Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket
Props to Katie: aka : Miss Lady Marauder: for figuring out what the mirror meant
Warning: This is a long Chapter!
I'm sorry if the lyrics to the songs I used come out in clumps. It was spaced properly on the computer but I think that's just something that happens when you upload documents. I tried fixing it, hopefully it worked.
Chapter 45
Tohru went straight to sleep after her late night phone call. More, she tried to sleep after the phone call. She had just sealed her fate, and even now she was feeling the uneasiness of it. That decision was a spontaneous one, not a lot of thought given but instead her emotions. Morning came to her slowly, slower than she preferred. There was no sound of joyous birds in harmony nor the sunshine that usually poured through her window. No matter, she still rose at six, showered, and was downstairs before seven.
Shigure came into the kitchen first, as usual. Tohru slid a dish of eggs and fried rice. Over the edge of his newspaper he watched her work, humming as she went along stirring breakfast for the others and sliding a cup of tea over to him. Valentine's day was over, now Tohru only had a few weeks to decide, the days kept dwindling down faster then they seemed. Shigure smiled at Tohru's innocence, but at the same time, there was a painful feeling in his heart knowing she might be leaving him. Yuki walked into the room but he didn't look at Tohru. His expression was crestfallen, Tohru avoided his face too, hurrying to the phone when it rang.
"Good morning, Sohma residence, Tohru speaking," Her fingers began to wrap the phone coil around her.
"Hello little Tohru," A sinister voice whispered, "It's been a long while hasn't it?"
Tohru looked over at the breakfast table where the two were eating. Tohru pulled the cord and walked into the other room, murmuring to him so she would not draw the suspicion of the rest of the family, "Can I help you Akito?"
There was a cackle on the other line, it was a weak , almost half-hearted, "Of course you can help me. It's been at least a month since the last time I saw you. I was thinking it was time for you to visit again."
"Can I ask what's the reason for this wonderful invitation sir?" Tohru asked nervously.
"Just come and see me Tohru, there's much I need to speak with you about."
"Alright sir... But sir, it's seven on a Sunday Morning, you surely don't want to speak with me this early in the morning. You should get some more rest before I come visit and eat breakfast too, its always good to start off a day with breakfast! Oh umm what time should I be expected at your residence?"
"I want you to be here at noon, one hour, that's all I'll need. CLICK" The phone line went dead and Tohru stared down at it.
"Who was that Tohru?" Shigure asked from the other room calling over his newspaper.
"No one important Shigure, just a telemarketer," Called back quickly, returning the phone to its resting place on the kitchen wall.
Tohru knew that Shigure had forbidden her to see Akito, with good reason. But, she never fully turned away from Akito. After what he had done to Kyo, there was a lot she wanted to say to him. One hour, she could survive one hour couldn't she? She bit her lip and returned to the kitchen, fixing up breakfast for the hyper Momiji and docile Haru that had walked in while she was on the phone. "Where's Kyo?" Tohru asked handing the boys their breakfast.
"He's still up in our room Tohru," Momiji explained with a spoonful of rice in his mouth, "Mr. Grumpy didn't want to get up. He seemed sort of moody TorTor, all deplorable."
"I'll bring him up some breakfast so he feels better. I hope he doesn't get a cold. He can spend today in bed it is Sunday after all, that might help," Tohru decided aloud smiling in her usual perkiness as she was spooned some rice into a bowl for him.
With that, Yuki got up from his seat and walked out the door. It just hurt him too much right now, the wounds of rejection still stung. She watched him leave, and couldn't help but feel a horrible guilt inside of her. She'd hurt him and Tohru wished there was a way to make things right. She finished preparing Kyo's meal, and wandered upstairs to his room.
She knocked on the door with her foot and waited for a response, "Kyo? Momiji told me you didn't feel well so I made you a special breakfast," hearing the sound of a low grumble and someone turning over in bed Tohru slid open the door and walked in.
His back was to her, he was facing the wall, his eyes firmly clamped shut. His eyes were still swollen red from unexplained tears, and he didn't want her to see them. "Just let me sleep...okay Tohru?"
Tohru frowned, he sounded so worn and tired. It was like the last of his spirit had been drained from him. She wandered over to the bed and placed the food down beside it. She reached out and rested her hand on his shoulder. Kyo instantly grew stiff, but he didn't say anything.
"I want you to feel better okay Kyo? You rest here as long as you need and I'll get you anything you need. I'm going out at twelve though...don't tell Shigure, I have to go see Akito," she couldn't help but stroke his shoulder gently, concern in her voice, not realizing her words had angered and confused Kyo as she spoke of Akito.
Kyo rolled over, now not even caring that his eyes were blood shot and red, "You're going to what?" He asked loudly.
Tohru's hand clamped over his mouth as she looked to the door to see if anyone had heard his loud outburst. She sighed, "Kyo, I'm only telling you because I trust you," she pulled her hand away from his mouth slowly, her eyes the truest portrayment of her fear, "If I don't go, Akito will send Hatori after me, and completely erase my memories. If I go now, there is a chance I can come back. I just have to spend one last hour with him. All he told me on the phone was that he wanted to talk to me. Besides, he needs to know what he did to you was wrong."
Kyo stared at her, "You're an idiot."
Tohru's arm left his shoulder and she stood up looking down at him, "Why am I an idiot Kyo? He asked me to see him, I can't just turn him away without a valid reason."
"Look, we all know what did was a bitch but going to him just for me is stupid! You're going to get your memories erased because of that! You're too caring...and I'm not worth it"
"But...I just want him to know...I wanted to ask him about the adoption papers anyway...That way you can be happy, and Shigure can be happy too," Tohru turned her eyes away, hurt by what he said.
" Why would you want to be with us anyway? We're nothing but cursed people! You are constantly putting yourself in danger!" He barked back.
"You are more than just cursed people! That's what I've been saying from the start! You are loving boys, each one of you is like family to me. Why do you keep pushing me away? What have I done to upset you Kyo?" She begged desperately.
"You're going to get your stupid memories erased! I go crazy worrying about you every time you go to Akito! Every time you leave I'm afraid you're never going to come back! If you don't come back, what will I be left with?" Kyo looked away and blushed, no knowing why he was blushing.
"Kyo..." Tohru rested her hand back on his shoulder and smiled, "You don't have to worry about me. I just want you to be happy. It doesn't matter how much I get hurt, as long as in the end something good can come out of it."
He stood up and kicked over the breakfast dish Tohru had brought him, running his hand over his face."God I don't even care anymore! I'm tired of worrying about you! Go to Akito, go on your stupid tour! Stay away from us and then maybe then you'll realize what a burden we've been to you! Get the hell away from us and enjoy the life you're supposed to have!" He looked back and scowled at her, "Your mom raised a fool! A fool just like her! Joining a Yankee gang and then having an air head daughter like you what a moron!"
Kyo hadn't expected what happened next. There was a hard slap that burned across his face, and the echoing sound of her hand making contact with his face filled the room. He'd never seen this face on Tohru. She'd been scared before, been sad before, but this face, wore unbearable pain. Her hand still hung mid-air after the slap, her eyes tearing and anger written all over her face.
"Kyo...how could you..." She whispered as tears ran down her face, " You can say what you want about me. You can insult Akito all you want too, but how could you say that about my deceased mother? Haven't you any heart at all Kyo? You know how important she was and still is to me! I am not a mistake, I am not a fool. She wouldn't be upset with me for trying to be with the people I love."
Kyo was still holding the left side of his face, throbbing still from her fierce slap, not saying anything as she cried in front of him. Tohru slowly was beginning to calm down, guilt from hurting anyone.
Tohru struggled with the locket around her neck, trying to pull it off, "If my memories get erased you have my permission to laugh. Laugh in my face even when I won't understand why! I'm sure that'll make you happy! You can run up to me and scream 'I told ya so' and I won't know who the you are, that will make you smile right? As long as you're happy Kyo."
