A/N: Hey All! Well, it's one day before exams and I'm at home with a fever, meaning I suddenly find myself with a lot of free time on my hands. So I actually have time to type up this chapter! So, you probably won't get your next chapter until January, like I originally promised, but here's the next chap to Wishful Thinking! Oh, btw, I'm sorry the breaks in the chapter didn't work last time . . . I think I've finally fixed them.

For those of you who are confused, all italicized writing is thoughts.

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"I'll tell myself, I don't need you . . . I'll tell myself I'll make it through, I'll tell myself anything to get over you." –Lincoln Avenue/Train

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The Marauders were up to something, Lily could tell, and for some reason she felt increasingly uneasy. Maren acted as if she knew nothing, yet each time the subject was broached her face darkened and she grew exceedingly cross. "If you're so obsessed with your ex-boyfriend's stupid club why don't' you just ask him yourself?" She'd yelled one day following Lily's ordeal in the Great Hall. "Or are you afraid they won't let you in on their little secrets any more? Face it, Lil, after what you did to James you probably don't even deserve to know!"

The silence that filled the girls' dorm following Maren's outburst seemed to last a lifetime. Tears gathering in her eyes and cheeks coloring, Lily could feel the room holding its breath, waiting for her response. But Lily couldn't even move her lips to speak, she felt as though her whole body had frozen. In all their years at Hogwarts, Lily and Maren had only had a handful of fights, each filled with their fair share of yelling, but nothing had ever cut Lily as deeply as those six words. "After what you did to James," What had she done? Nothing more than what he would have eventually done to Lily, surely. But though Lily had believed this to be the only way to prevent a heart break, those few words, mixed with the memory of James' wounded face and empty eyes, shattered her heart into more pieces than stars in the sky. Stars. Subconsciously, Lily reached down and grasped the moon-shaped locket James had given her on Valentine's Day. "Did you have a good time today, Lil?" "The best I've had so far this year." What have I done?

It was Andromeda Black who spoke first, coming to stand beside Lily. "That was low, Goldberg. You should be ashamed to call yourself a Gryffindor. Such qualities of betrayal and backstabbing are usually only evident in a Slytherin." Her voice, cold as steel, chipped away at Maren whose lips began to tremble nervously.

"I-I'm sorry Lily," she murmured weakly, "You know I didn't mean it."

"But you did," Lily whispered softly, "and the sad thing is, you're right. I don't deserve it, I don't deserve him, I don't deserve anything." Excusing herself, Lily gave Andromeda a small smile of thanks, and slipped from the dormitory. She chastised herself as, for the umpteenth time that year, she wandered aimlessly down Hogwarts' many corridors.

What's happened to my life? She asked herself. Making friends had never been her strong point, but she'd always been content to just have Maren. She'd always had the respect of her peers, and, since at least 5th year, she'd had the admiration of James Potter. James. She felt her heart sink, since they'd become friends, she'd felt a strange elation, a continuous high that kept her soaring above the clouds. But you killed that feeling, Lily, when you broke both your hearts. Her heart had down more than broken; it had shattered, leaving her feeling cold and empty. Lily wrapped her arms around herself, trying to reignite some of the much needed warmth James had provided for her. James. How had she ever survived without him? She couldn't seem to properly remember how to function without him by her side. Do you need him that much, Lily? Does tough, cold Lily need a man to survive? "Shut up," she whispered fiercely, cursing her conscience, "Men are not the answer!" Then why do you need James so badly? "I don't need him, I don't!" Keep telling yourself that, maybe you'll believe it one day. "Shut up!" she screamed, her voice reverberating off the walls.

"All right, there?" A soft voice questioned behind her.

The sound so startled Lily that she gave a soft shriek, jumping backwards and colliding with the owner of the voice, knocking his books to the floor. "Oh, I'm sorry!" She bent down and began gathering his books.

"It's quite all right," his voice was silky smooth, and as Lily looked up, she found herself staring into an endless void of inky black eyes. A small smile crept across his lips and he stuck out his right hand. "M'name's Reggie, and you, of course, must be the brilliant Lily Evans. James' descriptions most certainly do not do you justice, you're much prettier than he described if you'll forgive me for being so bold."

"No, it's all right," Lily felt a blush rising to her cheeks. "Are you a friend of James'?"

The scrawny boy let out a chortle, his boyish features seeming even younger as he laughed. "No, no, I merely overheard him speaking with my brother a few years ago. I haven't seen him since. 7th years don't often speak to lower classmen, you know."

