Emma came stomping into the seventh year room a few days later, slamming the door behind her. "I hate Sirius Black!" she screamed loudly.

I jumped off of my bed. It was time for the usual Sirius Black rant from Emma and the calm down talk from me and sometimes Belle. Too bad Maddy wasn't around, she was so much better at this.

Emmaline Vance and Sirius Black have always been adversaries. He claimed he cared for her, but always said in a joking manner, and she claimed she hated him to the depths of her soul. That's how the school saw them. Sirius Black, gorgeous and funny, Emmaline Vance, his beautiful enemy. He was constantly trying to win her over, and she was forever rejecting him. I think they may have been worse than James and me, if that's possible. Because there was something about their situation that wasn't like James and myself. She was in love with him right back. But she would die before she admitted it then.

He never outright said he loved her either, mind you. But I'm observer. I notice people, I notice things, I stay quiet and pay attention, sometimes. And it's fairly obvious, to me, that Sirius was in love with her, and she him. But she was afraid, which was why she never gave him a chance. Why she was in constant denial that she cared for him. Because Sirius Black was a ladies man, and she was terrified to be hurt. Sirius went through women like he went through candy. I always knew if they got together, they'd stay that way. Sirius wouldn't get bored with her. But I was the only one who saw this, including Sirius himself. I think perhaps that's why he never really asked her out for a date. He tried to win her heart, yes, and did it eventually, but he never just outright asked, like James did.

That's how they differed. Sirius was wooing her through his wit and light humour and banter at her, while James never even tried. I suppose he just figured if he asked me out enough I'd crack and say yes just to get him to stop. But I was extremely stubborn, and I took my feelings tremendously seriously, which was why I never said yes all those years. It was personally insulting for him to keep asking me when he didn't care for me, or me for him. That's probably why I hated him. It was like a blow to my whole being for someone to treat my feelings and their feelings towards me so easily and lightly.

Some might say that's incredibly silly. I was a teenager, and many feelings are taken lightly during that period of life. Some may say they're supposed to. But that has always been my outlook on emotions. That they should be taken seriously. Because every feeling, every emotion, is caused by something. And if you're feeling something, then it's important, no matter what age you are.

"What did he do this time, Em?" I asked patiently.

"Oh, he was just being his usual idiot self." she grumbled, tossing a pile of clothes off of her bed and throwing herself onto it. "I think I need food." she sighed.

"Food sounds good." Belle said lightly, coming out of the bathroom, shaking her hair in a towel. "We can pig out and make you feel better."

"I'll go get it." I offered. I walked down the stairs and into the common room. Sirius was sitting grumpily in a chair, his arms crossed.

"Padfoot, what did you do to her this time?" Peter asked, Remus next to him on the couch and James in a high backed chair near him.

"Nothing." he said moodily.

Remus arched his eyebrows. "Right, of course you didn't."

"I didn't! I made some comment and she completely freaked out at me!"

"Well then maybe you should watch what you say to her."

"James, coming from you, that's extremely funny." Remus told him. James huffed and sat back, while Remus smiled playfully.

I walked quietly out the portrait hole and down to the kitchens, where I tickled the pear and many house elves ran up to me to serve. Emma found the kitchens last year and had informed us of where they were. We'd been there a few times, and the trips seemed to be getting more frequent. I politely requested some goodies, most of them chocolate, and headed back up rather speedily, because while it wasn't curfew yet, I'd rather not cross anyone.

I arrived back in the quiet common room to notice that the Marauders must have gone up their dorm room, and I trooped back to my own, dumping the assorted treats onto my bed. Emma launched at me and grabbed a few, settling herself back on her own bed.

After we all spent a night in both light and deep conversation, we fell asleep so we'd at least get a few hours before trudging to classes.

In Transfiguration that day we were practicing new material, and I glared at James when he succeeded in turning his quill into a badger before I did.

After this irritating defeat, I proceeded to the common room as the bell signaled the end of classes, in a rather bad mood. I stopped to yell at some second year girls doing a makeup potion in the bathroom, and by this time, no one else was left on the fourth floor. I walked quickly, my robes billowing and my face set, when I heard my name being called.

I whipped around, and found myself in the company of someone almost as unwelcome as James. Severus Snape.

"Lily, could I speak to you?" he asked, pleadingly.

"No, I really don't think so." I gave him the infamous Lily Evans Glare, the one that scared even James Potter, but Severus plowed ahead despite it, relentless to speak.

"I'm horribly sorry."

"What about?" I asked. I knew of course, I wasn't the smartest witch in my year for nothing. I didn't even have to be to know what he was on about, but I wanted to hear him say it. I wanted to cause him pain, like he caused me pain. I wanted to hurt Severus. I know I'm a horrible person for this, but I was seething mad at him, and I wanted him to suffer. I feel terrible about even thinking that now, but then it's what I felt.

"About what happened at the end of last year. About what I called you. It's just…well, I don't want your help, especially in front of Potter."