Tohru sighed, " But don't say my mother was a fool. My mother was a wonderful person, and a wonderful mom who I miss everyday. She didn't do anything to hurt you, so please don't hurt her feelings. Kyo, if it is my fate to loose my memories then there's nothing I can do about it. As long as you're smiling in the end I promise I won't complain. I thought you were a friend, someone who knew me enough not to say that," Tohru finally got the latch to her necklace to open and she let the locket fall to the floor. Tohru ran out of the room, pulling the door shut a little to hard, causing the picture that sat on his dresser to fall and break.
Tohru ran down the stairs, blinded by her tears. She grabbed her coat and took off down the street towards Akito. If she lost her memories at least he'd be happy.
Kyo cringed as the door slammed shut and her picture fell to the floor. The glass frame shattered into a couple pieces and he bent over and began to pick up the broken pieces. Kyo was really pissed off with the way he had acted. Why had he just said all that ? What was the point in yelling all that at her? Yes he did worry about her, but damnit it had nothing to do with her mother! He felt the mirror in his pocket and growled in frustration. Why is it, what he meant to say, or what he was feeling, always came out contorted and wrong?
"Damn mirror..." He pulled it from his pocket and chucked it against his closet wall. The mirror broke, and combined with the broken glass frame on the floor.
Tohru ran father and farther until she reached the estate. Tohru was early and she had some time to kill before she wandered inside. She leaned against the doors of the estate, catching her breath and wiping her tears. She would not let Akito see this weakness in her.
She decided to take a walk over to the ice skating rink. Now it was spring of course, and naturally, the lake had melted. The hillside was covered with scattered violets and dandelions. She sat down beneath the tree where their picnic was, hugging her knees as she whimpered. "Kyo why do you hate me so much?" She rested her head into her knees and started to tear again, "Why am I only hurting them?" Such a beautiful scene had gone to waste, as Tohru's tears dampened the hillside.
Kyo sat in his room, looking at all the broken pieces. Should he tell Shigure what was going on? It would serve her right if she got her memory erased. Then again... "Kyo, I'm only telling because I trust you," Kyo picked up her locket and held it up to his lips and nose as he closed his eyes, he could still smell Tohru's lovely scent, and it was still warm from resting up against her skin. He hadn't meant for this to go so badly, as he was lost in thought, Momiji entered the room and gaped at what he saw.
Hatori opened the door and looked down, surprised yet again to see Tohru, "Miss Honda you should call ahead of time, Hiro and Kisa are in town I'm afraid."
Tohru didn't say anything, her eyes distended as she looked him in the eyes.
"Tohru...Tohru what's wrong?" He asked with concern as he wiped away a tear from her eyes.
"Just move aside Hatori, please, I've got an appointment with Master Akito today," Tohru told him softly, her words blunt, but underlined with compassion. She didn't want to hurt Hatori.
"Tohru what's going on? What are you not telling me?" Hatori asked as he was somewhat shoved aside.
Tohru turned and looked up at him with a smile of his face, "I thought that putting up with people you don't like was a good thing. I thought I was doing what mom wanted. Mom said there are hundreds of people out there, they might be your classmates, your business partners, or in-laws, in the end, what mom would tell me, was that I'd have to deal with them even if you don't like them or the way they act. I've dealt with that man the best I can, but there's a difference in putting up with people over being a pushover. He's gotten away with hurting you all for far too long. I'm just here to talk, just like he requested of me," Tohru walked through the gates and headed towards the library.
She hammered her fist on the door furiously, not stopping until she actually heard Akito get up and open the door, looking down at her, surprised, at the same time a sly smile coiled across his face. "Well, welcome little Tohru."
"Thanks Akito," She replied gently walking into the room. She heard him lock the door, and she heart gave a tug knowing she was trapped, "Kyo, I hope you're happy."
"Kyo?" Momiji's voice quivered. Kyo's eyes were still shut, his hands still wrapped firmly around the locket, "Why do you have Tohru's necklace Kyo-kun?"
Kyo turned to him, then looked away as he sat on the floor, "All I do is hurt that girl."
Kyo had given Tohru that locket promising he'd always protect her. Even after he attacked her she still told him that he was doing a good job. How could this be a good job?
Momiji walked into the room, his toe nudging against something, he looked down seeing glass to Tohru's picture on the floor. He frowned seeing something like this picture broken, Momiji knew how special this photo was to Kyo. He figured there had to have been a fight, that's why Kyo looked so sad.
Momiji got down on his knees and started picking up the pieces, "You two are so fickle. She cares about you so much Kyo, and you care about her too, yet you both end up fighting," Momiji smiled softly picking up another shard. Kyo simply grunted and looked the other way.
"You're worried about her because she's goes to Akito all the time. But you know, the only reason she'd ever go near him is so she can be part of this family. They say...blood is thicker than water..." He picked up another shard and started putting the frame back together like a puzzle over Tohru and Kyo's picture, "...But I know for a fact, that's a lie."
"So, do you know why I called you here Miss Honda?" Akito asked in a smug voice sitting down in his library chair.
"I can see you fixed the place..." Tohru mumbled, remembering how Kyo had destroyed it.
"Well Mr. Akito, on the phone you said you wanted to talk to me. But this might be a trap so you can get Hatori to erase my memories. He could easily be standing outside the door as we speak," she turned and looked at him, "With all due respect sir, can we not play games? You said you had to tell me something, so please, tell me."
"You've been called a fool before, by why don't you ever believe it?" Akito asked with diabolical eyes, "Are you in denial? You are aware of how much you've hurt you're family right?"
Tohru looked at the ground, "I know I've hurt them. The one thing I want, it's a goal very hard to accomplish, and a lot of hurt will come before I can achieve it. It's like getting past the gates of heaven, you have to live, you have to die, but when you get to heaven you know its all worth it."
Akito pulled out a strip of paper from the sleeve of his kimono, "You haven't won and you never will. I must say Miss Honda, it sounds like a challenge."
Tohru smiled guiltlessly and rubbed the back of her head, "You really are crazy Mr. Akito, that wasn't a challenge, just a little message for you. You want me to give up on the thought of being adopted, but I refuse to. I'll try my whole life, and I won't mind if I fail," She smiled again, "You hurt Kyo, remember that? Because of that one night, Yuki, myself, and Kyo were injured. But from that rubble we became stronger people. I may have cried that night, but I'm still here. I still haven't given up. You haven't won, you never will, I will keep on fighting."
Akito started to laugh softly, slowly it grew into loud laughter until it met a climax and he gazed at her between his fingers, "Oh my, you're such a fool. You're such a stubborn woman. This why men don't marry. You women are too head strong. Why do you think you'd ever fit in with us cursed men? Look at you, you're nothing but a frail parentless girl. What makes you think you can survive with us?"
"Haven't I survived so far?" Tohru answered quietly, "I've survived a lot of things, coping with death, dealing with rejection, injury after injury. Did I ever once complain? No, I just cried for them."
Akito stopped laughing and looked at her, gazing to the clock seeing a good chunk of time had passed, "Enough of this stupid talk. I could laugh at you until the end of time but that is not the reason why I called you here. I have one final proposition for you, if you complete this one thing, I will allow you to be adopted under Shigure's guardianship."
Tohru raised an eyebrow, but smiled, "Name it."
Kyo had found a new frame for his picture, and was putting the picture into the new one. When he finished, he stared down at the picture of Tohru and himself laughing. It was his favorite picture; her arms around his neck and him blushing as he looked away he genuinely smiling as her head rested against his. He ran his hand over the picture, You two are so fickle. She cares so much about you, and you care so much about her, yet you both end up fighting ,
"Tohru doesn't care about me Momiji, Yuki confessed his love to her, and they..." The horrible image of them together replayed in his mind and he cringed, "and they...I saw them..."
"Actions speak louder then words..." Momiji answered, looking at the still messy room, "That's not always true Kyo."
