Chapter Eleven
Wreckage
Duo turned over and stretched his hands out behind his head and toes the opposite direction and far as he could. His spine cracked its entire length. Hilde groaned beside him. "You're awake" she mumbled.
"Hehewhat gave that away?"
"Oh, something about that bone-rattling routine of yours." Then she sat up and rubbed her eyes. The baby kicked. "And good morning to you too," she told her swollen stomach.
Duo grinned. "Well, no point sitting around here! I want breakfast! Let's go!" he cheered.
Hilde sighed and pulled herself out of bed. "Okay, but I'm getting dressed first. I'm not prancing around Quatre's home in my sleep-ware."
"But I like your sleep-ware very much," Duo told her earnestly.
"Maybe. But you love me any way you can get me." She patted his cheek. "Okay, where is that stupid shirtI had it yesterday."
Her husband sighed and lay back down, popping every bone he could without the use of his hands. He guessed he was up to around a hundred of them.
"Well, I'm ready!" Hilde announced. Duo grinned again and hopped out of bed, still in his boxers and baggy T-shirt. "You aren't going to get dressed, are you?" Hilde half asked. Duo shook his head vigorously with a large grin. She sighed. After several years of marriage, she'd learned to pick her battles, and this was one she would never win and certainly wasn't worth the effort. "Okay. Let's go feed the bottomless pit," she told her belly in a baby-talk voice.
In the kitchen Trowa, Zechs, and Noin were already seated. "Mornin' all!" Duo called.
Trowa nodded, Zechs didn't say anything, and Noin returned the greeting.
Duo looked around and decided that something was a little odd with the picture. Three people gathered around a table eating in a house that wasn't theirs. "Where's Quatre? Shouldn't the perfect host be here?"
"He's answering the door. I think Wufei and Sally are here." Zechs said.
"Hmm." Duo folded his arms across his chest thoughtfully.
"What?" Noin asked.
"He's just debating on whether or not he wants to see Wufei. He's been calling and pestering Duo for a couple months now," Hilde explained, taking a seat and helping herself to an orange that was in the bowl in the center of the table.
"You won't have to worry about that too much longer. Heero should be here this evening," Zechs told them.
"As long as he doesn't wimp out of this," Wufei said harshly as he entered, followed by their smiling host and Sally.
"Wufei, just promise you won't attack him until AFTER he's given his explanation," Sally pleaded, kneading her forehead.
Zechs cleared his throat. "Wufei, Sally, take a seat."
Wufei snorted. "You telling me what to do?"
"I am your superior."
"Hah! I'm off duty!"
"Wufei, just sit down," Sally said as she pushed him down. "Are you going to finally tell us what you've been so worried about?"
Zechs started to speak, but Noin interrupted. "I thought you were going to wait for everyone to get here!"
"Everyone is herewell, except Heero."
"Don't you want him to hear?"
"If my suspicions are correct, he won't want to hear what I've got to say." Noin wasn't sure what he meant by that, but she decided to let it slide. Zechs could just repeat himself when Heero came if necessary. "Anyway, I just wanted toissue a little warning," Zechs began.
Trowa sat up straighter and Hilde looked worried. "Warning?" Her voice was nervous.
"Yes. I, we, the Preventors have been watching the signs. We're starting to fear another...serious political situation which could lead to violence," He explained. "We're all working hard against it and it's only in the most infant of stages, but I'm just saying, keep your eyes and ears open. That's really all I have to say, other than I might need your help later on if things do get serious. You can expect a call from me then."
"How will we know when you'll call us?" Trowa asked.
"Easy. You'll start hearing about various situations on the news," Zechs said simply.
"THAT'S what you were so serious about?" Duo groaned.
"THAT'S all? I think that's a pretty big that's all', Duo. After everything we've all done to fight this, we'll probably have another war on our hands!" Noin looked exasperated with his attitude.
Duo folded his arms and rolled his eyes at everyone. "Yah, but it's not as if we didn't already know that! There's always a threat to peace, as long as humans breathe and have freewill, there's a danger and we've always got to be fighting it. It's not like one day we win a war and never have to fight again! It doesn't happen like that. And if you think it will, you're just deluding yourself."
