Going Home...

Chapter 5

"Oh, my. I did not know he was hurting so much. I knew he would be in pain…but this. He is torturing himself." Ginny said with tears in her eyes."We have to find him. He needs our help."

"Well I for one am not ready to forgive him just yet." Harry stated.

"What are you talking about? Didn't you read his letter? He is in a great deal of pain." Ginny said taking the letter from Hermione.

"Yes! I read it. I see he is in pain. However, so am I, and so are you. Did he think about us when he left? NO! He thought of no one but himself." Harry's anger was rising, his voice getting louder. "We have not heard from him in two years. And he thinks I'm going to forgive him just like that? Well I'm not! I'm mad as hell at him for doing that to me… to us!" He was yelling now.

Hermione took a step back, eyes wide with surprise at Harry's anger. Ginny however stood her ground.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Ginny was right up on him, her face almost as red as her hair."Don't you dare do this! I for one seem to remember a certain dark haired boy, who shall remain nameless, but you know who you are, trying to push his friends away when Sirius died." She said poking a finger into his chest. "RON! Was the only one who stood up for you. When everyone was getting fed up with your crap. Moping and lying around the house as if you were dying. Yelling at everyone if they even looked at you funny. RON! Was the one that stuck by your side, even when you were yelling at him and pushing him away. He took it all without a bit of complaining. Do you know why? WELL DO YOU?"

Harry was at a loss for words, he had never seen Ginny this upset before. All he could do was shake his head.

"It's because he was your friend, that's why. So don't you dare stand here and tell me that you are not ready to forgive him. He probably needs you more than he needs us." She said waving her hand between Hermione and herself. "You are his best friend. He needs you now, just as you needed him not so long ago. He is dying inside, he needs our help. He needs your help."

Hermione had backed away from Ginny when she started yelling, she had stumbled over Crookshanks and fell into the chair sitting by the door. The whole time Ginny was yelling at Harry she was advancing on him pushing her finger into his chest. He now stood back up against the wall. Hermione thought she might have seen a little fear in his eyes.

"Now, honey calm down." Was all he could reply.

"Don't you honey me. He is family and he needs us. He blames himself for everything. He needs to know that what happened was not his fault. He has suffered enough, we all have. Now if you don't want to help me, fine I will do it without you." She looked over to Hermione. "What about you?"

Hermione flinched a little; even though Ginny lowered her voice."I am going to help him." She replied without hesitation.

"Good." Ginny said crossing her arms over her chest and looking back at Harry.

Ron walked into the coffee shop and sat at a table in the back. He crossed his arms on top of the table and lowered his head, resting his forehead on his arms.

"What can I get for you, sir?" asked the waitress.

"Just coffee, please." He replied not rising his head. She was back rather quickly with it.

"Will that be all, sir?" She asked.

He raised his head slightly and took the cup in between his hands "Yes, thank you." he replied.

She hesitated for a minute looking at him. "Are you ok?" she asked with a concerned look on her face.

He looked up at her and with a small smile said, "No. But I will be." She nodded and left him to his thoughts.

By writing the letter to them, he had made the first step on the road to healing. It was time he stopped running and hiding from it. If he ever wanted to heal, he had to face up to it, to them. He just hoped he would not have to do it alone any more. He was just too tired to fight it any longer. He took a drink from his cup and looked out the window. He sat there looking out into the darkness. He smiled slightly to something he had heard someone say one time, "It's always darkest before the dawn." He did not know what it meant but he liked it nonetheless.

He finished his coffee, put money on the table and left. For the first time in a long time, he walked down the street with his head up. He let a tiny smile come across his lips as he thought to himself, "At least I can see where I am going with my head up." He let his feet take him where ever they wanted. For a while, he just walked not going anywhere in particular.

Then he decided it was time to face his pain once more. He turned down an alleyway, made sure no one was looking, took out his wand and apparated. He landed with a soft thud in a garden. He had apparated to the Burrow, the one place that held the most pain for him. It had not been lived in for over two years. As he looked up at the house, he thought back to his childhood. Fred and George teaching him how to degnome the garden. He and Ginny playing hide-and-seek. Swimming in the pond on those hot days. He walked around the house to the back and saw the pond. That is where he and Hermione had there first kiss, and he told her he loved her. Back then, it was deep blue, now it was over run with weeds and pond scum. "Probably some hinkypunks living there now." he thought. He turned back to the house, walked over to a window and looked inside. He was surprised the see some furniture still inside. He went to the door to try it, he found it unlocked, he opened it and went inside.

He stood just inside the door, looking it over. Where the living room used to be there was still a sofa and chair in there. And scattered about the floor was some paper. He walked into the kitchen, as he remembered the big family meals eaten in this room, tears started filling his eyes. He turned and headed for the stars.

On the first floor was Ginny's room, his mum and dad's old room and the bathroom. Second floor was Percy's and the twin's old rooms. The third floor was Bill and Charlie's floor. He stopped on every floor going from room to room. Letting the memories flow in. He was surprised to see that most of the rooms still had things in them. "Ginny must have been in to much pain to come back," he thought. The last room he went to was his.

He pushed open the door and stepped inside. Looking around there was still some posters on the wall. His bed still sat in the same spot; he walked over and sat down on it. Tears were starting to fall down his face. He wiped them away and looked over to the dresser that stood against the wall. Next to it was the closet. He walked over and opened the door. There was some stuff still inside it; he pushed it aside to get to the back of the closet. There he found what he was looking for. He was happy that his family never found his hiding spot. He pulled back the loose floor bored and reached in to get his treasures. He went back and sat on the bed, laying out the things from the closet on the bed in front of him.

There was a little tin box with all his wizard cards in it. A smile spread across his face as he looked at them. Moving them aside, he found a picture of Harry, Hermione and himself after there first year at school; they were smiling and waving up at him. Next, he found a letter; he opened it and began to read it. It was a letter that he had written to Hermione in there fourth year. As he read it, he remembered that he wrote it right after the Yule Ball.

In the letter, he told her how he really felt about her, but he never got up the courage to give it to her. The tears that have been threatening to fall the whole time he had been there came freely now. He clutched the letter to his chest and fell onto the bed.