Chapter Sixteen

Avalanche

"Going my way?" he asked her.

"Maybe. I'm going to Physical therapy," she pointed at the bus stop.

"Can I give you a ride?"

"Oh no! I couldn't ask you to do that!"

"Don't be silly!" Marcus opened the door and pushed it wide so that she could climb in. "I don't have anything to do. I can even drive you home! I've got a book to read and my laptop to do work on."

Deirdre sighed and climbed in. She was grateful, but she also felt a little like she was taking advantage of him. "You really don't have to.."

But he cut her off with a lift of his hand. "Where is this therapist?"

"By the hospital."

"That little doctor's office beside it?" Deirdre nodded. Marcus turned on the radio, but kept it low. "How're you feeling?"

"Pretty good. I can get around a lot better now. And the therapist says I'm healing fast."

"That's good." There was silence and then Marcus spoke again. "You talk to Tai very often?"

Deirdre felt little sirens going off in her head. "Fairly often," she told him, cautiously.

"He knows who you really are, doesn't he."

"Yes," she said slowly.

"But his brother doesn't, right?"

"As far as I know, Huy has no idea who I am." Marcus began "hmming" to himself. "Why do you ask?" she prompted.

"Tai spoke to me a little while he was here, and that was the impression I got from him. I just wanted to confirm it. Is Tai always like that?"

"You mean how he was when he visited?" Marcus nodded. "I'm not sure what you mean, but my impression of him when he visited was very helpful, considerate, and kind. If that's what you mean, then yes. Maybe not so openly kind, but he really is, even if he hides it under a gruff exterior."

"I was thinking more along the lines of solemn and showy-off and a flatterer."

Derirdre felt her temper rise. "That's not fair, nor is it true!"

"Calm down, princess. Nothing to get all riled up about!"

"PRINCESS!" Marcus chuckled. "I don't see anything funny about this. First you insult my friend then you start coddling me. I am an adult and fully capable of caring for myself, and I am not princess'!"

"Then why are you so upset?"

Deirdre was tempted to "hmph" him and turn away, but he was doing her a favor and she was stuck in the car with him. She would love to just jump out the door, but her legs were already broken enough without her added stupidity to hinder their healing. Luckily they were just pulling into the parking lot. She pulled out her own crutches and limped to the office. Marcus tried to get in front of her to open the door for her, but she beat him to it and blocked him with her crutches. He sat down in the waiting room and, luckily, they admitted her immediately.

Her session was rigorous as usual and she was exhausted when she left. But it felt good and let her calm down. She was very defensive about Tai and Marcus had no right to accuse him of such things. Maybe Marcus was just a little jealous.

He stood up and tried to help her to the car again, but she was doing a very good job of discouraging him. She also ached like mad; her legs throbbed.

After they got into the car and Marcus started it up, he turned and glared at her. "Relena, this is ridiculous! You are acting like a child!"

"I'm acting like a child! You are the one jealous of Tai and lashing out at him for it!"

"I am not!" Marcus said forcefully, but he snapped his mouth shut quickly and glared at the stoplight they were stuck at. "Okay, so maybe I am. A little."

"A lot. Why else would you hate him so much? He was only here to help, and what's more, he was hardly ever around the girls, so who was he kissing up to? Tell me that! If you are jealous, that can be a natural normal feeling, but for heaven's sake, keep it to yourself and get over yourself! You are not the only man in my life or my roommates' lives!"

Marcus swallowed hard and the car lurched forward as the light turned green. "Man in your life, huh?"

Deirdre stifled her urge to gag. "Don't start this again."

"Don't you get so cocky yourself princess. I don't want you anymore anyway!" But Deirdre could hear the lie in his voice.

"Okay, fine. But just remember, if you hurt Celes I will come after you personally."

"Is that a threat? Coming from Miss-do-gooder-pacifist?"

"Marcus, what is with you? Why are you being such a toad?"

Marcus humphed again and slammed down on the gas.

Deirdre didn't mean to, but it came out anyway. She screamed bloody murder and pulled herself into a tight ball. Her mind brought her back to the accident–the screeching of tires and breaks–the broken glass–Celes screaming. And she couldn't stop screaming.

