Chapter 13 – Bonded

"Why didn't any of you guys tell me she wasn't here?" demanded Atton angrily. "There's not really any point to talk about all this if she's not here."

The others all looked at each other.

"We… didn't realize she wasn't here either," said Mical tentatively.

"Oh come on, as if you didn't notice she wasn't here."

"Is it any more difficult to believe than you not noticing?" mused Mical.

Atton opened his mouth indignantly and then closed it again. Him and his damn observations!

"All right, well, you guys get back to… whatever it is you normally do," said Atton. "I'm gonna go find her. We'll regroup later after I tell her what the options are."

"More like 'option', singular," grumbled Mandalore.

"In the meanwhile, I will start having a look at that hyperdrive," said Bao-Dur.

"Dee-deet?"

"Yes, you can help too, T3."

The group dismantled and Atton started walking away. Where could she possibly be? If she had been anywhere near the main hold, she would have heard the conversation and joined in. She must be in…

"Kreia's room," he muttered, turning toward the port side of the ship.

He walked down the hall, and couldn't hear any sounds coming from the room. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe she wasn't there after all. He decided to pop his head in to check anyway, and when he did, he saw Jena with her hair down standing in the room, leaning up against the far wall, facing away from him and seemingly staring off into space. He casually started talking.

"Jena, we have to make a decision about what we're going to do… either we fix up the ship and try to jar it loose, or we can try and climb out, but I think that's a pretty stupid idea because then we'd all be stuck on Malachor with no way off. The others seem to agree that…"

He frowned and stopped talking, noticing she hadn't even turned to face him. He studied her profile more closely. He never saw her look so dejected before. And was that…? Yes, she was crying! Atton walked in silently and closed and locked the door behind him, so the others wouldn't see her like this. He figured she wouldn't want that – plus it wouldn't exactly be the best thing for morale. He struggled with what he should do. He wanted nothing more than to run over there and hold her close until her tears stopped, but he didn't know if he should. He didn't know if his attention would be welcome, and he also felt that by doing so, he might as well kiss his resolution to keep away from her goodbye. He chose not to do anything, and he just stood there stupidly, looking at her, helpless.

"It's Malachor… you're upset about being back here… You're worried… about facing her…" he said dully. "She's not Kreia, you know – not anymore… if she ever was." She finally turned and faced him. That look… that look she had in her eyes… He had never seen so much distress, so much agony look up at him from those eyes. It hurt him to look at them. "Hey… hey… it'll be all right… You know that, right?" he continued awkwardly, taking a few steps toward her. He took a deep breath, looked at her keenly, and all his resolve about not expressing his feelings went out the window. "Listen… I know you're thinking of facing her alone… Don't deny it; you can't fool me. I know. Don't go by yourself. You're not alone in this… I promise I'll be right there with you… I won't… I won't let you down. If you fall, I'll be right there to pick you back up. I will save you if it's the last thing I do. I promise…" His voice faltered.

She stood silently looking at him, tears streaming down her face, and she seemed so… vulnerable – she who had never looked vulnerable before. Her hair, which he had always seen tied back, was hanging loosely around her face and made her look so… human; so helpless. Atton, no longer able to resist the urge to take her up in his arms, rushed over to her, put one arm around her shoulders, and with the other hand, gently wiped away her tears. "Hey… hey!" he repeated softly, helplessly. She sobbed. He looked at her sadly – she looked so fragile. He wiped her tears away again and unwittingly started caressing her face with the tip of his fingers. Not knowing what came over him, he leaned in, lifted her face to his and softly kissed her lips. She immediately responded by kissing him back with more ardor. He could taste the saltiness of her tears on her lips, and it only made him want her more. He cradled the side of her face with his right hand and pulled her closer as he kissed her more passionately. He could feel his lust for her starting to increase, and was on the verge of losing his willpower completely when he suddenly pulled away, looking worried. What am I doing? I told myself I'd step back. What is she going to think? I'm supposed to be a Jedi now… I can't be doing this… and she… she doesn't need this. Not a guy like me… She deserves better. I'm the last thing she needs.

