Disclaimer – see chapter 1.

Homecoming

Part 5 – Commiserating with Nero

By Random1377

Misato folded her arms on the table and rested her head in the crook of one elbow. "I'm getting sick of this room," she muttered, letting her eyes slip closed for a moment as she yawned into her armpit. "The next time we have an earthshaking catastrophe, can we discuss its ominous ramifications at my place? Or maybe like, a Denny's?"

"All you need is to feel like you're at home to be productive and shut up?" Ritsuko mumbled, keeping her eyes on the scattered mound of paperwork in front of her and tapping a few lines into her laptop. "Should I have some beer brought in for you?"

"Can you?" Misato asked, raising her head hopefully.

"No."

"Oh… thought not." She lowered her head once more. "Then how about taking my gun and shooting me? We've been in here for seven hours – if I don't do something soon, I'm going to go crazy."

Ritsuko's lips thinned as she glanced towards Kyoko. "If you really want to be helpful, get her to stop pining and help me out."

Refusing to look away from the ceiling, Kyoko whispered, "It's not pining, Akagi – pining is for when you get dumped by a lover… I'm mourning."

No one asked what she was mourning.

One look across the room at where the woman's daughter lay sleeping on the conference room couch, and knowing even half of their shouted conversation earlier in the day, would be explanation enough.

What a selfish tramp, Misato thought bitterly, idly turning Shinji's SDAT (which had been found on board the Over the Rainbow) in lazy circles on the tabletop. Your daughter hates your guts, and I can't say I blame her… I mean after all, I…

Misato let the thought trail off, shoving the SDAT disgustedly down the table as thoughts of Kyoko and Asuka led to thoughts of her own father and their damaged, dysfunctional relationship.

And in her current mood, these were not thoughts she felt like dwelling on.

The SDAT skittered across the table, coming to an abrupt halt as Kyoko put her hand in front of it. "Temper, temper, Captain," she scolded. "You wouldn't want to break this, now would you?"

"Cram it, Souryu," Misato grumbled, "the only reason I'm not shoving you in Unit 02 right now is because I know it won't do any good." Turning to Ritsuko, she demanded, "Tell me again why we can't just knock her out and stuff her in there? Won't Shinji just take his body back?"

Ritsuko looked up irritably. "What part of 'voluntary borderline breach' is unclear to you? Are you not getting the voluntary part?"

"But Shinji didn't give his up voluntarily."

Kyoko spoke before Ritsuko could rebut this.

"Actually… he did."

"Come again?"

Everyone stared at the elder Souryu as she turned Shinji's SDAT over and over in her hands. "When his sync ratio spiked," she explained, "I only had a few seconds worth of time… but you'd be amazed how much information can travel from one consciousness to another in such a short window. I couldn't use words, so I… projected feelings of warmth and comfort, getting him curious enough – on a subconscious level – to loosen his ego border enough to-"

"You tricked him!" Misato exploded, looking as if she desperately wanted to shoot the woman dead. "Ritsuko," she hissed, "you're in charge – I can't be here right now… or they'll be burying her again by the time I get done with her."

As she rose to her feet, however, a smooth voice ordered, "Stand down, Captain…"

"Kouzou?" Kyoko said, shaking off her lethargy and getting quickly to her feet as Misato bit her tongue and dropped back into her seat. "Wow, are you a sight for sore eyes! I thought for sure you would have gotten out of this nuthatch by now."

The sub-commander extended his arm, giving the woman a firm handshake. "Souryu," he said calmly, "it's… interesting to see you again."

Kyoko grinned. "Can't break out of that teacher mould, can you old timer?"

Fuyutsuki coughed into his fist. "Some habits die harder than others," he said, smiling faintly as he gestured to Kyoko's seat, "Please…"

Sitting back down, Kyoko looked Fuyutsuki up and down. "Man," she marveled, "you haven't changed a bit, have you?"

"My ideals, no," Fuyutsuki replied casually, "though I have had this little pain in my neck for a day or two."

"Mmm can't help with that," Kyoko said sadly, "not a medical doctor, you know."

Fuyutsuki picked up a coffee mug, glancing into it briefly as he murmured, "I think you can help me with this pain, Souryu."