Kyo looked down at the picture, "How can that not be true? I saw them..."
Momiji shook his head and looked down at the picture of those two, "I know Tohru's actions speak louder then her words when you think about all she sacrificed, but her words have meaning too. Her actions have to have reasons, and those reasons are the words. Everything she does has a purpose, and sometimes the words are silent. I know she's put herself in danger, but she's not stupid, she's always had a reason and in her heart, that's all she needs,"
" That's why I want her to stay. She says what she believes in, then goes and does it. Don't you get that knuckle head? If you're still worried about her and Yuki why don't you ask her if she really loves him?" Momiji got up and walked out of the room, over his head calling back from the hallway, "You can't assume anything with her. She's mysterious like that."
"What do you want me to do Akito sir?" Tohru asked him quietly, desperate to get out of this home and get her job done.
"Choose," He told her slyly.
"Umm choose sir?" Tohru repeated confused.
"You either stay here with the Sohmas and leave that band forever, or you go with your band and tell no one in this Sohma clan. You can keep your memories, I will leave you with that burden and guilt. If you try and make contact with either group that you leave behind, I will have all your memories erased the Sohmas and your band combined! Those are your only two options. The band or the Sohmas, which shall it be?"
"But..." Tohru looked down and nodded, "Yes sir...I understand..."
A grandfather clock within the home chimed quietly and Akito smirked, "Well, I guess your hour is up. I'll come to your concert in a few days, I want your answer by then."
Tohru left the room quietly, the fire for revenge and determination had vanished all within those few words that had left his mouth. Hatori watched unhappily as she wandered by him without even a goodbye. The gate to the home shut quietly and she felt like she'd permanently been shut out of their lives forever. She walked along the streets quietly, her hands shoved into her pockets, her jacket billowing with the forlorn wind. It was like choosing between the two halves that made her whole. Either way, she was going to lose something she loved. But who was more important, the family that had been with her through all the pain, or the new family that has stolen her heart?
Go on your stupid tour! Stay away from us and then maybe then you'll realize what a burden we've been to you! Get the hell away from us and enjoy the life you're supposed to have! She shook her head as tears crept past the boundaries of her eyes, wiping them quietly. Tohru sulked home, opening the door to her home quietly, shutting just as silently with the click of the doorhandle. She wandered into the kitchen, throwing on her apron, and started on dinner. She hadn't noticed Haru or Yuki when she walked through the den. Heartache was the only thing she could feel as she stirred lunch. Haru sat on the couch, looking at Yuki, waiting. Yuki didn't move from his spot, but his eyes were filled with grief as well.
"Haru...can you go see...what's wrong with Tohru?" Yuki begged weakly.
Haru shook his head, "I want to know as much as you do, but you can't avoid her the rest of your life. Even Kyo tried, and that didn't work out for him."
Yuki pleaded with Haru, but Haru shook his head no again. Yuki rose from his spot and wandered into the kitchen. Yuki was confused, because he couldn't find Tohru by the stove. It was if Tohru had left the room, but as his eyes came down to the floor, he noticed the foot of someone sticking out from behind the counter. Behind the counter, buckled on the floor was Tohru, her arm gripping one of the cabinets for support as she tears slid down from her eyes.
"Tohru?" Yuki hurried over to her and knelt down on the ground beside her, "What's wrong Tohru? You aren't hurt are you?" Even if Yuki was hurting, he wouldn't stop worrying about Tohru either.
Tohru shook her head quietly, wiping her eyes trying to avoid the already embarrassing situation at hand, "I'm fine Yuki..." she turned and looked at him, giving a weak smile, "Honest I'm okay Yuki...I was just chopping unions," she tried to laugh, "What about you Yuki, are going to be okay?"
Yuki looked away and bit his lip, "It'll take some time for the pain to go away, but I know I'll never be over you. It's alright though, you not loving me back, deep down in my heart I already knew you belonged to someone else."
"Someone else?" Tohru repeated again confused, but Yuki only smiled and pulled her to her feet. She rested her head against his chest, not an embrace, but more her exhaustion. She tried not to cry even more as she began whispering to him, "I'm so sorry Yuki. I never wanted to hurt you, and I know this hurts a real lot. I'm so sorry Yuki, I'm so sorry."
"Ssshhhh. It's okay Tohru, I'll be okay," Yuki rubbed her back gently, "You'll figure it out eventually."
Kyo didn't leave his room for dinner that night. Tohru feared they had gone right back to the relationship they had last month, delivering food and maybe a thank-you. Shigure could see it was killing her, and something else that was on her mind. Tohru managed to smile all through dinner until she wandered up to her room. She pulled open the top draw of her dresser and pulled out a box. Lifting the lid she looked down at some pictures of her and Clarity. They were always laughing, and she never fought with them like she did with the Sohmas. They were always hugging her, always making her smile, always being very supportive. Tohru pulled out her photo album next, looking at the pictures of the Sohmas. The photo album spanned from before the Sohmas up to the current time. She smiled fondly as the pictures of her and Kira dancing, her band, the group shots of her Sohmas, Kyo and her, Yuki and her, the three of them.
"They all make me smile, they all love me, how am I supposed to choose?" She cried.
The next few weeks went on like that. Kyo, once again, did everything possible to avoid her while Tohru struggled not to break out crying every time she looked at a Sohma. She couldn't even console with Shigure on what to do when it came to her thoughts of Akito's proposition. The week of the fair arrived, Yuki was running around making the last preparations to the booth and Kyo was actually helping him build the stand. Tohru had rehearsal every night, which worked to Kyo's advantage.
((Sunday is the start of a week in my mind.))
Tohru was going upstairs to get her band stuff, she had rehearsal this Sunday afternoon, and walking to her room she saw the shadow of Kyo sitting on his bed. She knocked on the door lightly, and she watched him make no effort to open it.
She pressed her head against the door and sighed, "Why can't we ever get along Kyo? I never wanted us to fight. I never wanted to make you angry. Kyo...you know the festival's this week, and if I know you like I think I do, you'll be sitting here in your room away from everyone. Please Kyo can you come to my concert? It would mean...a real lot to me."
"You don't know me..." He answered her quietly.
He listened to her gasp in hurt, and then run away. He turned back to look at the locket, pressing it back against his lips and nose. Her scent was fading from it, and it had grown cold and bitter. Maybe that was what Kyo had become too, cold and alone.
Tohru bummed a ride from Hana and Uo to rehearsal. She walked into the building with a wave as Yue and the others approached her. Yue picked her up and spun her around before taking her down into a warm hug, "Hello Princess! Are you ready? This performance will change our lives"
"I think I'm ready..." Tohru answered with a giggle.
Tohru was placed on the ground and Kira slid his arm around her shoulder in an intimate and friendly manner, "So Tohru, do you know what songs you want to sing?"
Tohru nodded a yes slowly, "I have a few ideas," She walked over to the microphone, Tohru couldn't help but sigh as her mind wandered back to the decision she had to make, and the pain she was still feeling towards Kyo.
"I'm guessing those Sohma boys are giving ya some trouble?" Sora teased. Tohru looked up at Sora, Sora frowned seeing her sad face and he lifted her chin with his index finger, "What's wrong dear?"
Tohru frowned lightly, tears brimming the edges of her eyes again, "I know life is all about making choices, that's something mom told all of us. What happens when no matter the decision someone is going to get hurt? A lose-lose situation. What if in the end, not only are others hurt by the outcome of your decision, but I hurt myself as well? I know it's selfish to think of only me," she stumbled trying not to cry, "But, Oh Sora, I wish things had turned out differently."
Sora brought her into his chest and rested his head on hers gently, "Tohru dear calm down. Yes you're right, sometimes people make choices that are going to hurt everyone. Not all decisions have happy outcomes. I'm afraid that's part of the reality in life. It's okay that you don't want to be hurt, no one wants to feel hurt. But who are 'they' and what do you wish had turned out differently sweetie?"
