A/N: Thank you for the reviews (and a special thanks to etcetera-cat)! I have a 15-page paper due soon, so naturally, I'm doing this instead. rolls eyes I'd like to finish before finals next month, but I don't know how likely that will be.

And like last time, I'm not punctuationally-challenged.

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Chapter 16

"I have no doubt that you'll all be fine in my absence," I said to the assembled group of servants. The trunks were packed and secured to the carriage, and Lucia and I were ready to leave for Haven. "And Marin is here. You'll be safe enough."

I looked down at the official letter from Haven, informing me of Selenay's death, and Elspeth's upcoming coronation. It said nothing of Ehnley or of the circumstances of Selenay's death. It was merely a general order for all nobility to come to Haven to swear fealty to their new Queen. Winter would soon set it, and it acknowledged the inability of many nobles to attend, and gave the option of coming in the spring.

Wild horses couldn't keep me away, to say nothing of a little snow.

Elspeth had written a little note at the end, saying that there would be room at the Palace if I was coming, and that she hoped I would come, but she was silent regarding all else. I had dashed off a quick reply and then ordered the trunks packed immediately. Lucia and I were just about to set out.

"What of Ehnley?" Marin asked.

"He can burn in hell for all I care," I snapped. "The smiling little b—" I shut my mouth, suddenly mindful of Lucia's presence.

"Mama, that's not a nice word," she said, looking up at me in all seriousness.

I had forgotten that she could hear thoughts. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," I said, taking a deep breath to calm myself and try to get my thoughts to be a little more "quiet." I looked to Marin. "I'm not going to sit around here anymore just waiting. I'm going to Haven, regardless of what has or has not happened to Ehnley." I looked out over the rest of them. "If you need me, send word. I'll write as soon as I arrive and know something."

"Be safe," Marin said, the servants murmuring their agreement.

"And you," I replied. I nodded to them all, and then left, anxious to be off. Jasen, one of the male servants, would be driving the carriage. He was the best trained, according to Marin, who wasn't about to take any chances. He helped us into the carriage, and a moment later, we pulled out of the yard, waving goodbye to everyone as we went.

It took over a week to reach Haven. Traveling by carriage was a lot slower than even by horseback, to say nothing of Companion-back.

I missed Landon. I was certain that Elspeth would be too busy to see me upon my arrival, so I intended to drop Lucia off at the nursery to see Kyrah, and then head straight for Companions' Field. The letter I sent on ahead would reach Haven before we did, so I was sure Landon would be waiting for me. Well, I hoped he would. After everything else that had happened, I no longer had the confidence to be sure of anything.

Tears filled my eyes as I thought of Selenay. I still couldn't believe it, and I knew it wouldn't really be real to me until I reached Haven and saw Elspeth. Poor Elspeth! And Talia! And poor Caryo, who I doubted survived the death of her Chosen. And little Kyrah...it would be just as hard for her as well. I was anxious for Lucia to spend time with her and hopefully help her through her sadness.

I shook my head in dismay. The canon was truly obliterated now. I'd hardly had time to ponder the differences since I became a Lady, but with nothing to do now but sit, I felt the full weight of it as I made my way towards Haven. Whatever had happened with Vaneyl way back then had now truly destroyed the way it was supposed to be. I sighed heavily in disgust, and renewed my determination to figure it all out. Someday, I would know. I wouldn't be able to do anything about it, but at least I could curse the blasted fool who caused the changes, whoever he was.

We arrived at the Palace around noon, and were taken immediately to our old suites. There was a note on the table with my name on it, and I picked it up.

Jaelle, I'm glad you're here. According to our Farseers, I expect you'll get in about noon. I have meetings all day, but Kyrah is looking forward to seeing Lucia, and Landon is looking forward to seeing you. I, unfortunately, have to wait until tonight. But if you're not too tired, please come by my suites before you go to bed. Elspeth

Lucia was tugging at my skirts, wanting to go to the nursery. One of the servants who knew us offered to take her, to which I agreed. Once she was gone, I looked about the room. I could unpack, but quickly dismissed that notion. I knew there was no way I could put off seeing Landon another minute. I changed out of my gown into my jeans and t-shirt and sneakers, grabbed my coat, and headed for the Field.

