This is a 'transformation' of the Three Little Pigs... that demonstrates my knowledge and ability in the area of chemistry as well as in the area of my creative writing skills. Enjoy.
The Chemically Correct Three Little Pigs.
Once upon a time there were three little pigs. Their mother, who had cared for them all their lives, decided it was time for them to move out and build their own houses.
"Go, my children, wherever your fortune takes you." She said, as she waved goodbye.
So the three little pigs set off on their own to build their own houses. Their mother had warned them of the big bad wolf, who would come and blow down houses made of straw and twigs, and so the little pigs but these out as suitable building materials.
The first little pig saw a man with a pile of magnesium sheets.
"Please, sir," he said, "can I have some magnesium to build my house out of?"
"Why, certainly," said the man, "but I must warn you, when magnesium is burned, it will oxidise and crumble!"
"That's alright", said the little pig, "the Big Bad Wolf doesn't have any fire."
And so the first little pig built his house out of magnesium.
But a little while later, along came not the big bad wolf, but a Great, Mean Dragon.
"Open the door, little pig, and let me in!" he cried.
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!" replied the little pig.
"Alright, so I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll burn your house in!"
And the Dragon huffed and puffed and burned the little pig's house so that it was reduced to a pile of white magnesium oxide.
The second little pig came across a man with a load of caesium.
"Please, sir," he said, "Can I have some caesium to build my house out of?"
"Why, certainly," said the man, "but I must warn you, caesium explodes when it comes into contact with fire!"
"That's alright", said the little pig, "the Big Bad Wolf doesn't have any fire."
And so the second little pig built his house out of caesium.
But a little while later, along came not the big bad wolf, but a Great, Mean Dragon.
"Open the door, little pig, and let me in!" he cried.
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!" replied the little pig.
"Alright, so I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll burn your house in!"
And the Dragon huffed and puffed and the little pig's house exploded with a big bang!
The third little pig saw a man with a lot of silicon dioxide.
"Please, sir," he said, "Can I have some silicon dioxide to build a house out of?"
"Why do you want silicon dioxide," asked the man, "When you could easily get some shiny, strong metal?"
The little pig thought about it for a while. "Well, if I make bricks out of the silicon dioxide, it could not only protect my house from wind and rain, but from fire as well."
The man was satisfied with this answer, and so the third little pig built his house out of bricks of silicon dioxide.
A while later, along came the Great Mean Dragon.
"Open the door, little pig, and let me in!" he cried.
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!" replied the little pig.
"Alright, so I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll burn your house in!"
And the Dragon huffed and he puffed and he huffed and he puffed… and the more he huffed and puffed the little pig's house turned into a house of glass!
"Aha!" said the little pig, "not only can you not burn down a house of silicon dioxide, but I have a beautiful glass house now as well!"
The dragon was vert tired and very puffed out. "Oh, little pig, you have defeated me!" he cried before collapsing in a faint outside the glass house. When he eventually woke up, he was so humiliated that he ran away and never bothered little pigs again.
THE END.
And the moral of the story is, know your chemistry before leaving home.