Part 2: End of the Innocence

The End of the Innocence by Don Henley

Remember when the days were long
And rolled beneath a deep blue sky
Didn't have a care in the world
With mommy and daddy standin' by
But "happily ever after" fails
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers dwell on small details
Since daddy had to fly
But I know a place where we can go
That's still untouched by men
We'll sit and watch the clouds roll by
And the tall grass wave in the wind
You can lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair fall all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence
O beautiful, for spacious skies
But now those skies are threatening
They're beating plowshares into swords
For this tired old man that we elected king
Armchair warriors often fail
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers clean up all details
Since daddy had to lie
But I know a place where we can go
And wash away this sin
We'll sit and watch the clouds roll by
And the tall grass wave in the wind
Just lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair spill all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence
Who knows how long this will last
Now we've come so far, so fast
But, somewhere back there in the dust
That same small town in each of us
I need to remember this
So baby give me just one kiss
And let me take a long last look
Before we say goodbye
Just lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair fall all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

Chapter 5: Saying Good-bye

James' POV

We had decided. This was it; the turning point in our lives. We couldn't go back now. We would never go back. I knew that deep in my gut. Lily was letting loose like a dam. And although we were laughing, I'm sure they were feeling the same as I. This was good-bye to everything we had ever known and understood. This was starting something new and scary.

We were going to Dumbledore in a few minutes. We were all dressed, and Lily was simply tying her hair back. She walked out of the bathroom, wearing lilac robes that were not nearly as loose as her school ones. I had on a pair of informal black ones and Remus wearing warm gray ones. Padfoot, always one to stand out, had on orange robes. We all slipped on out dark winter cloaks and apparated to Hogsmede. The village was buzzing but people seemed more conscious of those around them. Everyone kept looking over his or her shoulder. If I had a chance to help end this paranoia, I was glad to take it. We walked quickly to Hogwarts, our hands and noses numb by the time we climbed the wide stone steps.

"Never thought I'd be back here," Padfoot mused, pulling the door open and holding if for us. It closed with a shudder behind him. Noise was coming from the Great Hall. It was lunchtime.

"Suppose Dumbledore is going to be in there…shall we go in?" Remus said quietly. We nodded and started towards the doors. The four tables were filled with laughing children eating their lunches. Many of the faces were familiar and people let out cheers as we stepped in.

"WHOOHOO! The Marauders are back!" came from the Gryffindor table. Dumbledore looked up from his conversation McGonagall. He smiled at us. We began walking up, past our old table when a little second year stuck out a hand and grabbed Lily.

"Hi Lily," the sandy-blonde haired girl said.

"Maria!" Lily stooped and hugged the girl. I recognized her as the kid Lily had tutored in Charms. "It is great to see you Maria. I've got to go talk to the Headmaster now, though, but I'll talk to you soon." With a wave, Lily continued with us up to the staff table. We stood before Dumbledore. He bridged his fingers and gazed calmly at us.

"So?" he said.

"Yes," Lily said proudly, holding herself in her Head Girl posture. She made me smile when she did that; she looked so authoritative.

"Yes," Remus told Dumbledore. He spoke quietly but his eyes blazed with certainty and strength.

"Count me in, Teach," Sirius said smiling and standing strait and imposingly; his face showed humor but also determination for what was right.

I answered last, balancing my last few seconds before I had to let childhood go. Then Lily squeezed my hand discreetly and I knew I was ready, "Yes."

Dumbledore beamed at us, not saying a word, but a tear showed at the crease of his eyes.

We walked out of the Hall grinning and confident; we were doing something that was right, that was good. And there was no time to be afraid anymore, just time to do the correct thing. As we walked out the front doors and began down the steps I had so often used, I stopped looking at this as the end but as the beginning of something wonderful.

April 1977 (Five months later)

Lily's POV

A lot had happened over the past months. James and Sirius had started Auror training. I had decided that it just was not for me and that I needed a job that would pay right now. So Sirius had taken my spot in the program. I had gone to the ministry and applied for a job in Experimental Charms. Two days later I received an owl saying that I was to show up at 8:00 a.m. the next day. Now we were each out of the house for at least 20 hours a day. Between studies and work we were being spread thin but now we had the Order to worry about to. Oh, yes it was quite fun. Training for it was a blast and some of the missions left me feeling like I could save the world. But when somebody died, it was bad.

Anoph Jone had joined when we did. He was the sweetest guy, and a wonderful fighter. Too wonderful, and to much of a threat. He and his whole family had been killed. Amy, Christopher, Philip, Michael, Caleb, Nelly; all gone with Anoph. Little babies. Who could have killed five little children?

The day of the funeral was April 10. Seven coffins; two little ones. Many members of the order were there. James, Sirius, Remus, and I were. Black robes everywhere. I was crying hard. Sometimes it seemed like the Order had caused me nothing but pain. I never cried before it.

The four of us edged up, walking limply through the graves. We watched all seven boxes lowered in a strait line. A family plot for sure. Then we walked away. It was close to the edge of the graveyard when I stopped. I moaned in grief and covered my face with my hands. I felt James hug me and I continued to cry.

Sirius' POV

Lily sobbing always wrenched my heart. I hated to watch it. She was a strong person, physically and mentally. When she broke down like this you could tell things were going very badly. The sunlight was strained through grayish clouds and it made patterns on the ground, which I watched instead of Lily. She and James walked away from Remus and I a bit while the two of us pretended not to listen.

"James, I can't laugh anymore. I feel like all I ever do is cry!"

"We all feel like that, Lily, you'll be fine though."

"NO I WON'T! I can't watch this anymore. Look! Look over there! One of my best friends is dead. Her whole family is dead!" Lily's voice cracked with another sob.

"You don't think we're all not feeling the same thing, Evans? Everyone is hurting. They were my friends too. Stop acting like everything just happens to you!"

"Don't you 'Evans' me, Potter!" Lily walked away fiercely. She loved it when James called her Evans, she was just too angry right now. James brought his hands up to his head and ran them over his face, kicking the ground grumpily.

"Whoa," Remus whispered to me, "Just like at Hogwarts, only Prongs was doing the yelling this time."

Remus and I laughed quietly at his joke. James sent us a death glare and we shut up. Then we apparated home.