"Yuki and Kyo...they both hate me now..." She whispered.
"Trouble in paradise?" Li asked walking over, Tohru nodded, "Did Yuki confess his feelings for you?"
"How did you know?" She gasped amazed.
Li smiled patting her head, "We all sort of had the feeling that was coming. Because you never faced that possibility heads on, you didn't know what to do," Li got down on a knee and took one of her hands, "Dear, I know you want to help people, and make them happy, but when it comes to love, you can't always do that."
"That's right. Love is a raw and powerful emotion. I know you love your Sohmas like you love us. But romantic love, is something that only one person can be given at a time. You understand Love?" Yue explained.
Tohru nodded slowly, "But how will I know that I love one of them?"
"Well, I never said you had to love either of them. To me, what love is, okay umm, the person you love makes you feel complete. You can laugh in front of them, cry in front of them, complain with them, enjoy good things with them. The person is totally accepting of everything you are, and everything your not. You feel...happy. It doesn't have to be Yuki or Kyo, but that's just what I think love is," Yue finished.
Tohru nodded and smiled, "I didn't used to cry this much, I'm such a girl sometimes," She wiped her eyes and giggled, "I think I'm ready to rehearse. It'll keep my mind off them," She wandered over to the practice mike and picked it up.
"Stand up straight, do your trick turn on the stars
Jupiter shines so bright when you're around
They tell us slow down, we're too young, you need to grow
Well speed's the key, and they don't know who we are"
Haru didn't bother knocking as he barged into Kyo's room. Kyo looked up from his spot and growled irritated, "What the hell is with everyone walking into my room? You , Momiji, Shigure, don't I get any privacy in this house?"
"No, you don't! You've abused privacy by becoming a hermit! You're always isolating yourself," Haru ran his hand through his white hair, "Look, Momiji told me what you told him, the stuff between you and Tohru..."
"Big mouthed rabbit..." Kyo grumbled.
"Look! I know you're worried sick about her and you're angry with her, but trust her judgement. You know she's doing this for us. If you can't trust her can you at least tell her why you're so angry?" Haru begged. Kyo looked away and growled.
"You're making her miserable! You have to tell her!" Haru yelled angrily.
"Tell her what?" Kyo screamed back.
"That you love her!" Haru answered. Kyo's eyes widened.
"Who's to say we're not good enough
Who's to say that this is not our love
Mother don't tell me friends are the ones
That I lose, Cause they'd bleed before you
Sometimes family are the ones you choose
It's too late now, I hold on to this life I've found
"Yuki? Yuki are you okay?" Shigure asked, finding the young lad staring out a window.
"Is being heartbroken okay Shigure?" He asked quietly, looking away from the window and the forest outside and into Shigure's eyes.
Shigure pat his back and sighed, "We all must face rejection. Then, when you find a better love, you'll learn to appreciate it more."
"No one...will ever be better than her."
And you say we're too young
But maybe you're too old to remember
And I try to pretend but I just feel it when we're together
And if you don't believe me you never really knew us
You never really knew
You and I packing up my room, we feel alright
But we're not welcome, Soon we'll be driving
Cause they don't know who we are
Kyo looked away from Haru, back to the pile of broken glass he had refused to pick up. The glass was like his sacred ground, the broken fragments of Tohru, "I don't love her."
Haru sighed and ran his hand over his face, "Look me in the eye!" Kyo obeyed. "Tell me, why are you so sad then? What happened to you that you're this miserable? Even when you hurt Tohru, you were sad, but this is a different hurt Kyo, we all can tell. Why are you hurting?"
"Because..." Kyo closed his eyes and looked at the pile. "Because I couldn't bear..."
"To see Yuki with Tohru?" Haru finished.
Kyo opened his eyes and nodded, "I don't know...what's wrong with me."
What is this...strange feeling?
"If you don't love her, at least don't hurt her like you are!"
Who's to say we won't stay together
Who's to say we aren't getting stronger
Who's to say I can't live without you
Who are they anyway, they don't know us
Haru stared at the contents of the broken mirror. Even though he knew it would annoy Kyo he wandered over and picked up a piece of the broken mirror. He flipped it in his hands, just looking at all the edges. He turned it onto his back and raised an eyebrow, "What do these letters on the back mean?"
Kyo's glaring face suddenly shifted to a surprised one, "What?"
Haru held up a piece and read it out loud, "The mirror's broken, so the only letter on this piece is an M and half of a Y."
Kyo got up and walked over to the pile and started to put the pieces together, Tohru, what did you write on the back of this?
And you say we're too young
But maybe you're too old to remember
And I try to pretend but I just feel it when we're together
Who's to say who's to say who are they anyway
Stand up boy, I shine so bright when you're around.
The boys finished out their cords and smiled looking at Tohru, "Wow, that was super, I really think you're on top of the game!"
Tohru blushed and rubbed the back of her head, "Aww thanks you guys!Look I've got to get home, there's a dinner that needs to be made! They're probably waiting for me!"
"Go ahead, we'll see you at the show!" Everyone waved goodbye to her as she dashed out the door.
Kyo finished putting all the pieces together, and Haru read it aloud, "My dawn and my dusk. What does that mean Cat?"
Kyo shrugged as he heard Tohru downstairs announce she was home, "I'm not sure," Kyo got up and left the room only to bump into Tohru. The traditional cloud of smoke followed and Tohru was down on her knees crying as she looked at him, "Oh I'm so sorry Kyo!"
Kyo didn't look at her at first, but when his ears picked up on the sound of her tears hitting the floor she turned and looked at her. It's...alright Tohru.
Tohru sniffled and wiped her eyes looking down at him, "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?"
No...I'm fine...don't worry about it.
"Do you want me to take your clothes back into your room for you?"
I'll go...
"What?"
I'll...go to your concert tomorrow. With that Kyo turned and walked back into his room, not really minding that he had left Tohru out in the hallway with her arms tightly wrapped around his clothes.Through her tears, she managed to smile.
Kyo changed back to normal after a short while, after getting dressed with new clothes since Tohru had the others, he climbed through his window, and wandered up onto the roof. "It's been a while since I've been up here..." He remembered New Years, and being on the roof with her. A lot of times, she'd come out here on the roof, to make sure he was alright. Even when he transformed, Tohru was the only one who went after him. She was always, keeping an eye on him, so why, did he yell at her like that?
Look me in the eye! Tell me, why are you so sad then? What happened to you that you're this miserable? Even when you hurt Tohru, you were sad, but this is a different hurt Kyo, we all can tell. Why are you hurting?
He ran his hand over his eyes and sighed, "Tohru...what am I going to do?" He pulled out the mirror, now taped back together so he could read the words, "My dawn and my dusk..." He mumbled softly. Without realizing it he closed his eyes and was asleep on the roof for the rest of the night, good thing it was spring.
Tohru woke up early as usual, perky and yet forlorn. She had to make her decision today. She bit back tears thinking about it, was she really going to leave, without a goodbye? Was she really going to abandon them? Would she never see them again? And which "them" would it be?
She started up some curry and stir fry as Shigure walked into the room. He sat down and she handed him the paper, "Thanks Flower," He smiled gently. She melted, and rested her head on top of his sighing, "What's wrong Flower?"
"Nothing's wrong Dad...I'm just so happy...that...you love me," Tohru smiled as she closed her eyes. She could smell the usual aroma of her cooking on his clothes, and at the same time incense from his room and ink from all his writing.
"And I always will Flower. I'm going to enjoy watching you blossom into a beautiful woman. You're everything I ever wanted in a daughter, and even more," He cooed, rubbing the side of her face, "I'm coming to your concert today, I couldn't miss your performance. I'm looking forward to it."
She smiled sleepily as she rested against him, "I'm glad."
Haru and Momiji were the first two to enter the kitchen, a little strange for them to beat Yuki, but she smiled none the less and slid their bowls in front of them, "TorTor, me and Haru have front row seats! We're going to watch you sing."
