"You can put those away, those books. You won't need them." The class all seemed to silence concurrently at the newcomer's gruff voice. He hobbled across the room on his wooden leg and took a seat in front of the classroom, turning his scarred face towards his students. Disfigured hands moving over the desk in front of him, he located the class register and pulled it directly in front of him.
With a sigh of relief, one Usagi Tsukino shoved her book carelessly back into her back. She'd already been bombarded with assignments, the last thing she needed was another essay or book task. To think she used to believe muggle high school was bad, she'd give anything for an equal workload. Her blue eyes shot up as Professor Moody called out her name from the register in his marred hands.
"Here," Usagi said clearly, not even flinching under the intense gaze that Moody sent her way. Somehow the scarred flesh and swiveling magical eye didn't bother her much. The professor continued down the list of names until he'd made sure every student was present and accounted for.
"Right then, Professor Lupin sent me a letter about this class. It seems you've had pretty through groundling in tackling dark creatures. You've covered boggarts, red caps, hinkypunks, grindylows, kappas, and werewolves, right?" The class quietly nodded their consent, with the exception of Usagi. She hadn't been present at Hogwarts last year. "Yes, but you're very behind on dealing with curses, so I'm here to bring you up to scratch on what wizards can do to each other. I've got one year to teach you how to deal with Dark Arts."
The class looked a mixture of excited and terrified as they waited on baited breath, expecting Moody to shoot a curse at them on the spot. But instead he clapped his hands together and began his lecture.
"So, straight into it; curses. They come in many strengths and forms. Now, according to the Ministry of Magic, I'm supposed to teach you counter curses and leave it at that. I'm not supposed to show you what illegal Dark curses look like until you're in sixth year. You're not supposed to be old enough to deal with it until then.
"But Professor Dumbledore's got a higher opinion of you're nerves, he reckons you can cope, and I say, the sooner you know what you're up against, the better. How are you supposed to defend yourself against something you've never seen? A wizard who's about to put an illegal curse on you isn't going to tell you what he's about to do. He's not going to do it nice and polite in your face. You need to be prepared. You need to be alert and watchful. You need to put that away, Miss Brown, when I'm talking."
Lavender Brown jumped in her seat as he called her name. Her face flushed a brilliant shade of red as she tucked her completed Horoscope for Trelawney's class. Parvati Patil whipped her posture straight and looked at Moody as though she'd been listening the whole time. In fact, she'd been leaning over Lavender's shoulder looking at the parchment.
"So...do any of you know which curses are most heavily punished by wizarding law?" Several hands shot up at his question, including Ron's, Usagi's, and of course, Hermione's. Moody pointed at Ron, still transfixed on Lavender with his magical eye.
"Er...my dad told me about one. Is it called the Imperius Curse or something?" Ron said nervously.
"Ah yes, your father would know that one. It gave the Ministry a lot of trouble at one time, the Imperius Curse." Moody got to his feet, opened his desk drawer, and took out a glass jar. Three large black spiders were scurrying around inside it, making Ron's pale face contort into an expression of horror.
Moody reached into the jar, caught one of the spiders, and held it in the palm of his hand so that they could all see it. He then pointed his wand at it and muttered, "Imperio!" The spider leapt from his hand on a fine thread of silk and began to swing backward and forward as though on a trapeze.
It stretched out its legs and did a back flip, landing on the desk and cart wheeling in circles. Moody jerked his wand and the spider stood on its hind legs and began to tap dance. Everyone was laughing, everyone except Moody, and Usagi. The blonde girl was watching the spider in dismay, a tormented look about her features.
"Stop it." She said quietly, refusing to tear her watery eyes from the arachnid. Moody was the only one who heard her demand, and he stared at her with both of his eyes for a moment.
"You want me to stop, Miss Tsukino?" He inquired loudly. The class stopped laughing almost immediately and stared at Usagi. She fidgeted under their gaze but kept her eyes directly on Moody.
"Yes I do." She replied with bravado.
"And why is that, Miss Tsukino?" Moody went on.
"Because what you're doing to that spider is wrong. Controlling someone against his or her will isn't right." Usagi said quietly, clenching her eyes shut as she fought back her own memories of the curse that her professor was demonstrating.
"But it's only a spider, Miss Tsukino." Moody countered flippantly, jerking the spider into a more intricate gymnastics move. One of the eight legs simply snapped off from the strain. It flopped on the desk, a useless limb. The blonde flinched at the sight, watching the spider still ceaselessly tumble around, oblivious to its loss. She barely found her voice this time.