"He's right. The only real question here is when will we be required to actually get our hands dirty," Trowa agreed.
Zechs smiled. "I'd almost forgotten who I was dealing with. Then I suggest we cease our worry for now and relax until Yuy gets his butt here and explains his death to us."
"I think you guys are all taking this too lightly" Noin said, almost to herself.
"But Miss Noin, what else can we do? There is no definitive group to fight, no battles, not yet. All we can do is prepare ourselves," Quatre reminded her, very reasonably. "Just try to enjoy yourself here! This is vacation!"
"Exactly! So now its time for breakfast!" came Duo's very emphatic remark from behind a plate.
Huy still felt furious when he got off the shuttle, but decided it best to disguise his anger when in his family's presence. Yachi gave him her usual neck-breaking greeting. He returned with his usual "Gerroofff!!" which made her very happy.
His father, his mother, and Yachi had come to pick him up. Toshi was with his wife and two children at the house already. Gina would be arriving tomorrow. They piled into the car, all the while Yachi chatted happily about everything from Christmas presents to babies to algebra.
"So, how's Tai? Was he tired after those exams? Or excited to see his friends?" Ai interrupted Yachi's stream of words and Huy wished that she hadn't.
"He was same as always," told her stiffly.
She smiled. "That's good. How about Kieko? How is she doing?"
To Huy's surprise, he didn't blow up but was able to answer reasonably that she was tired of school and anxious for the break. His words felt a little constricted, his chest heavy. The drive seemed to last forever and Huy breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the house.
When they opened the door, two little people pounced upon Huy. "Uwlcle! Uwlcle!" a tiny boy called as he pulled at Huy's hair, the little round face grinning with his tiny baby teeth.
"It's not uwlcle'," the other little person informed the other. "It's ucle'!"
"Uwlcle," the other insisted.
"Ucle!" Umiko was shaking her tiny fists in anger, dark pig-tales flying as she moved her head.
"Uwlcle." The rather large infant plopped down heavily on the floor, his diaper easily padding his fall. It appeared he'd been having either apricots or carrots for lunch judging from the color of his blue T-shirt.
"Ucle!!"
Huy just grinned and picked them under his arms. "Well, I have a surprise for you two!"
They both quit talking and stared at him with large eyes. "What?" Umiko asked eagerly. She now held her hands behind her back, looking intently at her ucle,' playing with the hem of her purple and pink paisley dress.
"A great, bigbear hug!!"
The two children shrieked with glee and tore down the hall, one on all fours and the other stumbling on two, Huy hot on their heels. They landed in the living room, Huy held one child under each arm and began his torture.
"Huy Iwasato! What are you doing to my children?" as sharp voice yelled down the hall.
Huy grinned at the kids. Enter momma-bear. "We're just spending a little quality time together!"
"Right," Hanako, Toshi's wife, said sarcastically from the doorway, hands on hips. Toshi came to stand behind her and wrapped his arms around her neck and shoulders. Huy held the baby upside down as he blew obscene noises on his stomach, the little girl clung onto his neck from behind calling "Piggy-back! Piggy-back!"
"Oh come on. He won't hurt them. Look, they're laughing!" Toshi insisted. "He's just playing with them like I used to play with him!"
"That's what I'm afraid of" Toshi grinned and rested his head on her shoulder for a second then left. But Hanako leaned against the doorframe, her tall, thin frame presenting a fairly imposing picture--Toshi was the tall one in the family and Hanako was just a little shorter than Toshi.
But she didn't seem too afraid for her children's safety because shortly after that she disappeared.
After a few more minutes little Kitutukitti got bored and crawled away to find something else to amuse himself, his oversized diaper crinkling with each movement, mumbling his baby talk down the hall. But Umiko kept herself firmly attached to Huy.
He scooted her up onto his back and bounced up and down the hall. She giggled madly. "Umiko, why don't you come with me," Ai suddenly appeared. "Uncle Huy's very tired and needs to rest. He's been traveling all day!"
"Oh I'm fine, Mom." He grinned at her. She looked doubtful.
"Okay. But stick close. Dinner will be in about ten minutes."
