24. Call and Answer

"Excuse me, Lady Jedi, but may I sit with you?" The brunette's presence put knots in my stomach. I nodded. Her eyes were kind. Her brown hair was pulled into a high ponytail. Her face was round and glowed. I couldn't help but smile. I had missed talking with people.

"You look familiar," I said quietly. No one had sought my company since I had forsaken my friends.

"I was a Jedi, like you." She replied. "I was exiled for following Revan in the Mandalorian Wars." I blinked slowly.

"What is your name?" I asked, trying to place her.

"Leia Omas." For a second, I thought she was going to say "Onasi." My stomach plunged to the ground. I'm whipped. Dammit, Canderous was right. I smiled at the thought of my long-lost friend. I quickly remembered where I'd heard her name.

"It's good to see you again, General." I smiled slowly. "I'm Revan – Ciara Onasi." Her eyes widened. I allowed myself to smile further.

"You look different." She said slowly, as though in awe. I wanted to tell her to forget any ideas of grandeur she had about me, but I didn't want to verify any suspicions that I was conceited by assuming she worshipped me.

"I'm not wearing that hideous mask." I grinned. She laughed. "The Council changed my looks as well as my identity to protect me. I decided I could protect myself, so I started calling myself Revan again. It made things less confusing when I was dealing with things out here."

"I was told to give you a message." Leia said hesitantly. "I thought I'd never find you." My lower lip quivered. My discipline was faltering. I tried to focus on my breathing, but I was dying to hear what she had to say. I'd become a bigger sap than I ever thought possible. I tried not to think about it, it only disgusted me.

That's it, I'm coming after you. It was clearer and louder than my own voice.

"Carth?" I whispered.

"Yes, the Admiral – Carth – he told me, in a roundabout way, that he loved you, but I didn't know you were married." She said softly, gazing at my increasingly tarnished silver ring that I was fidgeting with.

"No," I looked at the imaginary point I always somehow thought would explain what I was looking for. "I heard him." Leia looked at me like I was missing several galaxies in my star chart.

I don't care what you told me, damn it, I promised to protect you! He cried.

I clenched my teeth. "I promised Carth I'd come back and I will when I'm finished here." I emphasized those last words, as if Carth were in the room and could hear me if I thought them a little louder. I kept fidgeting with my wedding ring, something I had done when I was nervous or lonely ever since I'd left Taris. She stared at it, still in a slight state of disbelief. "And I have a very strong feeling he's chasing me."

"What?" Leia was concerned. "You left him – because you couldn't – "I nodded. As annoying as it could be, the Force was saving me from a conversation I didn't particularly want to have.

"And he's coming to get me." I sighed. "Dammit, I should've known he'd do this. Stubborn monkey-lizard." I muttered. "Now what?" I rested my head on my hands, letting the heels of my palms dig into my temples.

"You can… go." Leia offered weakly. Even though I didn't believe her, I felt that I could trust her. I felt a bond with her, having fought with her and known her so long ago. I could tell from her countenance that she was in the same emotional place I was. "I want to help you, Revan. I've seen Admiral Onasi suffering. You need to go back."

I shook my head. "I'm not sure that I've done all I can. I can't risk losing him. You know what it's like." I'd struck a chord. We were both simultaneously irritated and overjoyed to speak to Jedi who were too perceptive for their own good.

"Yes, I do. But he hasn't married me. Dammit, Revan, Admiral Onasi is risking his life coming out here looking for you. You need to find him and go home before something happens."

It seems like swearing at you is the only way people get you to listen. I wanted to kick my inner Carth for being such a stubborn adorable idiot who was always right about me.

Leia continued, "Besides, mine's a Jedi. He's not supposed to love me anyway." She urged, putting a hand on mine. "Please, Revan. Go to him, on Telos. Go somewhere quiet, like Alderaan or Ithor, somewhere without jagged rocks. You've done what you can, and you can't afford to lose your husband." She had given me permission to do the one thing I had longed to do since before I had left and I hadn't leapt at the opportunity. I didn't want someone else to endure what I had endured, but I yearned to return home.

"But what about you?" I sniffed. "Won't he come looking for you? You can't endanger…"

"Someone will come for me." She assured. "And maybe she won't have a man." I laughed a little and looked up at her. She was smiling slightly.

"Why did he do this?" I sighed, not expecting her to know what I meant.

"You know you'd chase him if he did this to you." She smiled slightly.

"He wouldn't make it out the front door." I smiled back.