There was something familiar in Reggie's features, the way his black hair was pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck tweaked at Lily's memories, but her mind was too much of a mess for her to sort through at the moment. "Are you much younger?"

"Only about a year, I'm a fifth year, but one of the older ones." He smiled amiably at her. "Say, I don't know about you, but I missed dinner and . . ." he shrugged, "would you like to join e in the kitchens?"

Lily's stomach twisted nervously, yet she found no reason why not to join the boys. He seemed friendly enough, and, due to her avoidance of the Great Hall, she'd also missed dinner. Against her better judgment, Lily smiled gratefully, "Sure, that sounds wonderful."

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A twisted smile contorting his face, he could feel the strength of evil building within him. It won't be long now, Master, Evans was easier than expected, much easier. Her heart has left her feeling so alone, she will willing cross over and then, it's only a matter of time before Potter weakens. He will crumble in your palm. Anything for his precious mudblood.

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James stumbled across the boys' dormitory, feeling through the dark with his fingers. He didn't want to draw attention to himself by lighting his wand or a candle. Though the other boys had long since retired, James had a feeling that more than one of his friends was worried about his behavior and may be keeping watch over him. He'd heard them whispering on Peter's bed after he'd pretended to sleep for an hour, and he knew it had to be about him if they were resigning themselves to Peter's bed, the furthest away from his. James had taken his invisibility cloak to bed with him and had used it to slip out from beneath the watchful eye of who ever was designated to be his keeper that evening.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, James' fingers brushed a worn piece of parchment and he knew he'd found the Marauders' Map. Though their original plan had been to plant it in Filch's office for future troublemakers to find, they'd agreed that the map may be a useful tool their last year at school, and had agreed to dispose of it properly at graduation.

Nervously running his fingers through his hair, James slipped from the dormitory and into the common room, thankful that no one else was up at that hour. Though he'd never admit it to anyone else, James was worried about Lily. He couldn't shake the look of pure terror he'd seen in her eyes earlier in the Great Hall, and, according to Andy Black, after a small squabble she'd had with Maren, Lily had disappeared. No one had seen her since after dinner. James knew that Lily was probably sleeping safely in her dorm at this very moment, but he knew he wouldn't be satisfied until he was sure. Giving one last glance to affirm that he was alone, he tapped the Map and whispered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

His eyes roved the now apparent map. Lily wasn't in her dorm. With a feeling of great trepidation, he quickly scanned the map, his eyes finally coming to rest as he found the dot labeled "Lily Evans" in the kitchens. But instead of soothing his fears, James' blood ran cold as he noticed the dot bobbing beside hers. Without a second thought, he stormed from the common room and sprinted down the halls, his heart and mind racing as the sweat from his palms trickled onto the still open map and the bobbing dot of Regulus Black.

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"Sirius," Remus Lupin bent over his friend, shaking his shoulder hard. "Sirius!"

"Mm, just five more minutes," he murmured, curling into a tight ball.

"No more minutes, Siir, James is gone."

"WHAT?!?" Sirius bolted upright, staring incredulously at Remus. "Why didn't you follow him?"

"'Cause I wasn't awake, you dolt," he whacked Sirius around the head. "You were supposed to be on watch, remember?"

Sirius chose to ignore Remus, and instead began feeling around the corners of James' bed.

"Padfoot," Remus massaged his temple in frustration, "What are you doing?"

"Looking for the map," came his muffled reply.

"It's no good, he took it."

"How do you know?"

"I looked already!"

"And how do you know you didn't overlook it?"

Remus rolled his eyes, "Accio Map!" When no parchment came zooming towards him, Remus smirked and a grumbling Sirius slid out from under James' bed.

"We have to find him! Operation 'save the marriage' won't work without James!"

"You really think they're going to get married?" Remus asked conversationally, eliciting a low growl and a glare from Sirius. "All right, all right, we'll help James. But Padfoort, you can't watch over him forever. Girls are a part of life, I know he thinks Lily's the one, but she might not feel the same. I'll help this time, but if it happens again . . . James has to figure it out on his own."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "You done yet?"

"Yes . . ."

"Then let's go."

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It was oddly quiet in the kitchens; the house elves had retired for the night, telling the two students not to hesitate to beckon them. Though Lily would have usually found the silence soothing, tonight it felt dangerous. It felt alive, as though it was waiting to swallow Lily when she least expected it. Still slightly uneasy, Lily had just opened her mouth to speak, when Reggie gave her a sad smile.

"It's not easy being alone, is it?"