He nodded and went bouncing up and down the stairs. At least Umiko still loved him He couldn't help but let his thoughts drift. He walked down the hall, but then he stopped suddenly and picked up a picture book that was sitting on an end table in the living room. It fell open to a group picture, the family just after Tai had joined them. Everyone was gathered around the kitchen table, and Tai was sitting, looking very thin and white. Huy had almost forgotten how ill he'd been then–so thin, wasting away like that.
"Tha's Daddy," Umiko informed him, pointing one sticky finger at Toshi's smiling face. It was odd to think that only four years ago Toshi had been alone and between school and working. Now he was married with two children, the very precocious ten-month-old and very active two and a half-year-old. Huy privately suspected that Hanako had gotten pregnant on their honeymoon, and they'd told everyone they wanted to wait a little while on having a family.
Huy put the book down but Umiko clambered over to sit beside him and demanded "More pic-ichures!" Her little fingers had trouble gripping the pages so Huy took over and turned them for her to reveal many memories frozen in film.
"DINNER!" Toshi belted out from the kitchen.
Huy grinned at the living memory. Ai always asked Toshi to call people to dinner, he always yelled, and she would scold him for yelling. It was tradition.
"We better go, time for dinner," he told a disappointed Umiko.
So they hopped off the couch and joined the rest of the family. Huy grinned his usual grin all through the messy dinner. It was all so familiar, the spilled drink, flying napkins, pounding little silverware, the horrendous dishes after. As the little ones were sent to bed, Huy felt himself yawning and Ai was practically pushing him into bed.
He admitted that sleeping would feel good. So he went to his room and shut the door, shut out the world. He realized he was alone for the first time all day and his plastered grin fell as he looked at the two empty beds. Tai
It had been a long time since he had cried, really cried. But now, as he stood their looking at his brother's vacant bed, they rolled down his face, and sob rose up in his chest. Huy ran to a bed and grabbed a pillow, stuffing it hard over his mouth to smother the noise. He couldn't stop it. He felt so lost.
He screwed his eyes shut tight and envisioned that morning. Kieko's furious gaze, Tai's impassive one. What have I done? Kieko's words flew back to haunt him. How could I have been so STUPID!!! I should trust Tai! She was trying to help me see that! And I had to get like that! What do I DO?
Then he lowered the pillow and looked at the wall hopelessly. What if Kieko really won't come back to me? What if she sticks to this and won't come back?
Huy flung himself onto the bottom buck, Tai's bed, too tired to climb up, and buried himself in the sheets, tears flowing freely. He didn't dare turn off the light–then he really would be all alone.
Tai stood on the corner of the street with his bag waiting for a cab to stop for him. He heard a tut-tuting behind him. "What's wrong Dorothy?"
"You'll never get anyone's attention just STANDING there!" She walked to the corner and waved very obviously at the oncoming cars, her skirt riding up a she waved her arm. She was wearing a rather short skirt-suit, sleek and black, as usual. A yellow cab screeched to a stop beside her. Her hair fanned out behind her as she turned to flash a smile at Tai. "Well, what are you waiting for? Open the door for me!"
Tai jumped a little in surprise, but obeyed. She gracefully folded herself into the car and Tai followed. Dorothy leaned forward to give the address and the driver nodded, then she relaxed against the seat and smiled up at Tai again.
"We're almost there! So tell me, Mr. Iwasato, are you going to reveal your resurrection potion to us all? I'm sure it could come in veryhandy."
He wasn't sure if he should dignify that with an answer, so he shrugged and stared out the window.
But his silence didn't seem to bother her because she kept chatting about this and that–mostly recent press conferences and parties, things that did not interest him in the least. Well, the press conferences could have been interesting had she not been repeating things he'd already known. Relena followed them as well.
The cab pulled in front of a huge, white building. It's looked a bit like a department store from the outside, but that was how things on the colonies were built. There was so little space, things had to be crammed together. This place actually was very unusual–it had a bit of a yard and local parks were situated around it giving the impression of isolation and with the recent snow-fall and chilly temperature, the area was virtually deserted. But it still wasn't anything compared to what people built on Earth.
Dorothy walked up to the door and rung the bell, beckoning Tai to hurry. He'd been spending too much time taking in his surroundings for her taste.