I ducked through the rails, and caught the eye of the first Companion I could find. I didn't even have to say anything before she nudged me with her nose and pointed with it over my shoulder. I turned to see Landon approach at a canter.

The sight of him brought all the emotions of not knowing about Orthallen, and now Selenay's death, to the surface. As soon as he stopped in front of me, I threw my arms around his neck and burst into tears. I was tired of being the strong Lady, and I hadn't realized how much I had missed being able to lean on him.

:Let's go somewhere more private: he suggested, after I'd gotten myself under control, kneeling so that I could mount. We trotted off to a secluded corner of the Field and I slid off his back.

"I want to know everything that happened after you left the House," I stated.

:I made it back to Haven in two days or so: he said. :We decoded the papers and discovered that Ehnley and Orthallen were plotting with Ancar to kill Selenay and Elspeth and then take over the Crown. We're not sure which one of them planned to be king, as the documents didn't really say.: He shook a stray twig out of his mane. :Nestor was providing a cover for them, and we expect that he was being paid handsomely for it.:

Well, that explained the mystery of the gold.

:Selenay immediately sent a Herald to apprehend them both, as the papers stated that Orthallen was living on Ehnley's estates: Landon continued. :This particular Herald was injured in her trip to the estates, so she called on a nearby Herald to take over, who went to the estates and confronted Ehnley under Truth Spell. What the papers said was true, but the Herald didn't know that Orthallen was there. Orthallen and Ehnley attacked him. In the ensuing fight, they were killed, but so was he.: He paused for a moment.

"And then?" I prompted.

:Of course we knew what happened once the Death Bell began to ring, and we thought it was all over: he said. :Later that night, however, a group of assassins stole onto Palace grounds and shot Caryo full of arrows. They would have done the same for Gwena, but we Companions were alerted to them by then, and killed them: he snarled. :We read their minds before they died. They were OutKingdom, sent by Ancar himself through Ehnley and Orthallen.:

I was stunned—shocked—by it all. "They went through Caryo?"

Landon nodded. :It was very clever of them, too. We hadn't even anticipated that.: He switched his tail, a frustrated gesture that matched his tone of voice. :The strange thing is, they knew they were going to die when they agreed to carry out their mission.:

I frowned. "So why did they do it?"

Landon came as close to shrugging as was possible for a Companion. :As near as we can figure from their thoughts, it was the only way they saw to get their families out of poverty.:

I shook my head sadly. "I still can't believe it." I proceeded to tell him what had happened in his absence. "Marin figures that one of them was a mage of some sort, and that the servants' memories returned when he died."

:We found no evidence of magic at Ehnley's estates: Landon said, :but it may have been such a minor Gift that it wouldn't have shown up, especially if it wasn't being exercised regularly.:

"I still can't believe it," I said. I just shook my head sadly and looked at him. "Why didn't you send word to me sooner?"

Landon nudged me with his nose. :Because...Jaelle, there's something else about this you need to know, something we didn't want to convey in a letter.:

His tone had dropped, moving from serious to mournful. It terrified me, and I felt the hair on the back of my neck start to rise in time with the quick beating of my heart. "What is it?"

:The Herald that was killed—: He paused, as though trying to prepare me for what he was about to say.

"No," I declared emphatically, promptly deciding that this was the end of the conversation. Deep in my heart, I knew what was coming next, and I resolved to have none of it. I pointed at him to drive home my determination. "Don't you dare say it." Tears filled my eyes, turning Landon into a large, white, watery blur. I blinked them away and firmly clamped down on the trembling I felt inside. "Don't you dare." I started to walk away.

:It was Treven.: His voice was soft as a whisper.