Marcus pulled over and shook her to stop the screaming. She sat up with a start and blinked, looking around her. They were still in one piece and safe. "What is with you?" Marcus asked her. "What's wrong?" he shook her again, gently.

"I don't knowI just, I just freaked for a moment and I saw the accident again and" Deirdre panted a little. "I just got scared. That's all. I'm not normally a screamer. I don't know what's the matter with me!"

Marcus looked a little worried but he pulled back onto the road. "I'm sorry. I've just been really frustrated, that's all. I forgot about the accident for a moment." And he didn't say another word to her. He dropped her off in front of her building and she limped up to her door. She was sure he was still in the parking lot and she burned red with each stumble on the steps.

She sighed a great sigh of relief as she went into her empty bedroom–Kiki was still gone. It was nearly six and she pulled herself back into her desk chair and picked up on her papers once more. She'd take a break in a couple hours for dinner, she decided.

Then her computer beeped with an incoming message. She plunked her head down hard on her desk. "No" But she sat up and clicked several buttons to open the message. And Milliardo looked at her.

She gasped. "What are doing?" she whispered. Then she dived for a drawer and pulled out her headphones, plugging them in. At least this way no one would hear him speaking. "What in heaven's name possessed you to call my like this!" she whispered into the microphone.

"An emergency. Nothing less could have made me call you. I know just as well as you the risk in this."

"What's happened?"

"I need you to come back as soon as possible, preferably right after you are done with graduation."

Deirdre gasped. She'd still be exhausted from school, plus she couldn't even walk yet AND she needed time to prepare to come back, do all the reading she didn't have time to during school. "Why? What's going on?" Someone dropped something in the kitchen and she jumped ten feet in the air, or at least it felt like ten feet. She was terrified Kiki would walk in.

"Things are getting sticky in the colonies. Fishy gatherings, small skirmishes--things like that. Only small things thus far, but we think a few of the groups are starting to grow in strength, and with that, they are starting to buy off politicians. We need you before things get out of hand. Nothing has really happened yet, but the sooner you get here, the better."

Deirdre thought a minute. Not four hours ago she had promised to be Kieko's bridesmaid and have a fun girly week with her. And Taishe couldn't bear the thought of him having to fight again, especially to protect her. That would be so like him. No, she would go back as soon as humanly possible. She just hoped her body would be ready for it, because she'd just go anyway.

"The soonest I can be there is late May."

"That late? I thought school was over in a couple weeks."

"It's not finalsI'm going to be in a friend's wedding and I told her I'd be there for that."

"Relena, we are talking about the colonies and the earth at stake here!"

"And this is my friend!" She was getting angry–probably leftovers from yelling at Marcus. "A promise is a promise. Besides, that's only a month. If nothing serious is happening at the moment, then surely you can hold everything off for one more month. That's three months sooner than I planned on. This way you can send me reports and various information that you think I need to know so that I will be fully prepared to come back. I had planned on having four months to prepare once I was out of school, but you've cut it down to less than one." And maybe I'll be able to retire my wheel chair and crutches by then, she thought.

Milliardo sighed. "Okay. I trust your judgement, little sister." He smiled at her that same, annoying, all knowing smile. She had learned to read him a bit more, and realized that she must trust his ultimate goal was peace, but he would use himself to get peace by whatever means possible, even if it was fighting to show how horrible fighting was. She was to be kept pure and innocent and predictable. By keeping her that way, he had something to count on and could plan accordingly. She felt a little used and manipulated, but at the same time, it had worked. So she trusted him too. "By the way, nice hair and eyes. Take care. And do well on your tests."

"Thank you. Goodbye."

Milliardo nodded and blipped out of sight. Deirdre sighed and leaned back in her chair. Good grief! First Kieko, then Marcus, now Milliardo! All I need is Pablo to give me a call! Deirdre muttered to herself.

The phone rang in the other room and Celes called for her. "Deirdre, phone!"

"ARRRRRRRGGGGG!!!"

Kieko felt like the only thing she was ever doing was picking people up from the shuttleport. But that was fun because you were always excited for them to come. Actually, she probably could have gotten Tai or someone in his family to pick Deirdre up, but she decided it would be better if she picked her up, and kept it a secret who the last bridesmaid was. It would be so fun this way.

