Disclaimer – see chapter 1.

Homecoming

Part 4 – Surrogate

By Random1377

Rei woke feeling warm and incredibly well rested. By the quality of the light filtering through the closed blinds in the hotel room, she guessed it was sometime in the afternoon, but Rei was not concerned by this – she was on official NERV business, and she had never cared for school all that much in the first place.

One more 'absent' mark to her collection truly did not bother her.

Yawning delicately, she tried to rub her face, but found this rather difficult as her arms seemed to be involved in the unexpected task of cradling the Second Child's mother quite affectionately to her chest.

"Oh," the woman said coolly, "I see you're finally up. Good morning."

"Good morning," Rei replied calmly, assessing the situation carefully as she tried to understand what, exactly, had happened.

She remembered the bar, and the two drinks a rather forceful patron had convinced her to have before Kyoko had noticed and shooed the man away… but the rest of the evening was rather blurry. Kyoko had given her several glasses of water, telling her that it would dilute the alcohol, but she did not seem terribly concerned about it, and after some time… the laughter and the jokes and the merriment of those around her seemed to bleed together for Rei.

Somehow, she had the uncomfortable notion that sharing a bed had been her idea.

"This is a bit of a reversal," Kyoko observed, making no move to free herself from Rei's arms. "I'm supposed to be the mother figure."

Well, Rei mused ironically, at least I have THAT secret left.

"Excuse me," she murmured, starting to pull away, "I did not mean-"

"You don't have to let me go," Kyoko said softly, "I don't mind it…"

To emphasize this, Kyoko reached up and grasped Rei's wrist, keeping her from pulling her arm away. Though she found this arrangement a bit uncomfortable, Rei made no protest, allowing the woman to snuggle a bit closer, resting her head on Rei's breast as her eyes drifted closed.

"Do you think it's strange of me to want you to hold me like this…?"

Rei considered the question for only a moment. "No," she replied truthfully. "As you've said… you have been without human contact for many years. It is reasonable to believe that you would seek it where you can."

Kyoko laughed softly. "You're pretty understanding, considering how standoffish you've been since we met."

"I am not."

"Pardon?"

"I am not understanding," Rei said simply, "I am reasonable. My answer was the logical conclusion based on your circumstances, nothing more."

Shrugging minutely, Kyoko said, "I guess beggars can't be choosers."

"Mm."

"We had ourselves quite an adventure last night, didn't we?" Kyoko mused, lingering against Rei's side for one last moment before pulling away. "I didn't mean for you to get drunk, though… does your head hurt or anything?"

Rei shook her head. "No," she said quietly, "I am fine."

"You were cute," the older woman said playfully, "all the guys wanted your number."

Averting her eyes, Rei whispered, "You are… embarrassing me."

Kyoko laughed with delight, but she cut herself off as a sharp stabbing pain filled her head. "Damn," she groaned, "shouldn't have done that. Guh… I'm gonna be sick…"

Quickly, she threw back the covers and hurried into the bathroom. Rei decided that she was very grateful to the woman for having the presence of mind to close the door before relegating the contents of her stomach to the toilet basin. Sitting up in bed, the First cast around for her clothes, finding (much to her consternation) that she had been sleeping with Kyoko hugged tightly against her bra.

If the older woman had been looking for physical comfort, Rei had definitely offered it.

Why? she asked herself, spying her school uniform still draped carefully over the back of the chair she had left it on. Her emotional wellbeing is not my concern. Even inebriated, I should not have felt protective of a woman I barely know…

Still musing over this odd situation, Rei dressed herself, glancing up as Kyoko finally emerged from the bathroom, looking far less green than when she had gone in.

"Guess your Commander's gonna wanna talk to me today, huh?"

Rei buttoned the last button on her shirt. "I would imagine so," she confirmed evenly. "He will want Ikari back…"

"Is he your friend?" Kyoko asked quietly, "Shinji, I mean."

Letting her arms hang loosely at her sides, Rei replied, "We do not… know each other well enough to use that term."

"Do you want him to be?"

"I am not sure."

"…do you hate me for taking him away from you?"

"No," Rei said levelly, "because eventually, you will return him."

"Oh?"

"Yes. The Commander will not allow him to remain within Unit 02's core."

Kyoko leaned against the bathroom doorframe, folding her arms under her breasts as she assessed the First Child. "You do like him, don't you?" she mused. "Interesting. Well, Miss Ayanami, the future's never predictable, no matter what your Commander says… but for him to come back, I would need to get back into Unit 02 and let my ego borderline go. Do you think I'll do that for him, or your Commander?"

Rei met the woman's gaze. "I am not sure," she admitted, "but I believe that you might."

"Really now," Kyoko said quietly, "and why is that?"