"Yeah, we're also doing it cause then we don't have to sell make those funnel cakes," Haru grinned, "I'm sure Momiji would eat all the powdered sugar and get the worst sugar rush."
Tohru laughed, "I'm touched! Don't worry Momiji, I'll make sure to buy you some funnel cake."
"YAY cake!" Momiji grinned and everyone laughed.
"Well we're certainly a giggle-filled bunch this morning," Yuki commented walking in. He looked at Tohru and smiled. His violet eyes a little brighter compared to yesterday. He watched Tohru as she moved around, glowing in all her glory. Even if you don't love me, I'll always love you. As long as you're still here, I'll manage these feelings. As long as you're here for me, I'll keep smiling.
Tohru smiled and ran her hand through his hair as she leaned over and gave him his dish, "Thank you Yuki," she whispered happily. Yuki smiled too, and whispered back 'Your welcome'
Tohru looked up seeing Kyo enter the kitchen, there was another frown on his face, and it looked like there was hurt in his eyes as they dilated into huge rubies He was staring at the somewhat affectionate embrace Tohru and Yuki were sharing. He didn't say anything, and sat down at his usual seat as she handed him soup. Because I couldn't bear...To see Yuki with Tohru? If you don't love her, at least don't hurt her like you are!
What is this strange feeling? Kyo sighed and shoved a mouthful of food down his throat.
After everyone ate, they grabbed their books, at made their way to school. Tohru took her time saying goodbye to Shigure, thanking him again, for being her father. Although Shigure was flattered, he called up Hatori afterwards, confused on what this foreboding feeling was taunting him.
When Tohru and the others made it to the gate of the school she was immediately directed into the building to get ready. She didn't have time to explore the fair, much to her dislike. The parking lot and grassy areas had overnight be converted to a street way filled with stands. Some served food, others wanted you to knock over bottles, catch koi, and other fun games.
Inside, Tohru was directed to her dressing roomwhere the rest of Clarity was throwing on their show clothes. Tohru changed behind a veil draped for her and reappeared almost instantly in a white dress, the dress had blotches of pink on them, each in the form of a cherry blossom. Tohru's outfit went perfectly with the springtime colors that lingered outside. Everything was in bloom, and the students were abuzz with excitement.
"Are you ready to perform in front of all your classmates?" Kira asked as he helped her put on a silver necklace.
"I guess as ready as I'll ever be." The real question, is am I ready, to make my decision? Tohru tried to smile as she stared into the mirror, combing her hair. Tohru was mid swipe through her hair when she stopped, "Who am I?" she whispered quietly. She was Tohru, Tohru Honda, same brown hair, same blue eyes. Behind the makeup it was still Tohru right? Tohru still tried to smile again, but she felt fake. "I want them to be happy, above all, I want them to be happy."
"Kyo?"
"Yes Haru?" A grumpy Kyo growled as he flipped over the fried down that he was frying.
"Did you ever figure out how you feel?" Haru asked standing beside him flipping his own.
"Nope," Kyo answered blandly.
"You're just going to let her go?" Haru asked in shock.
"Yup," He answered again blandly.
The musical presentation by the local band Clarity will begin in fifteen minutes. Start getting your seats kids!
Kyo looked up as he listened to the loudspeaker's announcement. Haru nudged him gently and grinned, "Why don't we go? I know Momiji's already there waiting for us."
"I'll be there in a second, go on without me, I made a promise to her I'd come anyway."
Haru walked off and Kyo took his time finishing up his last orders. He threw off his apron and stand hat he was given and walked out from the stand after Kei took over. He was walking through the stands when someone stopped him, "Interesting, I just keep running into gloomy people don't I?"
Kyo looked up to see Akito separating from the crowd. Kyo instantly growled, glaring at him, "What the hell are you doing here Akito?"
"Why, I'm here to see the little fool perform," Akito grinned, "Shall we get going? According to my watch she starts in ten minutes."
Kyo growled and pushed ahead, shoving Akito, who only laughed, "Once a fool, always a fool."
Momiji and Haru took their seats in the front, of course Uo-chan and Hana-chan were there beside them, no way they'd miss their best friends performance. Shigure sat in their row was well, he trying very hard to keep his attention on the stage and not all the highschool girls around him. Namura-san came out, they'd ask someone to introduce the band and Namura being the favorite teacher, was nominated.
"How you all doing today?" Namura called out lifting a hand to his ear. The whole audience roared, "Well that's more like it, I wish you'd be this excited in the classroom. Anyway, our musical performance today on this lovely White Day is by a local band named Clarity. As you've all heard from the rumors, their lead singing is none other than our very own Tohru Honda. According to more rumors, she's been invited on tour and record deal with her band! Isn't that great?" The whole audience roared again, "Now think, you get to listen to her perform for free, in a few months it'll cost you a fortune! Well here they are, our special guests, Clarity!"
Here we go...Tohru ran out onto the stage waving as her dress billowed with the slight breeze. "Thanks for having us here and I hope you're enjoying the great day! These are some of my closest friends and fellow band members; on drums YUE, on keyboard SORA, on bass LI, and my partner in crime with vocals, KIRA!" The boys ran out onto stage waving and smiling too, the whole audience was high on the excitement.
"We're going to start off with an old favorite!" Tohru grabbed the mike and waited before she started.
"Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promise each other it's til the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles
It's the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No, I can't resist the day
Jenny screams out and it's no pose
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes
Beer through the nose on an inside joke
I'm so excited, I haven't spoken
And she's so pretty, and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her
The summer's all in bloom
The summer is ending soon
It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's cracked leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last
It's alright
And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses
My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake
Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lie, put my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses
And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep
In white houses x3
Akito watched in the back of the audience with a smirk, resting his head against his chest, "I guess she's decided. I hope you all enjoy her decision Sohmas," Akito turned and walked off.
Tohru went on to sing four more songs and she finally came to her finale, "This one is for a very important person in my life, but he doesn't know it."
You light me up and then I fall for you
You lay me down and then I call for you
Stumbling on reasons that are far and few
I'd let it all come down and then some for you
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
Pretty baby why can't you see
You're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
For you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound
As long as you keep comin' around, oh pretty baby
And I know things can't last forever
But there are lessons that you'll never learn
Oh just the scent of you it makes me hurt
So how's it you that makes me better
Chorus
Why can't you hold me and never let go
When you touch me it is me that you own
Pretty baby oh the place that you hold in my heart
Would you break it apart again... oh pretty baby
Chorus
Pretty baby, why can't you see
Pretty baby, don't you leave me
Pretty baby, why can't you see
Pretty baby, don't you leave me,
Pretty Baby
My Pretty Baby
My Pretty Baby
Don't you leave me fade
The whole audience was screaming and cheering as Tohru and the boys took their bows. Tohru took hold of the mike one last time and smiled, "Now boys, it's White Day, make sure you get something really nice for girlfriends, alright? And even if they aren't perfect, love them anyway," Tohru winked and took another bow with the band and Kira hugged her tight by the waist.
Tohru walked backstage and sat down in front of the mirror. In the background the four boys are jumping with each other spinning in circles laughing and screaming so happy, they didn't notice Tohru covering her eyes crying softly. "I'll be alright...I'll be alright..."she told herself, not believing it for a second.
The school day/fair was over after Tohru's performance. Everyone had to go back and clean up the stand, Yuki taking the burden of working with Kyo and Haru. Shigure was chased home by his editor, begging her not to eat him.
"How'd we get on cleanup duty?" Kyo grumbled.
"You cut so many days of school you needed the credit to get a good grade," Yuki answered.
"Alright shut up," Kyo shot back, "I mean..." Kyo thought for a moment, this was saving his sorry ass in the end. "Thanks Rat...I guess."
"Whatever, Tohru asked me to do it," Yuki replied pulling out a nail.
