Chapter Nine
Unrest
"She's really a nice girl, Tai. I liked her a lot," Kieko told Tai one day as they were walking together to a lab. They usually ran into each other outside the gym building and walked together to the physics lab. Kieko was a clinical laboratory science major so they had a lot of classes together, organic and biochemistry, physics, microbiology, and so on. That was how they'd met in the first place.
To this day she did not understand why she'd been drawn to him. She had seen the quiet, serious boy sitting alone in a sea of unfamiliar faces two years ago and sat by him. He had been nice enough, but never gave any clue that he wanted her friendship. But she'd stayed by his side, just following him, talking as he listened. That led to study partners and later a very advantageous friendship. He'd acted as a big brother to her, helping her shed a very persistent ex-boyfriend and proved a good shoulder to cry on.
She still remembered that day, when Tai Iwasato saved her life. Perhaps not entirely in the physical, bodily sense, for most likely she would have survived regardless, but he had most definitely save her in the emotional sense. He'd put her on the path leading her to self-confidence and independence. It had been a very rainy night and he had been angry, again. He always hit hard when he was like that. And he hadn't done well on an exam so he'd been doing some drinking, and he was a violent drinker. It was usual for her to be struck by the males in her life. True, her father had never hit her, but he had stood by as her mother shrieked and threw things. Kieko had dodged many a wayward vase or plate or shoe. Actually he was her stepfather. Her real father had died when she was six. She barely remembered him, but what she did recall told her he'd been a strong, kind, good man, and was a wonderful at keeping her mother's temper in check. His death had greatly affected her entire family. Her elder brother left home when he was fifteen, never to return, not even a call. That was twelve years ago. And her mother had remarried this puny, wimp of a man.
When she began to date, every boyfriend she'd ever had had hit her. It was normal, it's what they did. Her step-father was a wimpy and completely unreliable for anything except to act as a human rug on which her mother regularly wiped her feet on, so some how her twisted mind turned these violent men into strong, secure people on whom she could depend. When they struck her, she felt she deserved the treatment. It was a twisted half-existence. And it happened again and again, but this time she was frightened that he might inflict permanent damage, so she ran.
The rain poured down heavily and she slipped and fell on the hard concrete bruising her backside and rolling over to skin a knee. But then she just sank down and cried bitterly, she didn't have the strength to stand. Kieko was one who always put on a happy, confident face, but she was dying inside. She had felt so weak, so tired. At that time, the only time ever in her short life, she'd considered finding an exceptionally large puddle to drown herself in. A plan had half-formed itself in her mind, but then it happened. She'd never forget it, anything about it. The dim street light, in front of the fountain at the edge of campus, the tiny gravel and broken glass digging into her hands, white fingers clutching at the black top. She'd looked up at the sound of a voice, quiet and gentle. A soft hand on her shoulder, a coat dropped around her shoulders. And she found herself looking into those infinitely deep eyes. The unusual friend she followed around. He had seen her and come to her. And she flew to his arms and wept.
Shortly after that, he had had an accident that hospitalized him. Broken ribs, badly damaged hand. His knee had to be completely rebuilt. He told everyone that he'd been in car accident—hit while crossing the street. But as she told Tai of it, he nodded simply and something told her he knew more than he was telling. Besides, that kind of thing would have been in the newspaper, and it hadn't even been mentioned. It gave her a cold chill to think of it—so eerie.
But now, she mostly banished those memories away. Yet she always remembered that when she'd needed him most, he had been there, albeit her own nervousness and suspicions about the circumstances of his injuries. She never dreamed that it would be Tai who would save her, save her from her own weaknesses and mistakes. Her family certainly didn't care much. Well, maybe that wasn't exactly fair. They did love her, but they were weak. Tai showed her how she should be treated, and that she did not have to settle for anything less. That it wasn't her fault and that she was worth while and deserved to be cherished and loved. He wouldn't be the one for her, but he did show her there was another way. She in turn kept him company and provided an outlet from his dark thoughts, a cheerful spirit to light his way, even though he never spoke of it. She'd seen a very kind boy that first day. His eyes were so dark and deep, full of secrets. Only now she was beginning to realize how deep things went. He was so silent about his feelings and past, yet very talkative and opinionated on everything else. She'd longed to get him to open up, to heal the death she read in his eyes. It frightened her. She'd grown used to it over the years, realized that if someone were to help him, it would not be her. But then one day she'd knocked on his door to return a borrowed textbook and Huy had answered. The rest was history. Of course, Huy didn't know any of this, and she preferred to keep it that way.
