Disclaimer: Alright I'm seriously in writer's mode. I'll update this one first fans!
Holy crap forty chapters? I'm crazy! Don't worry, the end is drawing ever closer, my aim is maybe 5 more max! Keep the reviews coming!
Thank you for the White's Day Comment. Sorry for that confusion! I'll switch it or something don't worry! I'll make like a month pass or something in some chapters. Speed time up a little.
I guess my last comment put people under the impression I was finished, ARE YOU KIDDING?
Tohru still has to tell you who she loves! Duh! But you probably have figured out who it is by now but hey it's all good.
Chapter 40
Tohru still couldn't fully grasp what had happened just moments ago.
Kyo...he had suddenly... transformed.
Transformed into a horrific monster, he looked like he was in such much pain.. Akito had wandered to his bedroom, and Hatori threw open the door, his hair plastered to his face from the rain.
"Master, what is going on?" He asked gasping for air. He had heard screams a little while ago. Hatori had run to the library moments before, knowing that was where Tohru and Akito had been, and he found the bracelet on the floor.
Akito looked groggy, like his illness was slowly constricting him like a snake. "Her final test has begun. Those fools, there is no salvation for the ones who live on hope."
Hatori stared at Akito, droplets plunking against the floor below him. "No..." His hand gripped the bracelet in his pocket. Hatori turned and ran out the door, not even caring his white lab coat would be ruined after this. He ran straight to Shigure's house and bursted through the front door.
Momiji who had been watching a movie screamed seeing him enter. Shigure had been watching the movie and was rather surprised too. Shigure was the first to speak after a long silence, worry in his voice, "What's...wrong Hatori?"
Hatori had an arm propping him up against the threshold and he panted, "The bracelet..."
"The bracelet? I don't follow Hatori," Shigure ruffled an eyebrow looking at his friend. "Perhaps you should sit down at relax."
"There isn't time!" He shouted "Kyo's bracelet's off! He ran off...Tohru went after him!" Hatori gasped again, his breath rapid and he ran his hand pulled out Kyo's bracelet.. "Her...test!"
Shigure dropped the book he was holding and looked at Hatori. "Dear lord you can't honestly mean this is the test Akito had planned for her? She's never witnessed anything like this! Tohru's not ready for this!" Shigure was screaming now, the rest of the boys were running towards his screaming voice.
"What's going on?" Haru asked rather confused.
"Kyo's bracelet's been taken off..." Shigure answered as Yuki fully entered the room, everyone's eyes widening with surprise, "Tohru's gone after him no doubt." Shigure knew he was restating what he had just been told, but the boys needed to know as well.
Yuki walked over to the coat rack and pulled off his jacket. "I'm going after her, there's no way she'll be able to handle his other form." Haru and Momiji followed his example and grabbed their jackets too, a small smile coming to Yuki's lips.
"Momiji, come with me and Hatori, we'll drive around. I need to keep an eye on you in this storm," Shigure noted and Momiji did not protest. Haru was already through the door, the sound of his motorcycle being revved up . Yuki simply grabbed an umbrella and took off down the street in a sprint.
(Yes in my fic he has a motor cycle!)
Why...why...why did she have to see me this way? Everything we've accomplished...the bonds...everything is gone now...damn it why?
Kyo ran through the forest, slashing the trees as he went along with his powerful arms. Whether it be because of the rain, water dripped from his eyes down the sides of his demonic rabbit like form. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he knew he had to get far away. The city soon became specks in the fleeting horizon and the scenery changed to pine and trees. He smashed through the trees until he came to the beach. The beach... Kyo took a few padded steps out until the waves of the beach touched his feet. He looked down at his reflection, staring at the monster he had become and he let out a loud cry. His hand shot into the water, causing ripples to blur out the reflection, his other hand covering his eyes as the monster whimpered more. He was a monster. This was Kyo's true self, a monster.