"You needn't worry about that. I doubt we'll have much contact again."

"Lily, please!" Twas the pleading voice that got to me. Severus was always so composed, so stiff and cold. I hardly ever heard him speak like this, and the earnest sound softened me.

I turned to him, my face somber. "I'm sorry Severus, but no. I can't be friends with somebody who would betray me that easily. I stood up for you and in return you called me the most foul insult there is. I don't care who was around, who I was protecting you from, who was watching, you shouldn't have done that."

"I know that."

"No, Severus, I don't think you do. Because you did it. And these are the consequences. I don't think we can…"

"Lily, please. You're being crazy. Friends don't just leave each other after one small…"

"Friends?!" I screamed hysterically. "Friends?! Friends don't call each other mudbloods! I can hardly believe you did that!" I knew my face was flaming red, and his looked upset and falling.

"I really am sorry, Lily." He said, a sad look gracing his features.

I sighed. I always did have a soft spot for the boy. Severus Snape and I were friends. I'm not sure exactly when or how. We both are interested in Potions, and he thought me the most competent person to discuss them with. We both mutually liked our chats, and somehow they grew to friendship, despite Slytherin Gryffindor disputes. Again, I'm not an idiot. I knew Severus felt more than just friendship for me, but I could never feel any more of him than I already did, and he knew this. It wasn't ever spoken. It was just known.

"I know you are, Severus. I just…this just isn't going to work, and I won't do it anymore. I'm sorry."

His head fell, and I felt tears prick my eyes. I adored him, I really did, but the fact that with other people around he betrays our friendship, I just couldn't put up with. It hurt too much, that around others he acted as though I meant nothing to him, that he didn't even know me, when in reality he was one of my closest friends.

"You mean a lot to me, Severus." I told him, looking into his dark eyes.

"You mean a lot to me too, Lily." he said back, quietly, but I heard every word completely clearly, as he spoke into my eyes.

I turned around and walked away, all the while feeling his eyes on my back.

I fell into my bed, burying my face into the cool pillow. All of a sudden it was hot. Extremely sweltering, and I felt like I was choking, and I couldn't breathe, and had an extremely bad headache. I dragged myself to Emma's bed, pushing the window up with an almost dire need and leaning my face against the open air, letting the wind come and slam me in the face. I breathed in the fresh scent of the descending night and allowed myself to calm down.

After I could properly breathe, I left again to find Maddy. I walked into the library and up to her, and upon seeing the look on my face, she gently took my arm and led me outside to the Quidditch Pitch. We sat down on the fresh green grass right in the middle of it, and she patiently waited for me to speak.

"Severus and I aren't friends anymore." I told her.

"Oh, Lily…" I lied down on my side and rested my head in her lap.

Maddy was the only one I could go to about this. I don't think Emma had any idea Severus and I were friends, because while once in a while she saw us together last year, she frowned upon it and most likely forgot about it. She's got one of those selective memories. Maddy, though, was always completely understanding about any situation, and I could always go to her about anything. She was like the mother of our group.

"What happened?" she asked quietly, gently stroking my hair like a mother would do to calm a child.

"After what he called me last year…I…I told him we just couldn't be friends anymore." I paused a moment, and decided to plow on ahead with the question I had wanted to ask her. "Do you think I was wrong?"

She waited a moment, her hand still absently running over my hair. "No. You did what you had to do. He shouldn't have called you that. Real friends don't do things like that, no matter who's around." she spoken softly but forcefully. She was right of course, but I couldn't help but think that I also went along with keeping our friendship relatively secret, even from Emma. I didn't want to think about that though. I didn't want to be wrong too.

We both stretched out next to each other, lying on our backs, staring up into the blue sky, darkening every moment. We lied there in complete silence until night had come upon us and many stars had come out. We both missed dinner, we knew this while we lied there, but neither of us made any move to leave.

I watched the stars, breathing them in, staring at them until I felt like I was one of them, next to them. I raised my hand and traced out the constellations, going around to every star I saw and identifying it. When I reached Sirius I put my hand back down and gazed up at them as a whole.

For hours we were there, Maddy and me, doing nothing and everything at the same time. It was past ten, maybe past eleven, when she spoke again.

"Alright, Lily, we should go in." She stood up, and I got to my feet as well, and in silence we walked all the way to the castle, parting next to the main staircase as she went down and I went up.

I walked into my dorm and was immediately greeted with an angry Emma. "Geez, Lily, why the hell'd you leave the window open?!" She was rubbing her arms, an annoyed look on her face, when I finally noticed the room was quite cold.

"Well, how long ago did you shut the window?"

"Oh, I don't know, an hour or two? This damn room doesn't heat up fast enough." she paused a moment, and then moved on quickly, something she was prone to do. She changed subjects a lot, Emma, not because she wanted to, but because she had so many ideas, so much going on. "We're going to play a prank on the boys, come on." She grabbed my wrist and Belle smiled and jumped off of her bed, running to the door.

