Chapter 25

Sitting on the floor surrounded by open cardboard boxes, Sara sifted through her old dissertation research materials while listening to k.d. lang's Hymns of the 49th Parallel, which she had selected because it fit her forlorn mood like a glove.

Almost two hours had slipped away since she left Grissom's office and although her heart was aching, with each passing minute she felt more certain her decision was the right one.

As she plowed through her binder on Orthotropic Damage Models she joined k.d., singing the chorus of Love is Everything. "Love is everything they said it would be…love made sweet and sad the same…but love forgot to make me too blind to see…you're chickening out aren't you…you're bangin' on the beach like an old tin drum…I can't wait 'til you make the whole kingdom come…so I'm leaving."

Putting down her binder, she thought, I'm Bridget Jones. I'm singing a sad song in my apartment while I realize I'm a lonely spinster. Of course fictional Bridget got her happy ending. Mark Darcy showed up on her doorstep when she least expected it. No chance of that happening to...

A knock on her door startled her.

Rising to her feet she brushed the dust from the boxes off her clothes and headed for the door. Peering through the peephole she saw her flamboyant neighbor from across the hall. "Yeah…Bridget gets Mark Darcy at her door but this is my reality…my crazy neighbor."

Through the door, Roxie said, "I know you're in there honey, because I hear music."

Assuming the meddlesome woman had received another piece of her mail in error Sara opened the door with her hand ready to receive the misdirected correspondence.

Roxie, flashing a brilliant smile, extended a box of chocolates. "I saw you come home a little while ago and thought this would be a good time to give you a proper welcome to the building."

Confused, Sara replied, "I've lived here for years."

Patting her puzzled neighbor on the shoulder, Roxie explained, "I know but I think we got off on the wrong foot and I'm a firm believer that it's never too late for a fresh start." Warmly she held out her hand. "I'm Roxie Delecroix."

Cautiously, she returned the handshake. "Sara Sidle." With trepidation, she accepted the gift.

Pointing to her door, Roxie said, "If you ever need anything, Sara, I'm right across the hall." Backing away, she winked. "I know you're a busy girl with a very important job at the crime lab so I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing."

"Thanks…for the candy…and the welcome." Baffled by the bizarre scene, Sara stepped back into her apartment and shut the door. "How does she know I work in the crime lab?"

Although she desperately wanted a piece of candy, she didn't throw caution to the wind. Instead, she studied the box making sure the safety seals were still intact. Once she was certain the candy couldn't be tainted, she tore into the box and grabbed a truffle. Crossing the room she savored the chocolate along with the end of the bittersweet song filling the room.

Taking her place on the floor once more, she sighed. "Now…where were you Bridget?"

Seconds later there was another, more urgent knock at the door. "A ha! Much as she surmised, there was a string attached to the candy. Her mind raced with the possibilities as she jumped up, snatched the box of chocolates and marched to the door.

Fuming she wondered what her crafty neighbor would ask her to do. Take care of a smelly cat? Pick up newspapers? Damn it! Why do people have to be so manipulative? Why couldn't they just come on out and tell you what they wanted? Swinging open the door, Sara barked, "Hey, I'm not sure what you want but you can forget it!"

Grissom froze. Catherine didn't mention the yelling at the door.

Stunned when she saw Grissom standing in the doorway, Sara stammered. "Oh…it's you. I…I thought you were one of my neighbors." Her mind raced. What is he doing here? "Um…what do you want?"

Relieved the tense greeting wasn't meant for him, Grissom relaxed his stance. "Hello." He couldn't help notice the box of truffles she was clutching. Chocolate…a good sign.

While she was dying on the inside, Sara leaned against the door and calmly asked, "Is this about the paperwork?"

"Paperwork?"

"The message you left on my phone. Something about suspension paperwork?"

Recalling the message he left days ago he shook his head. "No. That's old. I don't have the paperwork. It's back at the office." After glancing around the hallway, he cleared his throat and took the next step. "Would you mind…could we go inside and talk for a minute?" He was certain Roxie Delecroix was staring through her peephole and he was tense enough with the pressure of performance anxiety.

While struggling to mask her unease she curtly replied, "I'm a little busy actually."

Hesitation…just as Catherine predicted. Suddenly he remembered to check the music streaming from Sara's apartment.

Certain he wasn't hearing the lyrics of man-hating uber-feminist rock, but rather the soulful words of a desperate love song, he stuck to the plan. "I promise not to take much of your time."