"No!" I cried, whirling about. "I don't believe you!" I paced back and forth over the same patch of grass, refusing to look at him, refusing to acknowledge what he said. It wasn't possible. He couldn't be dead. Tears filled my eyes again and I angrily brushed them away. "This whole thing is just insane! I go away for a few weeks and all hell breaks loose!" I savagely trudged back and forth and resolutely shook my head. "Treven is fine. He's in the Forest, and he's fine."

Landon was being too silent, however, and I eventually stopped pacing and looked up into his eyes.

And I knew it was true.

I tried to hold back the tears—I was so weary of all the sorrow—but my chest felt like it was going to burst. I gave in, both myself and my tears falling to the ground. Landon knelt down next to me and I buried my face in his mane.

"I want to go home," I sobbed. "I just want to go home." And I didn't mean to my house near Three Rivers.

:I know.:

I wept until my eyes hurt and I couldn't breathe. And then I sat up and blew my nose in my t-shirt. Why couldn't I just wake up and find that this was all just a bad dream? Would that be so bad? Was it so wrong to want a happy ending for once in my adult life? Must it always be marked by the premature death of those I cared about?

The idea of a happy ending—or not—brought a sudden thought to my mind and I turned to Landon.

"Did he—did he suffer?" Just saying the words brought on a fresh round of tears, but I had to know. All the stories of Heraldic deaths from the books were pouring into my mind, and I had to know about Treven's, regardless of the details, or my mind would invariably conjure up the worst, and I'd never have peace.

Landon sighed heavily. :You don't ask the easy ones, do you:

I just looked at him with tear-filled eyes. "I have to know, Landon," I whispered. "Just tell me."

:He wasn't tortured, but...he didn't die right away: Landon confessed. :Althea was able to block most of his pain, however, so it wasn't as bad as it might have been.:

"How do you know?" I asked, blowing my nose again.

:Althea's range of Speech was quite broad. She contacted us—me—when she knew that they wouldn't survive: Landon replied. :She wanted me to tell you something.:

A spark of curiosity helped hold back fresh tears. "What was it?"

:She wanted me to tell you that some of Treven's final thoughts were of you. She said to tell you that he had fallen in love with you.:

"I felt the same," I confessed, unable to do more than whisper for fear my voice would break.

Landon was silent for a long moment. :I know it hurts, Jaelle. We're not supposed to speak of such things, but in what you term my "past life," I lost someone I loved, too.:

I looked up at him, wiping my eyes. "Time heals all wounds." As usual, it sounded trite and stupid, just as it had when little Aaron had died.

:So they say: he said, :It's hard to believe that, however.:

"It's hard to believe anything right now," I confessed.

:I think you should get some sleep: he said after a long moment. :Elspeth and Talia both know that I was going to tell you today, and they've made provision for Lucia to stay with Kyrah all day. So go get some rest and then eat something and have a bath and if you feel up to it later, go see Elspeth. She'll understand if you don't come, however, and is prepared to keep Lucia overnight.:

I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck once more. "I'm glad it was you who told me, and not some stranger."

:Me, too: he said.

I released him and rose on shaky legs. He brought me back to the Palace, almost right to its door. I dismounted and hugged him again, and then went inside to take a nap.

I woke several hours later to the most delicious smell. I sat up and looked across the room to find a tray sitting on the table. I didn't know how I could be hungry under the circumstances, but apparently my stomach wasn't communicating with my heart. I rolled off the bed and moved across the room to find a large, steaming bowl of chicken soup, some bread, a piece of berry pie, and pitchers of milk and water on the tray. It didn't take me long to eat every last bite. I felt a twinge of guilt, as though my body were betraying me by not acknowledging the sorrow I felt with a lack of hunger. Treven's face floated before my eyes. How could he be gone?

I felt better, however, for having eaten something, and once I took a bath, I started to feel human again, more in touch with myself.

I left my suites and headed for Elspeth's. For a moment, I wasn't sure where to go, but I then realized that she probably had moved into Selenay's old suites. I wove my way through the familiar corridors to the equally-familiar destination. Tears filled my eyes as I walked and I tried to force them back. Elspeth had probably had all she could handle of emotional people, and I didn't need to add to it. She deserved a sane visit from me, not an emotional overload.

