearly fell over. :And, according to Althea, he likes you, something that ought to be obvious to you.:

"Are you all right?" Treven asked, reaching out to steady me.

"I'm fine," I replied. "Landon just spoke to me. It startled me, that's all."

Treven's eyes went wide. "He spoke to you?" He looked at me carefully. "Did he Choose you?"

"No," I replied, "we're just friends. He's spoken to me before, but never at a distance." Especially since he promised not to invade my thoughts.

:I never promised any such thing,: Landon said.

"I've never heard of a Companion doing something like that before," Treven said.

While I could walk and chew gum at the same time, I could not carry on two simultaneous conversations, and since Treven was infinitely more attractive than Landon, I turned my attention to him, ignoring the stubborn horse in the back of my mind for the time being.

"I think I'm an exception to a lot of rules," I replied. "Plus, I think they feel sorry for me, since they couldn't get me back."

I "heard" an affronted snort in my mind and a moment later, could no longer sense Landon's presence there.

What was that all about?? Whatever, I thought, trying not to roll my eyes. I had no time to deal with it at that point. I was already late retrieving Lucia as it was, and Treven had said something to me in reply, which, thanks to Landon, I had only caught snatches of...something about Companions and surprise...but it didn't seem to require a reply, so I just made my way to the door.

"Perhaps we could have dinner tonight," Treven suggested.

That caught my attention, reminding me of what had gotten me all flustered in the first place, and I felt myself blush. Me. At thirty.

I had to get out of there.

"Okay," I replied. "When?"

He smiled at me and opened the door. "You have your hands full, so I'll cook. I'll come get you when it's ready."

He cooks? I felt myself returning his smile in spite of myself. "That sounds good." I turned and started down the corridor. As soon as I heard the door close behind me, I paused and leaned up against the wall, softly banging my head against it. Was I thirty, or thirteen?

I didn't have the time for self-indulgent speculation, however, and I pushed away from the wall, and all but sprinted to the nursery, where both Lucia and Elspeth were waiting for me.

"I'm sorry I'm late," I announced as I entered the room.

Hearing my voice, Lucia looked up from her toys and, seeing me, flew across the room and into my arms. Landon and Treven, and even Aaron were forgotten as I held her for that brief moment.

"Mother wanted me to bring you by her suites later today," Elspeth said. "Are you busy now?"

"No," I replied, shifting Lucia's weight to a more comfortable position. I had wanted to peruse some of the old Bardic tales, but if Selenay was requesting my presence, the tales could wait. "What's going on?"

She smiled, a merry twinkle in her eyes. "Oh, you'll see."