"What does that matter? Spiders have souls. Controlling that spider is just the same as controlling anyone in this room. It's not right." Usagi seemed to shrink into her seat with every word she said, but she said them with confidence. The class was eerily quiet as they contemplated her words, and no one dared laugh. Moody smiled a second smile.
"That was brilliantly said, Miss Tsukino, twenty points to Gryffindor. I could make this spider jump out of the window, drown itself, throw itself down one of your throats, you name it. Years back, there were a lot of witches and wizards being controlled by the Imperius Curse. Some job for the Ministry, trying to sort out who was being forced to act, and who was acting of their own free will.
"The Imperius Curse can be fought, and I'll be teaching you how, but it takes real strength of character, and not everyone's got it. Better avoid being hit with it if you can. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" Everyone jumped off their seat as he shouted. Moody picked up the spider and threw it back into the jar. The now seven-legged creature twitched several times, lying immobile in the center. "Anyone else know one; another illegal curse?" Again, Hermione's hand shot up, as did Usagi's, and Neville Longbottom's.
"Yes?" Moody turned his eerie attentions towards Neville, who gulped and lowered his hand.
"Well, there's one, the Cruciatus Curse." He nearly squeaked, refusing to meet eyes with Professor Moody. Said man never averted his intense gaze as he fished a healthy spider from the jar and dropped it on the table.
"The Cruciatus Curse. It needs to be a bit bigger for you to get the idea." Moody pointed his wand at the bug as it scurried for the side of the desk and its freedom. "Engorgio!"
The spider swelled significantly, bypassing the size of a tarantula. Usagi jumped as Ron's chair scraped across the classroom floor. The red-head was putting as much distance between him and the spider as possible. Moody's wand twitched towards the spider once more as he muttered, "Crucio!"
At once the spider's legs bent in towards its body. It rolled over and began to twitch violently, rocking from side to side. Usagi looked away from the spider as it writhed in agony on the desk. Neville watched the spider in horror as it began to shudder and jerk around more violently. Moody noticed this and raised his wand. The spider relaxed, but continued to twitch. Moody shrunk it and placed it back in the jar.
"Pain," Moody said softly. Usagi turned back to the front as she realized the spider had been put away. "You don't need thumbscrews or knives to torture someone if you can perform the Cruciatus Curse. That one was once very popular too. Anyone know any others?"
Once again, Hermione and Usagi raised their hands. Moody set his eyes on Usagi. "Yes?"
"Avada Kedavra," Usagi mumbled shakily. Luna had told her the story of how Harry's parents had died, describing the curse and what it did. Ironic that it was the first spell she'd ever learned about. Usagi watched as Moody retrieved the last spider from the jar and sat it on the table.
"Yes, the last and worst; Avada Kedavra. The Killing Curse." Usagi willed herself to not look away as Moody raised his wand and bellowed "Avada Kedavra!"
A blinding green light filled the room and a rushing sound, as though a vast, invisible something was soaring through the air. Instantly the spider rolled over onto its back, unmarked but unmistakably dead. Moody swept the dead spider off the desk.
"Not nice. Not pleasant. And there's no counter curse. There's no blocking it. Only one person has ever survived it, and he's sitting right in front of me." Usagi visibly tensed as she sensed the eyes of the classroom instantly focus in on Harry. She knew when she'd named the curse that this would be the result. The black-haired boy was rigid in his seat, his green eyes burning through his desk.
Slowly, Usagi reached her hand out and tugged on the sleeve. He looked over at her, surprised, but she smiled warmly at him. Without realizing it, he found himself smiling back.
"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" Usagi yelped as they were brought out of their reverie by Moody's shout. "Those three curses are known as the Unforgivable Curses. The use of any one of them on a fellow human being is enough to earn life in Azkaban. That's what you're up against. Now get out your quills and copy this down."
They copied notes the rest of the class. The normal whispers and muffled laughter were absent from the crowd of Gryffindors as they worked. As soon as the bell released them, however, they gushed in the halls about the sheer brilliance of the lesson. Usagi slowed her pace, letting the chipper students leave her, and was so caught up in her thoughts that she ran headlong into Neville Longbottom.
"Sorry Neville," she mumbled, smiling sadly at the boy. He looked quite shaken, standing immobile in the hallway and staring at the wall across from him. Her smile became a sympathetic frown as she placed her hand on his shoulder. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," he nodded, pulling his shoulder from her. Usagi immediately pulled her hand back to her side as Harry and company caught up with them, Moody trailing behind them.
