Chapter Six
Fears
Huy was walking home from practice when he saw Tai just ahead of him. He ran softly, attempting to sneak up on his brother. Just when he got behind him, he jumped up, wrapped his arms around Tai's neck in a headlock, pull him over his knee. "Haha! Got you!" But in less than two seconds Huy found himself gazing up at a slowly darkening sky and his brother's smirking face.
"You sure did. See how I'm struggling to escape?" he retorted sarcastically.
"Awshut up. Don't you think you could at least pretend to let me win for once?"
"I've got too much pride for that," Tai said simply. Huy grinned as Tai grabbed his hand and yanked him to his feet. "Huy, do you think that Julie is bothered by me any more?"
"That was random"
"It's just kind of been on my mind. Especially with my friend coming."
"So there is something going on!"
"No, but that won't stop her from thinking that there is and getting her feelings hurt."
Huy sighed. "Well, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think she and Kieko are going on an exercising kick right now, and are pretty distracted. You're probably ancient history in her mind."
"And exercising kick?" Tai asked standing behind his brother as he unlocked the dorm building and let them both in.
"Yah–they both suddenly are concerned about their weight. I don't get it. How can they think they're fat! I mean, if you call that fatI'd hate to see what you call those monstrous women you see around!"
Tai shrugged as he followed his brother inside and up the stairs. "That's just a common thing with women–worrying about appearance. And it's something you have to remember to NEVER joke about with them."
"YahI don't get it. Even Yachi's starting to get like that! Did you read her last email? She sounded like alike a TEENAGER! Isn't that disturbing?"
"Not really. She's twelve already. She can't be the baby forever, no matter what the rest of us may want."
They walked into their dorm room and simultaneously threw down their backpacks, sighed, and flopped onto their respective beds. "You knowI think Kieko might be frightened if she ever saw us do that," Huy noted.
"Perhaps. I think she'd just giggle till she was blue in the face."
Huy cackled at his brother's comment. "Maybe we should make sure that she sees it at least once."
Tai sat up and turned to the computer. Huy got up too and dragged a massive history book from his backpack. "Time to hit the books. You got an essay due?"
"No" Tai said slowly. He was distracted by an email he was reading. "My friend just emailed. She's coming in about two o'clock on Monday."
"Okay. I won't be using the car or anything. You want me to come with?"
"No. I think it would be better if I went alone. Then I can explain everything. If you came, Kieko would probably want to come too and then things could getsticky."
"I don't get why you don't want her to know anything more. You've already told her the big stuff. And why are you so secretive about this girl? Who is she anyway?" Huy was a little worried about his brother lately. Tai had been quiet about things before, but he hadn't even told him this girl's name. And any time Huy asked about it, Tai clamed up and changed the subject. Of course, Tai didn't know that Huy could tell when Tai was avoiding something. "I'm going to be meeting her. Don't you think you should tell your twin at least something about her?"
"Aren't there some things that you just don't feel like sharing? Even with Kieko?" Tai asked, turning to his brother.
"Tai, this is different." Tai stared at the keyboard as his brother lectured him. "Tai, you're worrying me. I've never seen you so preoccupied before. It's justweird. You're always quiet, but not like this."
"I'mvery confused. I'll work it out."
"It's about that girl, isn't it."
Tai didn't answer him.
"Oh come on! Tai! Don't be so weird! Who is she?"
"Huy" Tai turned to his brother, "I'm sorry. I can't tell you anything about her. Maybe some time I can, but not now. Normally in a situation like this, I'd just ignore your question and rudely walk out, but you are my brother and I thought you deserved at least this much of an explanation. I can't tell you. So please don't question me because you'll only get angry at my silence."
Huy just stared at his brother. "Was she some kind of spy in the war or something?"
Tai just typed his answer to the nameless friend.
"Arg!" Huy flopped angrily and firmly down onto his bed. Then he glared over at his brother. "Can't you at least tell me her name? She's going to have to have a name when I meet her," Huy said in a strained, angry voice.
"Her name" Tai said slowly, as if it was the first time he'd said the name, hesitantly, as if he was afraid of mispronunciation.
"That's not her real name, is it?" Huy concluded instantaneously.
Tai didn't answer.