The guards opened the doors of the suites, and I entered to see both Elspeth and Talia seated there. At the sight of them, my rebellious eyes filled with new tears.

At that moment, Lucia and Kyrah dashed into the room, giggling. Oh, to be four years old again! There was something to be said for having a good friend around to make you laugh again, even in the midst of the worst pain. Upon seeing me, Lucia ran towards me and threw herself in my arms. The distraction was enough to force back my tears and plant a smile on my face.

"Mama," she cried, "do you want to see what me and Kyrah made?"

It was not a distraction, however, that I could indulge. "In a moment, sweetie. I need to talk to Elspeth and Talia for a bit."

"Okay," she said, getting down. "Come on, Kyrah! Let's fix it up some more!" With that the two girls dashed out of the room as quickly as they'd entered.

Once they were gone, both Elspeth and Talia rose, and my eyes filled with tears once more.

"It's good to see you again, Jaelle," Elspeth said.

I opened my mouth to answer, but no sound was forthcoming, blocked by all the emotion that seemed to be building up within me. I merely nodded instead, and tried desperately not to break down.

But they both came over, and Talia, with her Empathy, put her arms around me. "Don't try fighting it," she whispered. "It will only make it worse."

One sob, and then two, escaped from my lips. I felt Elspeth's arms go around me as well, and I lost it completely. By the time I regained control, I think I had thoroughly soaked their Whites. We sat down together on the couch, and Talia handed me a handkerchief.

"I'm so sorry about Selenay," I said. "I just can't believe it."

"I know," Elspeth replied. "It's only now beginning to seem real to me."

I looked at her—really looked at her—for the first time. There were lines on her face I hadn't noticed before. "You look exhausted," I said. I looked at Talia as well. "So do you."

Talia favored me with a tired smile. "It's been a difficult time," she said. "Planning a coronation is hard enough, but on the heels of a funeral—Selenay's funeral—it's been hellish for all of us."

"But you," said Elspeth, "how are you? Gwena tells me that Landon has told you of Treven."

I nodded. "I don't know which news shocked me more." I wiped back more tears. "I must confess, I was falling in love with him, and according to Landon, he felt the same."

Talia sighed. "I'm so sorry, Jaelle."

"It could have been worse," I stated, trying to bring some rationality to the whole disaster. "I could have been lifebonded like the two of you are. At least Lucia gets to keep her mother."

"True," Elspeth replied, "but still painful nonetheless." She rose from her seat and went over to the desk. "I have something for you." She brought back a small silk bag, closed by a drawstring, and handed it to me.

"What is it?" I asked, taking it from her.

"It's a letter," she replied. "To you from Treven."

I could stare at her, and then Talia, my face an entire question mark.

Elspeth sighed softly and favored me with a sympathetic glance. "Treven had it on his person when he died. His family found it before they buried him and sent it here, asking that we send it on to you."

"Thank you," I whispered. I ran my fingers over the silk, feeling the paper within the bag, and feeling my heart beat swiftly. I looked back up at the two women. "So Treven is buried at his family's place?"

Elspeth nodded. "Yes. They requested it, and we saw no need to deny them their wish." She glanced at the bag, and then back at me. "Their letter to us contained a rather wistful comment that they'd like to meet you someday."

I could only nod, fearful of breaking down again. I set the silk bag aside, unable to read the letter right then. I think they must have sensed this, for Talia changed the subject.

"So what is this about Lucia hearing people's thoughts?" she asked.

I smiled my thanks at having something else to consider, and proceeded to tell them about her experiences. "I'm not really sure what to do about it," I said, "but she needs some training, I think."

Both Talia and Elspeth were nodding thoughtfully. "I can take a look at her, if you'd like."

"I'd be most grateful," I said. "I have no experience with such things."

"Of course," she replied smoothly, and she called out to Lucia, who came out immediately. "Lucia, sweet," she said, holding her hand out for her, "will you come here?"

