Chapter 4
DEAN: Ok, Here it is we will, kidnap jess and tape him to a chair in an abandon ship.
TRISTAN: Nah.
DEAN: Ok, then we could always just tie him in a potato sack and feed him to rabid lions.
TRISTAN: Nah.
DEAN: Ok, do you have a better idea then?
TRISTAN: Nah.
DEAN: Ok I am leaving because I hate people that smell like radishes. And you sir you smell like radishes.
TRISTAN: Nah.
CUTS TO RORY"S HOUSEDEAN: Rory.
RORY: What dean?
DEAN: I did not lie, I sware.
RORY: Yes you did you said that you don't have a sister and you do.
DEAN: Ok I'll tell you the truth…My sister Laura got a sex change she used to be a fat blind man.
RORY: Really?
DEAN: Yes.
RORY: I'm sorry I ever doubted you.
DEAN: so were back together?
RORY: No.
DEAN: K, Bye.
RORY: Wait dean!
DEAN: Will you marry me?
RORY: Sure!
DEAN: Really?
RORY: No
DEAN: K, bye
CUTS TO INSTUTUIONTAYLOR: Dean get back under the table…GO!
DEAN: Ok.
TAYLOR: Dean get back out from under the table…GO!
DEAN: Ok.
TAYLOR: Dean get back under the table…GO!
DEAN: Ok.
TAYLOR: Dean get back out from under the table…GO!
DEAN: Ok
TAYLOR: Dean get back under the table…GO!
TAYLOR: Kaboozam!
DEAN: NOOOO!
TAYLOR: Look up at the sky Dean.
DEAN: Ok.
Looks up and a house falls on his head.
DEAN: Yes…I mean no! Tell Rory I love Jess.
Taylor walks over, to find Dean where red high heels.
TAYLOR: Dean I did not think red was your color.
Taylor takes the shoes and puts them on…a moment later he is dancing in the sun with Rolyat.
DEAN'S GRANMOTHER'S HOUSELAURA: Grammy where's mom?
GRANDMOTHER: I'm sorry to say but she died.
LAURENCE: She did?
GRANDMOTHER: Yes I am sorry.
LAURA: Yes did you kill her?
GRANDMOTHER: No, random houses are falling from the sky and he just happened to be in one. If its any consolation Dean died too…lets go eat cake.
LAURA: Ok.
Nibbles a piece of cake.
GRANDMOTHER: Oh no! I forgot I am diabetic. Good-bye Laura I just had a heart attack.
CUT TO CLOUDRORY: Is this what you call going out sometime?
JESS: Sure, Hey throw a house over there.
RORY: But that's Ms Patty.
JESS: Yes, throw it.
RORY: Ok.
JESS: Ok now she, she is most defiantly dead.
They look down.
JESS: Hey want to go to Luke's diner and grab a piece of pie?
RORY: Sure just after I finish this dope.
JESS: Can I have some?
RORY: No, drugs are bad for growing boys…they shrink your feet and small feet, you know what that means..
JESS: Yes I do, but do you know but dope does to girls?
RORY: No, actually I should stop too.
JESS: I was lying nothing happens to girl except a few fried brain cells.
RORY: No I should stop because I am...pulls off face. I am a –
Jess falls from the cloud and Rory runs after him, and saves his life… they land at Chilton.
Rory sees Tristan and puts face back on.
RORY: Hello Tristan.
TRISTAN: Nah.
RORY: Nah?
TRISTAN: Nah.
RORY: Ok, Dean died just so you know.
TRISTAN: Nah.
RORY: Do you want some pie? We were going to get some.
TRISTAN: Nah.
RORY: Why not hungry?
TRISTAN: Nah.
JESS: OH Tristan I love your hair. Where did you get it done?
TRISTAN: Nah.
JESS: I have to go there sometime.
TRISTAN: Nah.
JESS: The color is just beautiful.
TRISTAN: Nah.
JESS: Yes, it is.
TRISTAN: Nah.
JESS: Yes, it is.
TRISTAN: Nah.
JESS: Yes, it is.
TRISTAN: Nah
JESS: Yes, it is.
TRISTAN: Nah
JESS: Want to come to my house, to have a barbeque?
TRISTAN: Nah.
Tristan starts randomly stripping off his clothes.
JESS: Man, I do like your hair but I am not gay. Although, I do have a thing for homosexual pipe smoking sweetish midgets.
RORY: Well, Jess look at that he is a homosexual pipe smoking sweetish midget.
JESS: What a coincidence.
Laura walks over to meet them all.
LAURA: Whoa who's that short stud muffin?
JESS: A homosexual pipe smoking sweetish midget.
LAURA: Really?
TRISTAN: Nah.
Laura grabs his hand and they go jump in the lake.
LAURA: No! I cannot swim my implants are too heavy.
TRISTAN: Nah.
Laura and Tristan sink to the bottom.
CUTS TO Barbeque
JESS: Hello. Lorelai.
LORELAI: Jess.
LUKE: Will you marry me?
LORELAI: Sure.
LUKE: Ok.
LORELAI: Go sit on my eggs.
LUKE: Ok Popsicle.
LORELAI: Don't call me Popsicle.
LUKE: Ok, sorry.
LORELAI: Here is another egg.
LUKE: I don't think my butt is that big.
SOOKIE: Yes it is.
Sookie pinches his butts and runs off.