Hmmm… What to do.
Well, we spend a good chunk of the night up thinking about that. Ron's over his P'Od and back to thinking how to get her out of trouble.
Mama Shego ain't. If she gets off too easily, then the only lesson that will stick is she lied to all concerned and didn't pay for it.
Not a good idea.
On the other hand, Ron's right, this isn't anything we didn't do, she did call us when it counted and Kim's parents were way too anal with that entire months grounding.
And I hate the term grounding, anyway.
Well, the next morning, Ann's at the table, eating. Well pecking at her food, between terrified/why aren't you getting it over with looks. Ron and I finish our breakfast, wait until the rest of the kids are out of the room….and then ask Ann what shall we do?
I love that question. You see, it's beautiful, as the kid first thinks that she can get out for free, then realizes that if she says that she'll get in more trouble, then tries to figure a way to split the difference.
Ummm…
Yes, the teen age code word for: you &(! Give me a minute to think!
We wait. She comes up with… a month of no dates and home restriction?
mmmm… Good try, Ann, but having you underfoot getting morose isn't something I want…so I give her my plan.
Well, our plan, since Ron came up with a few of the more… interesting aspects.
She waits.
Well, first she gets to go apologize to Uncle Tim. She lied to him as well. Then she gets to apologize to her brother. She also gets to apologize to Aunt Kim and Aunt Bonnie, because they had to burn some favors over this. (they would have had to anyway…but hey, they might not have felt the need if Ann hadn't been involved). She bites her lip at that one. Ann still loves those two, especially Bonnie, and the idea of having to apologize to them and admit that she's screwed up… oh yeah, kid.
But as for punishment… We both smile at her, and tell her why no…we're far too advanced for that… but she does need a little more work… like grouting Uncle Tim's bathroom… and helping Aunt Bonnie and Kim redo their yard, and by the way, the people where there was the party have a yard that needs to be fixed up… oh, not the main house—those kids are having their own problems…we're talking about the neighbors.
Grounding? Why no! Of course, given the amount of work everyone's though up, you won't be having any time to do anything for the next several weeks at best…and if, when you're in the sun, doing this, you consider that maybe lying to mom and dad wasn't the best of ideas…
Well, that's an added bonus, now, isn't it?
And it also may make Ann's life easier at school. She probably hasn't thought of it, but keeping her in the public eye working will make it hard for any rumors that mom's cutting her a break to get rooted. As it is, this Monday, people want me to have a big "no to booze" assembly.
Right… like that's ever done anything. The ones who aren't drinkers will wonder, and the ones who are drinkers will bask in their notoriety.
Nope. First thing I do is get on the phone and start calling, as well as sending out emails. Every parent needs to know that I am NOT accepting excuses for this Monday. Unless your kid is in the hospital, he shows up. Headache or not. Hung over or not. (Not that many should be that hung over after a full day). Teachers are not to cut any slack—any slack at all.
Guess what kiddies, if I get boozed up, I'm still expected to show up to work on Monday—you are as well. If you desperately want to crawl under a rock at 12:00, when you realize you still have hours to go, I'm doing my job.
I also have to get more observation going—granted most of them will probably never drink like this again, but some will discover they like it—or at least like it better than living the way they are. So I want all the teachers to be on watch, as well as the counselors. Anyone starts to fall apart, we jump on it and get them in an intervention—a small group intervention so they can't hide in plain sight like they always do in a big assembly.
Don't worry Ann—you aren't the only one who's going to be putting in extra hours over this. Oh, that's right—I have to let Tim know that there is to be no technological help on this one—just the most primal combination of a girl, a bathroom and a lot of work grouting.
Well, Ann handles it—very well I might add. Maybe the joy of missing the bullet is still living in her head, but she does the work, without complaint and as quickly as she can.
She's a good kid…just not boring.
Thank God. All our kids are, well… energetic. For all it can tire me and Ron out, I think we're both happy we didn't give birth to perfectly well behaved non-entities.
Oh, and David has cured my fear. Remember? The one about him maybe being a little too, ah, scholarly?
He has a girl friend.
Uh-huh, a sweet nice girl with bobbed hair—kinda looks like Velma from that old cartoon show with the dog.
A very cute Velma, with a figure you wouldn't believe, which has other guys wondering why they missed her.
Because you were all looking for the show off's, morons. David wasn't. He was also someone she liked—being that they share the same interests… math, science, mad science,Biology101 of each other… making out when mom and dad aren't around…
OK, he got that from Ron…I'd probably be looking for some of the show offs at his age—more correctly, I was one of the show offs.
Ron's easier with that than he is with Ann's boyfriends. He's not…. Ok, he is. Ron's in that over protective daddy phase. I point out that's a sign of age. He frowns and points out he's not getting older, he's getting better. I wait until he's drinking to mention that Ann wants to spend the night with her newest boyfriend, Reginald.
He chokes.
Getting better, uhuh. Getting more paranoid, in my book.
Of course, we're both getting older—you can tell that when your kids manage to completely confuse you.
See, it's the new slang.
We can understand it.
Why?
Because for some reason beyond sanity, the thing to do today, is to have a slang that you now say everything literally as you intend it. "Cool" means, "below normal temperature" and nothing else.
Yeah, It's a slang devoted to being understandable…ok, well, some of the ways they have of saying things are still confusing, but it is weird.
See what I mean about getting old? Of course, Ron and I have to try and imitate it to mortify our children. I'm even going to have a book printed with the cover title: Slang to English Dictionary, and make a production out of using it the next time Ann or David bring a SO home.
No need to thank me. It's one of the things parents do out of the love of their children.
But Ann survives her little…punishment, as do the kids at school. Having Ann to thank for that as well, I guess—there isn't much more humiliating scene than being made to churf or "vomit forcefully" (as the current slang would say) by Shego and Ron—especially when you see her first thing in the morning at school.
Oh, by the way, for all you doubting Thomases…and Shego Stoppable in particular who got angry at Ron for telling her it, Ann is a member of the cheerleading team, and will probably make captain next semester.
Just in time for mama Shego to face her greatest Challenge.
Her fortieth birthday.
To be concluded.