Disclaimer: Hello everyone. I do not own Fruits Basket ((Tears and cries)) Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! Feeling the love! Anyway, here's chapter 12! Enjoy

Chapter 12 Our Anguish

Tohru had a rough time concentrating at school, it was hard, because she was only still feeling the emotional hurt from when Kyo assaulted her like he did

"I'M FINE" Kyo screamed slamming his fist against the table in the center of the room and it shattered into many small pieces. The force of his assault shot the wood in many different directions, which flung Tohru back, a small shard of wood flying into Tohru's forehead. Tohru sat back on the floor, looking at him frightened.

Even Uo and Hana could not cheer her up. Tohru only continued to stare at the blank chalk board ahead of her, and tuned out Sensei Honda's teachings. Morning classes were such a blur, she could not remember anything, it felt like, she was slowly slipping away.

The bell rang, and the class departed to the cafeteria. It was Wednesday, their school trip was Saturday,and Tohru's birthday was tomorrow.Tohru could not even smile, it was just, so crushing. Tohru was about to retreat to her flowery sanctuary when someone took her by the wrist. Tohru flinched but turned around looking to the boy who had her hand.

"Hey Tohru. Come sit with us at lunch today. You always seem to creep away!" Momiji said smiling, Haru standing behind him. Haru's face, it looked slightly worried, but he still said nothing, standing there with his arms crossed.

"Alright Momiji...." Tohru said quietly, and she followed the two into the lunch room along with Uo and Hana.

The five of them sat down, Yuki's location was unknown at the time. Everyone seemed to exchange lunches, all fighting over the one's Tohru had prepared, which made her laugh embarrassed.

"Tohru's food is better then a five star restaurant I swear!" Ou said taking a bite out of Momiji's sandwich, which she had earned in a trade.

"Yeah well, I get her meals three times I day, so I'm willing to share" Momiji replied sheepishly as he munched on Uo's tofu sandwich.

"Her tea is quite define" Hana replied with a small chuckle, sipping at the luke-warm herbal tea.

"Oh please, the tea is practically instant with my own secret flavor, and the sandwiches are normal meats from the deli" Tohru replied rolling her eyes cutely.

"You still seem to put your own magic into them." Haru replied eating his.

"Her own little slice of Love" Momiji replied cracking up

Tohru found herself laughing, and she smiled too, holding her sides. Tohru now realized, that everyone was trying to make her feel better, knowing how gloomy she had seemed. For a moment, she looked at all her friends fondly, so glad she had them around.

"So, anyone up for a little soccer when we get home?" Momiji asked to Tohru and Haru.

"Only if you're prepared to lose" Haru replied laughing.

"I guess I'll try it. I"ve never really done much in the athletics department other than gymnastics and dancing. But those weren't ever professionally either, I did that stuff for fun..."

"Don't worry, its only us Sohmas, we always have a game of soccer once in a while. Its practically tradition. Oh yeah Kei will be there too, only cause Kei kept complaining we weren't paying enough attention to him"

"God that guy is such a pain. He wouldn't stop nagging me" Haru replied rolling his eyes

"But you two are best friends though right?" Tohru asked curiously

"Of course, we may get on each other's nerves, but its part of why we get along"

"They're both just stubborn guys" Momiji replied laughing, and was then hit in the back of the head with Haru's hand.

Tohru covered her mouth with her hand trying hard not to laugh.

"Oww....Haru you idiot" Momiji moaned rubbing the bump on his head

"What?" Haru looked around innocently like he hadn't done anything.

Tohru could only just start laughing again, laughing so hard that tears started to stream down her cheeks. She nearly fell over from her laughing.

Meanwhile

Kyo still lay in his bed, staring at the murky wall. He had remained curled in up in a ball, silent, ever since Tohru had quietly shut his door those hours ago. He rolled over on his bed, turned, staring at the debris of the table in the middle of the room and the dent of his closet door, and sighed. His chair laid upturned slanted against the wall, and the table's flakes covered almost every inch of his carpet floor.