"Send him a transmission. Meet him somewhere." Leia urged. "But before you go, I want to ask you about how you defeated Malak. Admiral Onasi gave me the basic story, but I've always been curious."

"I will try my best to answer what I can." I tried to recompose myself. I knew I had a bit of time to spend, and I'd missed people being interested in what I had to say. "It may do me some good to tell you what happened." We shared tales of our journeys and news of the areas we'd visited. We spoke for hours. I was delighted to hear that Canderous had become the new Mandalore, although Leia hadn't heard news of Bastila or Shan, their son. I marveled at the thought that Shan was no longer a baby.

"All right, time to give that man a piece of my mind." I stood up, finally convinced that I had earned my freedom by doing my time in hell. I felt so exhausted that I could hardly walk. "I will make sure you are freed." Before she could tell me it wasn't necessary, I added slyly, "Unless Atton gets to it first." I watched her blush. She had shown me a picture of her pilot, who actually smiled for pictures. We had compared notes, laughing and talking like normal women were supposed to do. Deep down, we were both frightened that we would be abandoned because we had turned our backs on those we loved in order to save them, but we had done what we could to ensure that it wouldn't happen.

I found an old pay transmitter and bought a half an hour of time. It wouldn't allow me to have a live conversation, but sending a message and having a few seconds' delay for the reply was better than nothing. I spoke quickly, making sure I was clear. Luckily, the transmitter was in a small booth away from the din of the cantina. I smiled and pushed the record button. "Carth, you'd better not be doing what I think you're doing. If you so much as cross into the Unknown Regions, I'll know. And believe me, you'll be sleeping on the couch for the rest of your life."

"There. That ought to do it." I sighed, pressing the send button. Almost instantly, "Incoming transmission…" flashed across the screen. I was glad I'd paid for time rather than messages. I hit the accept key.

"You think I'd just wait for you? Sorry, sister. I see you're frequenting cantinas. Did you get a night job? I think you'd better come home. I promise I'll pay better. By the way, I'd rather sleep on the couch than on the ground, which is where you'll be after I catch up to you." I laughed and hit "reply."

"You wouldn't make me sleep on the floor. All I have to do is bat my eyelashes at you and you're putty." I reminded him. A few seconds later, his reply came.

"I wouldn't have to make you – you'd eventually get so tired of picking yourself up after you fell that you'd just stay there."

"After four years, you're using the same line about me falling down?"

"Too bad you couldn't find a transmitter with holo capabilities, or I'd be saying the same thing to you about the orange jacket."

"That thing is going in the incinerator –" I started, but the "incoming" button flashed. I pushed it.

"So you're coming back?"

"Yes," I sighed, quickly tapping the send button before adding the rest of my reply. "You win. But I'm only giving in because I don't want you to get hurt out here. I'm glad someone else can use my arguing tactics."

"Are you sure they're all taken care of?" Carth warned. "Because you aren't leaving again once you come back." There was a pause. "I knew it would work against you if it worked for you."

"I've got people." I replied. "Where are you?" I asked after a moment.

"Telos."

"Wait, you're not –"

"No." He laughed. "I've been in the living room this entire time. Mission's here with me. We rigged a signature to look like a Republic ship coming after you."

"So you weren't –" I started. "You weren't going to 'rescue' me?" I hated being tricked, even by Carth.

"Don't change your mind or I swear I'll be over there in an instant." Carth warned. "I was – and am – going to rescue you. Mission made me try this first."

"You devious monkey-lizard!" I cried.

"Think of new insults on the way home." Carth's tone was lighter. There was a pregnant pause. "I missed you."

"Don't go soft on me." I smiled, trying to keep my voice from breaking. "I'm getting on the next shuttle to Telos and if you're crying, I'll pretend I don't know you. Be a dear and stay put." A small buzzer went off. My time was almost up. "I have to go now. I'll see you soon." I smiled, forgetting he couldn't see me. Before I could say anything else, the transmitter went dark. I felt the emptiness of the bluntly ended conversation. I heaved a heavy sigh. It's not the time to be mushy. It's time to be a big girl and go home.

I slung my bag over my shoulders and pushed through to the docks. There were virtually no ships going to Telos, but I managed to coax my way onto a small cargo vessel that did a "charming" tour of the backwater parts of the galaxy. My patience waned quickly. I began to think I'd get to Telos faster if I walked. I was grateful that I was used to gathering odd looks from people, since I grew more and more desperate to entertain myself at docking stations. I ensured I wouldn't miss the ship leaving each planet, but only one held enough of my interest to threaten that.