"Heero! You're finally here!" Quatre smiled out the door but then it was very apparent that he had not expected Dorothy. "And Miss Dorothyhow nice!"
"Oh, don't be so formal Quatre. We're all friends!" She smiled prettily and kissed his cheek. "Why don't you show us where we are to be staying." She linked one arm around his and half guided him up the stairs. It seemed she was very familiar with the house already.
Tai watched Quatre's face carefully. He looked as if he was torn between a foolish grin and disappointment. They certainly had an odd relationship. Tai wasn't sure he understood them at all.
At the end of the Eve wars, Quatre and Trowa had left Dorothy with some memorable parting words, and it had affected her for a while. Or at least kept her alive. But then she reverted back to her sly self. No one knew what she really wanted, what she was shooting for. All they knew was that she involved herself in everyone's lives and had dug up more dirt about more people than every other politician combined. Tabloids would love to have her on their staff. But she would not agree to work. She was having too much fun spending her inheritance and bouncing around to every main event. Tai suspected that she was looking out for battles to go watch.
There was no real evidence of a relationship between Dorothy and Quatre that extended beyond the platonic, but it was obvious that they were fairly close. And the few times Dorothy had been out of control, only Quatre could stop her. As far as Tai could tell, they were just very good friends.
He sighed from behind them and braced himself for a long, drawn out argument.
Wufei leaned down on his hands and breathed in slowly, trying to decide his next move. He was getting restless. After working over-time with the Preventors for so long, sitting, and doing nothing was a struggle. Many people would get tired doing the work he did, but he could not stand being home–there was nothing for him at home. So he might as well be at work. He lived for it, and lived for new battles and aligning things with his sense of justice, fixing the world in a manner of speaking.
And so Heero had fallen into the ranks of the weak. Wufei couldn't wait to hear his explanation. It popped a huge hole in his ideals having him fall–he wanted answers. But in the meantime, he would sit here, playing chess with Trowa.
"Ya' know, we're really going to have to find something to do. We're only going to be here a couple days, but we can't just sit around. It's vacation time! We should be clubbing or something!" Duo whined.
Hilde lowered the magazine she was reading and glared at him. "Do you honestly think that I would go clubbing in this state? And you are not leaving me alone either!"
"It was just one suggestion" he said meekly. Wufei smirked at the little spat and turned back to the game. It was moving painfully slowly.
"Duo, quite frankly, I'm enjoying doing absolutely nothing. It's the first time I've been able to in a while," Sally joined in, looking up from her laptop. Zechs was dozing on the couch with Noin, who nodded in agreement, leaning against him.
Duo shrugged again. "Well, I was just expecting a little more lively of a group. But if hangin' is good with everyone else."
"The only thing I need is for you to shut your mouth," Wufei mumbled. "You've been reading all day, Sally. What the heck is that anyway? No work." He leaned over to see what she was reading, but she raised it above her head so that he couldn't see it.
"None of your." But footsteps echoing through the hall stopped her mid-sentence.
"Hey, Quatre–what'da'ya say we livin' things up a bit eh?" Duo asked without turning around.
"I think things are going to be plenty livened up now. Heero's here," he explained cheerfully.
Sally snapped up into the upright position from her leaning chair and Zechs opened one eye to look over at his host. "Where is he?"
Dorothy swayed into the room to answer. "He'll be coming soon. He was just putting his bag down."
"You're not here with him are you?" Wufei asked bluntly. Not that womanshe was nothing but trouble.
Dorothy laughed. "Heavens no! We met on the shuttle. I heard about this little gathering and thought it might be interesting." Wufei snorted obviously.
But then they all stopped talking as Heero walked in. There was a short silence as they all seized him up which was broken quickly by Duo. "Take a seat! I think it's story-telling time."
Heero nodded and took and empty chair from the table Trowa and Wufei were sitting at in the corner. They looked at him expectantly but Heero just looked at them blankly for a moment. To Wufei, he looked just as he'd expected. Taller, over-all just looked a little older. But the small, dark shadows under his eyes and the fine line between his eyes betrayed worry, and stress that he'd never shown before.