Kyoko's smile grew fixed. "Ah," she said, shifting in her seat as the sub-commander set her mug back down, "guess I should have guessed that this wasn't a casual visit, eh?"

"Indeed."

"Can I ask one thing?"

"Hmm?"

The woman smiled wolfishly as she said, "Can you call me an inconvenience instead of a pain? For old time's sake?"

"Ever the jester," Fuyutsuki mused, looking around the conference room at the gathered NERV employees. "Must we continue this… debacle, Kyoko? All these hardworking people slaving away to find a solution to a problem only you can rectify seems… wasteful."

Kyoko shrugged. "They all know the remedy," she said lightly, "they're the ones spinning their wheels trying to find alternatives, not me. I just wanted a little break."

"And now you've had it."

Turning her eyes to Asuka, Kyoko whispered, "There are still some matters I have to take care of, Kouzou."

Fuyutsuki sighed. "I'm afraid I don't have time to let you play around anymore, Kyoko," he said, sounding truly regretful. "You and I both know that your immediate reentrance into Unit 02 is crucial to the survival of our race. Why are you drawing this out? An angel could come at any time."

"I told you," Kyoko said quietly, "I have…" Abruptly, she leaned over, lowering her voice for the sub-commander's ears alone. "You owe me this time, Kouzou," she whispered fiercely, "there wouldn't be an Evangelion program if it wasn't for me!"

"That's… quite an exaggeration," Fuyutsuki said mildly, "admittedly, you did contribute greatly to the completion of Units 00 and 02, but the work would have been completed one way or another, and time, I'm afraid, is no longer on your side. The MAGI computers are reporting erratic, orange pattern activity within Unit 02's core. Now, can you – being so knowledgeable on the EVAs – tell me what, exactly, that might mean?"

Kyoko slumped back in her seat, scratching the back of her neck as she mumbled, "Partial remanifestation… temporal breaches in core containment… de-unionization of the host body and the geist."

"Leading to…?"

A gasp rose from the others in the room as Kyoko whispered, "Eventual geist leakage and, ultimately… total loss."

"Mm," Fuyutsuki grunted, "And tell me… do you feel that young Ikari deserves to lose first his body, then his soul, so you can have the opportunity to go out drinking with the First Child and mope for hours on end because the daughter you abandoned – for good reasons, admittedly – wants nothing to do with you?"

Standing abruptly, Kyoko brushed past the man. "I don't have to listen to this crap," she said flatly, "I served my time in that monster." Yanking the door open, she hesitated. "Look, I'm sorry about the kid, I really am… but there's too much for me to set straight for me to get stuck back in there."

"Sir?" Misato said as the woman made her exit. "Permission to speak freely?"

"Denied," Fuyutsuki said flatly. "I can already guess at anything you might have to say, Captain, and I assure you, I am not in the mood." Turning to Ritsuko, he said, "Based on the MAGI data… how long does Ikari have?"

"Before full bleedout?" Ritsuko sighed. "Fifteen hours. Twenty, if he fights with all he's got."

"So… fifteen," Fuyutsuki mused, "Well, that will-"

Abruptly, Misato slammed her fist down on the table. "He is not weak," she said dangerously, "if twenty is the limit, he'll make it to twenty-five, damn it! That boy-"

"Relax, Captain," Fuyutsuki said, rising to his feet and straightening his jacket. "Please excuse my levity, it was misplaced and inappropriate. Doctor Akagi… set us a twenty-five hour timer."

Before anyone could say anything else, he turned on his heel and left without a backward glance.

( 0 0 0 )

Rei entered the EVA cages as quietly as she could, not out of any desire to keep her presence secret, but because she had always been taught to respect the power of the behemoths bound by the flimsy restraints devised by man… as if anything manmade could contain the might of a being as powerful as an angel.

She began making her way towards the repair bay, where Unit 00 still languished after the disastrous fight with the fifth angel. They had won the day, and she had protected Ikari as she said she would, but the damage to her mecha had been monumental. While reconstruction was going quite well, the Commander had instructed her to visit the unit every day to keep her familiar with the Unit… or rather, to keep the Unit familiar with her.