Upon his bedroom door, were many little shreds from the wood, and a few droplets of blood, her blood. Kyo frowned again, and felt more tears creep down his cheeks. She had always been there for him, always trying to just be friends with him, help him, and all he did was cause her pain.

He sat there in his ball, and stared at the pictures up on his mantel, the family picture, and Tohru's picture. Kyo had called her name, and she had turned around smiling, and at the last second the lense closed, capturing her surprise and loving smile. Kyo fought with himself on what to do. He simply got of his bed, groaning as he did, his face still dampened with tears. But as he stood, he felt fatigue take him over, and he fell forward.

He landed upon the pile of wood chips, none actually piercing his skin, but he lay their motionless, looking back at her speckled blood on the wall. "Tohru...."

Back at High School

Everyone had been successful in cheering Tohru up. She pranced into the class with everyone else, beaming like her usual self. Yuki was relieved to see her smile. As she sat down at her seat, she did feel somewhat empty, realizing the seat beside hers, Kyo's, was still empty.

The rest of the day, Tohru was drawing again, lyrics and other things filling the pages of the old notebook Shigure had seen that day. Her shadow fading father away. But Tohru remained focused on the class work.

"Miss Honda. Do you care to answer the question?"

"Gomen Sensei, could you please restate the question I must answer?"

"If all you knew was taken away, you were left alone, to start a new life, what would you do?"

"Just move forward"

"Excuse me Miss Honda? I don't understand"

"I would just move forward; whether I'd be alone forever, and walk a vacant path, staring down at your past, only makes everything farther away. Just move forward, and never forget the person you once were"

"So, you would just aimlessly walk the world? Does that not seem, juvenile?"

"What else is there to do when you are left with nothing?! You have to search for purpose, search for meaning, there is a reason we all live, and we have to find it. I've already lost everything once before so what does it matter if we have the map or not, when all that's the same is the destination at hand"

"And what is our destination Miss Honda?" Sensei asked perplexed

"Death."

"Death?"

"In the end, we all will perish and die. Some young, some old, and in the worst moments of our lives. Slowly we'll end up alone, and that cycle just continues. No matter how far away it is, it's the only secure thing we know, everything else is up in the air"

"Interesting Miss Honda. I would say your answer is pessimistic, but at the same time it isn't. You do speak the truth, and you encourage others to grasp onto their lives and hold them tight."

"Just make the most of your life, and just move forward" Tohru said finally.

The school bell rang and Tohru exited the classroom with the Sohmas and company. The Sohmas, especially Momiji, was unsettled by her answer, and walked quietly behind her. But they didn't really ask, they mostly pieced it together with Kyoko's death.

"Its hard to remember, that she's still hurting" Haru said quietly

"She hides it really well, behind her giggles and smiles" Momiji replied softly

"But, some days she really is happy, but I guess, that pain never does disappear"

"HEY YOU SLOWPOKES! LETS GET GOING" Tohru called from up in the front of the pack. Yuki was beside her, surprised that she could call so loudly to them, and had a sweat drop on his forehead.

Haru and Momiji quickly ran to catch up with the other two.

"So are we still playing soccer?" Tohru asked

"Sure, if you still want to" Momiji replied laughing.

"Yes!" Tohru replied happily laughing, everyone else slowly joining her, forgetting about school.

Tohru ran into the house, up to her room, and quickly changed out of her school outfit. She hoped into some athletic pants and a T-shirt. She was walking back down the hallway towards the stairs, and stopped before Kyo's door. Tohru wanted to talk to him, but for this moment she only stared at the door.

On the inside, Kyo could see the outline of a figure. His vision blurry from the tears and his weariness. He wasn't ill, he just was so tired and miserable. Kyo focused, squinting his eyes, and made the outline of the figure, it was Tohru's figure. He grew quiet, he wanted to call out to her, but didn't. He watched Tohru shift her weight slightly, and raise her hand to knock at his door, but retreat soon after, and then her shadow faded away, she was gone.