But now she was talking to him, trying to find out exactly what was up with Deirdre. And he was being evasive as usual, drat him.
"I like her too," he replied simply.
"Soare you going to keep in touch? Call her or anything?" she prompted, probing cautiously. She kicked a wayward rock from the path and nodded at a passing friend.
"Kieko, we've known each other long enough. Don't play games. What are you hinting at?"
Kieko snorted. It was so like him to cut to the chase. She sighed heavily and shifted her backpack. "I was wondering if you and she have anything going." As if he'd really answer her.
"No," said firmly. "We are friends. That's all." Kieko thought she sensed a hint of warning in his voice, as if she was on dangerous ground. She looked up at his eyes. They were dark as usual. However they had that shadow she sometimes saw in them, the frightening sadness and emptiness. She'd never seen eyes like that before she'd met him. But she remembered the hope and happiness in them when Deirdre visited. It was the first time she'd ever seen such expressions in his eyes, the first time such things had overpowered the terrible pain he felt. Her anger was rising. He was being stupid. He had the chance of a lifetime, and he was going to let it, or rather her, walk away, literally.
"COME ON! You don't treat any girl like you do her! You must like her, and vice versa. Why not take the plunge! Be daring for once in your life." For some reason Tai had seemed to think that statement incredibly funny and burst out laughing, one of the few times she'd seen him like that, but it didn't exactly count because it was more of a sardonic, ironic laugh than a happy, mirthful laugh. Then she remembered what he'd told her. He used to be a Gundam pilot. Be daring she'd told him.
"Okay, so maybe that was a retarded statement"
"Kieko, why are you so determined to match me off?" Tai asked suddenly. He glanced down as a poky bush snagged his shirt and he brushed it off. Everything was brown and dead around them. It was nearing November now, and so dark and depressing. Fall was a depressing time of year, the time when everything died. Kieko couldn't understand why they just didn't make it cheerful and happy year around.
She bit her lip. "I guess I feel like I should. I mean, I met you first, but fell for your brother, your twin. I think that's unfair and I want to see you happy."
To her surprise Tai laughed again, but it was a more cheerful laugh, not laced with derision. "Guilty? Kieko, no offence, but I wasn't interested in you either. I don't see where you have any responsibility. And I'm happy on my own."
"That's just what I'm afraid of," she said miserably. "I can just see you as some old hermit, workaholic with your millions in an empty house. You'd be lonely. And sad. Iyou're my friend. I don't want that to happen to you, I want you to have the kind of friendship and companionship I've found with Huy. It'sthe most amazing feeling in the world. I can't figure out how I ever lived without it. And you like her, a lot."
Tai shook his head. "That's very sweet of you Kieko," he told her. He was being genuine in his expressions of thanks, but she could see such a melancholy deep in his eyes. "That's sweet of you. But I'm afraid you've got it all wrong. We don't have feelings for each other. And I won't enjoy such a life as you and Huy will."
"But you can and you will!" she burst out. A few passers by glanced at her strangely, but she didn't care.
"No, Kieko. I don't deserve such a life. I've done things, horrible things. I don't deserve such a life so I doubt it will ever be granted me." He seemed so pathetic talking like this.
"That's just stupid Tai. Can't you see it? You can have that kind of love, and life. It's standing and facing you, looking straight at you, right in the face. And yet you ignore it and say that you are fated to be lonely and sad. You sound like you enjoy being depressed, a tragic little hero. You sound like a little spoiled boy! You need to grow up. Deirdre loves you! I don't know how you could miss such a thing, but she does. And you must care for her. I've seen how you look out for her and listen to her. I saw you."
"Kieko"
But Kieko ignored his protest and went on at breakneck speed. "Tai, it's not fate that's preventing you from finding happiness. It's just your own mind!"
"If only it were that simple" He was struggling for words.