She saw Deirdre coming towards her. The little red-head looked even smaller than usual, as if she would just slip away. She limped a little as she walked. "Hi! Do you have any checked luggage?"

Deirdre nodded. "Some. I just can't handle dragging too much around with me."

"How are your legs?"

"I'm a little tired, but I'll be okay. I've been able to move on my own for a week now and I'm getting much better."

"That's nice." But Kieko decided she'd better watch Deirdre carefully. "Hey, why don't you just sit here for a moment and I'll get your luggage. What is it in?"

Deidre smiled gratefully. "It's in a green duffle bag."

"Okay, I'll be back in a jiffy!"

Deirdre sighed as Kieko walked away. She gently massaged her ankle. It was killing her. But she was doing much, much better than before. If she exercised a little every day, in a little while, she'd be just fine. She had to be. No one could see her weakness, not once she was before public eyes.

It took about ten minutes for Kieko to come back, but in the meantime, Deirdre looked curiously around. It was the smallest shuttleport she'd ever seen. It was very simply decorated and no one seemed to be in a hurry. Then Kieko was back.

"Come on!" and they headed out for the car. The parking lot was tiny and the car was very easy to find, being in the first row. "I ought to get a handicapped sticker for you! Then I could park anywhere I wanted!"

Deirdre smiled, and they headed off. "So how far out from town is the shuttleport?" she asked as they passed a Walmart and Food-4-less.

"This is town," Kieko laughed at Deirdre's shocked expression. "Yes, Huy and Tai grew up here. Or ratherHuy grew up here. I guess I don't even know where Tai grew up. But it's tiny. Mostly because it's just a research colony, and only the scientists and their families and school teachers for the kids live here. There are still quite a few people living here, considering. But it's so nice."

"I bet." Deirdre couldn't help but gape at the large fields and many flowers and trees. "It looks like earth here, like the countryside."

"Have you ever been to earth?"

"I grew up there"

"Oh. I bet you miss it." Deirdre could detect the curiosity in Kieko's voice. She knew that Tai still hadn't told them much about her.

"I do."

"So did Tai live on earth?"

Deirdre shook her head. "No. He lived there for a little while, but that was only when he was a teenager, during the war. He lived on the colonies all before that, at least that's what I always assumed. He's never actually told me much about his childhood."

"Not even you?" Kieko asked, shocked. "I mean, I would have thought he'd at least tell youbut I guess I was wrong."

Deirdre smiled at her. "So we're going to do girly stuff here, huh? Not exactly a booming town to do a lot in although."

Kieko laughed. "No. But we can goof off at night, rent chick-flicks. We'll be spending most of our time at the Iwasato home. Huy's mother has been wonderful helping me with the wedding, getting dresses to fit and so on."

"Didn't your mother help you at all before you left?"

"Nah. We don't really get along with each other. And our tastes are totally different. We'd just fight the entire time. I prefer to do things by myself than ask Mom for help." Deirdre felt a thump of pity rise and Kieko must have seen it because she continued with, "Don't worry about it! It doesn't bother me, at least not anymore. I grew up really quickly and I've been taking care of myself ever since. Everything's fine. Now let's deposit your bag and rest a bit. Ai, that's Huy's mom, invited us to dinner. I told her I'd be with a friend and she said that was fine, to bring my friend along. So we'll give the boys a little surprise." Kieko winked as they climbed out.

It was an average sized hotel with the typical square building with beige curtains, and probably the only one in town. But inside was beautiful with rich carpets and live plants and flowers everywhere. "Wow"

"Yah, I asked Huy why the hotels were so nice herethere are only about three, but they are all beautiful. He said it was because sometimes they have conferences and such here. And lots of people like to have their weddings here, since it is so beautiful and cheap." Kieko kept up a running commentary as they got into the elevator. "Huy's dad was even able to get us this room free! Isn't that nice?"

"Yah. That's great!"

They finally got into their room and Deirdre felt like her feet were on fire.

"You get that bed," Kieko told her unnecessarily, pointing to the made, neat bed. The other was covered in clothes and random papers. Deirdre sat down and let her legs throb and she watched Kieko running around the room. She'd always pictured Kieko as sensible, calm, and organized, but Deirdre supposed one couldn't expect someone who was getting married in a week to be calm.