"Tohru?" He looked at the ground thinking aloud as he repeated her name.
"She's always doing things to keep you out of trouble. She goes out of her way to make sure things turn out alright for you. She wants everyone to be happy, especially you after what Akito did," Yuki added pulling off another board and then throwing it into the trash, "Not that you deserve that. You treat her like shit."
"Shut up!" Kyo glared, "Don't make me beat the crap out of you!"
"Both of you, knock it off!" Haru hit them both over the head. Both boys grumbled and rubbed the tops of their heads. "Stupid rat...stupid cat..." Haru muttered picking up trash.
Momiji wandered backstage and bumped into Kira. Kira looked down at him and smiled, "Oh hey, I remember you, you're little Momiji. You were at the ice cream parlor once."
"Yeah! That's me!" Momiji grinned "Is TorTor here still?"
"TorTor?" He slaps his forehead, "Duh you mean Tohru. She's backstage in her dressing room kiddo. Go ahead, I'm sure she won't mind."
"Thankies!" Momiji grinned and skipped backstage. He found Tohru's little dressing station; she was asleep against her desk, her eyes were red. Momiji frowned, confused at why she had been crying. Maybe she was just really happy at the outcome of the performance, yeah, that was it, it had to be it. A great way to start of her new pop singing career, a good performance. As he walked over to her, he found a funnel cake heart next to her and a bunny shaped card for Momiji. He smiled and tried not to cry, he'd miss his sister so much. He rubbed her back, "Hey Tohru, we got to get home."
Tohru lifted her head and blushed, "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry Momiji! I fell asleep oh dear!" She looked around quickly and found his cake, "See a funnel cake like I promised. If you want I can make you better one at home. I'm so sorry Momiji!" She blushed frantically.
Momiji just smiled and wrapped his arms around her, popping into a bunny in her arms, Don't worry TorTor. I'm just glad you're happy again.
Tohru whimpered and nuzzled her face against his as she got up from the chair and carried him outside. Momiji began nibble happily on the funnel cake. She wandered over to the remains of the stand where the boys were waiting, large black garbage bags at their feet. "Wow, you all work really fast!" Tohru smiled gently.
"Why is Momiji a bunny?" Yuki asked pointing at him.
Tohru just giggled and looked down at him, kissing the top of his head, "He just wanted a ride."
The Sohmas returned home and Tohru found an unmarked manilla colored envelope on the ground waiting for them. She picked it up and walked inside with it. She sent Momiji up to bed, tired from the loss of sugar after being hyper. She sat down on the couch and slid open the envelope. She pulled out the contents, and there they were, the adoption papers. Tohru felt the tears rolling down her eyes as she ran into Shigure's study. He was in the middle of typing and looked up surprised to see her there, "Hello Flower, what's wrong?"
Tohru was so happy it took a few minutes for her words to come out "I know White Day the boys are supposed to give gifts. I guess I got mine. I thought you should know."
Shigure raised an eyebrow, confused at what she was trying to get at. Tohru held the adoption papers out to him, "And now I'm giving my gift to you, so we can share it together."
Shigure got up from his chair and took the papers reading over them carefully, "My god, this is really it. He signed them and everything. Tohru you did it!" Shigure smiled, wiping away the tears that were getting stuck against the frame of his glasses. He found a pen and quickly walked into the kitchen, grabbing her and calling for the boys.
Mostly the boys grumbled at being woken up, but when they saw what it was, no one cared. Shigure took the pen and signed it quickly and handed the pen to Tohru. For a minute, Tohru stared at all of them. She'd finally be a Sohma. Daughter to Shigure, cousins to Yuki and Kyo, cousins to Haru and Momiji, more like a sister to Haru and Momiji. This was what she had wanted all along, why did it feel, empty? Tohru shook the thoughts from her mind and signed it quickly, smiling as she finished her name. "I'm so glad, that everyone's happy."
Kyo was leaning up against the wall, watching as Tohru signed the papers. This sealed her fate right, that meant she wasn't leaving? Come to think of it, wasn't Tohru supposed to announce her decision at the show today? It was weird for Tohru to forget something as important as that. She signed the papers, and now she was smiling. She had to be staying, after all she did and went through with Akito. She wouldn't just give all this up, have all her work mean nothing. Kyo sighed and trudged up to his room. No one minding, only she noticed his absence.
After all the excitement, everyone retreated to their beds. Today had been a very eventful and life altering day for everyone. Momiji and Haru slept almost instantly, Yuki fell asleep midway through a novel, and Shigure was off with his perverted fantasies. Kyo didn't fall asleep that quickly, but he did around 1 am. When Tohru knew the boys were asleep, she walked over to her closet and pulled out a suitcase. One by one she pulled clothes from their hangers throwing them into the bag. She closed the door to her room and walked out, the last thing she saw, was Kyoko's smiling face on the desk.
She left her bag in the hall, and walked into Haru's room. She stared at him as he slept, smiling as she ran her hand through his hair. "I remember the night I met black Haru, and how scared you were when you returned to your normal self. That was one interesting birthday wasn't it Haru? You were so afraid, and I was too. Now look at us, we're closer than I think anyone would imagine," she smiled softly and pulled away her hand, " The darkness in you is completely gone, and I'm very happy for you. You've been a great brother Haru, thanks."
Tohru wandered into Yuki's room and stared down at him, "You know I never meant to hurt you Yuki. I do love you, just not romantically, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for hurting you like that," she whispered quietly a goodbye, and walked out of his room too.
Tohru walked into Shigure's room, a room she'd never seen. Shigure was sleeping peacefully, and she was choking on tears with every step she took. She sank to her knees and rested her head against his neck and smiled, "It started out as just an agreement didn't it? As long as I kept the secret and did all the house work, you'd let me stay. Just a way to keep me out of the rain right? It evolved into something so much more. I am so happy to be your daughter, but I know I don't deserve it. I'll be back Shigure, please don't hate me forever."
It was hard for Tohru to go into the last bedroom, knowing Kyo was in there. She did anyway, and first climbed up the bunk bed to look at Momiji. His sheets and comforter were thrown off sloppily and she smiled. She draped them back over him and smiled, "You always did know how to make me laugh Momiji. No matter how much I was crying, you'd always make me smile. You aren't naive like Kyo or other people think, you're compassionate. You know pain hurts, you know that far too well and yet, you're always making me smile. I love you little Momiji."
Tohru tried not to cry as she looked at Kyo. She checked to make sure he was sleeping; waving her hand in front of his eyes, and blowing her warm air on his face to see if he'd twitch. After she had confirmed it, she slumped down next to his bed and watched him. He really was so much calmer and at ease when he slept. Watching him was unbearable, after the unreconciled fights and words thrown back and forth. She stared at him for a long time, until she found something being squeezed in his hands.
She uncoiled his soft hands carefully, finding her locket inside of them. She took the locket by the chain and stared at it, "How stupid of me, to throw you away like that mom. I'm sorry," she watched the locket turn in little circles as she held it in front of her face. Tohru turned back to Kyo, "I never could stay mad at you Kyo. I know we said things we can't take back even if the feelings of anger and pain aren't there anymore. I understand that you wanted to protect me...more, that's what I believe you were trying to do when you yelled at me. It doesn't matter anymore," She got up from her spot on the floor and leaned over to double check he was sleeping.
She ran her hand through his hair once and then softly kissed his forehead, holding her lips there for brief moment before pulling away again, "You're forgiven Kyo-kun. Maybe in a few years, you'll be able to forgive me too."
In Kyo's current sleeping position he had long since abandoned his pillow to sleep against his mattress. She rested her head against his pillow, closing her eyes, and then opened them back up, "I always wanted to know what the first thing you saw was." Tohru closed her eyes remembering the day they talked about, around Christmas time.
She stroked his cheek once and slowly got up, "The first thing I see, and the last thing I see, the one person who's most important. Goodbye...Kyo," Tohru walked out into the hallway.
