AN: Nanodaa...here's another chappie for you, since this story seems to be flowing pretty easy for me. Unlike some other ones..that certain MUSES aren't HELPING WITH. ::glare - sigh:: ANYway, on with the show. (Thanks to all that reviewed - you're mentioned later...)

Spoiler: NOTHING'S CHANGED! Unfortunately for me and all us HM shippers...

Disclaimer: The very awesome band Linkin Park owns Breaking The Habit. Though I do have the song on CD. Does that count?

Harm POV

Thursday
2037 Local
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station

I sighed, waiting for the lift to reach my floor. As the doors slid open I edged carefully out of the elevator with a precarious stack of files piled high in my arms. Thank goodness Jen popped her head out of her apartment. I was fumbling with my keys, about to start swearing when I heard her always-cheerful voice.

"Do you need some help, sir?"

"Yes," I panted. I had one leg against the wall in an attempt to shift the heavy paper's weight off my hip so I could open my door. I'd been carrying the folders since I left my car and I was exhausted. I heard the shuffle down the hallway before the metal ring left my hand and I heard the apartment being opened.

"Here let me take that for you sir," Jen said before lifting about a third of the load out of my arms. We set down the caseload on my coffee table - which I swear almost whined under the burden - and I straightened, putting a hand on my aching back.

"Thanks Jen. I'm gonna miss you after you're gone." I offered a smile and she gave me a semi-sad one in return.

"Me too, sir, but I think I should go. G'night." I waved and made sure she got back to her apartment ok before closing and locking my own door securely. After kicking off my shoes I made it to the couch where I gratefully sank into the soft cushions. I loosened my shirt and let my head flop back, closing my eyes and thinking about nothing for a blissful moment. Sighing heavily, I lifted my head and wearily opened my eyes. I let out a groan upon seeing the mountain of documents calling my name. I'd worked my ass off this afternoon after court, too, and I still brought home all this crap to finish. Mac was kicking my six all over the courtroom no matter how hard I tried. It seemed like she wasn't even trying, and I watched her turn in a whole neat pile of papers before me. I swear my jaw must have been on the floor when she sauntered out the door about three hours ahead of me. I don't know how she does it...

I worked in silence, flipping through law books and case files to defend my guilty-as-sin clients against my best friend and worst enemy Sarah Mackenzie. She was probably enjoying a relaxing bath or reading one of her various books right now... I rubbed my neck and realized that my thoughts were stuck on that amazing woman. Sighing, I rose, turning to my CD rack to find something to get my mind off her. Unfortunately, half the music there was either hers, recomended by her, or a gift of hers. Great. I was rendered helpless - as well as useless - if I thought about Mac too long. Her smile that just beamed... I noticed it had been missing for a while now. Giving up on a decision, I just pressed play on the stereo remote after sitting back down. My ears were rewarded with blasting music that couldn't be mine. I chuckled when I recognized a song, and figured out that it was a Linkin Park CD Mattie had left. The loud rock music was oddly soothing and I found that my work went by a little faster while I bobbed my head with the beat. Then a new track clicked on and my hand froze, pen tip hovering over a paper mid-word. The words coming from those speakers spoke to me in a way nothing had before.

Memories consume
Like opening the wound

I'm picking me apart again

You all assume
I'm safe here in my room

Unless I try to start again

It seemed that all the images of the past decade -wow, has it really been that long?- decided to flood my brain the moment those words were spoken. Er, sung. It was only ones with Mac, however, and I started berating myself for not being with her.

I don't want to be the one

The battles always choose

Cause inside I realize

That I'm the one confused

No matter how hard we - no, this is about me. No matter how hard I try, I get sucked into stuff I can't control. I always come out of it worse than I went it. Like Paraguay. I was baffled on the way home. Practically ruined my career for the woman I love - I can at least admit it to myself now -, only to find out that she's fallen for a spook. A backstabbing-bastard of a spook to boot. And that's barely the tip of the iceberg in relation to our "relationship".

I don't know what's fighting for
Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

I know it's not alright

So I'm breaking the habit

Tonight

I banged my fist on the coffee table, rattling the papers and a mug of rapidly cooling coffee. I was suddenly frustrated with myself: for doing and saying the stupidest things to her; pushing her away. Like in Sydney. It wasn't alright at all.

Clutching my cure

I tightly lock the door

I try to catch my breath again

I hurt much more

Than any time before

I had no options left again

/If only I had a cure to clutch. If only there was some kind of fix-all solution that could undo all the pain I've caused. Her beautiful brown eyes don't hold that light anymore. I barely see her smile light up the room. The problem is when I hurt her - several times - I had plenty of options. The main one being confessing my love. Oh how I regret not saying anything. So much ache could have been saved; a load off her shoulders./

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

I know it's not alright

So I'm breaking the habit

Tonight

I sighed, staring at the ceiling while some punk-rock band sung the words that I had needed to hear for nine years.

I'll paint it on the walls

Cause I'm the one at fault

I'll never fight again

And this is how it ends

/I want to shout it from the rooftops; tell every soul on the planet. I LOVE SARAH MACKENZIE!!! My dream last week proved that enough. But out "relationship" was fragile, just barely hanging as it is. I have no idea how she feels about me anymore. Tenuous friends at best. Sometimes...sometimes I still feel something when we touch, though. That spark is still there - and keeps me going./

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

But now I have some clarity

To show you what I mean

I don't know how I got this way

I'll never be alright

So I'm breaking the habit

Tonight

/It's always been my fault. No more. Tonight I resolve to get better. I don't have anything left to lose./ I get up, switch back to the song and press repeat. I listen to it until midnight when I finally clean up, set my alarm and stumble into bed. I mumble one more thing before I fall asleep.

"I promise I'll get better Mac. For you. I'm breaking the habit of breaking your heart tonight."

(pagebreak)

And Mac rolled over in her bed, snuggling her pillow as a small smile curled her lips.

(pagebreak)

AN: Fluffy ending? And don't worry, I'm not going to be ebil like the first chappie any more...I don't think. Thank yall for reviewing:

Beach chick: You always review. How bout a couple more for chapter two and this one? Eh? Eh? ::nudge nudge - conveniently toward review button:: ;;

Froggy: I'm ebil! Mweheheheh! And don't worry - there's PLENTY more.

starryeyes: Here's more! And there's more to come!

ng59678: ::backs away from slowly - nodding and smiling: Of course you're not crazy. ::RUNS - yells back over shoulder:: REVIEW PLEASE!! ;;

Smackalicious: Dood...you love EVERYTHING I write! Fluff, of course. What else would expect from me??

Navy Babe: Ok, so I was ebil in the first chapter. But not as ebil as SOME PEOPLE! ::glare:: You know who you are...C'mon - this one and the last one were nice...ish? ;;

GuitarVixen: Thank yew. ::bows:: No applause, no applause. And there ARE a bunch of songs for Harm and Mac! I like the song "Killing Me Softly" and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I thought it was a nice touch meself.

dansingwolf: Hey now, their dreams are fantasies. Say it with me fan-ta-sies. The POINT is that they are unrealistic...right? But thanks for reviewing, glad you liked the second chappie.

Whew that was a lot! Ok, now time for more reviews! ::happy dance:: Leave one on your way out, if you wouldn't mind!