"What do you mean?"
"Kiekothere are situations, complications which make it very difficult foranything to happen. And though she has the capability to love and forgive, despite the knowledge she has of my past, she deserves better. Besides, you may know that I love her, but I don't know that." He laughed again, softly. "The only thing I'm worrying about now is trying to find a way to both keep Deirdre safe and remain friends with my brother. I haven't even considered my feelings for her, so I doubt that I love her—love should be all consuming. I want to protect her, but it's not love. It's very different. I can't explain it to you now because I would betray Deirdre, but a little while from now, I will tell you everything, you and Huy both. For now, please be content with what I can tell you."
At first Kieko looked as if she didn't know what to say. But then her mouth opened. "I still say you are punishing yourself unnecessarily. You are being silly. I don't understand it at all. And you' are in love with her. That look you have on your face when you look at her--that's love. Maybe you haven't thought about it yet, maybe Huy and school and everything else distract you. But when a few things settle down, you'll see. You'll find that you can't help but think of her. You'll see that you do love her, that it is an all consuming feeling." Oh, she wanted to slap him up side the head so bad she was clutching her hands till they were purple.
Tai stopped walking and turned to look at her. "Kieko, thank you for your faith and friendship. Iif you knew what I've done, I don't think that you'd be able to"
"Stop it!" Kieko cut him off. "Don't be silly. It was war. Crap happens!"
Tai chuckled. "That's why I'm so happy Huy will have you. You make so much sense."
"Then why won't you listen to me?" she pleaded.
"You'll find out some time, but just not yet."
Keiko growled in frustration. "You make no sense."
But Tai didn't react. He just smiled his secret, sad smile that made Kieko's heart want to break. Surely no one deserved such a pathetic life.
"I think you read me incorrectly anyway. I have no intention of living alone and sad, not caring for anyone," Tai almost whispered as they entered the physics building.
"What are you talking about?" Kieko was so annoyed with him right now; she wasn't sure she wanted to talk to him anymore. Strangling him on the other hand. If only he'd quit being so secretive. He reminded her of a druid of ancient times-sometimes he looked old enough to be one.
"Why do you think I'm becoming a physician?" he asked her, looking straight back at her.
She stopped still in the hall and he went a few steps more before he realized that she had been left behind. "What are you doing back there? Come one," he called, waving a hand at her, motioning for her to follow.
Her jaw dropped slightly and she looked at him in shock. Why was he becoming a doctor? She'd been so blind. She'd never even seen it. Her mind was quickly putting the pieces together as she stared at his open eyes, and out-stretched hand. It took all of a second to click but she hardly even understood her own thoughts.
He was atoning for his crimes. He'd killed, assassinated, murdered. Now he was going to heal people. He wasn't just moping around forever, he was dedicating himself to the repairing of what he done. He would be a workaholic, but it wouldn't be to drown out his pain, he was too strong to fall to such traps. He was living to repair things; there would be no moping around for him.
"Tai?"
"Yes?" he asked, still looking back at her.
"Youwho taught you that this is what you should do? Who taught you what path you should follow?"
Tai smiled his tragic smile. "A long time ago my mentor told me that the only way to live a life without regret would be live by my emotions. So that's what I've done. And he's been right, except that I've made a few mistakes and was tricked a few times. Those things are what I regret. I also hurt those on the sidelines. I would do what I've done over again, but now some one else can do. I'm no longer needed. So I've chosen this path. This is what I feel is right."
"And you don't feel Deirdre is right?" she asked sadly.
"That's an entirely different case. She can't possibly love me and I certainly don't feel like that about her. But if my feelings ever change, you can be sure I'll act on them, for better or worse."
Kieko wasn't sure if he'd chosen those words on purpose or not. They were very ironic.
"Tai." It was all she could do to keep from hugging him. Maybe she was bipolar, all this wanting to murder him, then hug him business. It gave her a little bit of a headache.
"Kieko, come on. We need to get to class." She nodded and breathed in. There was so much more to him than she had ever guessed. How could anyone be this strong?