"It's alright, sonny, come to my office and have some tea." He said to Neville. The boy's wide, fearful eyes suggested that the thought of being alone with Professor Moody was worse than whatever he was worried about. Moody's magical eye swiveled over to Harry.
"You're all right then, aren't you Potter?" The green-eyed youth nodded, his glasses sliding down his nose with the movement.
"And you, Tsukino?" Usagi looked shaken at the question. Her head jerked in a quick nod as she tugged on her robes. A silence settled over the whole group Moody still staring at her pointedly, until the blonde laughed nervously.
"I'm going to dinner, I'm starved." She said, adjusting her bag and speeding off down the hall.
A frown across her lips, Usagi bypassed the Great Hall without a glance. Her head was swimming with thoughts of their lesson and the look that Moody had given her. She snapped the password to the fat lady, the woman looking very indignant as she granted her passage. Dropping her school bag carelessly, she plopped on the couch and placed her head in her hands.
'What does Moody know about me and how does he know it?' Her mind wondered. The only one who would ever know about her experience with the Imperius Curse would be Luna and...him. There was no other person, so why did he look at her like that?
A tremor shook through her spine, as though the temperature around her had drastically dropped. Her eyes glazed over, burning into the ground as she lost grasp on what she was even looking at. The feeling drained away from her eyes, slowly deadening. All at once she became nothing, a shell, but she was still shivering. The portrait of the fat lady swung open and Harry entered, his green eyes immediately landing on Usagi.
"Hey, you said you were starving but you weren't at dinner. You okay?" He asked, tilting his head. The blonde didn't respond, or move, aside from her constant quivering. Harry finally noticed it as he moved in closer. "Are you cold? Do you need a blanket or something? Hello?"
He waved his hand in front of her face, but she still didn't acknowledge him. Cautiously he placed his fingers under her chin and tilted her head upwards, their eyes meeting. Startled, Harry jumped back and Usagi's head dropped again. He stood, frozen, until he heard familiar voices entering the common room.
"I don't think that'll work, Fred." Said Weasley twin appeared, quickly followed by George and Lee. As soon as they spotted the boy-who-lived, they ended their conversation abruptly. Harry was still staring at Usagi with wide eyes, not bothering to greet the trio.
"What are you guys doing?" Lee asked, raising an eyebrow at the awkward situation the two were displaying.
"Come on Lee, all alone in the common room? What could they possibly be doing?" Fred jested, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"I didn't know you had a thing for foreign girls, Harry." George mused. Harry reddened at their comments, rolling his eyes with exasperation.
"It's not like that, something is wrong with her. She hasn't said anything since I walked in a few minutes ago, and if you haven't noticed yet she's acting really strange." The trio blinked and looked at the blonde girl who, indeed, was shivering and staring blankly at the floor.
"She's not asleep, right? The last time she was asleep on the couch I came out really bad." Fred complained, pointing to the side of his head. George nodded in agreement as he rubbed his nose. Lee, however, frowned and walked over to Usagi, waving a hand in her face like Harry had moments before.
"Hey Usagi!" He shouted when she didn't respond. Finally, she raised her head to look at him, her eyes dark and cold. Lee took a reflexive step back under her gaze. Her lips parted ever so slightly.
"Pray for death upon your knees; souls can travel on the breezes; kiss the sickle with your blood; fate would save you if she could." Her words came out in a low, monotonous tone. A collective shudder passed through all four of them as the mood sobered drastically. Her limbs, previously tangled in a fetal position, stretched out and she stood. No one moved as the girl glided past them, towards the girls' dormitories. A few apprehensive glances shared, all four of them trailed her up the spiral steps.
(AN: Yes, yes, there's a spell on the stairs to the girls' dormitory, but I'm an all-powerful authoress and so I changed it -.-; )
Usagi entered the fourth years' dormitory and stumbled clumsily to her four-poster. Dropping to her knees in front of her trunk, she fiddled with the clasps awkwardly, oblivious to the others in the room. Seeing as no one else to any action, Harry stepped forward.
"Usagi?" He questioned, feeling rather stupid. Obviously, if she didn't respond before she wasn't going to now. The blonde finally found success in opening her trunk, and she dug in it for a few moments before pulling out a small dagger. One glimpse of the polished steel was all Lee needed as motivation. He jumped forward and pinned Usagi's arms while Harry wrestled the blade from her hands.