"No way. I'm not about to play some juvenile prank on those idiots."

"Oh, come now Lilerbee, you know you want to."

"I have no such fancy, Em, unhand me."

"Oh no, you're coming with us." and thus I was led down the stairs. I was surprised the boys were sleeping before midnight had been reached, but with all their running around, I figured they must have needed to catch up on sleep sometime.

The next morning our prank had obviously worked, the amusing results shown when the boys walked into breakfast, bald and old, walking at a snail's pace. They came up to us, livid, while most of the school laughed at them.

"Evans, turn us back right now!" James shouted in a raspy voice.

"Are we going to die?" Peter asked in a timid voice, looking nervous.

I rolled my eyes. "No, of course not, it'll end in six hours or so."

"Six hours!" James yelled in his raspy, old voice. "It'll take me six hours to get to Transfiguration!"

That day I passed Severus in the hall. He barely spared a glance my way, and I told myself it was for the best. He was walking with Malfoy and Lestrange, a seemingly permanent glare on his face. And even now, I wonder if I had just stayed friends with him, hadn't pushed him away or distanced myself from him, tried to help him, that perhaps he wouldn't have turned. Perhaps he would be helping me right now, not trying to kill me. I think that I shall always feel guilty because of it.

Two nights later was Remus and my patrol night. I descended the stairs to the common room at nine, when Alice shouted my name from behind me, on the top stair, her hand holding the railing, supporting her, making her body tilted. "If you're in the mood to actually catch some people, try the East Tower later!" I laughed and nodded, turning around and taking the last few stairs to the common room. Alice and her boyfriend, Frank, were both seventh year Gryffindors, and dearly loved by almost everyone in the school.

The East Tower is a beautiful spot, the highest, save the usual Astronomy Tower, and actually used to be the old Astronomy Tower before the one for Astronomy now, and a common snogging spot for most in the school.

"Right, well, shall we start from the dungeons and work our way up?" Remus asked me, as we stood outside the portrait. I nodded and we walked down to the Slytherin area. And of course, who should be come across first, but Malfoy.

"Malfoy, it's past nine, what are you doing walking around?" I asked him, sternly.

He just sneered at me. "None of your business."

"Malfoy, if you don't go back to your common room, we'll report you." He gave me a look that clearly said, 'Oh come on, I'm a seventh year and I don't care if I get reported. That can't scare me anymore.'

He left toward what we assumed was his common room, though, but we never did know if he just waited for us to leave and doubled back to where he was going in the first place.

We finished the underground rounds, and started up the ground floor. "Too bad we didn't find any younger year Slythies, like third year. They still get intimidated by us and our report bit. Fun to mess with them." I told Remus.

"Lily!" he mock scolded. "I never would have expected you of all people!" I turned to him and found him grinning at me.

We did, however, come across some Gryffindor second years, and I scolded them firmly and sent them up.

It was getting late when we finally arrived at the East Tower.

"Thomas, Dicken, to your common room! Five points from Ravenclaw!" Remus told Henry Thomas and Darla Dicken sternly, seventh and sixth year Ravenclaws. After sending down a few more Hufflepuffs and a Gryffindor, the Tower was cleared of all the snogging couples.

I wasn't paying any attention though. I was right up against the stone side of the tower, which went about waist high, my hands resting on top of the thick stone, glancing into the night. It was beautiful. Stars dotted every inch of the sky, and made the lake on the right glimmer like it had a million faeries dancing across it. I wished I could be one of those faeries, without a care in the world, twirling on the massive lake.

Remus came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and tugging on me lightly. "Come on, Lily, back to the common room." I knew he could pull harder. He was incredibly strong, and his large, warm arms around me made me feel wonderful. As did the fact that he did not remove them when he stopped pulling.

"No." I whispered. "Look." And he did. He stared up at the sky with me, keeping me warm from the light breeze that would come for a moment every now and then.

"Would you like to know something?" I whispered to the sky. I turned my head sideways to hear him.

"What?" he whispered just as caringly back.

"I think I might remember right now forever." I told him.

He leaned his head closer to me. "So will I." he said. He spoke so quietly, I could hardly hear him, but still managed to catch every word in the quiet night. "And that's why we need to go back."

He grabbed my hand and tugged at it, pulling me slowly away from the edge of the Tower and down the Tower stairs, reluctantly dropping my hand when we had reached the bottom. We walked in silence to the common room, splitting at the top of the stairs. We stared at each other for a moment, until I went right, and he went left.

I fell into my bed, and started laughing and crying at the same time. I had no idea why, and yet knew exactly why. And I hated it and loved it.

AN: "Twas the pleading voice that got to me." Right before I wrote that part, I had watched a movie, so it must have influenced me. Does anybody know which movie? Those of you who are right…uhm…get a cookie!

I know this chapter's short. School and lack of inspiration. Hopefully the next one'll be longer. Thanks to all my reviewers and readers!