Deirdre sat at the table playing with her bowl of cold cereal, pushing the increasingly more soggy corn flakes around in little ripples of circles. She'd found it difficult to concentrate on schoolwork since she'd been back. And it wasn't just because she was thinking of Tai. True, Marcus had left, but Celes seemed odd now for some reason. And speaking to Ianthe still felt a little awkward. The strangest was Kiki. Kiki was NICE to her now. Maybe it was because Deirdre talked to her about Tai when she hadn't spoken to anyone else. It made Kiki feel special, needed. That always helped.
But things were settling a bit, but they'd never be the same again. She smiled as Maryanne and Amada chased after each other around the apartment. At least two of them remained unaltered. Kiki snapped at the girls telling them to be quiet as she studied—okay, so maybe Kiki was still normal. Strange how comforting it was to have such a routine, expected behaviors, a little ritual day after day. It wasn't mundane as one would expect, but safe, and comfortable. Like Tai
She shook herself and drank down the rest of her soggy cereal and milk. She wouldn't let herself think such things. It was stupid. He would never know how she felt for him. They would remain friends. Period.
Back in her bedroom, her pack was open and books spilled out everywhere. She bundled them all together and zipped her pack, getting ready to go on campus, where she would force herself to study all night. She couldn't afford to flunk out the second to the last semester before she graduated.
As she walked toward the door, Kiki yelled after her and threw her own bag over her shoulders. "Wait for me. I'll walk with you!" she called and sprinted over. Deirdre waited for her frazzled roommate and the two girls left together.
They walked silently till they reached the street. Then Kiki spewed with words. That's how she was. She was so full of feelings and emotions that they just spilled out. That was why she seemed so harsh. She just couldn't keep her bitterness and annoyance at her entire existence inside of herself, nor could she keep her comments to herself about topics or people she cared about. Deirdre now qualified as one of those people she cared about.
"Are you okay?" she asked sharply.
"Hmm, I'm fine," Deirdre replied demurely.
Kiki tightened the straps on her bag and looked hard at her friend. "You're too quiet. It's weird."
Deirdre looked sadly down at the ground. "I've been thinking a lot lately."
"What about? You've been so weird since you got back from fall break. What happened?" she asked.
"Nothing."
"Hmmthat's the problem then?" Kiki mused.
Deirdre sighed. "You won't leave me alone until I tell you about everything will you?" But Kiki didn't really need to answer. Her hard expression answered for her. "I realized my first day back thatthat I really care for Tai as more than a friend. But it's difficult because I realize the impossibility that he might care back. I'm too afraid to find out that I'm right, to risk losing such a good friend."
Kiki looked surprised, then sympathetic. She patted Deirdre's shoulder. "I think I see your problem. I mean, I understand it. That's difficult. So he was still a cool guy? I thought you were worried that you wouldn't know how to act around him—you thought he might have changed and all."
"I was worried, but then I saw him. He has changed, but how he's just more open. He has always acted out what I've always seen in his eyes, but now it's more obvious. Does that make sense?"
Kiki nodded. "Well, I don't think I can help you at all though. Fat lot of help I am," she said glaring at the concrete.
"Oh Kiki," Deirdre said laughing as she awkwardly hugged her friend. "You have helped, by noticing and talking to me. It always helps to lessen a burden when one can share it with a close friend."
Kiki shoved Deirdre off, embarrassed, but she smiled shortly after. "I try"
"And you do very well," Deirdre encouraged. "Now have a wonderful day!"
And they separated for their respective classes.
"Zechs," Lady Une acknowledged, looking at the tall blond man standing before her desk, his hands clasped behind his back, his long hair tied neatly back.
"You wanted to see me?" he queried, his face devoid of any curiosity or nervousness.
"Do you have those files on the groups in the southern quadrant yet?"
Zechs nodded sharply. "My source came through. I will have the reports to you shortly."
"Was it good new, or bad?"
"Good."
Lady Une sighed with relief. "Well, that's one less danger for us to worry about." Zechs just nodded. "That one had me concerned."
"We did take care of it."
"But I can foresee a time when we may not able to prevent such groups growing. It seems as if these incidents are becoming more dangerous, larger, more organized, and more frequent. Soon we will not be able to hide them from the public. And I hate to see the chaos that may be unleashed," Lady Une confided, darkly. "I'm afraid that things are starting all over again."