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Tohru had walked straight through the rubble of the Sohma Home and onto the sidewalk. She didn't know which way Kyo had gone, craning her head from left to right trying to guess. The right led to home, the left to the outskirts of town. Tohru chose left, Kyo was too upset to freely walk home. Her socks were soaked from the rain, her shoes still by Hatori's room where she had first entered from. She stumbled as she ran down the street, all the time calling out his name. "Kyo? Kyo where are you?"
Tohru could rid herself of Kyo's horrible screams, the pain he felt, it was so overpowering. She turned the corner and continued walking, it sounded like people were calling her name, but she couldn't stop, she had to find Kyo. She sprinted past the ice cream shop, Uo and Hana's house, the bar, everywhere she went she knew Kyo wasn't there. It was almost like she was following his trail. But his trail wasn't footprints or anything, it was like Tohru was falling the pain he left behind, it lingered like an invisible aura.
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Yuki ran to the ice cream shop, it nearly nine o'clock and Kira was locking up for the day. Yuki grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around "Did Tohru come by here after work?" Yuki asked out of breath.
"Dude who the hell are you?" Kira shot. Why were so many people looking for Tohru, it was like they popped out of no where. Yuki had no idea Kyo had come looking for Tohru a little while ago.
"Yuki Sohma, I don't have time for this, just tell me if she came by, please!" Yuki begged
"I haven't seen her since she left work. Sorry, now if you'll excuse me I've got to get home," Kira started walking down the street with an umbrella.
"Don't you even care if she's in trouble?" Yuki screamed at him. This was the same Kira right? The one who wanted to take her away and kissed her?
Kira turned back around and shrugged. "I'll always care, I'll always worry, but I've watched you all, and listened to the way she talks about you Sohmas. She loves you guys, and I know you're all going to take care of her," with that Kira turned and walked off.
His comment left an impression on Yuki as he stood there for a moment. The rain was bouncing off against his umbrella. Had Yuki really won this? Kira had given up Tohru...he shook his head and stopped his fantasies, Tohru couldn't be his if she got killed by Kyo. He took off in a sprint again, calling her name.
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"What do you think's going to happen to TorTor?" Momiji asked Shigure looking out the window for any sign of her.
"I really don't know Momiji, he could easily kill her in that stage. That part of Kyo is not supposed to be released like that, he'll be lost in such a rage," Shigure spoke harshly, he had no intention of upsetting Momiji but he was far too distracted thinking about Tohru. "Hatori where could she be?"
"I'm not sure Shigure, we've already checked with Uo and Hana, the bar, the band, I'm not sure where else she'd be," Hatori replied emotionlessly, staring at the windshield wipers. He ran his hand over his eyes for a moment at the stoplight. "I should have known he was up to something, I'm such a fool."
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Haru didn't have anyone to talk to, he was speeding down the streets, trying not to flip his bike on the slippery roads. All of Tohru's familiar places had already been covered, but it wasn't Tohru that he had to think like, it would be Kyo. Where would Kyo go? That was also a difficult idea to work with, because not only was Kyo not even in his real body, the real Kyo wasn't open to begin with! Haru gripped the bar and sped off again as the light turned green, where did those two go, it was like they had disappeared!
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Tohru continued running around the town, she was going crazy, "Oh Kyo where are you?" she whimpered as her hands swung at her sides mid-jog.. Her feet ached, and she was frigid from the rain but she continued running until she came to the forest. This wasn't her forest, but just another one. She slowed herself, taking light steps into the forest, she just had this gut feeling that Kyo was nearby.
Kyo...what happened to you...what did Akito do to you?
Tohru wandered deeper into the forest, thinking she'd be lost forever. The trees blocked out most of the rain for her as her feet sloshed against the muddy earth below her. She climbed over the many growing roots that entangled the walkway. Much to her relief, there was a bright light up ahead, a clearing in the forest. She brushed aside another branch and squinted. The sound of water was the first thing to hit Tohru. She was at the beach.