"Crimson tears spill from your eyes; the life you used to know turned lies; destiny has changed her tune; leaving you among the ruin." The tone of Usagi's voice had risen to a shout, now filled with anger. She kicked at Harry as he backed away and struggled against Lee's hold.
"What now?" Fred asked uneasily from the sidelines, watching Usagi thrash wildly.
"We should take her to Pomfrey, and fast, or we'll be dealing with the whole Gryffindor house soon." Harry replied, and the other three nodded at his logic. Suddenly, Usagi ceased all movement and went completely limp. Surprised at the sudden shift in weight, Lee's knees buckled and they both fell over.
"So, who volunteers to carry her?" George inquired, eyeing the unmoving blonde warily.
"I will," Harry sighed. With some effort, they heaved the girl onto Harry's back, piggy-back style, and left for the Hospital Wing.
"What's wrong with her?" Lee asked tersely, voicing the question they were all thinking. Madame Pomfrey's mouth thinned into a straight line as she glared at the four, almost as if saying 'why are you still here?'
"I don't know what's wrong with her, Lee Jordan. You should go back to your common room." She replied sharply, pointing towards the door for emphasis.
"You have to have some idea," Harry argued, all of them standing their ground. Pomfrey sighed, the stress from dealing with magical illness for so many years apparent in the lines of her face. She dropped into a nearby chair and looked over at the still girl on the bed, looking like an eerie dress-up doll.
"Normally, I'd suggest catatonia, but according to your story it doesn't really fit. Catatonic people don't usually speak and they can sit still for hours on end, not to mention they're rarely violent. It seems like she had a brief psychotic episode, or something of the sort, and now her mind is exhausted. I've never seen anything quite like it." The nurse admitted, never moving her eyes from the girl.
"Is there anything we can do?" Fred asked, uncharacteristically solemn as he too stared at Usagi. Madam Pomfrey shook her head, turning back to the group of them.
"Only wait, so I'd prefer if you went back to your common room and return another time. Professor Dumbledore will come first thing in the morning to see about her, maybe he can help her." The woman abruptly stood, regaining her stern demeanor and pointing at the door for a second time.
"Corpses buried in the ashes; tears collected on their lashes; angry voices whisper into the cold; sharing their fates, stories untold." Usagi's voice was barely a whisper, and they hadn't been silent when she'd spoken, they wouldn't have noticed it at all. An anxious air hovered around them as they all stared once more. Behind the shadows over her pale face, a lone tear slipped down her cheek, but her eyes were still glazed over.
"What do you make of it, Harry?" Lee questioned, the four of them finally making the trip back to their commons. They'd seen fit to leave before Pomfrey resorted to brute force.
"I don't know," Harry replied distractedly, his mind wandering. He kept jumping back to the episode in the retirement home, when Usagi had collapsed suddenly. When he'd asked about it later, she seemed really tense and completely stiffed his question.
'Could she have been...? No, she wouldn't.' He assured himself, banishing the thought from his mind. Somehow, however, it lingered.
"...be safer to put up mental barriers?" Harry froze midway through pushing the hospital wing door open and pulled it back to a crack. The voice of Madame Pomfrey echoed in his ears as he peered through the opening. He couldn't see the people speaking, but the next voice was indefinitely Albus Dumbledore.
"She won't know what happened when she comes to; it'll be difficult to explain. It'd be too risky, we should just leave it be." The elder headmaster said, sounding sure of his decision. Harry swung the door open and walked in nonchalantly, quickly spotting the two Hogwarts staff members standing outside the curtain pulled around Usagi's bed. Their posture immediately tensed, but he was sure he wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't overheard a piece of their obviously secret conversation.
"How is she?" The green-eyed boy asked, full of concern. Apparently convinced he hadn't heard anything, they relaxed visibly. Harry's mind reeled with the possibilities of their meanings. Why would Usagi need mental barriers? Was someone trying to control her, and if so, who? Madam Pomfrey gave him her usual narrow-eyed glare and Harry immediately knew what was coming.
"She still hasn't recovered. You aren't allowed to see her yet." The nurse pointed towards the exit and Harry sighed. Ever since they brought Usagi to the hospital wing, they hadn't laid eyes on her. He'd seen the twins and Lee up here several times, but Madam Pomfrey simply wouldn't budge in her resolve to isolate the blonde-haired Japanese girl.
"Professor Dumbledore, do you know what's wrong with her?" Harry asked suddenly, remembering the silver-haired headmaster was there. Dumbledore peered down at him and shook his head sadly/
"I'm sorry, Harry, but we're going to have to wait until she wakes up to find out more." He said. Harry pursed his lips together, dying to scream 'Liar!' He restrained himself and nodded in understanding. As he left the hospital wing confused and slightly upset, his thoughts wandered.