"That may be, but we are organized and prepared this time. And Relena is still a surprisingly strong uniting force. And despite all these recent disturbances, none were strong enough to cause much damage. "
"Maybe not yet. But they could grow. I see history repeating itself, and slowly war is building again. We will not have to worry for several years yet, but still. Perhaps we can fight fate this time. But I fear for Relena. I'm afraid of another Heero Yuy, another great leader assassinated." She looked very distracted for a moment, eyes clouding over, but then snapped back to reality. "I think that perhaps it would be wise to make sure she is aware of thesedisturbances."
"I agree, but I thought there was no point of telling her quite yet when she cannot act on anything. It would merely distract her, and for no clear purpose. However, as soon as she has graduated and prepares to come back, I will inform her." Zechs still stood stiffly in front of his superior.
Lady Une nodded. She respected Zechs thoughts and ideas. He was a cautious, deliberate man, and a first rate soldier. He made no move without carefully considering it first. He was steady. But Lady Une was not sure she always agreed with his methods. At times he was all together too unorthodox for her tastes. His way of stopping the war had worked, but she had thought perhaps there could have been another way besides pitting himself against Treize and attempting to destroy Earth. And that brought her to another point.
"What about this entire mess with Heero Yuy? Has it been resolved?" she asked sharply.
"Nearly so."
"Does Relena know?"
"No. I thought to spare her of that to for a bit more," he unflinchingly told her.
"Hmm. I think that perhaps it might be advantageous to attempt recruiting him to the Preventors. His skills are considerable and could be put to good use," she said thoughtfully.
"I don't think he'd agree to that," was the slow reply. His voice showed doubt, but his face revealed nothing, as usual.
"Don't you? He fought for peace before. He'll feel the need to do so once again. He is a warrior, much like you. You'll never be at peace, never rest. There may be a calm for a time, but then you grow restless and rather than stay out of the fight, you itch to lend your strength. That is your way, and his. You two are rather a lot a like."
"Hn" Zechs grunted deeply. "Perhaps to some degree."
"Oh, I think so in many degrees. You seemed to understand each other well enough during the war—the only two to completely master the Zero and Epyon systems. You read each other's moves well enough to see the necessity for that final battle. And you yourself played dead for a year. I see many commonalties." Lady Une smiled slowly, letting her words sink into his head, so see if he'd react in any way.
But he didn't. She honestly had expected no less from such as him.
"You may be right" he told her slowly.
"I know I'm right. I'm always right. I personally think you are the least justified in your anger towards him. You did the same thing."
"But not as long a time."
"You only showed yourself because you were needed in battle—the call of bloodshed to the warrior."
"I did it to protect Relena, to allow her to work and help create peace. Had I been there, her progress would have been very slow," Zechs reasoned calmly.
Lady Une arched an eyebrow at him. "To protect Relena? Now there's a thought."
Zechs smirked. He'd caught her message and was digesting it. She could read that much on his face. Leaning back in her chair, she smiled at him. "You may go now. That's all."
Zechs nodded, turned heel and left.
Lady Une turned to look out the large window behind her, a city of gleaming lights below her. It was dark already. She'd been putting in too many hours. Marimeia deserved a more motherly caretaker, but Une did love her little charge. And she would continue to protect her. But now she could see fate spinning her wheels again.
Heero Yuy was alive. That was comforting. He'd been a pain in her side during the wars, but now that they were fighting on the same side, he could be a great help. True, she'd manipulated Zechs Marquis into releasing a little anger so perhaps they could work together. With the signs she was reading, they'd need all the help they could get. All the Gundam pilots would be needed. And she'd start recruiting promising young pilots to have them trained and ready in case they were needed. But getting the funding necessary for such things would be a trick without having to answer too many questions.