Then suddenly words flowed out of Heero. He explained about finding his family, wanting to protect them, wanting to be normal. He apologized for worrying them and lying to them but maintained the he would make the same decision again if given the chance. Then he looked down at his hands but did not look ashamed, only boldly facing the consequences of his deliberate decision. He was not attempting to lessen the magnitude of what he'd done, nor was he making excuses. He looked more as if he were facing a jury, and was awaiting the verdict.
"That was wonderful, Mr. Iwasato!" Dorothy clapped merrily.
Anger swelled up in Wufei. If Heero wanted such a thing in life, he should have chosen a different path. But he hadn't. He'd chosen to protect the colonies and he could not just stop that now because he had all these mushy feelings. Yet an odd lump that would not dissolve filled his stomach.
"You're mad woman," Wufei snapped. "And you!" he turned on Heero. "You are just as much of a weakling as I thought! You let silly feelings get in the way of justice! You could have been helping maintain peace. The Preventors could have been using you. You have beliefs but no conviction! Such ideals are pointless unless you act upon them and never stop."
"I find that the best way for me to help maintain peace is by upholding Relena's ideals in my everyday behavior, not in battle as I once did. I am no longer useful as a soldier; I will never kill again."
"And how pray-tell are you upholding her ideals?" Zechs asked quietly from the couch before Wufei could manage an angry retort.
Heero turned at looked directly as Zechs. "During the Barton incident we all realized that peace was not brought about by fighting but by convincing the people to live peacefully. It might take fighting to convince them, but it's not the only way. By living my own life peacefully, I can become one more person who refuses to fight. And hopefully I can influence a few around me. That is my contribution and as a single person among billions, it is the most I can do."
Noin, Sally, and Quatre all smiled broadly at him. Trowa nodded and Duo grinned. Dorothy looked fit to sing. Wufei could feel eyes upon him and looked over at Zechs. "We'll see if justice will allow you to live such a way, taking the weak and easy way" Wufei said ominously. But Zechs smirked with a disgustingly satisfied, smug look. And Tai nodded back.
Wufei flung himself back into his seat, glaring at the chessboard. The others were eagerly asking Heero entirely too many questions, while he answered calmly. But he felt his frustration and anger burn. Finally he couldn't stand the friendly chatter any more and excused himself curtly, striding up to his room.
It was starting to grow dark outside, and cast cold shadows around the room of the large, four-poster and dresser. He had to do something, anything, to distract himself. He was getting jittery. He plugged his laptop into the wall and sat stiffly at a large, dark cherry wood desk in the corner. As he sped through several files, he noticed a file name he didn't recognize, or couldn't remember.
Wufei was many things. Stubborn, careless, inconsiderate some called him–okay, many called him. But one thing he was was organized and deliberate. And he could not remember this file. Clicking it open he found gasped softly. Meiran's death certificate.
Closing his eyes, Wufei shut the computer's top and held his face steady, devoid of all emotion. He never proved himself worthy of herworthy to be called her husband.
She had been so strong, and had done what she wished. The flowers had survived. He almost laughed at her silly feminine nature. What would she want him to dowhat would make her proud of him?
He thought of Heero's decision, his love of his family etched into his now softened features. He allowed lines and thoughts to imprint themselves on him. But feeling did not necessarily make one weak, only if it prevented one from what they needed to do. And apparently Heero had changed his mind. But was it because of his family that he had given up? Or had he ever even started? Was he, Wufei, merely willing himself to believe his path to be correct for everyone. Heero chose a different path–so did that make Heero weak, or Wufei? Or were both ways correct?
Wufei snapped open the computer again, staring at the evidence of his wife's death, willing her name, typed into the form's blank, to answer him. She was the one who'd proved herself worthy. She alone had the right to determine this. But nothing came, and Wufei sat in the dark room laughing at himself attempting to catch clairvoyant vibes.
Kieko opened the apartment door and flung the car keys on the counter. It was dark and cold in the little room. Julie had already gone home, and in high spirits. Exams were over; who wouldn't be cheerful? It was Christmas, the time for family and love and giving.
But now she felt pure acid eating away at her. He was everywhere. She could not escape him. Just like every other bastard who'd rammed into her life, he flung himself in and the disappeared having marked his territory. A pair of shoes he'd left, a textbook, the Christmas cookies they'd made together.