Lucia promptly obeyed.

Talia took her on her lap. "You mother tells me you can hear people's thoughts. Is that true?"

Lucia nodded. "But only when they're loud."

Talia's glance flickered over to me in a question, and I just shrugged my ignorance. She looked back at Lucia. "I'm going to make you head feel funny for a minute," she told my daughter. "We need to see if you need training for this."

"Am I going to be a Herald?" Lucia asked. "Mama said I might be Chosen!"

:If she stays as sweet as she is now, I strongly suspect she will be: Landon interjected, and I reported his comments.

Talia smiled and brushed a stray hair out of Lucia's face. "You might very well be Chosen, sweetling," she said, "but remember, it takes more than a Gift to get Chosen. You need to develop good character as well."

Lucia nodded solemnly, though I wasn't sure if she understood. In any case, she sat very still while Talia, I presume, checked her Gifts.

A moment later, Talia came out of her trance-like state, and smiled at Lucia. "That's it, sweet. You can go play again." Lucia got down and ran into the back room as though nothing unusual had just happened.

"So?" I asked, once she was out of earshot.

"Well," Talia said, looking at both me and Elspeth, "she certainly is Gifted."

"Oh?" Elspeth asked.

Talia nodded. "I'm surprised her Gifts are opening so soon, however."

"Gifts?" I asked. "She has more than one?"

"Most Gifted people have more than one Gift. They rarely show up alone. Right now, she has two," Talia replied. "Mindhearing and Empathy."

"Empathy?" I asked. I shifted to a more comfortable position on the couch. "She didn't say anything about feelings."

"She probably doesn't understand," Elspeth said.

"I'm sure that's it," Talia stated. "And it's probably what she means when she says she can hear 'loud' thoughts."

"Now I don't think I understand!" I said with a laugh.

Talia smiled back. "Her Gifts are just beginning to open, so they're something like a trickle instead of a full stream. Therefore, she can't hear thoughts all the time, nor experience Empathy all the time," she explained. "From what I can tell, she can only hear thoughts when the person thinking is in a strong emotional state as well."

"Ah," I replied. "I see." That actually made a lot of sense, looking back on her experiences. "How long will this phase last?"

"I don't know," Talia said, shaking her head. "It could be months, or even years. It's hard to say in such an unusual case."

"But she needs training," I said.

"Oh, most definitely," Talia replied. "We can teach her some basics even now that will help her."

"You said she had two Gifts right now," Elspeth said. "What else did you see?"

Talia looked at me with an apologetic expression in her eyes. "You may want to prepare her for the possibility that she won't be Chosen," she said. "She has an unopened Gift of Healing as well."

"Oh, no," I breathed. "She'll be so disappointed. She has her heart set on being a Herald."

"I won't say that she won't be Chosen," Talia said. "After all, I have Empathy and Mindhealing, but Companions don't usually Choose those with Healing Gifts, as they're needed too much as Healers."

I sighed heavily. "What's the likelihood of her Healing Gift not opening?"

Talia and Elspeth exchanged looks. "Well," Elspeth said, looking at me, "there are plenty of people who have potential that never develops, but..." she trailed off with a dubious tone.

"It isn't likely," Talia finished. "Not with her other Gifts opening up at such a young age."

I shook my head. "I know I should be proud," I confessed, "but I don't know how to tell her. She'll be heartbroken."

"Can I give you some advice?" Elspeth asked.

"Of course!" I exclaimed.

"Don't tell her, yet," she replied. "Wait. Several years, in fact."

"It might even be a good idea for you to 'visit' Houses of Healing whenever you can," Talia suggested, "especially if you think her Gift of Healing has opened. Those with Healing Gifts tend to be drawn to those who need Healing, and that might make it easier for her to let go of her dream of being Chosen, if that's not the path she's going to take."

"Of course," Elspeth said, "it may also be that her Healing Gift is just a minor one, leaving her open to Choosing." She shrugged. "It's just too soon to say."

I nodded thoughtfully, taking all the information and suggestions to heart. "So," I asked, "have you finalized all the details for the Coronation?"

