10. One Down
"If you stopped being nervous and meditated, you wouldn't be vomiting as much." Juhani placed a hand on Bastila's back. Bastila was as pale as her white wedding gown.
"I'm telling you, it's because she's pregnant." Mission said, nonchalantly. "I've been around plenty of pregnant girls, I should know."
"I can't be—" Bastila trailed off.
"Don't you guys have some sort of Force pregnancy test?" Mission asked, frustrated. I laughed.
"Not really that I know of, which isn't saying much." I smiled. "Just keep breathing, Bastila. You'll make it okay." I handed her a pill to soothe her stomach and a mint for her breath, making a mental note to make sure I got a birth control shot. Juhani adjusted Bastila's hair, which was pulled up in a crown much like it had been the night of the party. Juhani wove strings of pearls through Bastila's soft brown hair. I took out some ceremonial makeup and did my best to make Bastila look passable. Mandalorians don't want their women to look like frilly dolls; they want them to look vigorous and lively, which was a problem, because Bastila felt more like a doll, I could kind of feel it. I smiled warmly. "You can do this." Mission saw me with the makeup and stole it. I made sure her dress looked good.
"I feel sick." Bastila sighed.
"After the ceremony, you're Canderous' problem." Mission tried reassuring Bastila. "I think that came out wrong. I meant he'll take good care of you." I didn't laugh because I thought Bastila would kill me, but I made a mental note to tell her later how funny she looked after Mission's comment.
"Ms. Shan? Are you ready?" A voice came from the door. Bastila took a deep breath and looked at herself in the mirror.
"I can't believe it—" She gasped at herself. "I'm getting married." Her eyes welled up with tears.
"You look beautiful." I smiled, finding it difficult to hold back my own tears. In a trance, she walked toward the door. I couldn't figure out how she went from puking to serenity in half a second. The Bastila that Jolee escorted to Canderous that morning was one I had only seen in her imagination: calm, cool, and collected. She kept her cool through the ceremony, even though I couldn't. I sobbed toward the end. I never knew I was so damn emotional. Canderous was wearing what looked like a dress uniform, but wasn't Mandalorian. It looked more like Carth's. It was funny how these things turned out.
"You two think you're like night and day!" I scoffed at Carth and Canderous aboard the Ebon Hawk after their tiff on Dantooine. "You share more than initials, you know?"
"They're yours too." Carth retorted. "Good thing we don't have monogrammed luggage or I might get stuck with your ratty underwear."
"That's beside the point. I'm going to prove that you're more alike than you think. See, Mr. Ordo here has nice tan pants, but he has his holsters nice and visible to accentuate," I pointed, "his prized rear end." Mission giggled. Bastila tried to hide her amusement and the fact that she had an excuse to look at Canderous' butt. I even thought I heard Carth snicker.
"Oh, do me next." Carth rolled his eyes. I turned him around somewhat forcibly, trying to ignore the fluttery feeling I got.
"You don't have to ask me twice. Mr. Onasi uses reverse psychology. You see, his jacket is so hideous that it plagues the eyes, forcing one to either focus on his face or his far more interesting ass." I smacked his butt as hard as I could.
I sighed, remembering the good times smacking Carth's ass aboard the Ebon Hawk. I couldn't even bring myself to touch Canderous' butt, even with his holsters making an "X" to mark the spot. I focused my attention back on the ceremony. Bastila and Canderous were exchanging vows. It was so bizarre to see them so mushy.
"I, Canderous of clan Ordo, do solemnly swear to love, honor and protect Bastila as long as we both live."
"I, Bastila Shan, do solemnly swear to love, honor, and protect Canderous as long as we both live." I wondered what had happened to "as long as I can stand him."
"Don't look now." Carth warned. Of course, I looked. Bastila tilted her head slightly upwards, kissing Canderous with a passion that I'd rarely seen in her, aside from the dream. Seeing them kiss wasn't as weird as I thought it would have been. Bastila was only slightly shorter than Canderous, who towered over me. My idle mind began to go off on another tangent.
