I'm scared.
No, I take that back, I'm not scared of anything.
Truth is, I don't know how I feel.
I'm worried.
That makes me mad.
I'm also terrified.
The problem though, is that I don't know exactly what is freaking me out here.
I'm worried about Brendan.
I truly am scared that I'm going to lose him.
However, I'm also scared of why I'm so scared to lose him.
I don't believe in love.
Carlos thinks I'm a cynic.
I've never had any reason to believe in love though.
At least, until I met Brendan.
He is an amazing guy.
He is sweet, smart and so good looking.
He told me he loves me.
It was just once.
He said I didn't have to reciprocate.
He said he cares.
He said he understands.
He said he'll wait until I'm ready.
It's not something I ever expected.
It's not something I'm familiar with.
It is there though.
I just wish that I had realized it before Brendan was lying in a coma in a hospital bed.
This is the way it happened though.
I'm finally ready to admit it.
I am in love with Brendan Finney.