13. Not Like the Holovids

Dinner was the best meal I could remember eating. I chatted with my new parents-in-law, still amazed that Carth had neglected to tell me about them. I found that the cloaks had been used by Carth's parents at their ceremony.

"Now it's your job to preserve them until the next family member is married." Elena explained. "I kept ours in a box; Carth knows what it's like. Just ask him about it until he tells you."

I smiled. "I'm glad I'm not the only one that has to drag information out of him." Elena laughed.

"He's never been too forthcoming." She began to tell a story of his childhood when Bastila interrupted.

"You weren't on Telos when it was attacked, were you?" She asked.

"We moved to Coruscant." Elena explained, "It was right before Telos was destroyed. We've lived there ever since."

"Do you like it there?" I asked.

"It's not bad, but I miss the space we had on Telos." She sighed. "We just figured it wouldn't be targeted by the Sith. It was a decision of safety."

"We're moving back as soon as we can." Han insisted. Elena didn't look convinced. I smiled.

"Any more surprises?" I asked Carth as our dinner plates were taken away by the waitress.

"Would you believe me if I said no?"

"Nope." I smiled.

"Then yes." He took a sip of water. "I thought we'd leave after dessert and have a quiet evening without interruptions."

"Sounds good to me. Would it be rude to just leave?"

"I think everyone's surprised we've stayed this long. It's a good surprised. Everyone has their ideas of what's going to happen." He lowered his voice. "What about the bond with Bastila?"

"She's got it taken care of." I smiled. "She knows we'll want privacy. I'm sure she has something else to concentrate on." Carth looked confused, but I made it fairly clear that it wasn't the time to discuss Bastila. As much as I wanted to duck out early, dessert was worth staying. A medley of fruits and chocolate were presented in cakes, tarts, and candies that made me salivate just looking at them. The excitement began to wear off. By the time Carth and I left for our room, I felt like I'd known his parents as long as I'd known him. Part of me never wanted the evening to end, but when I got back to the room and remembered the layers of makeup on my face, I was glad I could scrape it off before it got out of control. After I took off my sandals, I made a beeline for the washroom mirror and got a washcloth out.

"Do you have to wash it off now?" Carth asked impatiently from the other room.

"Yes." I said stubbornly, scrubbing my face until it was red, because I knew the red was in fact my skin. "Because when I'm done, my face is going to be all red and wet and it's going to look like hell." I grinned. He rolled his eyes. I couldn't see it, but I could tell.

"No fair. I'm all the way over here." He sighed.

"Just give me a minute. They layered it on good." I was getting sick of scrubbing. Finally, the washcloth began to come clean after I'd wiped my face with it. I patted my face dry and went into the other room. Carth had removed his boots and jacket and had unbuttoned his shirt. He wasn't wearing a full tunic as underwear, like he had throughout the voyage.

"Took you long enough." He smiled. I got nervous again. I was stuck. I couldn't take it slow, but I couldn't plan it out. I stood there, staring at him for a long time, wondering what to do. I figured I'd feel better once I got out of the dress.

"Would you undo my sleeves?" I asked innocently. His rough fingertips grazed my arm as he unfastened the sleeves from my bodice. My heart beat faster. Maybe I'd be okay after all, especially if I got all amorous when he touched me. "Untie me too?" I asked after the sleeves were off. He smiled.

"Sure thing." The laces loosened and the dress started slipping. I caught it before it fell on the floor. I turned to face Carth, who was grinning stupidly. "What? I like your new underwear."

I blushed modestly. "Thanks." I stepped out of the dress and took it to the closet to hang it up. It felt strangely liberating to be comfortable walking around in my underwear. There was softness in Carth's eyes that I'd rarely seen before. He put his arms around me and pulled me against him, kissing my forehead. I was in a state of slight disbelief. I was married. I didn't feel any different. I ran my hands up and down his back. He felt the same. The feeling of his skin against mine was exhilarating. My mind wandered to how great his butt looked in the pants of his dress uniform. Was I supposed to be different? His left hand stroked my face, gently tilting my chin upward. I wanted to say a million mushy things about loving him, but he kissed me, interrupting my thoughts. It was deep and gentle, passionate and loving, everything I could imagine. His shirt was unbuttoned all the way, so I slid it off his shoulders. He moved his arms, allowing it to drop, without missing a beat. I caressed his back lightly with the tips of my fingers, giving him goosebumps. Doubts had fallen from my mind. I was filled with happiness. He withdrew his lips from mine.

"I forgot to take my socks off." He explained. Of course a love scene between the former Dark Lord of the Sith and an admiral for the Republic fleet wouldn't be like it was in the holovids. I smiled, still overcome. I sat down at the foot of the bed next to him as he removed his socks. He looked at me adoringly.

"We're a couple of idiots." I knew I was giving him the same look.

"At least we're happy." As we began kissing again, I realized that this was the most normal pre-kissing conversation that we'd had. Moments later, I stopped caring. I was too enveloped in Carth to care about anything else.