Slamming her bedroom door behind her, Kieko turned to her room, but he followed her in. A picture on the wall, his T-shirt she'd borrowed on the floor, the ring on her hand. She growled at it and yanked it off, flinging it to the ground, then she grabbed her coat and sprinted from the apartment. He wouldn't own her. No one would, ever.
The streets were cold and dark, and lonely. Snow swirled around her and all she could see was his face. Why? Everything had been so perfect.what happened?
She sat down on a corner by the fountain. Then ironic laughter spilled from her lips. This was where he'd saved her life, where Tai had come and picked her up, and taken care of her. If only he was here now.he was on the shuttle now, and she had no idea how to contact him.
And insane desire to talk to him welled within her. It consumed her. He'd answered all her questions once, saved her life once, if only he could again. If only he could pick up the pieces that were her meager existence and save her once more.
Deirdreshe might know. Kieko ran to the student center. It was closed, dark and empty just like the rest of campus. Everyone had gone home. A lone pay phone stood outside the brick building.
Kiki answered the phone and it was for Deirdre. As usual.
"Oh, hello Kieko! What's going on?" Kiki stalked off to the bedroom to study some more. Christmas was a horrible time of year. It always reminded her what she did not have and everything she hated about her life.
Deirdre's voiced faded a little as she shut the door, but it was still clear enough to understand.
"Tai's number? I don't know. I thought he was just going home.he went to visit some friends? He didn't leave you a numberwell, he probably left a number with his parents in case they needed to contact him. But I'd try emailing him–did he bring his laptop? He has a vid-phone on it. That would be your best betlet me get it for you!" There was a scratching of paper as Deirdre rummaged around the room.
Kiki turned on her radio, plugged in the earphones, turned over to face the wall, and stuck her nose in a book. It was a while later when Deirdre came into the room. Kiki hardly heard her come in she was so absorbed in her self-pity and her studies.
"Kiki, why do you think Tai didn't tell me he was visiting some friends? I probably know them."
Reluctantly, she pulled the earphones down enough to answer without shouting. "He probably didn't think of it. Probably didn't realize it would matter. That's how guys are." She did not feel like dealing with Deirdre's problems right now. The music pounded into her brain and she felt herself falling into an apathetic haze. All that existed now was her book. It was her world, her parameters.
She heard the bedroom door close softly as Deirdre gave up on conversation with her.
Kiki leaned on one elbow to look out the window. It was snowing again and the sky was dark and cold. She pressed her face against the glass and breathed a cloud onto it, her lips marking a hole in the center, a dot for her nose. A little girl walked by, and on each hand clung an adult, a man and a woman. They were laughing and the elder two swung the little girl up into the air, her black pig-tails streaming out behind her, white flakes framing her little peach head, tinged with a cheerful blush.
She flung herself away from the window and threw on the earphones again, turning the volume as high as it would go.
They were all arguing politics again. Listening to the Gundam pilots debate was always entertaining to her. They came from such different backgrounds, yet they had the commonality of tragedy. And none of them wanted pity. In truth, they became violent if someone offered pity. But Dorothy could understand that. It was demeaning and merely brought painful memories to the forefront of one's mind. If someone else told you how bad your life was, it was very easy to fall into a disgusting display of self-pity. That was the worst. No, it was better to avoid all of that unnecessary baggage.
"Well, I'd prefer not to talk about this anymore," Wufei was saying.
"Why not?" That was Sally. "It's better to discus this now while we're all here." Heero was looking slightly bored as he watched everyone. It was amazing how much more expressive he seemed.
"Because we have a walking Inquirer with us. Anything we say will be all over the place within five minutes. I'm not making any serious plans with her around!"
Dorothy snapped to attention. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means, that while some of us work to establish and maintain peace, others just prance around with nothing better to do than cause trouble and spread discord for her own amusement."
"Not too unlike someone who plays Satan to manipulate others," she snapped acidly. Then she stood up abruptly and stalked out. What did he know anyway. He did not understand her. Did he think she did not realize how pointless her life was? Did he think she enjoyed that? Enjoyed that the only contribution she made to the world was spying? That man made her ill.