"You think I can't take a little mushy stuff?" I mocked Carth. "You underestimate me."
"I keep forgetting you have pornographic dreams about those two." Carth smiled.
"They aren't pornographic." I retorted, not wanting to talk about Bastila's sex life. "Am I short?"
"Yes." Carth was confused. "Why? Is this news to you?"
"Yes it is." I hissed. "I just realized that Bastila is almost as tall as Canderous and he's so much taller than I am." Carth laughed softly. Bastila smiled at us as she and Canderous retreated down the aisle to dinner. Canderous winked hard at Carth, who chuckled good-naturedly. We were soon dismissed from our seats and ushered toward the dining hall. "Don't you remember that I smacked your butt and didn't touch Canderous'?" I asked Carth after the ceremony.
"Yeah, and it made sense then." He said, after a moment of thinking. "I forget how, something about pent-up anger probably."
"Or you didn't want to get your hopes up." I teased. "That and I'm a pain in the ass?"
"Right. What made you remember that?"
"I don't know, it just kind of came and I had to laugh." I reminisced. "Those were good times. I'm glad we're all sticking together. It'll never be the same, but at least we've got a good group to have fun with."
"Damn, woman, I can't follow your train of thought half the time." Carth shook his head. "How did you go from smacking my butt to being short?"
"Well, I was just thinking about how Canderous' uniform was like yours, which made me remember…"
"Never mind." He laughed again. "Let's eat." Dinner was wonderful, as was to be expected. It was wonderful to share good times and good food with my friends. Canderous was on his best behavior, which meant he drank only very little. Bastila's mother was barely well enough to attend the ceremony. She was crying pretty hard at the ceremony, but regained her composure at the dinner afterward.
"It's wonderful to see you again, Helena." I said politely.
"Thank you again for reconciling Bastila and me." She smiled weakly. I nodded graciously, at a loss for words. "I can't believe my little girl is married, to a Mandalorian, no less!"
"It's a bit of a surprise for most of us." Carth said. It was weird that he was automatically invited to conversations I was in by virtue of the ring I wore. We were officially a couple, which was still a new concept to me. "We never saw it coming."
"I'll never understand that girl." Helena laughed weakly. "I just hope I have a chance to congratulate her."
"You haven't congratulated her?" I asked, shocked. "Come with me." I took her arm and made a beeline for Bastila. "Move out of the way!" I called. "Mother of the bride coming through!" People always gave me the weirdest looks, and now was no exception. Canderous didn't laugh, just smiled at me bemusedly. I dragged Helena across the large, dimly lit room to where Bastila was staring. I was a meter away from Bastila, my head turned around as I told Helena that she had to greet her daughter, when I ran into a pole, smacking my head pretty hard. Laughter rang out. I put a hand to my forehead and dusted off my dress as though it were a reflex, looking sheepishly at Bastila and her mother. "I was just trying to help." I offered, then walked back across the room. Carth was trying not to laugh until he got my official reaction. I was embarrassed, sure, but I could tell Carth would explode if he didn't laugh, so I laughed nervously. Sure enough, he laughed. I tried to keep laughing, but my head hurt.
"Are you all right, beautiful?" He asked, still laughing a bit.
"I think I'll be fine." I hoped I didn't get a lump on my head for this. That would be embarrassing. "I didn't see it."
"If you had and still run into it, I'd be dealing with more than a woman with a bump on her head."
"Of all stupid things to do…" I started. "Is there ice anywhere?" Carth couldn't help but laugh at the ice comment. I didn't get what was so funny. "What? I could use some ice!"
"Grace could use some ice for her head." Carth grinned at a bartender, who handed him a bag of ice.
"Stuff it." I glared at him through my fingers. "Just give me the damn bag of ice." I snatched it. "Thanks for nothing."
"Hey, I didn't mean to make you mad." He pleaded. I pretended the ice pack was covering my eyes so I wouldn't be affected by him. "I just thought it was funny that the savior of the galaxy ran into a pole in front of tons of people."