Talia groaned and Elspeth just rolled her eyes. "I'll be so glad when this damned thing is over," Elspeth said. "I thought being named Heir was complicated enough. This is positively maddening!"

"Let's just say that it will take place in two days," Talia said, "whether we're ready or not."

"And to the lowest hell with the delicate senses of the nobility!" Elspeth exclaimed.

I just raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

Don't ask, Talia mouthed silently, and I had to hide a smile.

I told Talia and Elspeth of the blood-money I had found at the House. I offered to give it to the Crown, but not only did Elspeth refuse to accept it, she insisted that I be given the price that was on Orthallen's head, as I had been the one who had discovered the whole plot to begin with.

I didn't want it. I didn't want to be reminded of that man, and I told them so. If they must give away their coin, I told them, they could give it to the poorhouses that take in orphans. Or to repair the Waystations. Or even to Treven's family. Someplace useful, and any place but my pocket. I determined at that moment to put Nestor's money to good use as well. The three men may have intended that gold to be used for some evil, but I wanted—needed—to see something good come out of this whole nightmare.

It was quite some time later before Lucia and I returned to our suites. The girls had constructed their own palace of gowns, pillows, chairs and anything else that was movable. They were inordinately proud of it, and wanted to spend the night in it. After getting over the initial shock of seeing the entire suite creatively destroyed, and then seeing the look of horror on Elspeth's face, I immediately vetoed Lucia's request to spend the night. As exhausted as Elspeth was, she did not need this right now. I even offered to take Kyrah back with me, but Talia overruled me, claiming that she was the least exhausted of the three of us (and had the Empathy to prove it), and took Kyrah back to her suites so that Kris—who had been holed up in an irritating Council meeting that Elspeth had finally just walked out on—and Elspeth could have at least one night of peace before the big day.

Back in our suites, with a head-splitting yawn, Lucia toddled off to bed. I sat down on the couch and held the small silk bag in my hands, staring at it. I was tired, but I knew I would only toss and turn if I went to bed without reading Treven's letter. Besides, I had learned to face things square-on, and not delay the inevitable, and it was hard to go against that training.

Slowly, I untied the drawstring and opened the bag. I reached in and drew out a very stiff, folded piece of parchment. I could only stare at it with a slight sense of nausea. Most of the parchment was stained a dark red, and the letter was crumpled and torn. I realized that it had been liberally splashed with Treven's blood, and felt my heart lurch, beating fast.

I opened the letter, and tried to smooth out the wrinkles as best I could. It was hard to read his writing where the parchment was stained, but I drew a candle closer and held the letter up to the light.

Dearest Jaelle, it began, and, seeing Treven's handwriting, tears filled my eyes. I've written this letter about a dozen times, and I still can't seem to get it right. But Althea is threatening to repudiate me if I don't finish it and send it off.

I felt a smile creep across my face, in spite of my sorrow. I could almost see him and Althea at that moment, sitting in a Waystation, arguing over the letter.

I wish I had the Gift of Empathy, he continued. It would make things so much easier—and so much less frightening—

"There's nothing to be afraid of," I whispered, as though Treven could hear me. I couldn't stop my tears, and had to put the letter down and retrieve a handkerchief. Once I could see again, I took it back up.

Surely you know that I love you, he wrote, just as I know you love me. Althea says I'm presumptuous, but I trust that you will soon tell me that I am not, dearest J—

The letter ended there, the rest of the words torn away and presumably destroyed.

A tear slipped past the handkerchief and splashed on the page. I brushed it away with my thumb, and glanced down to see traces of ink and blood on my skin. Suddenly, his loss seemed overwhelmingly real. I curled up on the couch and wept without restraint. I wanted him back, more than I had ever wanted anything in a long time.

"Mama?"

I lifted my head to see Lucia there, a painful expression on her face. I remembered her Gift of Empathy and quickly sat up, brushing my tears away and forcing my sorrow down as best I could. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," I said.

Without a word, she crawled up in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I miss him, too," she whispered.