Sound advice, considering her previous difficulties with the machine.

Moving through the cages, however, she was surprised to find the space in front of Unit 02 occupied by a lone figure. Who is that? It looks like… ah… Misses Souryu…

Keeping her tread light, the First began walking past the older woman, not wanted to disturb whatever reverie she was caught up in.

"Hello, Miss Ayanami."

Rei came up short. "Hello, Misses Souryu."

"How are you?"

"No different than when we parted ways this morning," Rei said politely, "and yourself?"

Kyoko shrugged. "Still alive," she said quietly, "which is, if I do say so myself, pretty impressive." Glancing over her shoulder, she said, "Come over here and talk to me for a minute?"

Rei glanced at her watch. Though there was no real timetable for her visits to Unit 00, she liked to keep them within a certain range, reasoning that the Unit would respond better to consistency than randomness.

"Alright…"

She walked to Kyoko's side, following her gaze up to Unit 02's quadoptic face.

"Magnificent, isn't it?" the older woman whispered. "'Man's triumph over God,' is what they used to call it back at Gehrin – some people even talked about making that our logo… though I guess they decided on that Browning poem when NERV came around." Her expression darkened. "I'll bet that was your Commander's idea."

There was something liberating, Rei decided, about being with someone that knew her true origins. She did not have to watch what she said, and considering that the woman standing next to her knew more of NERV and the EVAs than she did, there were very few secrets outside of Commander Ikari's specific machinations for her to concern herself with hiding.

While this did not change her personality, it did help her relax a bit, loosening her tongue to the point that she felt comfortable saying, "It would not surprise me… he is fond of poetry."

Kyoko sighed. "You look up to him, don't you?" she mused. "I can't say I blame you… he's probably raised you from the day you were released from the tank. Which reminds me," she said suddenly, "there aren't… others like you, are there? When we were first working on the project, there was talk of canceling it, even up front, because of risks like memory loss and physical breakdown over time. Did they overcome those?"

"No," Rei said quietly, "they did not. During… release, there is a danger of short-term memory loss, and I am required to take several medications on a daily basis to keep my body healthy." She hesitated a moment before concluding, "I am the only one."

"Does it make you feel unique or special?" Kyoko wondered.

Rei shook her head. "Not particularly," she said evenly. "I do not enjoy thinking for myself, if I can avoid it, and I know, someday, my time will end, so I do not see the purpose in creating unique memories that will only vanish when I am gone."

Kyoko laughed softly. "You poor thing," she said sadly. "Everyone dies eventually… creating memories is a way of enjoying the time you are given. I'll wager that your Commander holds his memories very, very tight…"

"Perhaps," Rei said quietly, "but my time is much more finite."

Shrugging, Kyoko retorted, "All the more reason to make it precious."

To this, Rei said nothing. It was not an argument she wanted to partake in just then – or ever, quite honestly… not when she knew her lifespan would most likely reach a ceiling of eight years.

Or less, considering how fast the angels were coming then.

Glancing down, she noticed that Kyoko was clutching something loosely in her right hand. "That is… Ikari's, correct?"

Hefting the SDAT, Kyoko nodded. "Here," she said softly, holding the item out to Rei, "I wanted to see what he listened to. Give it back to him for me, ok?"

Rei accepted the SDAT carefully. "I will," she promised, "when he returns."

"Thank you…"

They lapsed into silence as Rei slipped the player into her jumper's pocket and Kyoko continued staring up at Unit 02. After several moments, Rei bowed and turned to take her leave.

"Do you know who Nero was?"

Pursing her lips, Rei thought back over her history lessens before replying, "He… fiddled as Rome burned, correct?"

"That's the old saying," Kyoko nodded, "but do you know the root of it?"

"No, I do not."

Never looking away from Unit 02, Kyoko said, "In about 64 AD, there was a horrible fire in Rome… it gutted most of the city, forcing Nero, who was Emperor at the time, to rebuild. Some years later, it was suggested that Nero had the fire set himself, fiddling with glee as the city burned because it gave him the opportunity to rebuild it the way he wanted – a preposterous idea, considering that the fiddle wasn't even invented until the 1500s… though the underlying accusation that he was the one that ordered the fire started is impossible to prove or disprove…"

As the woman trailed off, Rei digested the information she had been given.