Her first instinct was to run to her bedroom, but that resembled a sulky child a bit too much for her taste. The billiard room would do much better.
She flipped on the light and seated herself on a leather couch, but quickly stood up again to pace. She was too angry. The floor-to-ceiling windows were covered with deep green and black striped curtains sealing off all natural light. If that's what it could be called.
A soft footstep startled her and she whirled around. Zechs. She'd expected Quatre, or perhaps Trowa. But not him.
"What do you want?"
Zechs looked sternly down at her, but then walked up to her and stared straight through her. But she would not quail under his gaze. She would not let him see her thoughts either.
"You need a purpose," he said simply.
"Beg your pardon?" she laughed out. "I don't think you are in the position to tell me anything, especially not like that!" Drat that manmust he understand her so well? It wasn't fair.
"Your reputation upsets you. You need something useful to do. What is worth your time? Or do you even know, Dorothy?" He was cool as ice, as usual. With a smirk, Dorothy wondered if Noin could even get some heat out of him. She was such a warm, kind person. He was a cool pickle. Interesting combination.
"You don't know anything about me. You have no right to tell me this." She felt like a teenager being instructed by a guidance councilor. She was not fond of this feeling.
"I understand you better than anyone, even Quatre."
Dorothy felt this was presumptuous of him. "Than what am I? If you understand me so well." The nerve of some men.
But he smirked. "All right. You are a little girl. Your mother died before your memory began. Your father felt battle was more important than even his little daughter, and he lost his life to it. You grew up knowing your Grandfather, who was not much different. War had consumed all that you ever had, all that you are. It's understandable, your morbid fascination with it. You studied it, worked hard. Now you are a skilled pilot and fighter. Undeniably a bit shaky on strategy, but with a little work, could become brilliant. You are unsurpassed with gaining intelligence. These are not normal pursuits or achievements for a teenager. You are only alive during battle and war, and only feel the anger and hate and a little intrigue. If it was so important to your family, it must be to you.
"When you fight, when you watch from the ground, you feel unnatural exhilaration, for you see your life before you. Like an orphan longing to know of his parentage, you see them in the fight. You see yourself imprinted on every dying soldier's face, the blood and pain and hate and anger.You see the anger you feel for your loss there. But you are powerless because the thing, which robbed you, is but an undefined act, not a specific person. So you wander, fighting, trying to defy death itself, to avenge your childhood and innocence, to take revenge upon war itself.
"But there is no war currently. You were lost at the end of the Eve wars. Where would you go? What would you do? You attempted to become normal, Noin helped you. But that was not enough. After some time, you ran away and became what you are. But it's a lonely, pitiful, pointless existence. You despise yourself and all that you represent. You are another lost soldier who lives for that battle, the final battle which defines you, much like myself."
Dorothy stifled her gasp of surprise, but looked at him with large eyes. How could he know so much? It wasn't fair. No one should know, could know, that much about her. "It's not trueyou can't know" She stepped back involuntarily. Turning and running to the window, she felt a burning sensation in her eyes. But then she calmed herself, and breathed slowly again.
"Okay. You've got me. I've always lived in battle. I find peace tiresome and a little boring. Or at least I used to. You already know of my father and grandfatherwars, pain, deathit's all I've ever known, taking everything I ever valued away from me. II realized that as a teenager I must have seemed a littleunbalanced, but could you really blame me? I was the spawn of Mars himselfdespised by Venus and laughed at by Pluto. I won't say that life has been particularly unfair to me for it's unfair to everyone." She turned to face him once more. "You say you can help me? I've wanted revenge for the longest time. I wanted to show that I could live, that I could survive it, yet I've longed for death. Tell me, how do you solve that paradox? How can you possibly help me?"
Zechs looked down on her with his ice-blue eyes. "Destroy war."
She laughed sardonically. "Destroy war, he says. True, I would have my revenge then, but I do not pretend to be God. How do you expect to do that? To destroy war, as you say so simply?"