He loosened his hold, but before he had the chance to step back and apologize, Jena reached and grabbed his face with both hands, pulling it back toward hers, kissing him fervently. He put his arms around her again and kissed her harder, giving in to his desire. His hand made its way to the back of her head and he held her closer, never letting go, never pulling away from her lips. All he could feel was how much he wanted her, how much he loved her, how much he wanted to take all her pain away, and how he wouldn't be able to bear it if she walked away from him one more time. His thoughts became desperate – Please, please, please don't walk out on me this time…please… Jena briefly interrupted their kiss and breathlessly said, "I'm not going anywhere this time." – only to kiss him again fervently. He didn't bother attempting to figure out how she had known what he was thinking. He had better things to focus on – her fingers were sliding from the nape of his neck down to his chest, and his own hand slowly was slipping from the back of her head down to her collarbone. Her hands continued sliding down to his waist and she started tugging at his robe. His belt and his lightsaber fell to the floor with a clunk. She subtly began pulling him toward one of the beds. He caught on to what she was doing, yielded, and clumsily fumbled with her robe as well, as they half-stumbled onto the mattress. Still kissing her, Atton slowly pulled her down next to him while struggling with her belt. She laughed at his disconcertion when he realized he was not making any progress, and gently helped him out.

"Damn things are so hard to work," he mumbled apologetically, slightly frustrated, but relieved that she was laughing again. "You'd think I'd have learned how to undo these stupid belts by now." She silenced him with a soft kiss, which made him forget all about his brief embarrassment. He let go of her belt and gently cradled her head in his hands and kissed her back. He briefly wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as though he was afraid she would vanish if he loosened his grip. He then however relaxed his hold, his hands slipping back down as his mouth kissed her lips again, and again, then her chin, and slowly made its way down to her neck. Please don't go…I won't let you go… I can't let you go…

Atton stirred and his arms reached over to the other side of the small bed. He felt around the empty mattress blindly for a moment, and opened his eyes suddenly when his hand encountered something small and metallic. What the…? He sat up and picked up the small object that was placed over his carefully folded robe, next to his lightsaber – Jena's datapad. I have a bad feeling about this… His heart racing, he looked over the message she had left for him:

I'm sorry, Atton. I have to face her alone. I will be back, I promise you.

"NO!" exclaimed Atton. He jumped out of bed and quickly donned his robe as best he could, considering his frantic state of mind. How could I possibly fall asleep? The bloody ship is stuck between two cliffs up in the air and I FALL ASLEEP? How long have I been sleeping? I hope I'm not to late to stop her! How can she even think about going alone?

The instant he deemed himself decent, he ran out of the room, still struggling with his belt and holding the datapad between his teeth. He had barely managed to get his belt on and take the datapad out of his mouth when he burst into the main hold.

"Where's Jena?" he asked the first person he saw: Bao-Dur.

"The General? I don't know, I haven't seen her for some time… weren't you supposed to go talk to her earlier?"

"Yes, well, that's neither here nor there," dismissed Atton. "Where is she now?"

"Well, as I said, Atton…"

Atton turned to Mical who had just walked into the room and pointed his finger at him decisively. "You. You always know where Jena is. Where is she?"

"I don't know, Atton, I haven't seen her for some t—"

"Do you people all have the same answer? I need to know where she is!"

"Why?" asked Mandalore, who had just walked in. "What's the matter?"

"The matter is, I think she's gone!"

"Gone?" asked Mical.

"YES, GONE! We have to go help her. She'll never make it out on her own."

The entire crew had made its way to the main hold to find out what Atton was shouting about.

"Calm down, Atton," said Mira. "What do you mean, 'she's gone'?"

"I mean she's gone! To face Kreia!"

Mira looked skeptical. "She wouldn't have left without us. How do you know this?"

Atton instantly became more subdued. "She… um… well, she left me this message on her datapad," he said meekly.

Before Atton could do anything about it, Mical had stolen the datapad right out of his hands.

"Hey!" protested Atton. Well at least there's nothing too personal written on there…at least I don't think…

Mical quickly glanced at the datapad. "So she just… left you this message?" he asked, looking slightly suspicious. "And where were you during all this?"

"I was asleep," confessed Atton.

Mical raised an eyebrow. "Asleep?"

"Yes, asleep. I do that sometimes. I can't always be piloting your lazy asses around the galaxy."

Mical gave Atton a long look, but made no comments. Instead, he handed the datapad back to him and turned to everybody else and said, "Well, according to this message it would seem she does not wish for us to follow her… I suppose we have to respect that…"

"Are you crazy?" exploded Atton. "We have to go after her! She doesn't stand a chance on her own!"

Mical spoke cynically. "And what are we to Kreia but a handful of half-Jedi? She could eat us for breakfast and you know it. We would be of no use to Jena. We'd likely just get in the way. Perhaps even endanger her somehow."