I said nothing. I merely rocked her until we both fell asleep.

The next morning found me at the salle. In my desire to see Landon and Elspeth, I had forgotten all about Alberich. I was sure, however, that he would want—even expect—me to visit him, if for nothing else than to determine how well I was progressing under Marin's tutelage. A class was just breaking up, and I waited outside until the students had dispersed. Treven's loss was fresh in my heart, and watching all the people around me, it seemed so strange and unfair that life just went on as though nothing had happened.

I was familiar with the feeling, however. It was common enough after the death of a loved one, and I knew from experience that it would pass in a few days. Still, it was real enough at that moment, and I felt the sorrow swell once more inside me.

Once everyone had gone, I went inside to find Alberich cleaning up and preparing for his next class. He looked up as I came in.

"Told you had returned, I was," he said.

I only nodded and sat down on a nearby bench. He looked at me for a moment, put his sword aside, and then came and sat down beside me.

"No more disturbance from you do I feel. 'Good for Valdemar you have been, and will be,'" he said quietly, recalling to mind the first time he had spoken those words to me. "Remember you this?"

I nodded. "You said that to me the first day we met."

"True, it was."

"But at what cost?" I asked softly. "Selenay is dead." And Treven—

"Herald Treven as well," Alberich replied, echoing my thought. "But Gwena, Elspeth—alive they are, and prepared we are now for Ancar."

I said nothing. What was there to say? It did nothing to bring back the dead. I looked at him. "I should go. You have a class."

He half-smiled. "My class, you are."

I just stared at him. I was his class? "But—how—?" He didn't know I was coming!

"Kantor."

I just sighed and rolled my eyes. "Do thank him for me," I said. "But I don't think—"

But Alberich just stood up and crossed the salle towards the practice weapons. "No choice have you," he said, interrupting me. "Marin's work, I would see."

I sighed in defeat and stood. Arguing would be pointless, and I wasn't wearing a gown to excuse myself. Not that that would have worked. He probably would have had me fight him anyway.

Without a word, Alberich handed me a practice sword. I had written to him after Marin had arrived to update him on my work, and had mentioned that I was being trained in sword, dagger, and bow, along with hand-to-hand. Sword was my weakest weapon. It figured that he would choose that one.

He then took his own sword and stood opposite me. "Guard."

We started practicing, but my mind wasn't really on the work. I was still mentally sitting down on the bench, contemplating the past few weeks.

Alberich came at me in basic, classic moves that he correctly anticipated that I would know how to counter. Marin was not recommended by him for no reason.

"Attack," he commanded, and our positions reversed. I came at him with all the knowledge that I possessed. He easily countered every move.

And then something happened...something I can't really describe, except to say that I suddenly found an outlet for all the anger and sorrow I had. Alberich ceased to be a teacher. Instead, he became Ehnley and Nestor and Orthallen, and the assassins all rolled into one, and I attacked them with every ounce of passion I had inside of me. I pounded on them, wanting to exact my pound of flesh from each of them for what they had done. I could finally understand that scene from the books where Talia attacked Alberich in practice because of all her frustration with Elspeth.

I didn't realize I was crying until it finally occurred to me that I couldn't see him anymore—or at least, see him clearly. I stopped, panting, and wiped my face on my sleeve. The moment was over, and I was more than a little embarrassed.

But Alberich said nothing. I had expected him to rebuke me as he had Talia, but no words were forthcoming. He merely took my sword from me, and put both mine and his away. I realized then that he could so easily have "killed" me a dozen times over, but instead he did nothing, letting me pound away at him like so much meat.

"Thank you," I said softly. While I couldn't trample Treven's and Selenay's killers into the ground the way 'Fandes had done to Vanyel's attacker, somehow, beating against something seemed more beneficial to my soul than all the impotent tears I had shed.

Alberich's eyes spoke volumes of understanding to me. Once more, I kissed his cheek, and returned to the Palace.

I managed to get through the entire Coronation and Fealty Ceremony without shedding a tear.