I'll get to all your questions, just not right now.sorry.
The fall
Rogue let the water hit her face, mouth open slightly, water droplets bouncing off her lips. She tried to let the warmth stave off the sadness that was slowly creeping into her bones, but it was to no avail. She turned off the water abruptly, stepping out of the shower, toweling herself dry. Exiting the bathroom fully clothed, she saw a picture of Kitty and Bobby. They were holding hands, Kitty leaning her head on Bobby's shoulder.
Anger flared up inside her, replacing the sadness that had infiltrated her body. She flung the brush she was holding in her hand at the mirror, shattering her reflection. Rogue knocked her lamp off the small table, screaming. She rampaged the room, save Kitty's belongings. When there was nothing left for her to throw, she slumped onto the bed, exhausted. Tears streaked her face, her right hand bleeding from a cut. She heard someone knocking at the door but didn't make a move to open it. The knob turned slowly, the door creaking as it was opened.
" Hey, Rogue, I thought I'd-" John stopped, taking in the wrecked bedroom and Rogue sitting almost doubled over with her hand bleeding freely. "What the fuck happened?" he stood with his mouth slightly open, a look of shock on his face.
John could hear barely discernable words coming from Rogue's mouth. "What?" He sat next to Rogue, looking at her, eyes wide. He looked at her hand. "What the hell happened here?" he asked, reaching for her hand.
Rogue sprung off the bed before John could reach her. "Don't!"
Now that John could see Rogue's face more clearly, he was startled. Her face was gaunt, dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn't slept for the past two days. "What the fuck's wrong with you, huh?" he said, standing up. "I come in here and the whole rooms a complete mess." John looked around the room again. "Did you do this shit?"
"You don't understand, alright!" Rogue's voice rising with her rage. "You don't understand one fucking thi-"
"Well, maybe I would if you talked to me! I can't just read your goddam mind whenever I feel like it. I came here to talk to you, see how you are. And I find this shit!"
"Look, don't get pissed at me, alright. I've had enough of this crap and I can't take it anymore and I just want to get the fuck away from here, alright? Can you just give me one goddam break?" Rogue's eyes were streaming again as she screamed.
"Rogue, I didn't mean to piss ya off, I just." John shook his head, voice gentler than it had been. "Look, you can't go trashing everything just cause you're mad. Kitty's going to be coming back soon."
Rogue shook her head. "She's on vacation with her family, she won't be back till next week." After that statement there was a brutal silence. After a couple minutes Rogue shifted, breaking the tension. "I'm sorry. The thing is," she hesitated. "I went to see the professor yesterday."
Something in John's stomach squirmed uncomfortably. He wanted to ignore the feeling, that what Rogue was about to tell him wasn't true. "And?" he swallowed.
"He says that, um." Rogue's voice cracked slightly. "Um, I don't think I can t-touch you again. Because.cause." Rogue was trembling so badly her voice was shaking.
John's eyebrows were furrowed in disbelief, but he wouldn't let her see them. Instead he rushed over to her and held her. "Baby, it's okay." He hushed her, trying to quiet her sobs. "It's okay, it doesn't matter."
Rogue pushed him back. "It does matter! I can't-I can't go back to the way it was. I can't do this anymore! Maybe-maybe it would have been different if I had never gotten a chance to be with you. I don't want to never have a chance to feel like that again. I wanna be able to be with you, but-" Rogue's mouth opened wordlessly. She was shaking her head, pressing her left hand over her right, trying to stop it from throbbing.
John stood looking at Rogue, a tear kissing his eye. He could barely stand to see her like this, despairing like she was.
"Rogue, I want you to be happy, I really do." He placed his hands on her arms, holding her out in front of him. He smiled sadly. "I wouldn't want anything else other than to touch you, but even if I can't, it doesn't matter. It's not like I wouldn't still love you."
Rogue stared at him. When she spoke her voice was no more than a whisper. "You love me?"