Crouching down to pull on her socks, Rei whispered, "Because you know it is not right to force him to take your place."

"And you think I care about right and wrong after being stuck in that monster for seven years?"

"…yes."

Kyoko snorted disgustedly, pushing away from the doorframe and reaching back to unzip her dress. "Boy, are you a lousy judge of character. You want some breakfast?"

And with that, Rei knew the conversation was over.

( 0 0 0 )

"Let's start over," Ritsuko said tiredly. "Unit 02 is unstable why, again?"

Kyoko smiled. "It's fairly simple, actually," she explained indulgently. "The soul binding process is largely voluntary. You can't really force a soul into an Evangelion… so when I, er, borrowed your pilot's genetic mass, he didn't really fully… stick to Unit 02."

Nodding to Asuka, Ritsuko said, "But she synchronized with him… how would that be possible if he wasn't in Unit 02's core?"

"You're not listening," Kyoko yawned, glancing around the room, "I said he's not fully bound to Unit 02, meaning he's in there… just not all the way. Where is Miss Ayanami this fine afternoon?"

Ritsuko grunted impatiently. "Probably doing something for the Commander," she said dismissively, "now please, explain to me how what you're saying is possible? Every protocol on paper says that once a soul is in a Unit, it's there to stay."

"Well clearly that's not correct," Kyoko snorted, reaching out and pinching Kaji on the arm. "See? Wouldn't be able to do that if I was in Unit 02… well I could, but it would hurt – a lot."

Rolling her eyes, Misato tossed her pen onto the conference room table. "Let's stop with all this bullshit," she said archly, "I strongly recommend that you give us some straight answers, Misses Souryu – my patience is wearing thin… I want Shinji out. Now."

Kyoko turned to Asuka. "She's feisty, liebchen," she pouted, "make her be nice."

Asuka simply looked away, rubbing at her tired eyes and trying to recall that happy feeling she had felt when leaving NERV the night before. Somehow, given time to reflect on everything that had happened, the happiness had turned dull and cold, leaving her feeling guilty for ever having reveled in her own freedom.

Reflection also gave her plenty of time to dwell on what, exactly, she felt for her mother…

"So is that how you got out?" Kaji asked lightly, flashing Kyoko a radiant smile as she turned her attention to him.

"No," the elder Soryu said brightly, "I was bound pretty tight."

"Excuse me for saying so," Ritsuko pointed out, "but I think that's a bit of a stretch, don't you? I mean… you did think that a doll was your daughter… and you tried to kill your real daughter… and then you hung yourself – all after you were supposedly bound to Unit 02. Your body should have been broken apart. How is it that you were able to do those things?"

"Well she's mean too, liebchen!" Kyoko protested, "Everyone's against me." Seeing that her daughter was not to be drawn out, Kyoko sighed. "Fine, fine," she said gustily, "the truth of the matter is that I… I had some misgivings about the contact experiment. I couldn't quite surrender myself to the EVA… but as the experiment had gone too far, I could not quite return to my body. The end result of this… complicated equation was a state of separation. I could see my self moving around, talking, and acting like a lunatic… but I couldn't do anything to stop it."

"Then… how did you get into 02, then?" Maya ventured, feeling very out of her depth.

Kyoko shrugged. "It's not a pretty story," she said with mock weariness. "Essentially, when my soul was… loosened, shall we say, from my body – it drove me insane. I struggled for weeks to regain control of my body, but I never succeeded for more than a moment or two. Finally, I could not take it anymore, and the next time I gained control of my body… I…well… killed it." She tapped her fingers on the table as Maya gasped. "I knew I had to end it one way or another… but somehow, when I made contact with Unit 02, it created a resonance, or an attraction of some sort. So when I finally died, my soul was drawn into its core. Simple as tha-"

"I found you, you know…"

"What's that, liebchen?"

Asuka's head was down, but her voice was clear as she repeated, "I found you. I was coming to tell you I was a pilot, and that… that it was ok that Daddy left us, and I found you… just hanging there…"

"Did you?" Kyoko said, sounding only mildly surprised. "My… I must have been a mess, mustn't I?"

"I wanted to cut you down," Asuka whispered, "I wanted to save you… but I was too… too small…"

Kaji winced, the redhead's comments on the Over the Rainbow about being an adult hammering through his mind as he looked to the girl's mother.

He found her smiling reassuringly.

"But you were able to get past it," she said happily, "you always were such a strong little girl. Your father and I were so proud of you. Hey, Mister Kaji," she said suddenly, "remind me to tell you about the time Asuka decided she wanted to visit one of her friends down the road while I was taking a nap. I think the-"

"Stop talking like that!" Asuka shouted, knocking her chair back from the table and shooting to her feet. "Stop talking like you never left! Stop talking like you never tried to kill me! Stop talking like you give a damn about me – just stop it!"