She carried her bag downstairs and outside, locking the door, shoving the key through the mail drop window. "I'm sorry for this, and I hope you all continue to be very happy even without me."
Hearing the door downstairs click, Kyo's eyes opened. As he began to realize what was at least going on, leaving his dreamlike state of mind, he found the locket wasn't in his hands anymore. He looked around in his bed, hoping, praying, he had accidentally dropped it. "Crap..." It was no where to be found. Kyo distinctly remembered falling asleep with it in his hands, like always. Maybe he dropped it, he threw his head over the side of the bed and looked under. Unfortunately all he found was a lot of dust and a few lonely socks from the Jurassic age. His alarm clock was flashing one thirty and he sighed. He could always find it later, when he wasn't tired.
He laid back on his pillow, sighing because he was worried. It was then, he saw a folded piece of paper tacked onto the top of the bunk-bed. His name was on it, and judging by the flowing letters, it was from Tohru. He pulled it from the material and held it in his hands. Was this some sort of weird game? Tohru never did seem sane. He unfolded it carefully and his eyes started to follow the words.
Don't blink
Or I might be gone
Running off with the wind
Leaving behind sweet memories
Hold me tight in your embrace
Keep the darkness far away
As long as you're still breathing
My heart will still be beating
Skipping a beat each time you lay your eyes on me
Ruby eyes, and a soft smile
Don't blink
Or I might be gone
Waking up from a dream
Leaving behind sweet memories
Fantasies of a boy that'll never be mine.
My dawn and dusk, I love you
"My dawn and my dusk, I love you..." Kyo repeated slowly, he could almost hear her voice.
What did this note have to do with anything? He hadn't had a real conversation with her in over a week. Sure he said he'd go to the concert, but that couldn't have been more than ten words to the poor girl. He rubbed his eyes, "It's too early to be thinking this much!" He growled rubbing his eyes again. What the hell did that mean, 'My dawn and my dusk' it was just like what was written on the mirror... The mirror! Kyo bolted up. It was the same thing written on the mirror. He ran over to the dresser and found the taped up mirror.
He compared the writing styles, they were exactly the same. Okay, so they meant the same thing. Maybe Tohru just liked the times they had spent together, like dawn for New Years eve, and dusk for the nights he spent in the hospital with her. Yeah...that made sense. She loved the memories she had with him, even though he was a jack-ass now.
Well, this was stupid. What kind of game was Tohru playing? Maybe she was trying to make him feel guilty for what he had said. Yeah, this was just one of those thing Tohru did to get you to understand from another persons perspective. "Well...this was a waste of time..."
Kyo got back into bed and stared at the mirror. He folded up the paper and put it inside, closing the mirror and resting it against his chest. For a while, he just stared at the black of the top bunk as the mirror rose and fell with each breath he took in. He had lost the locket, and yet he had gotten a mysterious poem in the middle of the night from Tohru. Maybe Tohru had taken the locket in exchange for the note. It was like a game right, for every clue you gain you had to pay a price?
Then it suddenly came back to him, why she had pinned the note on the top of the bunk bed. That's right, on Christmas eve! On Christmas eve she had turned down the hallway and knocked into Kyo when he had all his presents. She put the gifts downstairs, and he rode on her shoulder as she took him upstairs. It was the first time she'd ever been in their room! That's right, she'd even made a comment on Sensei.
Flashback
"What are you doing?" He asked her confused and irritated as she laid on the bed and looked up at the bunk above him.
"I want see what you see the first minute you open your eyes, and the first thing you see when you close them," Tohru looked at his ceiling "You see a lot of black, you should put something there you really like, that way, you'll be happy when you sleep and happen when you wake up," Tohru traced her fingers along the top of his ceiling, aka the bottom of Momiji's bunk bed.
"Sometimes I really do think you're crazy you know that Tohru? I mean who really cares what the first thing or the last thing I see is? Doesn't it matter what I'm thinking about, that's what's important?" He scratched his head confused
"I guess it isn't that important..." Tohru trailed off thinking about it "I'm just curious I guess," there was then a puff of white smoke and Tohru screamed covering her eyes before she could see anything.
Kyo threw on his clothes relatively quickly, but he stood in the center of his room looking at her, her hands over her eyes, just lying there on his bed. He crept onto the bed, the bed sagging from their combined weight, he crawled over until he loomed above her, looking down at her,
"Tohru...its okay now..." he told her gently. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him silently. She didn't want to say anything and she just stared up at his face and orange hair, "Every minute that I close my eyes, or open them up again, I think about this house. This house, that's filled with all these people, who might actually care about me, and in this house is, is you Tohru, and I know, that you care,"
Tohru smiled softly, she still was at a loss for words. He allowed his hand to stroke her cheek just once still gazing down into her eyes "Before you came along, this house was a wreck, we fought, never cleaned, it made me feel like I didn't even matter, that if I disappeared off the face of this earth, no one would notice it for a second. But...I was wrong," Kyo looked away slightly "You made me, appreciate them more, and open up to them more...I guess what I'm trying to say is, thanks Squirt," Their faces were so close...
"Every morning, I see this house, and every night, I leave it to dream. After mom died, I felt really alone, even my grandfather's house felt lonely and distant. But everyone here, Shigure, Haru, Momiji, Yuki, you, you've all made me feel like I was part of a family again. Every time I close my eyes, I see everyone...but the first one I see..."
"Is it me? Is it me she sees? She sees the house and all the people inside, but she said she sees one person before everyone else, the one most important. Am I that person? Is that what she means by Dawn and Dusk? That first person, is the dawn and dusk. Does that mean she loves me?
Wait a minute, her Valentine's gift was an actual mirror. He'd been focusing so much on the words he forgot the purpose of the actual mirror!
Flashback
"Kyo... you were born on your own...your mom and dad...with you came the curse. It's like a the story of the perfect angel. A little angel was born on an autumn night. She was born with beautiful white wings , so beautiful that everyone loved to stare and admire her. But that angel was sad...eventually she faded away...do you know why? People couldn't see her past the wings...they couldn't see the girl who was standing there right in front of them, just the shiny wings..." Tohru winced slightly as she took in a breath. "I don't pity her."
His monster eyes widened with confusion.
"Kyo...you have the monster, but you're more than just the monster, just as the girl is more than the wings. I see you Kyo...you're in there somewhere. That little girl died, without ever trying to show her true colors. She should have tried. Don't let those people see the monster Kyo, make them see the real you the one I see everyday," Tohru's voice was growing softer, the rain still pelting against her as she held the locket in her hand. Her hands slowly rested down against her chest and closed her eyes.
Kyo opened up the mirror and stared at his reflection, he stared long and hard, and for the first time, he only saw himself. There was no cat in the background and no devilish eyes to haunt him. It was just simple orange haired Kyo. This was what Tohru saw. "So it really is me..."
Kyo closed the mirror and ran his hand over the poem again, absorbing the words of endearment for the first time. He accidently smeared the ink in the process. Wait...if the ink is still wet, that means it had to have been written recently right? Kyo ran from his room and quickly shuffled into Tohru's. He looked around, her bed made, Kyoko's picture still here, he opened the closet, and found all the clothes were missing. Don't tell me she left...
She must've left to go on tour with them! But why hadn't she said anything? It didn't make sense why she had left Kyoko's picture behind. Maybe if she left the photo behind, it meant she wouldn't be gone forever. No matter, if he stood around here in her room like a useless lump he'd never know!
Kyo threw on his blue sweatshirt and ran downstairs to the front door. He found her key on the floor and he picked it up, "Tohru no..." He threw open the front door, and took off down the street, in the rain, towards the train station. "I have to know...I have to know what I mean to her'
"Are you almost ready miss, the train leaves in a few minutes?" The train conductor asked Tohru. She was sitting on one of the benches staring down at her locket, train ticket sitting on her lap. Tohru looked up at him, and he smiled, pointing at the picture of her and Kyo, "Seems as though you've got a boy waiting for you at home. Going to go see him?"