Deirdre straightened her spine against the back of the swivel chair in front of the computer. She wasn't sure what to think. She had been so excited to see Heero again, but now, doubt and fear began to creep into her.
Heero had emailed her back after she told him when she was flying in–two in the afternoon Monday and she would be leaving Friday at ten in the morning. But after this messageand remembering his voice over the phone, she realized that she did not know this Heero. She knew and understood the old Heero, but the new one she did not understand how to treat.
Her eyes went back to the screen as she re-read the short message.
"Deirdre,
Thanks for the email. I'll come and pick you up at two. After you get off the shuttle, go to the escalators. There will be several moving up and down, but just stay at the bottom. I will meet you there. Good luck on your exams and I hope you have a nice flight.
Tai"
He sounded sofriendly. Well, friendly for him. Heero was a kind person, that she had always understood, but he never showed it so openly. Perhaps he was just allowing his true feelings to show more; maybe he was breaking out of the apathy he'd been living in. But then again, Heero had never been that apathetic, just quiet. Trowa was the apathetic one.
Deirdre nervously bit her lower lip as she tried to decide what to do. It was already Wednesday. And she would see Heero in less than a week. She supposed that "Tai" was the name he was using now. He had told her over the phone that he'd explain everything. It would take some getting used to--to remember to call him "Tai" and not "Heero".
"Tai" she whispered. She liked the way "Heero" rolled off of her tongue better, but Tai wasn't bad. It was like Heero–short and to the point with a soft sound.
She knew that many of her friends believed her infatuated with Heero. She had followed him around during her teen years, and still thought of him often, but it was not like that. Heero had always made her feel safe, somehow. It was odd thinking of that considering he was an assassin, but he created a sense of security. It was the self-confidence and efficiency in which he did everything. He never bumbled around with indecision; he always made a choice and executed it. And it was always the right choice, at least it seemed that way. They only mistake she'd ever known him to make was assassinating the pacifists. But even after that, he kept his confidence and traveled around to offer the families of those murdered a form of retribution. Some people called it cocky, some arrogant. But it drew Deirdre to him during her time of uncertainty–when she found out that her life was not as she'd always thought it was. She found out that her father was not really her father at all, then he died, leaving her in her confused teenage state. She loved her mother dearly, but she had never been able to talk to her, she didn't need to. She had never spoken to her father either, but she had never had anything to talk about in the first place. As she did not know how to approach her mother in her time of need, the first time she'd ever needed her, she leaned towards an outside source instead. Heero. And that was why she had chased him. And her belief that he could help her with anything, keep her safe through everything never proved misplaced.
It wasn't until the Marimeia incident that she had begun to realizeother feelings for him were present.
After she heard about his leukemia, then his supposed death, it was as if her security blanket had been shredded, leaving her naked and abandoned in a storm. That was why she longed to see him again. That was why she was going to him. He would be her protector, always. He had said so.
Her mind flew back to the time he'd found her in the White Fang headquarters and been hurt in an explosion. But then he got into his mobile suit to fight. She had tried to stop him, but then he spoke to her. She'd never forget what he told her.
I'll defeat Zechs, and then I'll get Treize. Then the war will be over. Afterward, if you survive, there will finally be peace. This is the only thing I can do for youI promised to protect you. But to protect you and the Earth Sphere I have no choice but to fightLet me fightTrust me.
And there was peace, but only because he had protected it, protected her, protected the Earth Sphere.
A single tear settled itself on her cheek. She remembered the look in his eyes as he said that. His eyes were always so vivid and bright, so kind. She longed to have him with her this moment, among her stresses and confusion. She didn't need to speak of her problems, just sit with him and know that everything would come out in the end. That was his special quality, what made him Heeroor nowTai. She hoped that she wouldn't slip up and call him Heero while she visited.
Deirdre shrugged her feelings off and signed out of the computer. She was using a computer lab. She did not have a computer in her apartment, mostly because it was a pain to move them around and she could just use one of the many on campus.
She exited the library and walked slowly home, her mind working hard. She tried to visualize what Heero must be like now. Then she corrected herselfshe had to think Tai. She already knew what he looked like now–quite a bit the same as he had before, just taller with a thinner face. She wondered if he'd still be wearing that same green tank top and the denim jacket he had adopted shortly before the Marimeia incident.