She wandered out onto the sand and looked around. The sound of a vicious scream drew Tohru in the right direction. There he...it...there Kyo was, thrashing at his reflection again and again in the water. The sound of lightning from above caused Tohru to scream, and Kyo's head instantly whipped to look in her direction.
"Kyo?" Tohru's voice was weak, shaking just like her terrified body was. She took a step towards him and he growled at her, fangs all showing. She stopped, and stared at him. "Kyo...Kyo it's me...Tohru...Let me help you" She took another step. Kyo stood up and growled at her.
Get away from me Tohru...don't look at me this way...
Kyo stumbled back, her eyes looked so pleading and he only grew terrified of them. How could she really be so willing to see such a repulsive monster? Tohru took another step and he threw out his arm to hold her back.
"Kyo...Kyo it's me...Tohru...Let me help you"
No...don't come closer Tohru...stay away.
Kyo hissed and growled again, Tohru grew closer still, her knees were ready to buckle with fear. She was shivering, both in fear and in reaction of the cold. Tohru knew the real Kyo was in there somewhere, somewhere deep inside whatever he had become. She took another step towards him, leaving her footprints in the sand, "Kyo. I know you're not happy this way. I want to help you..." She kept approaching him.
Kyo's violet eyes widened and he growled more, his teeth glistening in the storm. Tohru was scared out of her wits, so scared, she hadn't heard Yuki appear at the edge of the forest. Yuki craned his head until he found Tohru. He dropped his umbrella and ran in a sprint. "Tohru! Get away from him!"
"Yuki?" Tohru turned around surprised. Yuki ran up and stood in front of her, slowly urging her to back away. "Yuki what are you doing?"
"Tohru you must get away from this monster!" Yuki commanded trying desperately to push her back without touching her.
Kyo snarled, seeing Yuki's face enraged him. Monster? I'm a monster? What about you! The one who does everything possible to steal Tohru away from anyone who gets too close for your liking? What about Akito, the bastard who did this to me, the one who pained all of us? I'm a monster? ME? Just because I look this way?
Kyo growled and hissed taking a step closer to them, his violet eyes now just slits, and the hint of violence and rage in them. He raised one of his enormous arms in the air, he looked like he wanted to pound Yuki like wack-a-mole. His arm looked like it was about to sling shot down when Tohru jumped out in front of Yuki again.
"Kyo stop, don't hurt Yuki," she voice was squeaky and scared, but her arms were spread wide out to block Yuki.
Tohru...
"Kyo I know you're angry but don't hurt him. You're better than that," Tohru squeaked again.
Kyo snarled at her still, saliva dripping from his inner jaw and between the gaps of his sharp fangs. Tohru was really shaking and still Kyo snarled. Yuki stepped out in front of her and practically knocked Tohru over. Instead Tohru stumbled a few steps and fell to her knees. "Tohru, I'm telling you to run! Listen to me and get out of here!"
Don't touch her like that...Don't touch her like that!
Kyo howled and broke out into a real rage. The choler from earlier had finally been released. Yuki's eyes widened, now seeing he really had angered Kyo. His large claws glistened from the refracting thunder and took a quick swipe at him, too quick for Yuki to even react to. Yuki was sent flying in the air, his left shoulder now having three open wounds from Kyo's claws. He landed roughly in the sand, half submerged with the tide of the sea.
"YUKI!" Tohru got up from her knees and scrambled over to him. She sat down beside him, the water drenching her skirt even more as she ran her hand over his wound.
"It's okay...Tohru...just a scratch..." Yuki winced trying to sit up. Tohru grabbed his back and eased him up slowly. The "Scratches" were more than just scratches. They weren't deep, something at least Hatori could take care of, but it wasn't good for him since he angered Kyo.