There was a preternatural quiet in the conference room as everyone stared at the redhead. Expressions ranged from shocked to outright dazed, though embarrassment was the most prevalent. Asuka's past – especially with regards to her mother – had recently come into sharp focus for far more people than the redhead would have guessed, so there was no one at the table that did not know what she was screaming about.

Though had she known this, she may very well have curled up into a ball and sobbed. Her mother's near-murder of her in the depths of her insanity was the darkest part of Asuka's soul… the knowledge that it was becoming almost as well known as the 'God's in his Heaven' logo of NERV would most certainly have driven her to the edge of madness, if not beyond.

"Liebchen," Kyoko began awkwardly, all of her playfulness gone, "I only want-"

"You don't get to call me that!" Asuka cut in furiously. "I'm not your liebchen anymore – I live for me, do you understand? Me – no one else! I don't need you! I wish you never came back!"

Unexpectedly, Maya burst into tears.

"I'm s-sorry," she sobbed as everyone stared at her incredulously, "she's… that's… I'm sorry…"

Ignoring the technician's blubbering, Kyoko put one hand on the table, staring at it rather than meeting her daughter's pain-filled eyes. "You shouldn't talk to your mother that way."

Asuka's fists slammed down on the conference table hard enough to rattle the coffee mugs from one end to the other. "That's the best you can come up with?" she shrieked. "I still wake up feeling your hands around my throat and 'you shouldn't talk to your mother that way' is the best you can come up with?"

"You don't know how hard it's been," Kyoko whispered, blinking as tears slowly began running from her eyes. "I've had to watch you grow from behind a wall of glass, unable to touch or truly feel-"

"I don't care how hard it's been," Asuka cried, pounding the table again for emphasis, "You knew what you were getting into – you knew! I had to grow up alone for seven goddamn years, do you know what that's like, you inconsiderate bitch? You knew what you were doing… you knew… and you left me without a second thought."

Slowly, Kyoko rose to her feet. Maya, who was sitting closest to her, shrank back, her tears forgotten as she distanced herself from the bad vibes radiating from the older woman. Keeping her eyes on her daughter, Kyoko raised her hand… and slapped the redhead across the face, making the younger girl stumble and nearly fall, cracking her elbows sharply on the edge of the table.

"Don't you ever… say that I acted without thinking," Kyoko said softly, her eyes burning into her daughter's as the younger woman righted herself. "I brought you into this world and held you when you cried… I fed you and kept you safe and happy as long as I could… and when the time came, I gave my life willingly to ensure you the promise of a better tomorrow. Hate me if you have to, God knows I deserve it, but don't you dare say I did it without thinking of you, because it was all for you!"

Deafening silence descended as mother and daughter glared at one another, too caught up in their rage and pain to take notice of the others in the room. No one spoke, no one moved, no one dared breathe as the two practically hurled their wills together, each trying to gain the emotional upper hand and force the other to accept their point of view.

Ultimately, it was Asuka who looked away, nearly sobbing, "I hate you," as she bolted from the room, her fiery red hair streaming out behind her as she fought against her own feelings, all of her hatred for her mother transferring to herself as she realized that she had no idea who her mother really was… and that she no longer wanted to know.

As the door slowly closed, Kyoko dropped back into her seat. "Childish," she whispered hollowly, scrubbing at her face with both hands. "Childish…"

If she was referring to herself, or Asuka… no one in the room knew.

( 0 0 0 )

Tears blinding her, Asuka fled, racing through the halls of NERV as if being chased by all the demons of Hell, though she honestly had no idea where she was going. All she knew was that she wanted to get away from everything – she had to get away, or she was going to die. One more look into her mother's eyes, and her heart would simply stop beating.

Finally out of breath, she fell to her hands and knees, gasping raggedly as the coppery taste of blood rose in the back of her throat. I want out, she thought desperately, I just want out of this! What good is praise if it comes from HER? She's never going back into Unit 02, sorry Shinji, she's too goddamn selfish for…

Asuka let the thought trail off, lifting her head to find, unsurprisingly perhaps, that she was in the EVA cages, directly in front of Unit 02.

"Can you hear me?" she croaked, wiping at her eyes as she sat back on her heels and stared up at the giant red machine. "Can you see me? You said they turn all the systems off at night, but it's the middle of the day. Does that mean you can use the sensors to see what's going on outside?"

Unit 02 remained motionless, but Asuka never looked away from its cowl, trying to picture Shinji's face.

What a joke, she thought pitifully. I only saw his face for like, a few hours… I barely knew him.