Tohru walked down the stairs, remembering the painstaking words Kyo had shouted this morning, and she continued through the house until she reached the backdoor. She wandered through the forest, until she came across a field. There in the field were two soccer nets set up, still part of the Sohmas property. Tohru was early, but didn't mind at all.

Kei was already leaned up against the south goal post, and from a far, you'd think he was sleeping. Tohru walked up to him slowly, behind him, so he couldn't see. There were not nets up, just the goal, and she covered his eyes from behind.

Kei jerked slightly, but let his hands rise up to touch hers, and he snickered gently.

"Hey Tohru" He replied pulling her hands away gently as she walked out in front of him.

"Have a nice nap Kei-kun?" She asked innocently.

"Hehe, yeah actually I did. Got plenty of sleep in Sensei's class' He replied yawning.

"Oh you're such the studious boy aren't you?" Tohru laughed sarcastically.

Kei only raised an eyebrow and wrapped his arm around her neck rubbing her fist against her head. Tohru squealed and laughed.

"Oh yeah?" He replied rubbing her head again, trying to drag her away, but Tohru latched her arms onto the goal post. Kei laughed again trying to pull her away, like a cartoon, her arms stretching as she flailed her feet laughing.

"NOOOO don't take me away" She squealed again laughing. Finally, her hands slipped, and she was flung back., stumbling and falling into Kei. The two of them, then landed on the soft grass.

"Gees you have a strong grip" Kei replied laughing, the two still on the ground, his arm still limply around her waist, and Tohru slightly on top of him, mostly at his side, she not even being able to answer her she was laughing so hard. "Breathe Tohru breathe, I can't tell Haru that I broke you" he replied laughing

"I'm okay, I'm okay" She replied, her breathing slowing to a normal pace. She broke away from his grasp and stared up at the blue and cloudy sky. "You'd do anything for Haru?"

"Of course I would. He's my best friend. We've known each other since like kindergarten."

"That's even longer then I've known Uo and Hana. I'd do anything for them"

"You'd do anything for anyone you met on the street. You're just selfless"

"I'd do anything for anyone I really cared about. I'd kill for them, and I'd die for them. I'd try to help them in anyway possible"

"Die for them...."

"Even for you. I'd do anything to help you,"

Kei raised an eyebrow again, and turned over to look at her. "Me?"

"Of course, you're Haru's most trusted friend, you two are like brothers. I wouldn't want him, or you to be upset by something if I could prevent it. I want you, and everyone else to be happy"

"I can see I was wrong about you. I used to think you were just a peppy perky girl, like almost annoying but you're really not. I thought, it was an act. I misjudged, I see that you truly care about everyone."

"Everyone, and if you ever need help, or if there's something I can do to help, just tell me." Tohru replied smiling.

"Could you do me a favor then Tohru?" He asked quietly, Tohru turning over to face him.

"Sure. What would that be?" she asked curiously.

"Just—" he sentenced unfinished by him using one arm for support while he leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the lips. Realizing what he had done, he pulled away quickly and looked away. "Just...move forward....Just go Tohru...quickly" He replied woefully, clenching his fist.

"Kei...." Tohru whispered gently, she was so lost already. Kei had always been like a playful friend to her. Just moments ago he was ruffling her hair and bullying her like an older brother or friend. Kei tried to advert his gaze from her eyes, but he looked back to her, seeing her lustrous hazel eyes.

"Please Tohru just go. Before Haru shows up, I can't...do this to him. I...I don't know what's going on..." He replied his hand shaking, as he tried to reach out and touch her cheek. He stopped midway, and retreated that hand, shaking his head and screamed "JUST GO"

Tohru scampered up quickly trying to not look back at Kei, who seemed so lost. Tohru could hear him whimpering for her. Tohru felt so torn. She wanted to comfort him, being the way she was, but she knew that he was sending her away for his friend, for Haru.