Her apartment was loud and full as usual. Each year she lived in a different apartment with different girls, each time her home had had it's own unique personality. This year it happened to be "boisterous." It was a constant for this year and was comforting. Everything was normal and happy.
In her bedroom, she sat down with a sigh. Kiki was in the kitchen getting dinner for herself so Deirdre had a few moments alone. She took in several large breaths to clear her mind. She would take it as it came. Just like she did with dealing with Pablo and Marcus and Ianthe and everything else.
Kiki walked into the room, surprisingly heavy footed for such a tiny girl, as usual, and sat on her bad across from Deirdre. "What's wrong? You look upset again."
Deirdre gave her soft smile and quiet laugh. "You're getting dangerous to be around Kiki. You seem to know everything that goes through my mind now!" she joked gently.
Kiki snorted and folded her arms. "What happened?"
"I'm just a little confused. My friend doesn't seem the same as he was when I last saw him. I'm just thinking of how I'm going to have to get used to so many changes in him."
"Changed how? For the worse?"
Deirdre smiled againKiki was very negative, but how could she help it? She'd only ever seen people go downhill in life. "No, I think it's for the better, but I can't be sure. I haven't seen him."
"How different?" Kiki repeated.
"More friendly, perhaps more open. I can't quite put my finger on it." Deirdre laughed and brushed off the conversation. "I'll know soon enough though! How was your day?"
Kiki rolled her eyes. "I'm about to kill my professor in calculus." Kiki was a physics major and all of her teachers got on her nerves. Deirdre had once suggested it was too many radioactive fumes from uranium and radium. She had been rewarded by a typical Kiki glare.
"What happened this time?"
"He made a crack on Filipinos"
Deirdre nodded in understanding. It was hard to hold your tongue when someone cracked on something or someone very important to you. She had nearly blown up when someone said something about Milliardo. Kiki was half Filipino. Her mother had come from the islands on Earth. Her father was a colonist who had been stationed there, fallen for Kiki's mother, and married her. But it had not ended happily and Kiki cynicism, anger, and moody countenance was the result. Although Kiki would never say it, Deirdre could see how she loved her mother, despite everything. And she was very sensitive about her heritage. Once Deirdre had asked where Kiki would go if she could go anywhere. She had said she'd take her mother home–to the Philippines.
"What does that old hag know anyway? She's probably never even been to Earth!" Kiki fumed.
"Probably not," Deirdre agreed calmly. "And that's why you should ignore her. She's not physically hurting anything so just ignore it."
"How can you be so placid and calm after everything? Huh? How can you let people walk all over you like this? Can't you fight back?" Kiki asked angrily, abruptly changing the topic.
"I can and do fight back, but in my own way. And I do have quite a temper–it's just that no one here knows how to trigger it!" Deirdre smiled. Kiki laughed in derision.
"You still let people walk all over youthat Pablo stuff went on for monthsand this guyand Ianthe"
"But I did end Pablo, and Ianthe just misunderstood the situation. And as for Tai, you'd have to know him to understand."
"So his name's Tai, is it? What is he, Korean?"
Deirdre had carefully avoided giving a name to Heero until she learned what he was going by now. She was glad he'd emailed it to her. It created some awkward sentences and suspicious looks. "No. Japanese. But I do know that all Japanese people have at least some Korean blood in them. Maybe his parents just like that name."
"Hey Deir, Kiki! We've got some pizza out of the oven. You want any?" Maryanne asked through the door.
"Sure. We're coming!" As Deirdre got up to leave, Kiki grabbed her arm quickly.
"Just promise me something Deirdre. Don't let this Tai walk all over you. I still don't like this andI don't want you to get into trouble with all this stuff. I worry about you," Kiki told her quietly.
Deirdre smiled again. "Thank you for the concern, but I'm perfectly safe with Tai. But I will watch out for myself as you ask." Deirdre gave Kiki a quick hug and the two girls went out of the room.
"Amada, don't you dare take that seat!" they could hear Ianthe yelling.
"Finders keepers, losers weepers!"
"Not if the other person can hit harder!"