"You forgot that it was at Bastila's wedding." I corrected testily. "Get all the details right for the history books."
"I didn't mean—"
"Well it came out that way. Are you going to ask if I need my head checked? I wouldn't put it past you, you insensitive Hutt-spawn. And since when was grace part of the job description for savior of the galaxy?" He was silent. Damn, I'd hurt his feelings. I was in no mood to apologize.
"Do you want anything else?" He asked tentatively. "A drink or some food?"
"I'm okay, thanks." I managed a small smile. "Don't be mad at me. I've got a planetoid growing on my head."
"I suppose so." He sounded resigned. "Try not to yell at me next time, okay?"
"Next time?" I demanded, more playfully. "Are you saying this will happen again?"
"No," Carth said slowly, "you'll never run into a pole again, well, not here anyway. Probably not on Alderaan, in any case. And definitely not again and Bastila's and Canderous' wedding."
"You should be careful," I warned. "I could bite your arms and legs off and beat you to death with them."
"I don't think that's how the saying goes."
"It's called poetic license." I rolled my eyes. "You never know if I was in a mood to take your teasing."
"I can tell when you are."
"It's not foolproof. You just ticked me off pretty bad. I think the pain lowered my teasing tolerance."
"That makes me a fool, then." He put an arm around me. "Let me see." He lifted the icepack off my head. "It's not a planetoid. An asteroid, maybe." He winked. I couldn't help smiling at him. He softly kissed my freezing bump. "So, what did you think of the ceremony?" He asked, taking on an air of politeness and decorum. I improved my posture. I still couldn't believe that I was short.
"I thought that you'd never ask." I smiled. He expected me to go on.
"Oh…" He slowly realized what I'd meant. "I wasn't saying we should get married now…"
"Right." I grinned. "I know you're antsy."
"Well it's almost ready." He countered, matching my argumentative mood.
"You make it sound like we're having a wedding for dinner." I teased.
"How do you know we're not?" He raised an eyebrow. It was hard to argue with him when he was making cute faces at me, but I'd done it for so long…
"The Force." I raised my eyebrows to match his.
"Liar." He laughed.
"I learned from you."
"No you didn't." He smiled. "I tell you the truth."
"Unless you say 'that's the end of my evil plan.'"
"How about tomorrow? Is tomorrow good for you?" He asked, slightly mockingly.
"I don't know if I can fit it in between tormenting you and finding you an uglier jacket."
"Too bad, it's booked." Carth said firmly.
"I told you it wasn't for dinner." My favorite way to win arguments was to get him to admit he was wrong.
"Dammit." He sighed. "You win."
"The consolation prize is pretty good, I hear…" I kissed him.
"I should lose more often." He grinned. "Let's go congratulate the Ordos and wish them many strong babies."
"You're not serious about the wedding tomorrow, are you?" I asked.
"Nope." Carth admitted. "But it will be soon. I'm making arrangements. Now let's see if you can navigate the crowd more gracefully this time."
"Do you want to 'accidentally' run into a pole? I could arrange that."
"I'd rather not."
"Ciara! You made it up here in one piece this time!" Canderous laughed.
"Shut up." I gritted my teeth.
"Your clumsiness is part of your charm." Bastila smiled.
"Can we drop it?" I asked.
"We just wanted to wish you many strong babies." Carth interjected before Canderous could say anything more about my clumsiness.
"Any baby of mine will be holding a blaster before it can walk!" Canderous insisted. Bastila looked a little scared at the idea of having a blaster-wielding baby.
"Why thank you." Bastila was dying to change the subject. "Do you two have a date yet?"
"Don't worry about us." I said. "It's your wedding, not a planning session for mine. Trust me, you'll hear about when it is." Carth looked at me.
"Don't ask her," he clarified. "She doesn't know a darned thing about it." The look of fear transferred from Bastila's face to mine.
(standard disclaimer goes here...) Thanks to all reviewers! You're too kind...