par·a·dise
'par-&-"dIs, -"dIz
noun
Etymology: Middle English paradis, from Old French, from Late Latin paradisus, from Greek paradeisos, literally, enclosed park, of Iranian origin; akin to Avestan pairi-daEza- enclosure; akin to Greek peri around and to Greek teichos wall —more at PERI-, DOUGH
Date: 12th century
1 a : EDEN 2 b : an intermediate place or state where the righteous departed await resurrection and judgment c : HEAVEN
2 : a place or state of bliss, felicity, or delight
- par·a·dis·ial /"par-&-'di-sE-&l, -zE-/ also par.a.dis.i.cal adjective
Paradise… A place or state of being that immerses us in an ideal area or feeling. Everyone has their moment where they are in a complete state of bliss. Unfortunately it's hard to come by this salvation in the world we live in today. The times we share with each other soon become this place of happiness. But what exactly is "Paradise?" It was difficult for me to find this peace especially from the daily reoccurring events that kept me busy all these years. I think back now and wonder what would have become of me….
The final moments were here and I sure as hell could feel them but I wasn't about to let them pull me down. I passed by Vash giving a sincere grin not aware at the time that the pain was able to show through which plunged us both into a feeling of despair.
I glanced down at my hands many times since the day… The same hands that were soiled with the blood of that possessed boy. Vash was right, there was another way. I was just too blind to see it at first but thing some people don't realize is actually being in that kind of life or death situation. It's not pleasant knowing that a few days ago, some where out there, there was a innocent life that was cut short by you're stupidity. Maybe I could've cracked open a Bible and a holy water bottle and preformed an exorcism…. Who am I kidding? Exorcisms don't really work especially preformed by a heartless Priest like me.
I took the heart wrenching insults like a lifeless rock though I was screaming inside. The message of my regret about the incident never made it in time. Hopefully it'll reach those who I hold dear before my name is slashed with bitter taste of pure blood.
"Apparently you've lost some weight. Why, Nicholas?"
"I've been traveling with a real troublemaker."
"It's not wise to drown in each other's pain. You must kill this man now."
The church is in sight now as I make my way down to my final rest. Sunlight was in clear view, very unlike what I've seen before. It seemed to dawn a new way. Almost welcoming a new life just for me.
I have done many things in my life I regret doing like the murder of Zazie. Above this, though, was the betrayal of a good friend with a sincere heart. I had done the unthinking able which still to this day makes my skin crawl… I was an official member of the "Gun Ho Guns," the group that served under Knives, a psychopathic manic who saw all humans as obsolete. Chapel the Evergreen had come to remind me of this because of my purposefully sidetracked mind. The fight was brutal but thankfully I was spared a few more minutes then him. I savored it down to the last second.
Now I come down to my final minute. My arms burning with a strange sensation of what felt like death creeping up from my feet and through my body. The next shot of pain was unlike anything I had experienced before in my life. I wish I had words to describe the feeling but I know I never wanted another person to feel this pain. The pain that gripped my heart and yanked the last drop of blood out of me.
My knees gave away leaving as a limp form hanging onto life on a cross. The tip of my last cigarette was lit and began to dissolve. Then I saw it. The face that could brighten my day no matter what I had gone through. Milly… The only one who understood me. God, I wish just for one moment I could go back to her. Just to say good-bye… Unfortunately God was not on my side in this instant. I had sinned too much to even look at the crucifix any more. Hell was my paradise. It was set since the day I was born and I new it. My final minutes were up. In that split second I was jerked from reality and forced into a new place. Eternal bliss…. I was finally home. In paradise…
"You know smoking isn't good for the baby."
I know honey… I know….
R.I.P. Nicholas D. Wolfwood