Why is she helping him? Kyo let out another piercing howl. His arms were flailing about, he went for the closest thing he could find, a pile of logs and driftwood. He began smashing and clawing them to bits and Tohru let out another scream.
He was going mad, he was smashing and smashing he didn't even notice the shards that pierced his hard face. Yuki had managed to stand back up, and was struggling to walk over to Kyo with his limp shoulder.
"You may be a monster, you may be family, but I made a promise, that nothing would ever hurt Tohru," Yuki exclaimed bringing himself to a fighter's stance. Kyo looked up at Yuki, remembering what Kyo too had promised her.
Flashback
Back on Christmas...and the promise he had made
"I believe in him, I believe he can change. But he won't, until he believes in himself," Tohru told him gently.
"Then I'll keep believing in you," he told her gently. From behind his back he handed her his gift, small, but not that tiny, with a small red bow on it. "Merry Christmas Tohru," Tohru smiled and Kyo waited for her to open it. She tore of the bow, and lifted up the case, and found a locket inside of it. She opened it up, on the left side was a picture of Kyoko, and on the right, was a picture of him and her, a picture that Shigure had taken of them for the photo album. He took the chain from her after she held up her hair, and clipped it around her neck. "Tohru, I want to protect you, from every harm possible,"
A promise... A promise I broke...I can't protect her...from the monster that I am.
Kyo let out another loud screech, one that caused Tohru to hold her ears and Yuki who did the same. The rain was pouring harder now, harder than Tohru had ever seen it. The rain; it was like the heavens were crying, crying over what was happening. He looked at Yuki, so much hatred was in his eyes, he brought his arm up to swing. Yuki opened his eyes, they were closed from the screeching and he looked up in fear.
"You really are a monster,' Yuki exclaimed, his voice barely heard in his own fear. He wanted to move, but his legs wouldn't. He wanted to scream, but his voice seemed to vanish. He wanted to defend himself, but the wound prevented.
The hand came crashing down, lightning flashed, and there was a scream.
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Hatori stopped the car. Stopped it completely and abruptly. Shigure and Momiji were thrown forward in their seats, their seatbelts were the only thing that kept them from flying straight through the windshield. Haru had been following them, they had met up at the center of the town. He leaned to the side, the soul of his boat being worn away as he too came to an abrupt stop. He rolled his bike up to the window and knocked on it.
Hatori rolled down the black window and looked out at the street in front of them.
"There is nothing we can do now..." Hatori told Haru blandly, "This is between the cat, the rat, and Tohru...I'm afraid...it's too late for us to intervene" With that, Hatori rolled the window back up, and silently, they returned home. Waiting for them to return. For some unknown reason, everyone understood. Momiji started crying in the back seat resting his face in his knees. Haru just stared up at the sky and wished the sun would return.
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Tohru's Point of View
Is it so wrong...to be fond of everyone? Mom died only such a short time ago...but I loved her so much. I didn't cry that day at the funeral, because, it wasn't in me to cry. Uo, Hana, grandpa, everyone was crying. I was right there beside them, staring down at the same grave, same flowers on the top, and still, it didn't seem real. Even now, a year and maybe a half later, I still can't grasp it's real.
I wish I could visit her grave more. If I could drive I would. I don't want to ask the Sohmas for rides, because they would try to comfort me. Not even Clarity. I just want to sit one day, just me and here, and have a heart to heart. I want to tell her my secrets, my fears, my pains, and everything. I'm okay...I am. I'm sad...and lonely...but I'm still here. That's what matters, that was what mattered to mom.
Is it wrong, to love my band and the Sohmas together? Clarity, my second skin, the skin my mom had introduced me to. She loved hearing me sing like that. "Great job kiddo, let those true colors shine," she'd always tell me that. She loved them from the moment she saw them. I think our parents were all friends, I can't even remember anymore. I do love them. I love them a lot. They're all like Hondas to me, real family.