"Well…if you only need a few minutes." Sara motioned for him to enter and once he did, she shut the door behind them. "Watch your step. The place is a mess, dust everywhere. I was going through my school boxes, reading old dissertation research."

Being in the apartment brought back memories of his frantic search here days earlier and for a moment, Grissom wandered around to get his bearings. Stopping in front of the book case he reached out and ran his fingertips over the spine of the Entomology book.

For once Sara was grateful that Grissom was too clueless to pick up on the telltale signs of a woman nursing a love hangover. While he walked around, she quickly shut off the lovesick tune blaring from the stereo and put the box of chocolate in a desk drawer.

From her desk she grabbed a rubber band and used it to pull her hair back cinching it at the nape of her neck. "So Grissom…if it's not about paperwork then why are you here? Because you're not saying anything and I thought I was pretty clear…I'm done talking." It was the first time he was ever with her in her apartment and she found it completely unnerving.

He recognized the tone…cold and distant. It was time for the next step, initiate the discussion. Despite some careful planning on the drive over, followed by an hour of deep thought sitting in his car outside of Sara's apartment complex, when the moment finally arrived, he said the first thing that came to mind. "Do you realize how inferior the lab equipment is in San Francisco? Their mass spec…"

"I can't believe you!" Stunned by his audacity, she gasped. "You came here to try and talk me out of my decision? Even after I asked…no, practically begged you to respect my choice? You have some nerve!"

He recalled Catherine's prediction; she'll flip at your audacity. With his back still to her, he replied, "I'm uh…not here to talk you out of anything." Closing his eyes he steadied himself with a deep breath before turning around to face her. "I'm here to talk you into something." Immediately he noticed she had pulled her hair back, and he knew it was only a matter of time before a piece would slip out and frame her face.

"Semantics!" Tossing her hands in the air she gasped. "So instead of talking me out of my decision to leave the lab, you are going to try and talk me into staying at the lab. Didn't you hear my plans? How does staying in Vegas help me finish my doctorate?"

The factual question was a no-brainer and with full confidence he tackled it. "Actually it would be easier if you stayed. You have the best lab in the country at your fingertips. You have the vacation time and the flexibility to go to Berkeley when necessary. I promise I'll approve the time off because I want you to succeed. I want you to further your education and your career. You have a support system here. If you were the new CSI in San Francisco you'd be at the bottom and have no control of your hours..."

"Don't you get it?" Frustration mounting, she blurted. "I need to put distance between us because of the way I feel and you don't. Can't you understand the situation is uncomfortable for me? I respect how you feel so please respect my decision. Neither one of us is wrong here. It's just the way things have to be."

"What you don't understand yet…" Rolling his eyes he groaned, "…because I've done a lousy job telling you is…" Painfully aware that once again his analytical mind was trying to squelch his heart's desire, he fought to get his words out. "I…I'm here because I want to decrease the distance between us."

Her breath caught in her throat.

Struggling, he did his best. "Sara…I don't want you to leave."

Still uncertain if he meant him personally versus needing her in the lab, she asked a leading question. "Why? Because the lab needs me?"

Standing there Grissom knew he heard the question. It was the defining moment Catherine had mentioned. Sara's question simultaneously presented an out and an opportunity. All he had to do was say, yes, because the lab needs you and he was certain he'd get his ass kicked out the door. On the other hand, if he could come up with a heartfelt response Sara would give him a chance.

As usual, the battle began and his self-preservationist mind weighed in with its predictable answer…run! But his heart, still smarting from being discounted when he stood outside Sara's hospital room in Tahoe, punched back with an uncharacteristically right-brained answer. Turning away from Sara he carefully considered the information…

Love was a roller coaster and yes, no matter how thrilling or rewarding the ride, it always ends but didn't the length of the ride depend on the height of the initial hill and subsequently the length of time it took to ratchet up to the first perilous drop? The point was crystal clear. It had taken almost five years to reach the top of this hill and if, on average, the first hill of a roller coaster represented only a tenth of the actual ride well…the math was easy.

Suddenly so was his answer to Sara's question.

There, precariously perched at the apex of his insecurity, he faced her, released his words and let gravity take over. "My reason has nothing to do with the lab. I care deeply about you, Sara, and I hope…if it's not too late…that you'll stay in Vegas and we...we can make this work. I'd give anything to make this work. Anything. I'll leave the lab if it means you'll stay."