His discomfort, was painful to see. Tohru fell back down to her knees, he looking to her confused. Tohru gently took him into her arms, rubbing at his back like a mother to her son. Kei buried his face against her chest smothering his whispers and tears. Tohru stroked him gently. He was so limp up against her but, his hand still wrapped around her, latching onto her, like he was afraid she would leave.

"I can't...hold you this way....I can't..." Kei croaked, still trying to cease his tears.

"Its okay Kei. We both know..." She murmured.

"I wasn't...supposed to fall for you. I wasn't....." He croaked again, and she rubbed him still.

"The best laid plans o' mice and men gang aft agley" she whispered gently. "Nothing goes as planed Kei..."

"Why...." he asked half-heartedly.

"If he was here Kei, he could see how great of a friend you are. Look at the pain you are going through, for his sake. You're giving up, something you desire so bad, so he can be happy." she maundered

"I...want...you....so badly." he moaned unhappily. "But...I can't betray him...he's all I have..it hurts...so much'

"I know it hurts. The pain dampens your good heart. I can feel the pain too." she whispered softly, resting her warm face against his unruly blue hair.

"Your heart...is too much to turn away...I know...why he wants you...like I do..." he murmured again. "You...can look past all the mistakes...you can see....what no one else bothers to find...."

She sighed softly, ruffling his indulgent hair. "Its not as hard as everyone thinks." She sighed again. Kei twisted slightly, forcing more of his weight against her, slowly growing wearier in her arms. His eyes still shut as his face rested against her collarbone.

"Why did I have to fall in love with you? Why did Haru have to fall for you too?" he asked miserably, and Tohru could feel him stutter and shake from his tears.

"I'm sorry Kei." She whispered softly. "I'm sorry..." she whispered again.

"I've tried so hard...to pretend...to turn you away...but I have my own life too...it shouldn't fully be dedicated to his wants...I have my own...but...its just...ramifying."

Tohru couldn't say anything more to answer his painful questions. There was nothing she could do. His ordeal, was something he'd have to deal with.

"What is worth more to you, an infatuation with me, or a dear friend you've had since you were young?"

Kei lifted his head and looked into her hazel eyes. Her eyes were so soft, her whole face seemed soft, as if she did feel the pain you did. Kei stared into her for a long while and only cried harder, smothering himself against her.

"Good Kei...good" She replied gently, knowing, and he embraced her gently.

Kei stifled and cried on and off for a long time, and Tohru remained silent, comforting him in her loving arms as she brought in the silence. It was all she could do to comfort herself, and comfort him.

She was so warm, Kei thought, as he rested against her for all that time. He knew, that Haru's friendship was more important, but he knew, that it was not an infatuation either. Tohru, captured his heart with the own loving one. She was altruistic, even though her mother had only just passed away, and she had lost everything.

After that long while, he wiped his eyes hastily with the sleeve of his jacket, his eyes puffy, but Tohru still smiled, wiping away the few he missed gently. Her soft fingers ran up the side of his cheek and played with his hair as she smiled gently.

"I know it aches, like the sea, but you'll see, you'll find someone better."

Kei only shook his head in disagreement,

"No one, will ever be better, you are my angel,"

"And I will protect you, I will be your guardian angel." She replied softly.

"My angel..." he repeated once more, and kissed her cheek gently, and she kept him close once more.

Author's Note

I know Kei's infatuation with Tohru did not seem so long or aggressive in this chapter, but it was more to, show the bonds, and sacrifices we made, and the pain, that many of us go through. Dedicated to my friend Kimmi, who gave up her love, so her friend could have him instead.

I wonder what will happen at Tohru's birthday tomorrow, or will everyone truly cast it aside, because she didn't remind them. The trip is in two days as well, I can't wait to see what I come up with!