"I just can't believe how much is involved in a wedding! The food, the flowers, the pictures.trying to stay the same size as when you were measured for your dress!"

"But you still want to do it right? You aren't scared about marrying Huy, are you?"

Kieko sat down for a second and dusted her hands off on her pants, apparently out of habit because she had been folding clothes. "I don't know." She pushed some hair out of her eyes; it had come out of it's loose ponytail, and her hair was pretty short to start with so it didn't stay very well. "I was really scared at Christmas, and fully prepared to call everything off. Take my advice, long engagements are horrible! Do you realize Huy and I have been engaged about eight months! That's a horrendously long time! If you say yes to a proposal that means you are ready to marry them right then and could just pick up and go do it the next day, not two-thirds of a year later!"

"But that would have just made things even worse at Christmas if you were married at that time."

Kieko nodded. "I know. I just don't understand what got into him! He'd never come close to acting like that before and he hasn't since! Maybe it has something to do with Tai beating the crap out of him."

"Tai hit him?"

"Yah, just a little," Kieko said sarcastically. "When I went to pick them up after Christmas break, Huy was still yellow and green all over. And I mean ALL over. Tai did a real number on him. He told me he was planning to knock some sense into Huy, but I didn't realize he meant literally!"

"Well, that sounds like Tai. He has unusual methods sometimes, but it works. He's not very subtle either. He's horrible at subterfuge."

"I've noticed. He doesn't have a violent temper or anything does he? It's just so weird, and kind of scary. Is it because of the war? I mean I thought I understood him fairly well, but since he told me he was a Gundam pilot, I just have been wrong on every assumption I've made about him."

Deirdre thought for a moment–how to explain Tai so Kieko could understand. "Taiis very kind and protective. On earth during the war, I don't know if you read about this or anything like that, but the Gundam pilots, specifically Tai, accidentally killed a shuttle full of pacifist leaders. After, Tai went to every single person who was intimately related to those leaders he killed, and spoke to them. I'm not sure what he told them, but I'm sure he was apologizing."

"That's a lot of people to apologize to," Kieko said quietly.

"Yes, it was. But I guess my point is, Tai killed and fought hard. But it's not him. He's so kind–I've seen it in his eyes, I saw it even then. But that's taken a toll on him. He's broken and hurt because he had to hurt people he didn't want to. I think that's the key to his personality, somehow. You can't totally understand anyone, but I think that's very valuable to his if you have any hope of understanding."

"I guess I just don't see how that applies to him beating up his brother."

Deirdre leaned back onto the bed. It felt wonderful on her back. "Tai saw an injustice. He saw his brother about to make what he felt was a huge mistake, losing you. He saw that his brother had been a jerk and childish. So he felt, as his brother, that he should protect his brother and make him realize what he had done. But Huy didn't want to talk, I'm assuming because I wasn't there. Tai hasn't told me about any of this so I'm just hypothesizing. But I would guess that because Huy wouldn't talk and Tai wanted to make sure Huy understood what an idiot he was, he went ahead and hit him until Huy couldn't fight anymore and just laid there and was forced to confront what he had done to you and your relationship."

"That's so weird"

"It's Tai. That's not the strangest thing he's done." Suddenly the last moment she saw him before he fought with Milliardo in the wars hit her. She thought about it often, how he asked her to believe in him and shoved her away. But it hit her with peculiar clarity now. She could see his eyes, that kind, sad look in them. And how he almost whispered those words to her; the strange part to her was how much trust he put in her ability to bring peace. For someone who trusted no one, that was highly unusual.

"How long have you liked Tai?" Kieko asked, snapping Deirdre out of her reverie.

She blinked at the ceiling. It was smooth and creamy white. The lamps Kieko had turned on were shading them gold. "Ever since I first saw him."

"He likes you to, you know. He must. I mean, why else would he run to help you in the middle of mid-terms and why else would he spend all the time he does on the phone?"

"Maybe." Deirdre sat up. "When are we supposed to be at the Iwasato's?"

Kieko mock-glared at her. "I have an entire week to pump you for information, you know. And we have dinner there at six thirty. I thought we could get there a little early and help out a bit."

Deirdre looked down at her watch. "How long does it take to get there?"

Kieko shrugged. "Maybe fifteen, twenty minutes at most. It's kind of out and away from town."