Stunned by his last line, Sara gasped. The lab was all he had. It meant everything to him which meant…now she was everything to him. In that moment, all was forgiven. She wanted to tell him but shock rendered her temporarily mute.

Interpreting her silence as a warning, he tried harder. "You wanted to know what I'm sorry for…I'll tell you." With nothing to lose, Grissom's words flowed freely. "I'm sorry for how foolishly I acted all these years. I'm sorry I wasted too much time and caused you unnecessary pain and confusion." Shaking his head, he kept going. "I'm sorry I didn't take that walk around the block with you when you suggested it. I'm sorry I didn't say yes when you asked me to dinner. I'm sorry I didn't kiss you when I had the chance. I'm sorry I didn't agree with you when you wanted to work this out. I'm sorry for every tear you cried because of me."

Sara, astonished by the raw outpouring of emotion from the man she assumed was incapable of showing any, remained in a silent daze.

Taking her hand Grissom begged in soulful murmur, "I'm sorry I left you in Tahoe. It was a horrible thing to do. In my life I can't think of anything I regret more. Can you forgive me, Sara?" Squeezing her hand, he choked out a final plea. "If you give me a chance, I'll make it up to you. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I…" The breathlessness of the free fall finally overcame him and he turned his eyes to the floor while he wondering if he was plummeting alone.

When Grissom fell silent, Sara was finally able to catch her breath. Realizing the depth of his passionate plea, she tenderly said, "That's the second time in forty-eight hours you figured something out just in time. I forgive you."

When he raised his eyes her loving smile greeted him and he knew Sara was along for the ride. "Thank you," he exhaled in a tremulous whisper.

Gently she inquired, "Why the sudden change of heart?"

At first, not finding his own words, he relied on a quote. "Anais Nin said, "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to blossom." His eyes clung to hers as he spoke softly. "Sara, I am who I am and while we've worked side by side for years, in a different context…I'd be lying if I didn't say I worried you might be disenchanted with me. I'm forty eight and I've never had a serious relationship. I don't know if I'll be good at it. I'm terrified I'll mess things up between us but…I'm willing to take a risk because losing you without ever trying would be far worse."

Recognizing his vulnerability, Sara confidently replied, "I don't need a fantasy. I need someone to share my reality and that someone is you. I can't imagine sharing it with anyone else."

It was strangely comforting for Grissom to hear Sara confirm what she had confessed in Tahoe while under the potent influence of GHB.

Tenderly she continued to allay his fears. "I know this is a risk for you both personally and professionally. Please know I would never intentionally hurt you or do anything at work to compromise you. You can trust me."

The word sent a surge of fear through him. "I haven't trusted anything but science for such a long time. I want to trust you." Sliding his hands around Sara's waist, Grissom fulfilled the last step...scoop her up in your arms. "Thank you for not giving up on me."

The loving embrace fed her hungry soul and she eagerly returned the affection.

Feeling her body pressed to his and the warmth of her breath on his neck, Grissom felt alive for the first time in many years. Quietly he pleaded, "We have to make this work."

In the safety of his arms, Sara admitted, "I've never been in a serious relationship either and like you, I'm not sure I'll be good at it but if we work together, I know we can figure it out…at the right pace for the both of us." A light chuckle escaped her lips. "Let's face it, we won't be rushing into anything; lack of spontaneity is something we have in common. Look how long it took us to get this far."

Finally able to relax, he joined in her levity. "It's good to have things in common in a relationship…or so I've been told."

As it had so many times before, their mutual laughter eased the tension between them. This time, however, instead of snapping them back into friendship mode, the release aided the affection building between them.

Arms still entwined around each other's waists, they locked gazes.

Grissom noticed that at some point during the embrace, a lock of Sara's hair had slipped out of her ponytail and was framing her face. Reaching up, Grissom finally fulfilled his desire and brushed the errant stand from Sara's face. As he caressed her cheek, he nostalgically commented, "Dust…from your school boxes."

"You remember that." She blushed. "I really don't have dust on my face, do I?"

"No," he replied with a smile.

The mere touch of his hand sent a warming shiver through Sara's receptive body. Suddenly, afraid to rush things, she fought the overpowering urge to kiss him for the first time. Then she realized, he wasn't fighting it at all.