Amada gave a yelp of pain and Maryanne sat giggling while Celes looked at the pizza with big eyes. "It's so fatty and greasy" she moaned softly.
Tai finished his fifth rep and continued to push himself. His arms were starting to ache a little–he'd been at the gym for forty-five minutes now. But he needed to work off his frustrations left over from an aggravating study session with his friend Kade and their group, his worries about Huy from yesterday, and confusions about Relena. These past two days had been a mess. If there was one thing that annoyed Tai, it was people who never studied or prepared for class and then expected everyone to give them the answers. Well, not Tai. And it hurt him that he was hurting his brother by not speaking about this. But he just couldn't, not while Relena was hiding herself. But, as soon as she went public again, he was telling Huy everything. This was almost more trouble than it was worth.
Another good reason for this was he could use this time for his class. Tai always took one gym class a semester to help him stay in shape. He just had to reach a certain goal by the end of the semester and spend a certain number of hours in the on campus gym every week. He had a little card that he punched into each machine so that at the end of the semester he could have a printout sheet of his progress.
It felt good to exercise too. He could forget about his stresses and just work, mindless work. And after all his studying, mindless is all he cared about. Some people may like to talk about their problems; he just worked until he forgot them. But then there were the select few who did both
"And then, you know at this point I was getting kinda' ticked, she had the nerve to yell at me and bring up this thing that happened three years ago! Can you believe that–the woman never lets go! I was so ticked. But then, like I was telling you, I just said, no way, no how. I don't have to take this,' so I just walked myself right out of there. And I didn't even look back. And she, oh man, she was so mad at me for that. I bet she's just longing for me to come back! Hahah!"
"Good for you," Tai grunted as he pushed harder. He usually just ran into random people at the gym and paired up with one so that they could spot each other. You never work out without a spot. And people were generally pretty nice. One guy had snorted at Tai once, saying that he was too weak to be any help to him at all. But Tai could lift more than a good 90% of the people who came to the gym, so it hadn't bothered him. And there were plenty regulars, so by about half way through the semester, he knew just about everyone. This particular guy was a chronic womanizer with an IQ of about 82. Tai couldn't figure out how the guy had gotten into Swinson for about the first month, then he found out he was on a wrestling scholarship. Scholarship athletes were always morons, or mostly morons in Tai's experience. Obviously they couldn't all be idiots. Huy was one example of a semi-intelligent life form, but at times Tai still had his doubts about even Huy.
His arms started to shake a little and Tai wondered if Godfrey was even looking at him. Tai looked up at him and saw Godfrey eyeing some girls walking over, as he ranted about his long-term girlfriend. Tai could not understand some people, these guys who were so driven by something other than their brains. Maybe he just didn't have enough hormones or somethingbut none of his family or even his friends were like that.
He turned himself back to his work when he heard someone call out his name. He stopped, put the bar back and sat up to see Kieko, Julie, and a girl with shockingly vivid red hair that he didn't know standing around him with Godfrey grinning stupidly.
"Hi. What's going on?" he asked.
"We were just working out!" Kieko said proudly.
"She's just started to think about getting married and now she's all nervous about being flabby," Julie said softly. Kieko swatted her. Tai raised an eyebrow.
Kieko looked back to Tai, blushing now. "I'm not really that nervous"
"You'll just have to excuse the little virgin," the third girl Tai didn't know said. "I guess they're always nervous about the first time." She winked at Tai.
He shrugged. "I wouldn't know." The redhead's eyes widened a little at the implication. He smiled at Kieko. "I wouldn't be so worried if I were you. Huy's completely in love with you. He won't notice, and he wouldn't have room to talk anyway. Besides, you can't be that flabby–you're too thin," he told her frankly. "Huy may even have to fatten you up."
Julie allowed herself a smile and the unknown girl outright snorted. Kieko still looked embarrassed. "I know. I guess it's just one of those irrational fears of mine"
"Well, rationalize it away. There's nothing wrong with exercising, just don't get the typical fat-phobia' that many women seem to have."
Kieko smiled, but then jumped. "I'm sorry! I forgot to introduce you! This is Tessa. Tessa, this is Tai, Huy's brother."
"Hi," Tessa wiggled a few fingers as a wave to him.