Uo and Hana too, even if I did fight with Uo, she was doing it to protect me. Heh, it's funny, everyone's so worried about me. They thought I'd be in therapy for a long while after mom died. But no, I'm just gonna keep on smiling and keep on living. That's all there is to it right? Remember who you are, and where you came from, but keep living. Mom will never leave me, and the necklace around my neck is my constant reminder. Mom goes everywhere I do, both in my heart, and around my neck.
Sometimes I wonder about dad. Mom didn't show me pictures of him, he died when I was so young, that even if I had the best memory I wouldn't remember him. She never told me how I died. I think, she was waiting for me to be older, and then we just didn't ask anymore. My father helped and gave me life, but it was mom, who sustained that life for me. I wonder...am I like dad?
Where do I even begin with the Sohmas...my saviors. They took me from the rubble and gave me a home. They didn't have to be as sweet as they were too, they might have just given me a room. In most cases, people would have to pay for their food, the rent, the water, everything. Instead, all I have to do is cook, clean, and keep the secret. Cooking and cleaning is so much fun away. Keeping the secret is hard, but not impossible. There have been times I've wanted to tell Uo and Hana or the band, but never so badly. I was afraid that Akito would erase my memories even if I did keep the promise. Maybe I still am afraid...
Even if I did leave the Sohmas, like I moved away, at least I could keep the happy memories with me, but losing them all together, would be losing a piece of me. I would hate for that to happen. They are so kind...and I love them all so much...but now...
But now they're fighting...now Akito's gone too far...now Kyo is in so much pain. I can feel it, it pulls at my heart strings and it makes me want to cry. The cat and the rat, I know they're destined to fight in the stories, but shouldn't life be different? This isn't a story, this is real. No one said they had to fight. Yuki is wrong, Kyo is wrong, why can't they just see that?
Kyo's staring at Yuki now, I can see the thirst for blood in his eyes. Kyo's hungering for pain...
This is all my fault. It really is my fault. If I had never been so selfish, if I had never accepted to stay, in my selfishness, so much pain as emerged. I've made the Sohmas miserable. Kyo was only at Sohma Home to find me, and look what's happened now. Yuki, he was looking for me, and now he's hurt too. I really am a fool... I only cause hurt. I only cause pain
Stop...you all both have to stop...this isn't right...it just isn't. I've got to stop them...I will...I want to help. Stop...and just for once...don't worry about me...
Yuki's eyes opened timidly, he had been expected a catastrophic hurt, and found there was no harm to him but the previous wound. He looked ahead, expecting to see a vicious Kyo ready to retaliate, or maybe he was inches from his face. Instead, Kyo's face was staring down at his sanguinolent hands. No, Kyo wasn't looking down at his hands, but what was below them, resting quietly on the sand. Yuki looked down too and took in a sharp breath.
There she was lying on the ground. There was a cut on her side, just above her hip. The pieces were slowly coming together about what just happened. Kyo had started the attack and Yuki had closed his eyes because of the lightning. At that same moment Tohru had run out into the line of fire, and screamed upon the impact of his assault.
Kyo fell down to his knees, tears falling from his eyes. "Tohr...ru..." his hand reached out to her, and he rested it on her back gently. "Toh...ru..." His words were like their own language, Yuki could only barely figure out he was calling to her. Yuki fell to his knees and watched; Kyo was rubbing her back, accidentally smearing her blood on her clothing. He called to her for at third time and Tohru let out a muffled moan of pain.
Tohru opened her eyes and slowly pushed off her arms like she was doing a push-up. She turned over slowly, and landed back on the sand with a thud so her back rested against the water drenched sand. She looked up at Kyo and let a weak smile crawl onto her face. Her hands worked their way up to her locket. Kyo's eyes regained a red glow, his real eyes, as he started to remember what the locket actually was. She popped it open with her weak hands, and pointed to the picture of her and Kyo.
