Miserable Because Of Love
By TriGemini
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the other characters in the book, J.K. Rowling does.
They say that love is a great thing to have and to feel.
In this case, they're wrong!
Whoever came up with love being the most wonderful feeling in the entire world had to be quite delusional.
It certainly isn't great, it isn't thrilling, it isn't even an everlasting fairy tale ending.
Instead, it's pure loathing, it's painful, it's heartbreaking, and in the end, all you really wish is to breakdown and cry and sometimes you even lose the will to go on.
Pure misery over this feeling is what I have.
For all that I feel now for him…is contempt and anger and in its stead, it had left behind a tinge of bitterness that lingers in my every waking moment forcing me to relive all those moments, the ones that I believed to be good, which in the end only proved to be bad times. I still don't understand where it went wrong between us.
I always knew that Draco Malfoy wasn't exactly a saint. However, I honestly believed he could change. Nevertheless, I was so wrong in many ways to have believed that.
I should've known better than to believe him right off. Still he caught me off guard and somehow he managed to steal his way into my heart.
I know I had loved him and the horrible truth now is that I still do love him.
Despite all the things, he's done to me.
The lies, the betrayal, the fact he hadn't changed at all, and the fact that he was still the same insufferable git that he'd always been.
He didn't just break my heart, he shattered it into a million pieces, leaving it scarred and torn apart.
He broke my spirit, until I completely lost the will to go on. Bruised, broken, and left lifeless when he turned and just left me. For in the end I felt as if I'd been lying on the floor as if my life was suddenly slipping from me.
If his plan was to destroy me little by little, he succeeded in everyway possible.
For he had my body and he made sure each moment we had was pure torture.
His kisses scorched me and took every ounce of breath I had each time we kissed.
His hands made blazing trails with every caress he gave me.
Every moment that went by, I felt as if I was melting and losing my sanity to ecstasy.
For he had my soul, which he broke until I could no longer fight him for he always, made it clear that I belonged to him and to no one else.
No other could claim me for he possessed every part of me and he was right…I was his no matter what.
He had my mind and with that knowledge, he played his twisted games. He made me doubt, distrust, and ultimately nearly drove me to the brink of insanity with his endless games of manipulation.
Losing to him was the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to me.
For I never imagined such a love that started out so pure and good could turn into a mind game and leave me half living with nothing but want of wretchedness.
This love only turned to torment in every instant that I remember now for I simply cannot forgive and forget what Draco has done to me.
He left me in despair, with spilling tears that I shed for him, trying to pretend whatever occurred never happened. That it was simply a nightmare, that everything that had been done and said had left me an empty shell of bitterness and hatred for him.
For he did what he did to me and nothing in this world can ever change that.
I suppose this is what someone gets for being naïve and easily deluded.
I've hated myself for it and never once have I tried to get over it.
Because realistically it can't happen, I can't get over it.
Draco destroyed me and he succeeded where no one could. He managed to convince me that he'd changed but the only thing he did was make me miserable because of love.
Because now all I feel is misery and hatred, yet I still love him all the same.
That's why I'm so miserable because of love.
A/N: I just wrote it because it came to me. It really does not make much sense. But I do you will tell me what you think, all right.