Glancing around to ensure that she was alone, Asuka rose to her feet. Like a drug addict filching from a friend, she crept over to the control console, keying in the sequence to insert the plug and hurrying over to the entry hatch. She kept her breathing even as she was loaded into Unit 02, brushing her eyes one last time to ensure that they were dry as the plug was flooded with LCL.

Shinji would understand… Shinji had to understand – he knew everything about her, now.

Shinji, she thought as soon as the third stage connection was made, I need you.

She gasped, her back arching up off the pilot's seat as another presence filled her, making her skin seem to dance on her bones… and this time, when Shinji spoke, it resonated in every cell in her body.

"I'm here."

What's… happening…? Asuka thought, desperately holding onto her sense of self as torrents of foreign memories roared into her mind.

"I don't know," Shinji replied, "it's different… I… get out! Asuka, get out of Unit 02!"

Asuka's fingers stumbled blindly along the control panel, her vision doubling, and then tripling as she sought the ejection trigger.

"D-damn it," she cried, "can't… find it… ah!"

Father… father don't leave me!

In her mind, she saw Commander Ikari slowly walking away from her… and the memory was so vivid she could actually taste the tears and snot pouring freely down her childish face.

"That's… not me," she gasped, "I'm not… him. Shinji – help me!"

"I'm tr-"

Abruptly, everything went silent.

Asuka rocked forward in the seat, gasping for breath as Shinji's presence abruptly vanished. "Wh…at…?"

"Asuka!"

Shaking her head to clear it, Asuka felt the plug spinning out of Unit 02, purging its LCL in a violent burst as the entry hatch was torn open.

"Asuka! Oh thank god!"

Her mother, looking flushed and winded, fell to her knees, throwing her arms around Asuka's chest and burying her face in the girl's shoulder.

"You stupid, stupid girl," she sobbed, "I told you it was unstable! God… when you ran off I never thought you'd come here! What were you thinking? You could have died! If Akagi hadn't mentioned that you were here earlier…" she trailed off, shaking from head to toe as she held her most precious creation, sobbing uncontrollably as the redhead simply stared, dumbfound, at the top of her head.

( 0 0 0 )

"What now, Ikari…?"

Gendou stared up at his ceiling, leaving Fuyutsuki's question unanswered for a moment as he contemplated the intricate nature of this new wrinkle. With Unit 02 unstable, and therefore unusable, his plans were in jeopardy.

This was not acceptable.

"Unit 01," he murmured, "have the pilot data reconfigured for Rei… and accelerate the repair schedule for 00."

Fuyutsuki cleared his throat. "Will that be sufficient?" he wondered doubtfully. "If we were attacked tomorrow…"

Gendou sighed as the question hung in the air. "Yui won't let us down," he said carefully. "She may be… temperamental, when it comes to who operates Unit 01, but in a crisis, she would allow Rei the honor – if grudgingly."

"I don't think she likes the taste of the First Child," Fuyutsuki snorted.

"Would you?"

"Yes, well… hopefully she will have her favorite back shortly."

Gendou's lips compressed into a thin line. "I do not believe in relying on hope," he said flatly. "I believe Misses Souryu needs a little encouragement to go back where she belongs."

"I doubt she'll be very cooperative," Fuyutsuki pointed out, "and before you say it, no, I wouldn't be either – but all of that aside, supposing we do 'convince' her to reenter the core, what's to stop her from pulling this again?"

"Easy," Gendou replied. "She was only able to exit the core when two pilots were present, and the synchronization ratio of the secondary spiked due to high pressure. The odds of this set of circumstances occurring again, I can assure you, are zero."

"…and if she finds another way out?"

Gendou's voice was cold and hard as he murmured, "She won't."

Nodding, Fuyutsuki murmured, "As you say."

He noticed as he took his leave, however, that the Commander jotted the word, 'Akagi' on the blotter next to his phone… and he took some comfort in knowing that as tough as the younger man seemed on the outside, he was still human enough to know uncertainty.

Continued…

Author's notes: Hopefully this chapter explained one viewpoint on how Kyoko managed to stick around after 'losing her soul' to Unit 02. It's never fully explained in the series, but it's fair to assume that the woman lost something in the contact experiment mentioned in episode 22. The other explanations I've heard forwarded are 1- Kyoko lost her soul entirely during the experiment and was just a functional shell, which doesn't hold water for me, cuz she would have ended up as primordial soup, like Yui. 2- her soul was removed after she hung herself, which is a bit more likely than theory 1, but doesn't explain her nuttiness and affection for button-eyed dolls. 3- ok, I don't have a 3, I just thought only having two theories was uneven…

No pre-reader this time.

Feedback is always welcome at random1377(at-sign)yahoo(dot)com.