Sara's skin was as soft as he always imagined it would be which made him wonder if her lips would be as sweet as they were in his fantasies. When his gaze happened upon her moist lips he recalled the heated kiss she planted on him in Tahoe. That didn't count…she didn't remember it and he didn't return it. This would be a first for both of them. Bringing his other hand to her face, he eagerly anticipated the ride's next thrill and as the mouths met, he wondered, was it the hint of chocolate on her lips that made them sweeter than he ever dreamed or was it the first taste of love?

It was a kiss for her tired soul to melt into and Sara's body responded with a pleasure-fused sigh. After starting out sweet, like their flirtatious friendship years ago, the kiss deepened and slowed like their relationship had over time and in its last breathless moments, a mutual passion ignited…foreshadowing a delicious intensity yet to come.

When their lips parted their eyes opened, exposing their mutual satisfaction and burning desires they knew they would find a way to make the relationship work.

Finally able to speak, Sara whispered, "Wow…um…pretty spontaneous for two supposedly un-spontaneous people."

With their bodies still clasped, Grissom barely mustered a coherent thought "Agreed."

"Makes you wonder what other impromptu actions we're capable of…exhibiting." Grinning, Sara coyly asked, "Are you uh…thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Actually I'm thinking two things…well only one is a thought really, the other is more of a..." Taking a deep breath and a step back, he answered her question. "I think we should go out and grab some lunch… analyze how we're going to handle our working relationship now that we've decided to start a personal relationship. It's an important step and if we don't discuss it before…"

"Exactly what I was thinking." Sara chuckled while crossing the room to grab her purse.

When Grissom joined her in the hallway Sara teased, "For the record, it wasn't the only thing I was thinking. It was the only reasonable thing I was thinking."

Smirking he laced his fingers between hers and started down the hall. "Jonathan Swift said, reason is a very light rider, and easily shook off."

"Isn't that why we're going out for lunch?"

"That's exactly why we're going out for lunch."

Going out to lunch had sounded good in theory but after sharing a drink and a soul-bearing conversation they couldn't wait to get out of the public eye and into each others arms.

A seemingly endless drive to the apartment simmered their hunger and by the time they got out of the car it was ready to steam.

Fumbling with the keys he debated kicking open the door but finally the key slipped in the hole and not a second too soon, the door swung wide.

Rushing inside she slammed the door behind them and a moment later he had her slammed against the wall ravishing her with fiery kisses while her hands feverishly explored his heated body.

Not a single word was exchanged as they marked a path to the bedroom with hastily discarded clothes. Who had the time or the inclination to converse when actions spoke louder than words ever could?

There in the bedroom, years of unanswered cravings were fulfilled. The yearning looks…the non-accidental touches…the almost conversations….all those moments laid the groundwork for this explosive union and when it was over, Catherine and Warrick fell back against the sheets, exhilarated and exhausted.

Catherine, finally catching her breath, purred, "Where have you been all my life?"

Propping up on an elbow Warrick leaned in and replied in a sexy whispered, "For the last seven years, twelve hours a day, I've been standing next to you."

"I wasn't ready for this seven years ago." Tracing the curve of his lips, she clarified her thoughts. "I don't think I was ready for this until today."

"Me either." Brushing his mouth over hers he engaged her in a lingering kiss. "Catherine…"

Wandering in the depths of his soulful eyes, she sighed. "Yes…"

"You think we can make this work beyond the bedroom?"

Sobering slightly, she replied, "That depends. How do you feel about being in a relationship where fidelity is actually practiced?"

"Well I've never been on the receiving end of that type of relationship but I bet it's a nice place to be."

"I've often thought that myself."

Pulling Catherine into his arms, Warrick confidently remarked, "I think, two severely burned people who know betrayal first hand, can come together and heal each other with a little honesty and respect."

A hopeful smile cracked through Catherine's doubts. "I'm counting on it."

Leaning against her apartment door, looking over at Grissom, Sara glowed with happiness. "I think our first date went very well."

Relaxed from their candid three hour lunch conversation he teased, "Probably because you didn't call it a date until now."

Comfortable taunting him, she replied, "Well you asked me out, held my hand, bought me lunch and now you're walking me to my door…the evidence doesn't lie. You're a gentleman and this was most definitely a date." In a throaty voice she fished for more proof things were going as well as she thought. "Makes a girl wonder if she'll get a kiss on the doorstep and asked out a second time."

Grateful for the hint, he gathered Sara in his arms and put the proper finish on the perfect afternoon.

Buzzed from the passionate kiss, Sara mused, "Now that's what I call indisputable physical evidence."