Tai nodded. "Pleasure," he said shortly.
"How much do you lift anyway?" she asked, eyeing the bar above him.
"Only 240. I do 260." Godfrey had decided to jump in the conversation. "And that's only when I'm not pushing myself."
"That's nice" Tessa said sarcastically. Apparently large, sweaty, bragging men were not her type.
Kieko caught Tai's eye and nodded over to a corner. Tai got up and followed Kieko a little ways away while Godfrey tried to no avail to impress Tessa. Julie just looked shyly around. She seemed very out of place.
"I wanted to ask you something about Huy. Is he okay? He's been acting really weird lately. I was wondering if you knew anything."
"How's he acting?" Tai asked curiously.
"He's just really quiet and snappish. He's never like that, especially to me. I just don't understand!"
Tai rested a hand on Kieko's shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm sure it has nothing to do with you. I'll see if I can figure anything out."
Kieko smiled at him. "Thank you." Then she laughed in Godfrey's direction. "Tessa can take care of herself, but I think I'd better rescue Julie."
"Sorry about himhe's nothing but walking viagra."
Kieko snorted. "Tai, you are so weird sometimes. You are so quiet and calm, but every now and then you surprise me!" She patted his head as if he were a lovable mutt as they walked back to the group.
"What do you expect. I'm always hanging around Huy."
Kieko's eyes twinkled, then saddened at the thought of her fiancé's behavior.
Tai caught her look. "Don't worry. I'll take care of it." Kieko nodded hesitantly.
Duo sat up in bed suddenly. He looked over at the clock. It was three in the morning. He stifled a groan. Duo had to be up for work at seven and at this rate he wasn't going to be getting any sleep. Hilde was sleeping away beside him, one arm around his waist, head on his chest.
He wrapped an arm back around her shoulders and tried not to move too much and wake her. He was so restless!
Slithering quietly out of bed, Duo padded to the kitchen in his socks. He fumbled for the light switch and got a cup off water. Sitting at the dining room table, Duo sipped at his water, trying to analyze his mind, why he couldn't sleep. Flopping his head down on the table, face down, Duo groaned softly. Why couldn't he sleep!
He turned his head to the side and looked around the small apartment. It was tiny, but home. And with a baby coming and running a business, they had to live as cheaply as possible. Maybe after a few years they'd be doing well enough that they could make a down payment on a house or something.
A metal stick seemingly pointing straight up from a chair across from Duo caught his attention. Odd. He sat up and grabbed it, and pulled up a knitting project with it.
Duo held a tiny sleeper in his hands. Hilde had been trying to learn to knit and crochet so that she could make blankets and clothes for the baby. The stitches were large and uneven, but it looked much better than her last effort. He could at least figure out what this was supposed to be. He rubbed the soft yarn and his mouth tightened.
Make no mistake, Duo was ecstatic over having a baby. But that didn't mean he wasn't nervous as a rattlesnake. He was surprised he wasn't shaking all the time. Hilde would be a good mother. She was the oldest child in her family and had taken care of siblings before, but all Duo knew of family is what he had learned at the Maxwell church. Love. And so maybe he was worrying over nothing. He just hoped he could live up to his new title–father.
"Hey, what are you doing up?" Hilde asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes and yawning. Duo put the knitting on the table and smiled as she settled her flannel-clad body onto his lap.
"I couldn't sleep," he told her, running his fingers through her short hair.
She patted him on the arm. "There really is no reason to be so nervous. It is a big deal, but everything will work out. Don't worry."
"What are you talking about?" Duo asked, confused.
Hilde rolled her sleep-filled eyes at her husband. "Don't play innocent with me, mister. You know what I'm talking about. The baby!"
"OhI'm not worried about that. Don't be silly!" Duo was trying to convince himself as much as her.
But his wife laughed. He couldn't fool her. "Duo," she said, sitting up and holding his face in both of her hands. "I thought you said you never tell a lie."
Duo grinned and his cheeks mashed into a goofy smile in her hands. She started to giggle and fell back onto him, laughing. "I think someone needs to go back to bed," Duo told her, now laughing too.
"It's lonely. I need company," Hilde said slyly, walking her fingers up his chest to pull his chin down to her level.