The other Hogwarts students had started suggesting ludicrous reasons for her absence, but Harry paid no mind to them. Everyone had forgotten about it anyway as the announcement that Beauxbatons and Durmstrang were arriving came up one night at dinner. Harry met up with Ron and Hermione outside of the Great Hall, and they sat down for dinner together.
"Do you think Usagi will be back in time for the arrival of Beauxbatons and Durmstrang?" Hermione asked concerned. Harry shrugged lightly.
"Pomfrey hasn't let me in to see her at all." He explained. Hermione glanced at him with worry as he picked through his food, looking ever pensive.
"Maybe she's really sick and Pomfrey doesn't want you to catch it." She offered. Harry nodded, remembering he still hadn't told his friends what really happened with the blonde girl that night. He had the feeling Usagi wouldn't want anyone else to know about it, so he'd kept his mouth shut. Frowning with determination, he sat his fork down and stood from the table.
"Harry, where are you going?" Ron inquired, looking up at his raven-haired friend. Harry didn't respond as he left the Great Hall.
"Madame Pomfrey, please, I have to see her. What harm could it possibly do to spend five minutes with her?" Harry pleaded shamelessly, mustering up the best puppy eyes he had. With a sigh of pure exasperation, Madame Pomfrey threw her hands into the air.
"Alright, five minutes in there and not a nanosecond more. Do you understand me?" She glared menacingly at him, but Harry simply nodded and slipped behind the curtain before the temperamental woman changed her mind. Apprehensively he turned towards Usagi, and he stood frozen for quite a while at the sight.
She was sitting up, her back resting against several pillows. Her eyes were glazed and staring into the dull white sheets that covered her body. As he sat next to her, he noticed the dark circled under her eyes, convinced she hadn't slept a wink since they'd brought her here. The skin over her face looked stretched and pallid, even paler than was normal. Still, he had an objective to coming here, and he wasn't about to get kicked out by Pomfrey before he accomplished it.
"Usagi, that day in the retirement home, what really happened to you?" He whispered, leaning in closer as he did so. The dull look on her face flickered a few times, and her hands clenched into fists in her lap.
"You can still hear the screams as if they were new, the agony planted there long since grew, death cannot save you now since you can't hide, unless it's the death that lives in your eyes." She said clearly.
"What does that mean, Usagi?" Harry pressed on, raising his voice above a whisper and watching bewildered as she started to fidget.
"The only one worthy of death is you, the pain in your heart threw your whole life askew, and you couldn't stop it no matter how hard you tried, so you fell into your last resort of suicide." She whispered as her voice faded. Her fidgeting stopped and she regressed into the still doll she was when he'd walked in. Harry cringed as the last word echoed through his head, confirming the thought he'd been ruthlessly denying.
He nearly yelped in shock when the blonde's hand shot upward, cradling the sides of her head. Her fingers bent, digging her nails into her scalp as she rocked back and forth. She shook her head vigorously, almost whimpering as she did so.
"Usagi, snap out of it!" Harry said, grabbing onto her arms. All of a sudden, she froze, and her head snapped towards him. Her eyes regained their shimmer of life and she stared back at him, looking completely disoriented.
"H-Harry? What's going on?" She asked, her voice trembling. Harry's hands were still holding her arms, and he could feel her shivering like she had when he'd first found her in the common room.
"Usagi, what's wrong?" He asked as gently as possible. Usagi stared at him, looking like she was simply going to fall to pieces, before she threw her arms around him and let out the sob she'd been holding back. Harry tensed and looked down at the distraught blonde almost fearfully, wondering what to do. Slowly he hugged her back, the seemingly wise thing to do, and sighed with relief as she relaxed a little. Slowly, she regained composure and pulled away, averting her gaze from him completely.
"Usagi, that day when you collapsed in the retirement home, were you..." He paused again as he tried to find some easier wordage, but none came. "Usagi, were you trying to commit suicide?"
"Um...yes, I was." Usagi replied, barely audible as she chewed on her lip nervously. Harry sat back in his chair and absorbed the information.
"Why?" He finally asked. Usagi closed her eyes. She'd known he was going to ask that but it still didn't make it any easier to say.
"Well, because..."
Ugh...I suck, you know? -laughs dully- I so dread the revision of next chapter.
-SachiNyoko-