In her ear, he asked in a husky whisper, "Tomorrow is my night off…yours too. How about dinner at my place? Seven o'clock?"

Delighted by the invitation into his inner sanctum she eagerly offered, "What can I bring?"

His honesty catching up with him, Grissom blurted his answer. "Pajamas."

Cracking up, Sara said, "Okay I'm retracting my gentleman comment but you get bonus points for honesty."

Peeling himself away, Grissom shook his head. "I really said that out loud? And you wonder why I kept my mouth shut for so long."

"I'm saying goodnight now." Still laughing, Sara opened her door and stepped inside. "I need my rest…big date tomorrow."

Falling faster with each passing minute, he reluctantly replied, "Have a good evening, Sara."

"How could I not?" Knowing they were both mentally and physically exhausted from the stress of the last week, she lovingly said, "Try to get some sleep before shift, okay."

Nodding, he watched her disappear behind the door.

When he turned to leave he saw Roxie Delecroix leaning in her doorway. "Have you been standing there long?"

"Nah...just opened the door." Pausing she took a drag off her cigarette. "Before that I was watching the two of you through the peep hole and listening."

"Of course you were." Finding Roxie strangely endearing, he inquired, "So how did I do?"

Closing her door she flung her silver and purple rhinestone studded purse over her shoulder. "Walk me to my taxi and I'll tell you."

Obliging her he took her by the arm. "Big night on the town?"

"It's Vegas Baby; every night is a big night on the town." Grinning widely, Roxie enthusiastically offered some detail. "Now to answer your question. Honey…from the look on Sara's face I'd say the Ice Princess has melted. No small feat. You must be good."

Pleased with the answer he joked, "Not too bad for an old dog with no tricks."

Scoffing she retorted, "Please…I've got twenty years on you and I'm still going strong. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

"Mark Twain." He held the door to the parking lot open for her.

"You're well read for a young man." Patting his shoulder she chuckled. "Now about your lack of tricks. You need any advice you come to Roxie 'cause I know every trick in the book."

"I bet you do." Opening the door to her waiting cab, Grissom flashed a mischievous smile. "Don't worry about my lack of knowledge…I read a lot more than Twain."

Hopping in the cab, Roxie released a hearty laugh. "You're a funny one, Mr. Grissom. I'm glad you're going to be around the building more."

A sense of peace washing over him, he softly replied, "Me too."

When Greg Sanders strolled into the break room at 10:45pm, the powerful scent of roses grabbed his attention. On the table he noted two dozen yellow roses in one vase and two dozen red in another. Moving closer, he read the names on the cards…both said Catherine. "Whoa."

With a bounce in her step, Catherine strutted into the break room. "Hey Greg."

"Catherine!" Greg oozed with curiosity. "You got flowers…two vases full."

"Really?" Nonchalantly she sauntered over to the table.

"Which card first?" Greg naively asked.

"Always the red, my dear boy." Plucking the card, she put on a show. "I wonder who sent these and what could I have possibly done this afternoon to deserve such a beautiful gift?"

Greg sat on the edge of the table to watch her reaction.

Catherine couldn't mask her appreciation. "Very nice."

Like a kid on Christmas morning, Greg begged, "Open the other one!"

Snatching the card, she continued the game. "Now what did I do today to deserve these? Perhaps a little miracle work?"

When she saw the message she burst out laughing.

Greg begged, "Come on…let me live vicariously through your excitement. What do the cards say?"

"You really want to know?" She gushed. "Think you can handle it?"

"Yeah." He growled.

"Okay….but I'm warning you, be prepared." With verve she held up both cards which had identical messages: You are the BEST!

"Wow!." Greg bowed before the goddess in front of him. "You're my hero."

"What can I say?" Flipping her hair off her shoulder she beamed with delight. "If the role fits."

Stammering from an overactive imagination, Greg said, "Um…I knew you were…but I wish I…could we maybe…"

"Sorry Greg." Wistfully she explained, "With these two guys, my dance card is full and for once, I'm not anticipating any openings in the future." Placing the two cards in her pocket, she winked, "I trust you won't tell anyone about the cards, right? It's just…I don't like my personal life to mix with my professional one." She could barely keep a straight face.

"Don't worry." He vowed. "Your secret is safe with me. I'm just glad to finally be in on something around here."

She chuckled, "Give it a little time, Greg. I'm sure you'll find out more."