"Yeah… Atton, seriously, you need to get over this saving fetish of yours," commented Mira. "She can take care of herself."

"Yeah, but…" He unexpectedly stopped in mid-thought, cringing. "What the…?" A pained expression appeared on his face.

"Something wrong, Atton?" she asked.

"Well, no… I don't know… this… feeling suddenly came over me. Like a great sorrow… and anger… Like a scream that tore through my head." He paused. "It's… it's Jena. Something's happened. She's really upset. Devastated." He stopped and frowned confusedly. Wait. How do I know this? Mical looked at him strangely, seemingly wondering the same thing.

"What?" demanded Atton defensively.

"Nothing… It's just that… no, that can't be… can it?" He almost sounded like he was talking to himself.

"Will you please tell me what's wrong?"

"Well," Mical started slowly, "as you know, sometimes… Force bonds form between master and student… and Jena does have an affinity for bonds…"

"Oh. Okay… Is that what it is? Then… then you all felt it too? Right?"

"No," replied Mical still looking at him strangely. "No, none of us did… no one else reacted the way you did. Bonds don't usually happen quite this fast… At least nothing like this. We all have some sort of bond with her, but none of us are able to actually experience what she's feeling…" He never took his eyes off Atton.

"Will you stop looking at me like that?" bellowed Atton. "What's WRONG?"

Mical hesitated. "Atton, what… did… did something… happen… with…" he stammered.

Atton's eyes met Mical's. They looked at each other for a moment, and the color drained from Mical's face. "Oh… oh my."

The others all looked at each other perplexed, as Micalquickly exited the room, immediately followed by Atton. No one knew where the two men went. The only thing they heard was Mical shouting angrily – had they ever heard Mical shout before? – "ATTON, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

Atton closed the door behind them, so the entire ship didn't have to witness their conversation. "Keep your voice down, will you? I don't think you need to be screaming at me like a stuck mynock. I'm right in front of you."

"What have you done?" repeated Mical less loudly.

"Yeah, I heard you the first time. As did everyone else on board, I'll bet," flippantly commented Atton.

"Atton!"

"All right, all—Hey, wait a minute. I don't have to justify myself to you. What Jena and I… what we…" He paused. "It's none of your damn business!" he yelled.

"Atton, you don't seem to understand," Mical replied, desperately trying to keep his temper in check. "You… You've made her vulnerable. Now Kreia, because of their bond, can sense this vulnerability and use it."

"How have I made her vulnerable?"

"How have…?" Mical shook his head in disbelief. "She's in love with you, you idiot!" he spat. "And Kreia can use this against her. There are many reasons why Jedi aren't supposed to love. It doesn't always have to be about falling to the Dark Side."

"But she's not… I mean… love? How do you…?"

"The bond," interrupted Mical dully. "It probably would have occurred over time, given the master and student relationship between you two…" He glared at Atton, putting venomous emphasis on the words master and student. "But this… love… she feels for you… has felt for you for some time now, I think… seems to have triggered it faster, somehow."

"Wait a minute… you knew she loved… How long have you known?"

"I've suspected for a number of weeks now," answered Mical warily.

"So that's what you were getting at on Dxun…" muttered Atton under his breath. He paused for a moment as the information filtered through his brain. She loves me? I mean I knew she liked me, but… love? Despite the gravity of the situation, Atton felt a grin forming on his face.

"Yes, well… no need to gloat," grumbled Mical.

Atton tried to conceal his grin as best he could, though he wasn't very successful.

"And now," continued Mical soberly, "we have to find some way to help her. She's obviously in trouble. Kreia must be using Jena's feelings for you against her, somehow."

"I don't get it. Kreia kept telling me to stay away from her."

Mical shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe she only thought you would cause trouble… maybe she didn't see how she could turn this to her advantage… or maybe she was using reverse psychology. Her reasons are beside the point. What else did you feel? Did you hear anything? See something?"

"No, I…" He stopped.

"What?" eagerly asked Mical.

"Well, it's… strange… there was this image… more like a flash… I was mostly concerned with this overwhelming feeling of… devastation, so I didn't stop to think… but I saw… me. I saw myself… bloodied, really badly beat up. Dying, I think."

Mical looked horror-stricken. "I was right! Kreia is using this weakness against her. Atton, we… we have to go! We have to go help her!"

"That's what I've been saying all along!" exclaimed Atton, exasperated.

Author's notes: Well, all I can say is, I hope you liked this chapter and that you'll like where I'm going with this... ;)