"That gives us about an hour and a half."

"Might I suggest you take a nap."

"Why?"

"Because they have a large, loud family. I love them to death, but they tire you out!"

They pulled into the long driveway of an average sized house. It was white paneled with a red-brick chimney and base with a large wrap around porch. There was a swing with two little kids sitting in it, laughing at some personal joke. There was a basketball goal in the driveway and several cars, including minivans, parked in front. Daffodils and petunias lined a walkway that led to the front door, which was reduced to a screen. It looked like a normal home, normal as in, Mom, Dad, siblings and everyone is mentally stable and loves each other. That was getting more and more rare with each passing year.

"Come on. Let's introduce you to the hoard."

Deirdre was getting nervous.

The two little kids on the porch looked up at Kieko and grinned. "Hi, aunty!" the little girl answered. The other was drooling all over himself.

"Hi! I want you to meet my friend Deirdre."

"Hi, Deir-deir" she stuttered a little, but then grinned and said "Deir-deir!"

"Those were Toshi's kids. Toshi is the oldest sibling," Kieko explained as they walked in without knocking.

They entered a small foyer and kicked off their shoes. Kieko called out "Anyone home!"

A man's voice Deirdre didn't recognize called from somewhere to the left, "In here!"

They walked into a living room with two men seemingly attached to a video game. "You look busy." Kieko said sarcastically, coming up behind Huy to give him a nuggy.

He paused the game and turned around, pulled Kieko down onto his lap. "Just waitin' for the life of the party to come!"

"Where is everyone?"

"The usual. Hanako is looking for her kids, Toshi's right here with me not really caring, Mom is running around the kitchen, Gina is sitting in the kitchen pretending to help while her husband actually does help. Dad is on the computer looking up stocks, Yachi is chasing Tai around the house, and Tai is probably hiding in his usual spot with a good book."

"Sounds excititing."

"Always iDeirdre!" Huy had finally notice Deirdre, who had quietly settled herself down on the couch. "I didn't know you'd be here this soon! How are you feeling?"

"Fine, thank you. Kieko asked me to be a bridesmaid and wondered if I'd come a little early, so that's why I'm here."

Huy grinned. "Now we get to introduce you to the crowd. But be warned–as soon as Mom hears you're a friend of Tai's from before, you know, we found him, she'll probably start bawling all over you."

"Oookay" Deirdre said nervously. Huy laughed.

"I'm Toshi!" the man next to Huy told her. He looked a little bigger than Tai and Huy, but he had Huy's mischievous grin. His hair was shorter and not nearly so unruly as the twins'.

"Nice to meet you."

"Toshi, have you seen the kids? I can't find them anywhere" a girl walked in and asked.

Toshi shrugged and the girl looked disgusted for a moment. "They were sitting in the porch swing a couple minutes ago when I walked in, Hanako."

"Oh, Kieko! I didn't know you were here. Did you get the flowers figured out?"

"Yes–it was such a headache. Oh! Hanako, this is Deirdre, Deirdre, Toshi's wife Hanako."

Hanako smiled at her and nodded but didn't seem to really see her. She just dashed off again.

"I don't know why she's always so worried about the kids. They are always together and usually safe," Toshi said, turning back to the TV. He and Huy were sitting directly in front of it. Deirdre was sure they must be giving themselves headaches.

"Toshi! They're only babies still!"

"Umiko is not a baby, she gets very offended if you call her that," Toshi informed her, pointing a finger in a very teacher-ish fashion.

Kieko rolled her eyes and patted Huy's head. "I'm going to take Deirdre to meet everyone and see if we can help your mother."

Huy's eyes stayed on Kieko until they left the room and Deirdre smother a giggle. But as she turned away, she found herself almost buried into someone.

"Oh! Sorry!" But when she stepped away she almost gasped visibly and audibly. It was Tai.

"Ryuzou, this is Deirdre. She's the last bridesmaid. Deirdre, this is Huy's dad." Kieko said, having seen what happened.

"Hi," Deirdre greeted meekly. Ryuzuo nodded gruffly, and walked on. "I think I just decided that Tai's personality is not entirely due to his war experience," Deirdre told Kieko, who giggled.