"See Kyo...that's you...that's the real you. You think...that this monster is your real form...you've got it all wrong. This is...the form Akito branded you with...the one you keep inside...because you know how to control your anger now...This is the curse...but you aren't the curse. Do you get it?"
The monster shook his head in a no.
"Kyo... you were born on your own...your mom and dad...with you came the curse. It's like a the story of the perfect angel. A little angel was born on an autumn night. She was born with beautiful white wings , so beautiful that everyone loved to stare and admire her. But that angel was sad...eventually she faded away...do you know why? People couldn't see her past the wings...they couldn't see the girl who was standing there right in front of them, just the shiny wings..." Tohru winced slightly as she took in a breath. "I don't pity her."
His monster eyes widened with confusion.
"Kyo...you have the monster, but you're more than justthe monster, just as the girl is more than the wings. I see you Kyo...you're in there somewhere. That little girl died, without ever trying to show her true colors. She should have tried. Don't let those people see the monster Kyo, make them see the real you, the one I see everyday," Tohru's voice was growing softer, the rain still pelting against her as she held the locket in her hand. Her hands slowly rested down against her chest and closed her eyes.
You're more than the monster Kyo...show the world the real you, the one I see everyday.
"Tohru?" He called to her but got no response. "Tohru...please don't leave me..."
"I'll try...but I cannot promise you that anymore..." Tohru sat up slowly, Yuki taking one of her arms and hoisting her up. "Thanks Yuki..." She whispered quietly.
"Thank you...for saving me," Yuki told her gently.
Tohru turned to face Kyo. He was finally back to his human form, shirtless, a little bloody and bruised, but human. He was frowning, looking away, his bangs covering his eyes as he cried softly. Tohru walked up to him and stared up into his eyes. Slowly, Tohru wrapped her arms around Kyo's waist and held him tight until a second later he popped into a cat in her arms. She bent over and picked up his clothes, and together Yuki and Tohru limped home, Kyo all the time crying into Tohru silently.
Together Tohru and Yuki entered the home somewhere in the middle of the night. The walk from the beach back home had been excruciatingly painful for them. Yuki opened the door with his good arm. Hatori and Shigure were pacing back and forth inside, Haru was trying to take care of Momiji, and Momiji's eyes were so red and swollen from his tears. Everyone looked up, not sure what was more startling, Yuki's wound or Tohru's. Hatori ran up to them but Tohru shook her head.
"I'll be right back," She told Hatori in a whisper. She slowly began her climb up the stairs, she wouldn't tell them how painful that walk was. She walked over to the closet, grabbing a towel and bandages, and then walked into Kyo's room.
His room seemed plainer now since the last time she had been inside it. Tohru ran the towel over the soaked tabby. He had long since fallen asleep in her arms, lost in his exhaustion. She rubbed him dry, and then slipped him under the sheets to sleep. He would have a lot of bruises tomorrow on his face. Tohru said nothing and walked out quietly.
She went into her room and peeled her clothes from her. She wrapped the bandages around her side in a circle wrapping layer over layer. She tied a note to finish the bandage and then slipped on a black nightgown and slipped into her own bed.
Yuki was downstairs with Hatori and the other's, explaining what had happened as Hatori mended his shoulder.
"Well young Yuki, I think you're going to be alright, just give it time to heal," Hatori finished off the bandage.
"Hatori, do you think they'll be okay?" Shigure asked staring up at the ceiling.
"I don't know Shigure...I really don't..." Hatori looked down at the table that Yuki was sitting on. He sighed and ran his hand over his damaged eye. "Akito...has a way of changing people in the most opposite respect of Tohru's. What happens...when you break an angel?"
"The angel disappears...because no one can see past his wings," Yuki replied, staring up at the ceiling.
If one of the Sohmas had strained their hearing hard enough, they could hear the constant crying of Kyo through the rest of the night. But even if the Sohmas tried their hardest, no one could hear the sound of her breaking heart.