"Mr. Treize.what would you do?" Her fingers tapped lightly against to cool glass. She was reading the signs, Zechs had read the signs. But it seemed that no one else had. How could she take on such a daunting task? How could she possibly prevent such horrendous events from reoccurring--the blood, the pain, and the tears--all of it. All over again, and again, and again. There had to be a way to stop this from happening. "What would you do?" she whispered to the ghost in her mind. He had been so good at this. That was why he was such a powerful leader. True, he was an excellent pilot, but his true strength was his ability as a strategist. He used it in the political realm as well as on the battlefield. That was why he was so powerful. He could read people's movements, judge their character, and determine what paths they'd take. He was a master manipulator, convincing Zechs to take the position he had to end the war was proof of that. "If only you were here, Mr. Treize. You'd know what to do."
Ai stood over the cake with a frosting bag, carefully drawing the roses on. Her hand shook slightly and the letter swayed. She scrunched up her face in concentration.
"Hey mom!!" Yachi yelled shrilly. "Mom!! What are ya doing?!!?!?"
Ai jumped in the air, cutting off her delicate frosting line. "Yachi! Don't do that! You startled me!" she lectured sharply.
Yachi grinned, unconcerned. She came and sat by her mother, sweating over the three-layer chocolate frosted cake. As of late, Ai had had too much spare time so she'd taken up a cake business. This one was for a wedding anniversary and had way too much writing on it for Ai's taste. But she did as she was told.
Yachi rested her head on her hands and watch her mother. She loved to watch. The cakes always turned into a work of art, the delicate sugar lines drawn together, just like a picture. They made no sense at first, merely a sketch of soft lines, but when finished, everything fit together beautifully. She sighed with contentment.
"You want to make me some roses?" Ai asked her daughter suddenly.
Yachi jumped up happily. Her mother had taught her to make them a few weeks ago and she'd been practicing constantly. She wanted to be as good as her mother at this some day. "Yah!"
Ai smiled. "You can use that bag over there," she said, motioning towards a pink bag of frosting by the roll of wax paper. "I need about fifteen."
"Okay!" Yachi happily set to work, her tongue between her teeth, a perfect imitation of her mother bending over her work in concentration. Ai smiled lovingly. Her daughter was growing into a beautiful young lady. She was nearing Ai's height, not that she herself was very tall, but still. Her dark hair was often braided down her back now, her large dark eyes framed by "permanent bangs" as Gina dubbed them.
"Mom," Yachi asked as she refilled her bag.
"Hmm." She was concentrating on the basket weaving on her own project.
"What day are Huy and Tai flying home again?"
"Well, actually, they won't be coming together this year. Tai'll be coming a little later."
"WHAT!" Yachi stared up at her mother, eyes startled. "Why not?" Disappointment was dripping from her voice.
"Well, school ends on the eighteenth. Huy will come home then, but Tai said he wanted to visit some friends that first weekend, so he'll be here on the twenty-second."
"But I want him home sooner," Yachi whined.
"I'm afraid you'll have to take that up with him."
Yachi grumbled under her breath. "This is the first Christmas in two years we'll ALL be together! Toshi's been going to his in-lawsI want them all here!"
Ai went over to hug her daughter. "But I'm afraid that's what happens when people grow up. They get married, have families of their own. We can't see them as often, but we still love them just as much. And no matter the length of time we are apart, we can always be together again some day, and we will always be family."
"I don't like it. Now Huy's getting married. Doesn't that mean Tai has to too? Then I'll be the only one!!"
Ai laughed. "Why would you think such a thing? He'd have to act awfully quickly wouldn't he? Tai hasn't even been dating anyone."
"Yah, but he and Huy are twins. They have to get married on the same day!" Yachi reasoned. Ai couldn't suppress her giggles. Yachi was twelve now, but she still seemed such a tiny girl at times. Her innocent ideas were refreshing and amusing.
"No dear. They can do different things. Just because they are twins doesn't mean they are two of the same person! Huy's going to be a history professor and go to graduate school for a Ph.D. and Tai's going to medical school. That show's how different they are right there!"
Yachi's lower lip popped out, trembling. "I don't want them to grow up. I don't want anyone to leave." Then she sprung at her mother and buried her face in Ai's shoulder, clinging tightly. "Why can't things go back to how they used to be with all of us home again! Why do things have to change?"
"Oh, my little sweet dove. Growing up isn't all bad"
"Yes it is! It takes your family away!"
"That's not true. You just have to learn how to make your heart bigger, so that more people can fit in it."