"Ryuzou just seems scary, but he's a pussy cat. It's pretty funny. All the kids know that. The cutest part is when you catch Ryuzou and Ai kissing. It's pretty funny. They've been married about thirty years and still flirt with each other, but only when they think no one is looking." Kieko's eyes were sparkling and dancing. Then they walked into the kitchen. Kieko quickly pointed to each person, telling Deirdre who was who, then announced very loudly to the crowded room that she was there and who her friend was.

Ai smiled and nodded and said she was glad to meet her. Kieko quickly decided the kitchen was way to crowded and turned to leave with Deirdre. But she was stopped by Tai sprinting though and calling, "Coming though!" Deirdre started to walk though but Kieko pushed her back and Deirdre was glad because a middle school aged girl came flying through.

Everyone in the kitchen seemed to be used to this too because no one had moved back to their original positions.

The girl was giggling madly and waving a curling iron in the air.

"That was Yachi. Huy told me ever since he first brought Tai here for Christmas, even before they knew who he was, she's been very taken with him and never gives him any peace. But actually Tai's very nice about it and they do a lot together. I think it's adorable."

Deirdre tried to picture Tai sitting down with his little sister to a friendly tickle fight–she could partly picture it. But it was a stretch. Then they walked in on one.

They walked down the hall and found Tai pinning Yachi to the ground. She was shrieking with laughter and attempting to no avail to tickle back. Then he saw Deirdre.

He dropped his sister who flew at him yelling like a banshee but he didn't notice and stood up. "Hey! That's not fair! You're taller than me!" she scolded. But then she noticed to two girls in the hallway. "Hello."

"Deirdre? I didn't think you would be here until the day of the wedding."

"I asked her to come early so she could help me out. She's going to be a bridesmaid." Kieko looked entirely too pleased with herself.

Tai mock glared. "And you didn't tell me? Either of you?" Kieko smirked and Deirdre looked uncomfortably at her shoes. "How are you feeling Deirdre? You're walking without your crutches now."

"It hurts a lot but I'm managing."

"DINNER!" Toshi bellowed.

Yachi grabbed Tai's hand and they went flying down the hall. "COOMIIIIIING!" Yachi yelled.

Deirdre had never seen such a dinner. And it wasn't about the food, which was very good–Ai was a wonderful cook and Deirdre liked Japanese food, but it was the company. Toshi and Gina's kids were uncommonly quiet and polite, which actually wasn't too hard for Gina's baby as the baby was only two months old, but for a two year old and four year old. But Gina, Toshi, Yachi, and Huy were horrendous, flinging food and napkins at each other. The in-laws sat quietly eating–they looked like they were used to it. Ai kept reminding everyone how old they were. Tai and Ryuzou just ate and ignored everyone. Kieko was laughing and Deirdre felt like a shell-shocked cat.

Everyone pitched in after dinner for the dishes and it was mass chaos. Deirdre was surprised nothing was broken. Shortly thereafter she and Kieko heard yelling outside and ran to the door, panicked. But Kieko laughed when they saw it was just the boys all playing basketball. Kieko settled down on the porch next to the little kids who were cheering their Dad on. Deirdre sat down on the swing and watched.

She wanted to cry, but she held it back. This was what she'd been hoping for–Tai had a family and he was loved and belonged. She watched him on the court with his brothers, father, and brother-in-law and they all looked so happy, yelling at each other like that. That's when she realized she was the only non-Japanese person here. It was a startling realization, especially in such a multi-cultural world.

Ai sat down beside her and sighed, rubbing her face. "I bet you must be exhausted, having so many people here," Deirdre said, politely.

"Yes. But I love it. I just can't believe three out of five of my children will be married soon. And grandkids are great." She smiled genially at Deirdre. "So how do you know Kieko?"

"Actually I knew Tai first. We've been friends since we were teenagers. But we lost contact and happened to find each other again a while ago. I came and visited him and stayed with Kieko then. And at Christmas Kieko stayed with me, so we've gotten to be pretty good friends."

"You knew Taibefore?"

Deirdre was starting to get the feeling that this was a forbidden topic, only to be spoken of indirectly. "Yes."

"Was hewas he happy then?"

"I don't really know, but he's happy now and that's what matters right?" she said nervously.