"I don't know if it can ever be finished, but it could be something to dedicate yourself to, to work on, give you a path to follow. Become a Preventor. We could use your skills. We could train you even more. Be with people like yourself, and expand your horizons by learning to understand those who are dissimilar. Join us and help us. I admit I used you when I lead the white Fang, but that was only because I could see your usefulness. You were a little girl, easily manipulated for my purposes. But you surprised me with strength and skills I did not expect. What do you think?"
She looked at him, feeling a little dazed. But all that she managed was a quiet, "I'll think about it"
He smiled and nodded. And was out the door.
"Dorothy may be a horrible gossip, but she is a person, Wufei," Sally snapped angrily as Zechs got up and followed the blond girl out. Quatre stood with his mouth slightly open, looking pained. Trowa looked unmoved, as usual.
Wufei snorted. "Okay, give it to me. Let's hear how insensitive and uncouth I am. I'm waiting."
Sally turned up her nose. "I'm not dignifying that with an answer."
But Heero shrugged and got up, unfolding himself from the book he'd been flipping through. He'd had enough of this talk. He needed a nap.
No one objected as he left and his bedroom was in a nice secluded corner of the house. But when he opened the door, his laptop was blinking at him.
He put it down on his pillow, and lay down on his stomach, getting comfortable before opening the screen.
It was his vid-phone, and there were fifteen messages for him. All fromKieko. He buried his face in his hands. It was undoubtedly about Huy. He dialed and a little screen popped open. Kieko was laying face down on her keyboard.
"Kieko. You there?" She snapped up and blinked at him. The bags under her eyes descended nearly down to her nose and red squares of the keypad dotted her face.
She rubbed her eyes blearily. "Huy" she said indistinctly.
"No. Tai. What's wrong Kieko?"
She sat up and bit her lip. It trembled a little, and Tai knew what was coming. She howled.
"What do I do? Why'd Huy have to turn out like that! Everything was going s-s-so well!" She was stuttering now, hiccuping from the lack of air. "I'm so lo-lo-lost! I can't t-talk to him and I-I-I don't want to talk to him-m! He's g-g-g-gone, but I miss him too! I just d-d-don't understand!!!!! He was so p-perfect, everything was perfect and" She buried her face in her hands and wailed into them. "Why'd it have to turn out like this"
"Kieko, he hasn't tried to call you?"
The black blob of her hair shook back and forth.
"He will"
"I don't know if I want him too" she whispered.
"Kieko, you love him. That's why it's got you so upset. But do you honestly think that just because you love someone, everything will be a smooth ride? That you won't have any problems?"
"He called me names" then she gagged at herself. "I sound like a two-year old!"
"No, that is wrong. You should never call your spouse names in anger. And I'll be talking to him about that, believe you me."
"You think I should call him and try to make him come back?" she asked meekly.
"No. I think this is good for him. Give him a good scare, see what he's losing, and let him call you. I'll be home shortly and I'll give him a good kick in the pants for you, literally. Emotional abuse is completely intolerable. He lost his temper because of extenuating circumstances, but he has to know that it is inexcusable. Kieko, Huy loves you. Whatever else he may have said, he loves you and I promise you that he's just as miserable as you. Huy's never been violent, but he does resort to immature name-calling. It's a reflex. I'll talk to him and don't come over for Christmas. If you still want to marry Huy, you can visit during spring break. Just take some time away and I'll work on him. You'll see, everything will be okay. Unless you really don't want him back"
At that Kieko howled again. "I don't know what I want! I'm just so scared now!!"
"It's going to be okay. I promise. Is Julie there with you?"
"No. She went home."
"And I'm guessing that you don't want to go home."
She shook her head violently.
"You can't stay there alone. You need a friend right now." Kieko sniffled. "Is there anyone you can be with?"
She shook her head again.
"I'll call Deirdre. I bet she would love to spend Christmas with you!"
"Do you think so?" she asked meekly.
"Sure. I'll give her a call."
"Taithank you"
"Sure. Everything will work out for the best in the end. You'll see. I'm going to call Deirdre now. Why don't you see if you can change your flight reservations."
She nodded and blipped out.
Tai rolled over on his bed and sighed. This was so screwed up.
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A/N none currently. Just tired and wornI hope this is coming out okay for you. Toodles for now, Tygerlilee =^,^=