The fall
Rogue let the water hit her face, mouth open slightly, water droplets bouncing off her lips. She tried to let the warmth stave off the sadness that was slowly creeping into her bones, but it was to no avail. She turned off the water abruptly, stepping out of the shower, toweling herself dry. Exiting the bathroom fully clothed, she saw a picture of Kitty and Bobby. They were holding hands, Kitty leaning her head on Bobby's shoulder.
Anger flared up inside her, replacing the sadness that had infiltrated her body. She flung the brush she was holding in her hand at the mirror, shattering her reflection. Rogue knocked her lamp off the small table, screaming. She rampaged the room, save Kitty's belongings. When there was nothing left for her to throw, she slumped onto the bed, exhausted. Tears streaked her face, her right hand bleeding from a cut. She heard someone knocking at the door but didn't make a move to open it. The knob turned slowly, the door creaking as it was opened.
" Hey, Rogue, I thought I'd-" John stopped, taking in the wrecked bedroom and Rogue sitting almost doubled over with her hand bleeding freely. "What the fuck happened?" he stood with his mouth slightly open, a look of shock on his face.
John could hear barely discernable words coming from Rogue's mouth. "What?" He sat next to Rogue, looking at her, eyes wide. He looked at her hand. "What the hell happened here?" he asked, reaching for her hand.
Rogue sprung off the bed before John could reach her. "Don't!"
Now that John could see Rogue's face more clearly, he was startled. Her face was gaunt, dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn't slept for the past two days. "What the fuck's wrong with you, huh?" he said, standing up. "I come in here and the whole rooms a complete mess." John looked around the room again. "Did you do this shit?"
"You don't understand, alright!" Rogue's voice rising with her rage. "You don't understand one fucking thi-"
"Well, maybe I would if you talked to me! I can't just read your goddam mind whenever I feel like it. I came here to talk to you, see how you are. And I find this shit!"
"Look, don't get pissed at me, alright. I've had enough of this crap and I can't take it anymore and I just want to get the fuck away from here, alright? Can you just give me one goddam break?" Rogue's eyes were streaming again as she screamed.
"Rogue, I didn't mean to piss ya off, I just." John shook his head, voice gentler than it had been. "Look, you can't go trashing everything just cause you're mad. Kitty's going to be coming back soon."
Rogue shook her head. "She's on vacation with her family, she won't be back till next week." After that statement there was a brutal silence. After a couple minutes Rogue shifted, breaking the tension. "I'm sorry. The thing is," she hesitated. "I went to see the professor yesterday."
Something in John's stomach squirmed uncomfortably. He wanted to ignore the feeling, that what Rogue was about to tell him wasn't true. "And?" he swallowed.
"He says that, um." Rogue's voice cracked slightly. "Um, I don't think I can t-touch you again. Because.cause." Rogue was trembling so badly her voice was shaking.
John's eyebrows were furrowed in disbelief, but he wouldn't let her see them. Instead he rushed over to her and held her. "Baby, it's okay." He hushed her, trying to quiet her sobs. "It's okay, it doesn't matter."
Rogue pushed him back. "It does matter! I can't-I can't go back to the way it was. I can't do this anymore! Maybe-maybe it would have been different if I had never gotten a chance to be with you. I don't want to never have a chance to feel like that again. I wanna be able to be with you, but-" Rogue's mouth opened wordlessly. She was shaking her head, pressing her left hand over her right, trying to stop it from throbbing.
John stood looking at Rogue, a tear kissing his eye. He could barely stand to see her like this, despairing like she was.
"Rogue, I want you to be happy, I really do." He placed his hands on her arms, holding her out in front of him. He smiled sadly. "I wouldn't want anything else other than to touch you, but even if I can't, it doesn't matter. It's not like I wouldn't still love you."
Rogue stared at him. When she spoke her voice was no more than a whisper. "You love me?"