Ai burst into tears and threw her arms around a very startled Deirdre. "MY POOR BABY!!! HE WAS SO ALONE AND SAD BEFORE! I'M A HORRIBLE MOTHER! HOW COULD I HAVE LOST HIM!"

Kieko had run over to them and was patting Ai on the back. "It's okay, Ai," she was murmuring over and over.

"Yo Mom!" Huy yelled from the court. "It's okay!" That was when Deirdre noticed the game had stopped and everyone was looking at her and Ai and Kieko. But they didn't look disturbed–it must be a common occurrence. Ryuzou was looking skeptical and yelled, "Ai, nothing's wrong with Tai. You can stop the floodworks–it's okay."

Ai nodded between sobs and then Tai was by his mother. "Mom, what's matter?"

"I'm just so ha-ha-happy that you had friends then!" And then she flung herself at him. He caught her and patted her head, then mouthed, "Sorry" to Deirdre. After a few more minutes she calmed down and they started the game again.

Several hours later the entire family, except the babies, who had been put to bed, sat in front of the TV with popcorn and a movie. But it was a very loud watching of a movie because Toshi and Ryuzou kept making snide remarks about how unrealistic it was.

Deirdre felt a little overwhelmed by it all and quietly got up and slid outside to the porch. It was a clear night and the "stars" were easy to see. She'd picked out three constellations when she heard the door open and close again, very quietly. Then Tai sat down beside her.

"You okay?"

"HmI'm fine. Just a little tired."

"My family is a bitmuch, I know. I'm always exhausted whenever I come home."

"But they are nice, and they love each other so much."

Tai nodded and looked up at the sky too. "And they readily accept new members." Then he looked over at her. "How are your feet, really?"

"They kill me," she admitted. "but if I can sit most of the time I'm okay."

"Do you think you'll be well enough to return to work in the fall?"

Deirdre avoided his eyes carefully. "I don't know. But if I'm not, I don't have much choice, do I?"

He looked back up at the sky. "No, I guess not." They sat there quietly for a bit, but then he asked the one question she wished he wouldn't. "Do you think there's a war coming?"

"War's always a danger." There, that was sufficiently vague and evaded the question, Deirdre thought.

"Duo said that Zechs is worried. I was wondering what you thought."

"Well, I haven't been very involved for a while so I expect Milliardo knows much better than me. If he says one is coming, he's probably right."

He was quiet again so Deirdre kept talking. "But we can stop it. You won't ever have to fight again, Tai. I promise. You swore that you'll never kill again and I'll make sure you don't have to, okay?" But he didn't look at her so she tried to give him more comfort. She leaned on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around one of his. It was comfortable, but she didn't know what she thought she was doing–Tai never needed comfort from anyone. Maybe this was more for herself, to remind herself that he was real.

But he slid his arm out of her grasp and put it around her shoulders, pulling her in closer. Her heart jumped. What was he doing? But he made no other move. It was strictly platonic, she kept telling herself. He didn't like her, not like that.

"Relena," his voice was barely above a whisper. It was dangerous to use her real name. "I promised that I'd protect you. And I'll say it again, that still stands. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Deirdre felt something inside her snap and scream "NOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU CAN'T!!! YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL SOMEONE THEN!!" But she didn't move, in fact, she froze. His hand was on her head, stroking her hair. It felt wonderful but she couldn't feel that now, she was too scared. She'd force him to kill someone. He couldn't keep that promise, he have to break it, or else wind up killing again.

She could barely see the flowers that lined the walkway to the door in the moonlight, but she remembered that they were yellow and purple. And she knew that there was the basketball court to her left that the family had played on before. If he killed again, he could never come back to this. It would be spoiled and he would be lost again, without a family and a home. After going to war and killing, you were changed. And after swearing that he'd never kill again and breaking that, he'd be broken.

There was no way she would ever let him do that–she wasn't worth it. And there was only one way to make sure if it.

After all these years, after all her work, she had finally found him and become friends with him so that they could talk and be happy in each other's company. They cared about each other openly but not romantically. She had what she'd always desired most, his friendship. But this had to end. And it burned inside of her.

Clenching her eyes shut, she turned slightly to bury herself deeper in his one-armed hug. For now she would enjoy this last hug from him, but after this, it could never happen again. And she wasn't sure how she'd face such a world alone, but she had to, for his sake. She loved him too much.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N