Duo rolled his eyes. "And such a big girl too!" But Duo put his cup down and slung Hilde over his shoulder. "Off to bed!"
"Hey! You put me down now!" she yelled, laughing.
"I thought you wanted me to take you to bed," he said in mock confusion.
"You know what I meant, Duo Maxwell!"
"But I don't," he maintained innocently. As he left the kitchen, Hilde still over shoulder, he turned to look at the knitting on the table as he turned out the light. He sincerely hoped for his child's sake that he would be a good father.
"Duo! I'm serious! Don't make me hurt you!"
Duo snapped out of his reverie to concentrate on the important matter immediately on hand--tickling his wife while keeping her dangling feet at a safe distance.
Tai unlocked the car door in the student parking lot. He'd left a book in it the other day when he'd gone to the public library. As he opened the door a horrible combination of hot, stale air, BO, and moldy food nearly knocked him over.
Crinkling his nose, he surveyed the car. It was full of dirty socks, sweaty basketball shorts, several pairs of worn shoes, crinkled fast food papers, greasy napkins, and random sheets of wadded up paper and receipts.
Tai folded his arms and glared at it. There was no way he was taking the car like this to pick up Relenahe quickly corrected himself. Reluctantly he climbed in the car are drove to he and Huy's dorm. There was no parking, but there were places to leave your car while you moved in and out of your dorms. He'd just leave the car here or a bit.
Picking up a few small pieces of gravel, Tai took aim and threw them at he and Huy's window. After a few shots, an angry head stuck itself out. "Tai!" Huy yelled in surprise. "What are you doing?!?!"
"Come and get your smelly junk out of the car! And then you're going to help me clean it out! It nearly wiped me out!"
Huy grumbled and slammed the window shut. He was testy, Tai observed, reminding him of his promise to Kieko.
Tai went into their building and borrowed a vacuum cleaner, a mop bucket, a mop, several sponges, and several towels from the custodial closet while Huy cleaned his stuff out.
"I can't believe that I had this much junk in there!" Huy said in wonderment, scratching his head. He had a large garbage bag full of trash and his duffel bag was stuffed full of clothes and shoes.
Tai picked up a moldy sock from the floor of the car that Huy had missed. "You might consider just throwing some of this away–it's not worth cleaning, if possible."
Huy grinned evilly. "I might actually have a use for some of this"
"Who are you planning on?" Tai asked.
"I don't knowI'm thinking the boys down the hall have been pretty noisy with their girlfriends lately. Maybe I should force them to relocate"
Tai nodded. "I kind of like that idea."
Huy grinned and grabbed the mop. Tai was scrubbing the bumper with a sponge when he felt his back grow very wet. "Huy"
"Ye-es?" Huy asked in his singsong oh-so-innocent voice.
Tai turned around to see Huy behind him, mop resting across the back of his shoulder. Tai grabbed the wet towel that had lain beside him and twisted it tightly, and did a very good imitation of his brother's evil laugh.
Huy laughed madly and took off, Tai on his heels.
Turning so sharply that he skidded to a stop, Huy concealed himself be hind a tree. "I know you're out there Tai! But I won't let you get me!" He felt a sharp smack on his forehead. Huy slid to the ground and stood up on the other side of the tree to face Tai in a full lunge ready to flip his weapon. "EEK!!!"
Kieko, Julie, and Tessa were walking over to the dorms when they saw Huy holding a dripping mop above his head and running for his dear life, angry red splotches dotted his face, Tai after him, his front completely dry and his back soaking wet, winding a towel tightly.
"Not again" Kieko groaned. "You'd think after so many years Huy would learn that he can never get the best of Tai. He's just so much stronger and faster," she said, exasperated as Tai pinned Huy to the grass, holding the mop handle to his neck.
"Well, its no wonder that they are so thin" Tessa said softly. But she was grinning at the soaking boys.
Kieko snorted and marched over to them, Julie and Tessa following. And she wasn't sure that she appreciated the way Tessa was eyeing her fiancé and friend. "If you two children can stop trying to kill each other for about five minutes, can you explain what you are doing? You BOTH should be studying!" Her hands were firmly on her hips and her eyes were narrowed.