Lily was taken aback, "What do you mean?"

"I know how you feel, Lily. You feel empty, alone, frozen inside. Your heart is broken and your soul feels torn. You don't think there's anything left living for anymore, because you've messed your life up too much for it to ever be undone. But there is a cause, Lily Evans, there's a cause worth fighting for. You can feel it, can't you? You can feel the darkness pulsing around you. It's alive, you know it is. Don't fight it, Lily, accept it, embrace it. He wants you, Lily. He'll make you feel accepted. You won't need those petty emotions, he'll fill you with strength, and he'll give you everything you need. You know you want to give in, Lily. Accept the Dark Lord; he's been waiting for you for so long." His eyes glinted with malice as he proclaimed these finally words, taking joy in the fear that shone in Lily's eyes.

"Reggie, what are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke?"

"It's no joke, Lily, I've felt that emptiness before. It's a feeling no one should ever have to encounter, and now, neither of us will have to anymore. I've been saved, Lily, and soon you will be too."

"Reggie," she took a step backwards, inching towards the door. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but this isn't funny anymore. I'm leaving."

"No, you're not." With a flick of his wand Lily was pinned against the wall. "The Dark Lord has been waiting for this moment for so long, mudblood, I won't make him wait any longer."

Lily struggled, determined to keep Reggie speaking while she concentrated on finding a way out of his spell. "Why would the Dark Lord want me? What you've said is true, I am muggle-born."

Reggie laughed, a cold, menacing laugh that chilled Lily to the bones. "You may be a mudblood, but you're clever and bright. The Dark Lord believes you have a purpose, one that you will undoubtedly serve."

"What purpose?" she gasped as he started forward. "What purpose will I serve?"

"You mean you don't know? Clever Lily can't figure out her destiny?" he laughed yet again. "Think about it Lily. The Great War is coming, and the darkness needs to defeat those enemies strongest in the arts of light. Who do you know who has a powerful link to two of the most powerful aurors?"

"James," Lily whispered suddenly, forgetting Reggie could hear her. "I'm just the bait, its James you really want."

"See, I knew you could figure it out." He inched closer. "It is time, Lily. Time to put aside this petty conversation, time to accept your destiny. You can feel it, can't you Lily? The Dark Lord can give you whatever you desire."

As he pressed closer, Lily saw images swim before her. All of her dreams, from graduating Hogwarts as a Valedictorian, to marrying the one man she truly loved, Lily could feel the darkness pulsing around her, tempting her. "No, no," she murmured weakly. "I don't believe it, I don't."

"The Dark Lord can offer you anything, Lily Evans, accept him, and your dreams will all come true."

"No, no," she whispered, but she could feel herself weakening. The Dark Lord was too strong, too overpowering. And the dreams, ah her dreams, she wanted them all so badly, could he really give them to her?

"Yes, Lily Evans," a cruel, icy voice broke from the darkness, "You will have all that you desire. I want you, mudblood, and you need me. I can make the emptiness go away. Together, we can destroy the one who's done this to you. Together, we can destroy James Potter."

"No!" she shrieked, a blinding light emanating from her body, fighting the darkness. "You won't hurt him! I. Love. Him!"

"Don't you touch her!" A loud voice broke through the darkness and lights shimmered around Lily's head. Dimly, she could make out Reggie backing into a corner, cowering before the new entrant. "Get out, Regulus, leave now. Dumbledore is coming. Not even Voldemort can defeat Dumbledore."

"Don't say his name," Reggie hissed, his face pallid with fear.

"I'm warning you, Regulus."

The boy's eyes twitched nervously, "You may have won this time, Potter, but the Dark Lord with have you!"

James Potter lunged towards the boy, but Regulus had disappeared in a puff of thickening black smoke. Cursing, he turned from the empty corner, and shifted towards Lily, catching her in his arms as Regulus' spell was broken, and she fell from the wall.

"Lily, are you all right?"

Lily turned her face up, meeting his almond shaped eyes. Her face registered a look of surprise, which quickly faded into one of defiance. "I've told you before, Potter, I can handle myself."

"And I've told you before," he cradled her close, breathing in her sweet scent as her body shivered against his. "My name is James." And with that, he softly pressed his lips against hers, banishing the emptiness within her, and filling it with what she craved. Love.

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A/N: Meh, not quite sure I'm happy with that last line, but then again . . . this fever is probably making me semi-delirious. Happy Holidays to Everyone! Or, as John Mayer would say, Happy Nondenominational Holiday!

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