Yachi sniffled. "I don't like it. It hurts to stretch."
Ai laughed again at her youngest child. "It does dear, so it does. But would you take Gina and Toshi's spouses and children from them?"
"No."
"Well then, you just have to learn to grow and love them all," Ai reasoned.
"I still don't like it. And why is Tai visiting friends now? He never has before!"
"Well, maybe he just felt like it this time."
"He better come home early on the twenty-second."
Ai just patted her youngest child's head. Privately she somewhat agreed with Yachi. She longed to have all her babies back, safe, where she could watch over them. On the other hand, she rejoiced in their successes and her grandchildren. Her children had grown wise, and strong. They were making good choices and that was more than could be said for many families. But she did worry most about Tai. He was still such a solemn child, or rather man. He could hardly be called a child any more. If only he'd find someone too, then maybe she could wipe the despondent, apathetic gaze from his eyes. Most of the time he was happy and friendly now, but still, it was there, deep down. And what was the worst to Ai was that it probably would never go away, and if it did, it would not be her to dissipate it.
Julie snapped up from the table in the library where she'd dozed off. Finals were killers and she'd been studying day and night. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and glared down at her notes that she'd been poring over. But she was tired of studying. She just wanted to go home and see everyone. And she was having problems with that dumb paper of hers. She just couldn't make it sound right.
Then she remembered Tai helping her before. She'd aced that paper, the only one she'd ever aced. But it was finals week. He'd never find time to help her.
Dejected and sullen, Julie packed up her things. She was getting nothing accomplished so she obviously needed a break. No point in forcing what would not stick in her brain.
The library was silent as she left it, and outside the sky was a sea of white. As she started home, she looked up at the sky. She could almost see the fragile water-crystals clumping together, soft flakes falling on her nose. It was so beautiful. Like sugar covered trees and buildings. It made her feel warm and safe.
She shuffled down the sidewalk, wrapping her coat tightly against the cold. Campus was unusually empty. Everyone was inside, keeping warm. Probably sitting by stoves, drinking hot chocolate wrapped in fluffy blankets and watching the snowfall. If only she could. But the apartment was so depressing now. Kieko was always running around, trying to plan this or that for the wedding. It wouldn't be a large wedding, but all weddings are ordeals. That was life. But it still reminded Julie of things she'd rather not think of. Tai would never notice her. Even up until Deirdre's visit, she'd had a slim, desperate hope that he'd change his mind. But as soon as she saw the way he looked at the pretty little redhead, she knew she didn't have a chance.
That was another weird thing. He didn't seem to be trying to be with her at all. He obviously liked her, but he wasn't working on a relationship. They emailed each other, and talked every once in a while on the phone, but that was it. Julie shook her head in disbelief. Perhaps it was better that weird boy didn't like her. He might have been more trouble than he was worth.
And so she shuffled along the sidewalk to her little home. As she unlocked the door, she could hear Kieko and Huy muttering over something. She saw them briefly leaning over some papers on the table as she kicked snow off of her shoes and went to her room. It was the only private place around, and she would have stayed there, except her stomach had decided to remind her of its presence.
Grumbling, she shuffled back to the kitchen to rummage the fridge.
"AIIIII!!! I can't take it any more!" Huy whaled. Julie didn't even blink. She was used to Huy's random outbursts of frustration. "There's soo-oo much to do! Scheduling, ordering flowers, food, reserving a place for a reception, pictures, invitation listit ne-ver e-ends!!" Huy whined in a yodeling voice.
"Oh, quit complaining. I'm the one who has to choose all the colors and actual items—if I leave it to you everything will be plain white!" Kieko said sharply.
"What's wrong with simple white?"
"It's boring! That's what! Besides, the sooner we get this stuff over with, the sooner we can work on planning the honeymoon—ugh. That's going to be a pain toomore reservations, but that's only when we figure out where we want to go." There was a loud slapping noise of skin on wood as Kieko flopped onto the table, her face flat down on it.
"But at least that part's going to be fun" Huy muttered.
Kieko looked up at Julie standing by the stove and rolled her eyes. "Typical male."