"Well thank you mother for your intervention. I never would have realized it was wrong to murder my brother," Tai said innocently.
Huy howled as all three girls stared at Tai, mouths dragging. "Nice one," he chuckled. Tai shrugged and climbed off his brother, offering a hand and pulling Huy to his feet.
"We better finish that car" Tai reminded.
"Yah. You guys can help us if you want too!" Huy said hopefully.
"Help with what?" Julie asked.
"We're cleaning the car. I opened the door and the smell knocked the breath out of me," Tai explained. Huy whistled happily, mop across his shoulders, as they sidled back to the car.
Tessa laughed. "And you're admitting that you made it smell that bad?"
"No. I'm admitting that he," and Tai pointed to Huy, who was currently concentrating on mopping the top of the car, "made it smell that bad. I never go out for fast food and I certainly don't own any school paraphernalia."
Tessa dissolved into giggles and Tai returned to cleaning the car, concealing his rolling eyes. Julie picked up some glass cleaner and washed the windows while Kieko attempted to help Huy, but ended up getting kissed a couple times instead.
After they finished the car they all piled in and drove it back to it's parking spot then went to Julie and Kieko's apartment to make dinner. They all pitched in so it didn't take long. But Tai began to get suspicious about Kieko and her matchmaker attempts again–Tessa was following him around and asking him millions of questions.
When they finally sat down to eat, Julie interrupted with her quiet question. "Tai, when exactly is your friend going to be here?"
"Oh yah! I almost forgot!" Kieko jumped in. Tessa looked confused.
"She'll be flying in at two on Monday. She emailed me Wednesday about it. She'll be leaving Friday morning. I hope this isn't too much trouble."
"Oh no. We'll have tons of girly fun when you drop her off at night!" Kieko grinned.
"Who are we talking about?" Tessa interrupted.
"Oh, an old friend of Tai's is coming to visit next week. She's going to park it on our couch for the nights. Incidentally Tai, exactly how involved are you and this girl?" Kieko looked at Tai's confused face. "Oh come on! Quit playing innocent with me. We need to know so we don't end up with an uncomfortable situation because we misunderstand you two. What's going on? Heck, you haven't even told us this girl's name!"
"Yahhe hasn't told me either." The undisguised annoyance in Huy's voice caused a momentary silence.
Tai sighed deeply. "I told you. There is nothing between us. I haven't seen her since I was sixteen. We were friends at school. We have a lot of mutual friends as well. And her name is Deirdre. She's a political science and economics double major. That's all there is to tell."
"To be meeting an old friend like this after so much time, I have a hard time buying that, Tai," Kieko told him sarcastically. Huy snorted into his plate. Julie and Tessa quickly noticed the tension in the air.
Tai shrugged. "Then you'll just have to keep saying that and ask Deirdre yourself when she comes, because I have nothing else to tell."
"What kinds of things does she like? Maybe we could make sure and have food that she'd like," Julie quickly filled the silence up.
"Don't worry about any of that. I'm taking care of everything."
"So you plan on taking her out to dinner a lot?" Kieko asked, provokingly.
"Kieko! No. I don't think she'd enjoy that."
"She sounds like an interesting girl," Kieko said.
"You have no idea," Tai told her.
That night Tai stared up at the ceiling. He knew that Huy was awake on the other side of the room, his breathing wasn't deep enough for sleep. Huy was hurt and disturbed by his silent behavior. He hadn't acted like this since that first year they'd met. But he had no choice. Relena was hiding herself and he did not have the right to reveal her identity to anyone, not even his own brother.
But this wasn't the only time he'd not spoken to his brother. Some nights when he woke in a cold sweat, Huy was beside him, talking quietly. And Tai was glad of the support, but it was awkward as well. To let someone help him like that took a lot of strength on Tai's part. No one had ever helped him in such a way. But even at those times, even when he was most frightened, so much so that he couldn't hide it from Huy or himself, he never told Huy what he dreamed. He never spoke of the dreams of the dead screaming or Relena's golden glow. He never told of the little girl and her dog, nor of the pilots and all they'd suffered. He did not speak of Treize, Wufei, Zechs, or Dorothy. He didn't speak of Trowa, Quatre, or even Duo. Huy knew Duo of course, but he never heard stories about the war. Duo had told a few stories to Huy himself, and Tai had told him one or two, but they were always vague and simplified.