Before she could say anything, though, Kyoko went on. "I understand the desire to tear something you don't like down and remake it in your own image," she said quietly, "but humans aren't buildings, Miss Ayanami… do you understand? I've had seven years of quietude and isolation to ponder the idea of Human Complementation, and the more I think about it, the more I come to the conclusion that forcing the entire species towards the same conclusion, even if we are a 'colony of worthlessness,' or whatever those old bastards at SEELE called us, is wrong – so wrong it's almost… almost as if we're trying to harness demons instead of angels."

Rei studied the woman's profile. "It will mean the eradication of loneliness and isolation, Misses Souryu," she pointed out, "it-"

"But at what cost?" Kyoko cut in, turning to face the First and holding her arms out to the sides, "What if I don't want to share all that I am with everyone else? What if I'm happier being me – shouldn't I be given the choice of whether or not I'm part of the 'collective'? Forcing others into things, Miss Ayanami, is what the preachers in the old pre-impact churches used to call The Devil's Way. Now I'm not overly religious, but I agree that making others do what they don't want to is wrong."

"I dislike conversations of this nature," Rei said coolly, "but I think I should point out that as a mother, you yourself have forced your child to do things she did not want to do, correct?"

Kyoko's eyes were sparkling as she leaned over the First and said, "I guided her, Miss Ayanami… in the end, if she did not want to do something, she would not have to. Yes, the unseen threat of parenthood is the withdrawal of food, shelter, and affection – but the choice is always there. Can you understand the distinction? I led my child as best I could, but I never forced her into anything."

Rei averted her eyes. "Your definition of force is ambiguous," she observed, "but I… admit that you raise interesting questions. I must ask you to excuse me, though," she said, bowing slightly, "I have duties I must fulfill…"

"Of course," Kyoko said, feeling suddenly very foolish for trying to bring a seven-year-old clone around to her point of view.

As if she has any influence over any of this…

Had Kyoko known the real truth of Rei's nature… she might have spent a few more minutes trying to change the First's mind.

( 0 0 0 )

Asuka woke feeling dry and shriveled up. Her tongue felt particularly sandy, sticking to the roof of her mouth like long-dried glue and reminding her of the practice sessions she had endured when she had pursued an idle ambition to be an operatic singer.

It had not panned out well for her.

"Herr Wagner would just scream if he saw me sleeping on my back," she croaked to herself, sitting up and rubbing her eyes as she glanced around the darkened conference room, hoping to find a bottle of water, "Lord I hated that man." She lowered her voice to a guttural growl – an easy feat, considering how dehydrated she felt, and rumbled, "You vill ruin your vocal chords, Frau Langley! Alvays sleep on your stom-"

She broke off into a coughing fit as her throat protested the rough treatment.

What time is it, anyway? she wondered, noticing that Maya – most likely left to watch her – was asleep in the chair at the far end of the room, snoring lightly as her head lolled to one side. Heh… Herr Wagner would have eaten you alive, Lieutenant.

Keeping her mind occupied with her hunt for water, Asuka started for the door, casting around for something to cover Maya with before giving up and exiting the conference room to make her way through the quiet corridors towards the lunchroom. Reaching it, she gratefully fell on the water fountain, greedily sucking up what felt like half of the Tokyo-3 reservoir before pulling away with a grateful sigh.

"Now," she said, pleased to find her voice back to normal, "a little snack."

She walked up to one of the vending machines, but a wave of horror washed over her as she realized that she had never changed out of her plugsuit, and as plugsuits had no pockets… she had no money.

"Shiest," she muttered, banging her head on the heavy glass plate on the front of the vending machine and pretending that her mouth was not watering.

"Tsk," a voice behind her murmured. "What would your mother say if she heard that?"

Asuka whirled around. "Kaji!" she cried, happy that it was not Misato or that frosty Akagi woman… or, worst of all, her mother.

"Hungry, liebchen?" Kaji asked brightly.

The smile that had blossomed on Asuka's face withered and died in a matter of nanoseconds. "Don't call me that, please," she said coolly, barely reminding herself that this was the object of her affections before snapping his head off.