"Well, it's true isn't it? Which do you look forward to? Slapping a smile on your faces as your great-aunt three times removed pinches your cheeks and reminds you of the days when they'd sewn up sheets to protect young ladies from rouge men? Or a relaxing time at a place of your choosing with just one other person, the one you're spending the rest of your life with," Huy asked resolutely. "Uhare you okay?"
Her lower lip was trembling furiously and her eyes were huge and watery. Suddenly she burst into tears and flung her arms around Huy's neck. "Ororoyou think you can give me some air" Kieko backed off a little. "Barking mad, you are!"
"I can't help it," she sobbed pathetically. "I'm just so happy that you're going to be my husband!!" she whaled.
Huy tried to look annoyed, but all he managed was slightly embarrassed pleasure. "Quit cryingyou're just being silly."
Kieko nodded violently and wiped her tears away. Then she smiled and flung her arms around his neck again. "Just as soon as I give you a big kiss!"
"No objections here" Huy managed to get out before Kieko silenced him.
Julie rolled her eyes and stormed out of the room. The two lovebirds had hardly even noticed her. Kieko was all but taken away and that left Julie alone. She hated it. She'd been spending more and more time with that hormone-ridden girl, Tessa. Things just weren't the same any more. And with Kieko and Huy everywhere, it was driving her mad.
As she stomped down the snow-covered steps, she hit an icy spot. Julie saw stars and went flying down the stairs, back end first. As she hit the end of the first flight, she managed to grab the corner handrail and held on for dear life.
Panting, she rested her head against the cold metal, her pants getting soaked from her body heat melting the snow around her. She breathed in hard and tried to calm her nerves. This week had been horrible. Nothing was going right. It wasn't fair.
"Hey, you okay down there?" as voice from above queried.
Julie jumped suddenly and looked up to see a concerned face, surrounded by a black beanie with green eyes.
"UhI think so" Julie leaned forward cautiously, stretching her legs to make sure they still worked properly.
"Let me help you up," said the voice and strong hands gripped her from behind and lifted her to her wobbly feet. Within three seconds she was falling again and the arms caught her again. "Man, you must have taken a serious fall! You need me to walk you to where you're going? I wouldn't mind at all."
Julie reached out and grabbed the handrail beside her and stood on her own to look at the person who'd helped her. She found herself gaping in a very unflattering way at a torso, covered in navy blue cloth. She blinked and looked up at the tall man's face.
"What are you doing out here without a coat anyway? You'll freeze! Come one, where do you belong?"
Why was it that he made her feel like a lost puppy?
"I, uh, I just live up there," she told him, pointing. "But I justjust realized I forgot something and needed to get it," she lied.
"Well, at least get a coat. It's so cold, and you'll be even colder when the snow melts on you," he said with a soft laugh and brushed the flakes that had accumulated on the top of her head off.
She nodded mutely. Somewhere between the slipping and the cold air and the shock of this boy, her fiery temper had been thoroughly stomped out. Shakily she climbed back up the stairs to her apartment.
"You live here?" he asked behind her.
She nodded. Then said quietly, "Thank you."
"Sure. Don't mention it. Do you want me to help you get what you forgot?"
What she forgot? Oh, yeah! She'd already forgotten her own excuse. "NoI think I can manage."
"Okay!" then he turned to leave, but stopped. "I'm Jordan, by the way."
Julie smiled. She couldn't help it. He was infectious. "I'm Julie."
He reached out his hand and Julie looked down at it for a minute before she realized she was supposed to shake it. "Nice to meet you Julie. I guess I'll see you around!"
Then he smiled again and walked off. What was that supposed to mean? He'd see her again?
And all of a sudden she could feel the cold and the wet and fled inside to find a dry towel and to enjoy that cup of hot chocolate with her bedroom door firmly shut.
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A/N Sorry!! I'm so sorry this took forever and a day!!!!
And I only mentioned school last time because that's all I've been thinking of. I'm trying to make it so that while I'm at school there will be an update at least once a month. I think I can do it. Then hopefully there will be an influx of chapters at Christmas, then once a month again until summer, then an influx. And so on until I get this thing done. But thank you for your patience! Sorry again!!! And thank you for reading--I hope you enjoy it. Toodles for now, Tygerlilee =^,^=