Maybe a little while from now he'd tell Huy about everything and everyone he'd met as a Gundam Pilot, but he just couldn't right now. Number one, he wanted to stay a nonentity, and two, he needed to protect his friends, protect Relena, as he promised all those years ago. Once a promise, always a promise. Tai may have committed many a heinous crime, but he never went back on his word. And he was always sure of his work. Never doubting. Much like Relena.
Tai wondered why Relena chose such an odd nameDeirdre. If had fallen off his tongue with an odd twist. It just felt strange. But it wouldn't be too difficult to remember to call her that. But what was he getting himself into? Was it worth it to see her, after all the trouble it was causing! She was the one who wanted to see him anyway.
"Tai?" Huy whispered loudly.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry I got so angry earlier. It's just aggravating to see you so upset all the time, like when you have those dreams. And you never talk about it. I guess I just keep thinking that maybe if you speak about it you'll get over it faster and be happy sooner."
"But I am happy." And Tai didn't want to admit that he'd told their father about his years as a pilot, but wouldn't tell his brother.
"Maybe," Huy said slowly. "At least more so than you used to be. I justI just keep sensing some other sadness inside of you. Iyou're my brother. I don't want you to be hurting at allthat's all. And I think this girl is hurting you."
Tai struggled a little. What was he supposed to say? But he did know what he should say; he just couldn't say it. Why was it so difficult to tell someone that you care, or that you're happy, or that they made you happy? Why could he not tell his family to their faces that he loved them, even though he knew with every fiber inside of him that he did love them? Why was it so difficult? He'd learned to be happy and to love, but now he needed to express it.
But it had already been several minutes and Tai still hadn't answered his brother. "Tai, you go to sleep on me?"
"No. I was just"
Tai heard Huy shift and turn over on his back. He wanted to apologize, but he just couldn't make his mouth form the words. "Taijust let me know if you do ever need to talk. Please, please promise me that."
Tai turned over to look at his brother's large eyes, reflecting the moonlight that slipped into their room. "I promise."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N [authoress slips behind a trash can, lifts up the edge and lets it fall over her, then she arches her back and slowly waddles off the stage–someone yells "There she is!!" and suddenly she becomes very grateful that she chose something metal to hide under, despite the loud clanging] Hehe-eh[she laugh trails off] Sorry about thatI've been really, really, really, REALLY excited about Harry Potter 5 [I'm a fanatic–I know waaaaaaay too much about those books than is healthy, and I don't even want to know how many times I've read them] and I've been kind of side-tracked.like yelling at my manager at work because he was being a doofus. Well, okay, so I wasn't yelling, but I was pretty ticked. But then again, I don't get very mad. For example, when I glare at my sister, she laughs. [makes very pathetic face and sweatdrops] AND I'M OLDER!! I should be scaring her!!!!
Anyway, I'm very sorry about not updating, and I'm going to try and start pumping more of this fic out. But I'm afraid that it shows–my editing jobs haven't been the best. It is FALL break that Relena will be visiting Heero. And I'm going to try really hard to explain the character's thoughts well. It's so hard to balance them all and some are REALLY hard to write! Let me tell you. I personally think Relena is the most difficult character–I think that's why she seems a little weird in my fic. Also, I'm altering a few things. I'm trying to go back and to the editing necessary and I know this is a big no-no but this is what I get for not finishing the entire story first and then posting it. I was re-reading some GW manga and I forgot about this, but they say in Blind Target that info on the pilots was banned from the Internet. SO earlier when Julie does the report on the Gundam pilots, it's changing. And in Blood Bonds when Ryuzou and Ai find out about Heero, all it really means to them is that he was a soldier and that the colonies hated the GW boys for a while. Sorry, it might take a little while to find all references to this stuff and fix it. Anyway, thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooo much for reading and reviewing!!!! I was so happy when I got on and found I had so many!! Now I will have the strength to go to work for 10 hours today and not yell at my manager as he acts like the blithering idiot that I think he is!! ^-~ Anyway, Toodles and thanks!!! Tygerlilee =^,^=