I'd be lying if I said that neither of us had ulterior motives or that I forgot them at any point, but his approach made me feel like he had more important things in mind than finishing his business and falling asleep. I relished each of the sensations. It was like a good romance holo, only it never faded to black or panned to the window at the right moment. I had to open my eyes every once in a while to make sure I was still there.

"What if someone knocks?" I asked nervously.

"We ignore them." Carth replied.

"I'm scared." I said meekly. He took a deep breath and smiled at me kindly. "Not that you…" Why was I trying to make conversation? "I must be the most damn awkward woman you've ever met."

"Pretty much." Carth laughed. He hugged me. "How's your asteroid?"

"Took you long enough to ask." The short break helped a bit. "I'm fine." I was slowly regaining my composure. "I'm just trying not to do the spontaneous combustion thing."

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked.

"Of course I'm okay." I smiled haphazardly. "I just wanted a break, that's all."

"We haven't done anything yet." He argued weakly.

"Tough luck." I grinned. "It's a lot for me to wrap my mind around."

"You're going to put it off forever, aren't you?"

"No." I said firmly. "I'm just nervous. Don't be upset." I pushed the stray hairs from his forehead and stroked his face gently. "I just haven't tripped or fallen off anything recently, so I'm waiting for it." Carth smiled.

"So if I push you off the bed…"

"No." I laughed. "But don't say I didn't warn you about it happening when it does."

"Fair enough."

"Okay, I think I can handle a little more." I wrapped my arms around Carth's bare torso. The sensation was overwhelming, but slowly becoming familiar. One of his feet rubbed mine. I hadn't watched enough holovids to know what to do. I wasn't even sure if I'd done this before, but I seemed to move instinctively as though I knew what was happening next. He sure as hell knew what he was doing. The fade-to-black never came. I was flooded with sundry memories.

"Did you have to flirt with that Sith core-slime?" Carth demanded.

"It was the easiest way." I thought I heard Carth mutter something about me being easy. "What did you call me, flyboy?"

"Nothing! I just said I thought you weren't like those easy cantina dancers." I rolled my eyes. We stumbled upon a Twi'lek who needed a dance partner. Carth didn't seem too pleased that I'd offered to help.

"Why shouldn't I help her?" I asked before he could say anything.

"I didn't think you were like that." Carth looked disappointed.

"Don't make me throw you over my knee and spank you!" Carth taunted.

"Is that a promise?" I raised my eyebrows flirtatiously. He stammered a response and changed the subject quickly.

"What was she like, your wife?"

"A little like you."

"Do you have to go out there by yourself?" Carth demanded, motioning toward the ocean floor of Manaan.

"There's only one suit." I said stubbornly. "I've told you a hundred times. If you feel like going out to play with the sharkies, you do so at your own risk."

"There has to be another suit around here somewhere." Carth said frantically. Juhani sighed.

"Carth, we've looked."

"She can't go out there alone!" He cried.

"Oh no! The mama sharkie found me! Blarg, I'm dead!" I called angrily.

"Don't be childish." Carth argued as I slammed the airlock door. He pounded on the glass, motioning for me to come back. A firaxa blocked my view of the ocean floor. I pressed the button about a hundred times in one second. When I realized I was still alive, I tried to flip Carth off, but it didn't work in the environment suit.

"You'll have to make a big decision soon."

"You've been telling me this since Taris." I teased, but he wasn't biting.

"No, I know it's really soon this time."

"Right." I smirked, putting my hand on my hip. I hadn't seen Carth in such favorable lighting since Dantooine. "The fact that we're right below the Star Forge never gave you a hint?" He rolled his eyes.

"Why couldn't I hate you?" He asked.

"I'm too cute?" I tried. "Or is it my charm and wit? Or something more banal, like my tight butt?"

"You're going into that temple alone?" Carth changed the subject.

"Why not? That's how they want me to do it."

"It's dangerous!" Carth protested. "I'm going with you."

"We cannot perform the ritual if someone's with you." The Rakata answered my question. I really did want Carth with me. He'd been by my side unfalteringly for so long. What if I strayed because he wasn't there? I knew there was no bargaining.

"Sorry, flyboy." I said, trying to hide my disappointment, but he still caught it. "They won't budge."

"Make the right decision." Carth pleaded. "For me?" My insides melted.

"I promise I'll come out alive." I kept a straight face.

"If you ever doubt for one second a reason to follow the path you've chosen…" he began, but stopped to compose himself. "I want you to make it past this. I still want to give you the future you gave me after Saul."

The Rakata were getting a little impatient. I hugged Carth. "I promise I'll do the right thing." I didn't know if Carth would come through on his promise to give me a future, but I knew he'd try. There would be no chance of it working if I didn't do my part.

"You did it!" He exclaimed. "I knew you would!" We were all happy that I'd survived this test, but I knew it wouldn't be the last. I maintained my composure, even though Carth made it difficult when he said, "I love you and I can't wait until all of this is over." A year of innuendo caught up to me. What was he going to do when all of this was over? I could hardly wait either.

And here I was, finding out what a year of innuendo meant, what he couldn't wait for. I was right to anticipate it.

(standard disclaimer goes here...) Thanks to all reviewers! You people make posting worthwhile!