Tohru shook her head, "No, leaving him behind."
The man frowned, tugging on his white whiskers and sighed, "Well miss, the train leaves in five minutes, I'd get yourself ready if I were you."
"Yes sir," Tohru replied. She rose from her spot and threw the necklace on around her neck. She slowly, began to wander over to the boarding area.
Kyo ran up to the ticket booth, panting and out of breath.
"Can I help you sir?" The women behind the glass asked.
"Look, I need to get back there...my...Tohru's there...I gotta talk to her..." He panted, his hand firmly grasping the counter.
"I'm sorry sir, you can't go back there unless you have a ticket," The woman answered in a mono-tone voice.
"Lady...you don't understand...I have to see her..." Kyo begged.
"I'm sorry sir, but if you don't have a ticket I can't let you back there. Would you like to purchase one?"
Kyo didn't have any money, he was out of luck. He sank to his knees, allowing his vision to go foggy from the tears. He couldn't let her go, he couldn't.
"I don't love her."
"Look me in the eye! Tell me, why are you so sad then? What happened to you that you're this miserable? Even when you hurt Tohru, you were sad, but this is a different hurt Kyo, we all can tell. Why are you hurting?"
"Because...Because I couldn't bear..."
"To see Yuki with Tohru?" Haru finished.
"I couldn't bear to see her with him, I can't bear to see her go. That's cause...that's cause I love her" he cried softly.
"Sir, I do believe you dropped your ticket," The conductor smiled, holding him half of the ticket, the other half proof it's been verified, "Now let's get going, the train's leaving any minute."
Kyo stared at the conductor, stared at him with the white whiskers. Why was this random dude helping him out? The man just smiled and nudged his head towards the train as the final whistle began to call. "Your girlie is out there, I'd hurry if I were you."
Kyo got up and jumped over the entrance and ran through the station. He jumped over the gate and kept on running, there weren't any people here, too early, so he sprinted through the empty corridors and down the stairs to the loading platform. When Kyo made it to the loading strip he started looking for Tohru. First he looked to the lef, and then to his right, finding no one there. At the last minute he saw a girl's brown hair pass onto the train. "Tohru?" He sprinted down towards the end of the train hoping it was her.
When he got to the spot, the train was already staring to pull out. It wasn't her, it was just a grown woman with the same colored hair. She'd seem shorter from farther away. "Damn it!" The train howled one final time. "Damn it! Tohru wait!"
As the train escalated in speed Kyo stopped running halfway down the loading strip. Kyo knew it was over now, she was gone. This had been her decision. Tohru never told anyone where she was actually going with her band. She said she'd go make a Cd, then go on tour, but there were never any specifics to the locations.
Now he'd never know if Tohru loved him, and now he'd never be able to tell her how he felt. He sat down on a bench and closed his eyes as he let his hands hang between his legs, "Damn...this isn't right...I shouldn't have let her go...I shouldn't argued...why did she leave?"
Kyo rubbed his eyes, and for a moment sat in his silent wallowing.
"I knew it would make Akito happy, and I thought you'd be happy too. That's why I decided it would be best if I left," a timid voice called out to him, "You said you wanted me to go, go on the tour 'and realize what a burden you were'. Even though I didn't want to go, I'd leave if it would prove to you how much you and the family meant to me."
Kyo sat up and turned around, seeing Tohru at the top of the stairs, her bag at her side, tears pouring down her face. He was too stunned to say anything.
"But as I sat there waiting for the train, I started thinking about all that we've been through. That was when I realized, what was important to me. Clarity had my back before mom died, and even after I moved into your home. But when I did move in, it wasn't them who held me when I cried, nor told me it was okay, or stayed with me at the hospital. It was you Kyo, you were the one who has always been there for me," She left the protection of the overhang into the rain and made her way down the stairs, leaving her bag back up at the top, "That's why I left you all those messages. I was too afraid to say it to your face, because I'm not very good at expressing how I feel. I'm not good at telling people what I want..."
" No matter the pain I went through, no matter how many things people told me to do, Kyo you were the only one who said I could do what I wanted to do. You told me to be selfish, and you didn't mind if I complained or cried. I know we fought a lot. Heck we had enough drama in the house to make a soap opera. You hated that I wanted to go to Akito's, you hated the danger I was willing to put myself in for you and the Sohmas. Yet, even though you were afraid, you let me go. You knew my happiness was more important than my safety, in some twisted way."
"Tohru..." He got up off the bench and stared at her. His orange hair was flat against his head, the rain coming down hard as he stared at her. Her hair was dripping wet too, sticking to her shoulders and her pink shirt and jeans soaked through. She never looked more beautiful in his eyes.
"Record deals are one of a kind and they don't come around that often, but people you fall in love with don't grow on trees either. I realized that too, sitting right there on that bench just like you were," She smiled and pointed to the bench, "I want to stay here, with the Sohmas. That is... if you'll allow me Kyo..." she stopped at the bottom stair and looked up at him, "I know I'm kind of klutzy, I make a lot of mistakes, I put myself in danger and sometimes I don't think straight, I hum when I'm happy, and cry a lot when I'm sad...and..."
"...None of that matters," Kyo whispered softly as he approached her slowly, "...I keep my emotions locked up inside of me. I avoid thinking about things that don't make sense. I deny my truest feelings because someone else is proving me wrong. I have a foul temper, and I argue a lot...but..." he smiled gently and stroked the side of her face "But as long as I have you, I don't care how imperfect I am..."
Tohru buried her head into his chest and took hold of his hands, "I love you Kyo..."
Kyo kissed the side of her head and took in a breath of her beautiful scent, "I love you too Tohru."
Tohru lifted her head and stared up into his soft eyes, water dripping down his face, "I'm sorry we fought before. I'm sorry I made you sad, I won't ever try to leave, not ever again."
Kyo smiled, euphoric and in-love, he leaned in and kissed her gently. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he cradled the back of her head as they held their kiss in the vacant train station, not caring if a poof was going to follow.
Dusk turned to dawn, the two of them came home together. Hand in hand, they both smiled, never so happy to hear the sound of their chaotic Sohma family inside.
"I forgot to make them breakfast," Tohru giggled as she listened to the screams inside. She felt Kyo squeeze her hand and she turned to face him.
"I think they can wait a little longer," Kyo told her softly, as he stole her lips one more time.
Together they held their kiss as if time didn't matter, the way it was supposed to be. Leaving the world behind for the briefest moment, just so they could be in each others arms and in their warmth. His caring arms wrapped around her small frame as she wrapped her arms around his neck, tears finally ending as the sun began to peak through the empty rain clouds. There would never be a feeling as wonderful as this; love without worry nor despair.
When they got inside, they would have a lot of explaining to do.
Author's Notes:
Well, that's it ladies and gents. It's been fun, and I've learned a lot throughout these 45 chapters.
I'm forever in your debt for all the support and wonderful reviews. I'm sorry it took so long to write, thirty pages on my computer, I had to put a lot of careful time and planning into it. That's why it took nearly 3 weeks. I went through many days of editing to make sure it came out perfect.
I know there's something I left out in my story, whether or not the curse was really broken. They do only just hug once at the end very of the story. Tohru did wrap her arms around Kyo's neck when they kissed the first time, but I decided that didn't count as a hug.
There is a time period between being at the train station embrace and being at Sohma home, so it lets your imagine wander just a little. You also noticed I left a cliff-hanger like ending. It just gives you some stuff to think about. I'm also considering a sequel.
So, as you review the final chapter to Love Snare, please let me know if you'd like a sequel. There is a lot more I could still write about, like the curse being broken, Kagura coming back, what happened to her band, and even more Akito's reaction after Tohru chooses to stay with the 'cursed family'.
I hope you liked my story, and I really enjoyed writing it
Later
Aki-Shinko —