Tonight was my last meeting with Max. The project was due tomorrow, so I knew we would finish it tonight. I couldn't wait for it to be over. No more awkwardness, no more shyness, no more of Max's unnerving stares. I wouldn't have to talk to him anymore.
So why was my heart racing? Why did I have a sick feeling in my stomach? Why did I spend nearly an hour getting ready, staring into the mirror, trying to see what Max saw? All I could see was an ordinary, plain looking girl, brown eyes, long brown hair, jeans and a T-shirt, no makeup other than lip balm. No supermodel figure. Not the good looks of an actress. Not the shimmering image of perfection displayed in every magazine. Why would anyone want someone like me?
I sighed and went to Max's room.
"Max? It's me." I said after knocking on the door. "Lily."
"Come on in." he called out. Finding the door unlocked, I opened it and entered the room. Max was sitting on the bed, surrounded by a sea of papers. "Hey. How's it going?" he asked as I walked in.
"Fine. You?"
"Alright. Did you get all your homework done last night?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah."
"That's good. Well, I guess we gotta get all this stuff typed up." he said. "Are you a fast typer? I've never been able to get past the hunt and peck method."
I gave him a small smile and nodded. "Yeah, I can type pretty fast. I could type it for us."
"Sounds good." he said. I sat in the chair at his desk, the same chair I had sat in the day before. I opened up a word processor and typed our names, the date, the class. Max handed me one of the papers and I began to type. After I finished, Max stood behind me and suggested changes. "I think a comma might go better there." he murmured close to my ear and pointed to the screen. "Oh, and I think you typed 'the' twice over there." he said. Of course I had screwed up. He was so close to me, and all I could think about was his presence. I noticed a sentence that could use rewording, so I highlighted it, deleted it, and began to retype it when suddenly I felt Max's fingers running through my hair.
For a second, I almost stood up, told him to leave me alone, that I didn't want to date him, that I didn't want anything to do with him, he was just too different. But then I noticed how nice it felt. I thought about how much I had wanted a friend, someone to talk to. I thought of how badly I had secretly longed for a boyfriend, or at least a date; how I had craved the warmth and touch and affection of another. Max was willing to give that to me. In that moment, I couldn't understand why I had been denying him.
"Sorry. I couldn't resist. You hair is so beautiful." he whispered in my ear. I almost melted at the low seductive tone of his voice, and suddenly I realized how much I would like to kiss him. I turned to face him.
I couldn't even remember closing my eyes, but I opened them then. I saw the warm, gentle expression on his face, but I also saw the shiny silver ring in his lip. My romantic thoughts shattered. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to kiss him with that. That cold, hard steel intimidated me so. I shook my head.
"I can't do this. I'm sorry, Max, but I can't. The report's pretty much finished, so I guess you can just print it out and leave it in the teacher's mailbox or something. I've got to go." I rose shakily from the chair and ran for the door.
"Lily, wait! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to pressure you!" I heard him call after me. I ignored him, went to my room, and locked the door. I couldn't believe I had ever felt so miserable being alone. It might have been lonely, but it sure was a hell of a lot less confusing.