Kaji grinned, reaching into his pocket and rattling a handful of change. "Will a sandwich and a bag of chips buy me forgiveness?"

"It's a good down payment," Asuka said, covering her stomach discreetly as the mere mention of food made it rumble violently. "Roast beef and cheddar, please… and umm, if you throw in a Pepsi, I might just forget this conversation ever took place."

"No diet soda for you, huh?" Kaji said as he pulled out his coins.

"Are you implying something?"

Kaji laughed, watching the girl's hungry eyes as he pushed the buttons to order the plastic wrapped sandwich. "No, no," he said quickly, "it's just that so many girls your age are self-conscious… and soda's not all that great for you anyway, so…"

Asuka shrugged as he trailed off, too fixed on the food to really keep track of what he was saying. "Thanks," she said, nearly diving through the vending machine's slot to snatch the sandwich up.

"Heard you had a bit of a rough sync," Kaji said quietly, slipping more coins into the machine as Asuka froze with the sandwich halfway to her mouth.

Shaking herself, Asuka ripped off a large bite of her beef and cheddar, barely chewing before swallowing it down. "Yeah," she coughed, pounding her chest as the lump of meat and bread caught in her throat, "no big deal…"

Handing her a can, Kaji replied, "Must have been at least a medium deal… you've been out for fifteen hours."

"Fifteen hours?" Asuka cried, nearly dropping her sandwich as she realized why it was so quiet.

"Yeah," Kaji said, leaning against the vending machine as he went on. "Your mother's in the cages with Ritsuko and Misato… she said she has a few ideas for stabilizing Unit 02."

"Stabilizing it?"

Kaji bit his lip. "That's right," he said quietly, "you were asleep for that conversation…"

As quickly as he could, Kaji outlined the details of Shinji's current situation… subtly leaving out the fact that he had gathered this information by bugging the conference room earlier in the day.

Better to have information and need it, than need it and not have it, he figured.

"So he's slipping," Asuka murmured thoughtfully, lifting the sandwich to her lips… but forgetting to bite it. "Yeah, that's kind of what it felt like when I synced – like he was slipping into me." She blushed, suddenly realizing how this comment sounded, but when she looked up to gauge Kaji's response, the man was deep in thought.

"What do you think of him now?"

Asuka blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Of Shinji," Kaji needlessly clarified. "When you first met him, you were pretty open about thinking he was a loser… what do you think of him now?"

"Someone… my mother explained syncing to you, didn't she?" Asuka said slowly. When Kaji nodded, the redhead bowed her head. "I don't think she could do it justice with words, Kaji," she whispered quietly, "for one thing, when she was in Unit 02 – I never felt her, I just synced. Since Shinji's, well, not – bound, I guess – I can… feel more of him."

"And…?"

"Don't make me say it."

Kaji frowned. "Don't make you say what?"

Carefully wrapping the remains of her sandwich, Asuka said, "Don't make me say how it feels to have another soul pushing inside of your mind. I know it's not his fault, but when I synched, it… it was like Shinji was raping my mind, ok? I felt… violated – like I'd lost something I can never get back. I promised I'd help get him out, Kaji, but as God is my witness, I have no idea what I can possibly say to him when he's finally free."

Normally armed with witty replies and clever jokes, Kaji found himself shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"I'm sorry…"

Asuka managed a ghost of a smile. "You didn't know," she said simply, "there's no way you could have, and, in a way… I'm glad you found out."

"Oh?" Kaji said, "Why's that?"

Averting her eyes, Asuka whispered, "Because I'm tired of being the one that always has to be str-"

Both of them nearly jumped out of their skin as the overhead system announced, "All EVA pilots, all EVA pilots, please report to the Command center for immediate debriefing – this is not a drill! All EVA pilots, all EVA…"

As the message began repeating itself, Asuka met Kaji's eyes… and the depths of the helplessness he saw in them nearly brought the man to his knees.

To be Concluded…

Author's notes: I can't think of anything to note here except – one more chapter to go! Whee!

I didn't have a pre-reader on this chapter.

Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities or by e-mailing me directly at random1377(at-sign)yahoo(dot)com.