Disclaimer: I am no way affiliated with ABC, Lost, or the work of J.J. Abrams.
Sawyer sat in the seat out side the little shelter he created. The sun was shining brightly and he was wearing those oh-so-attractive sunglasses pretending to read. Annie sat in the hut looking through the assortment of bags that Sawyer had stolen from various people attempting to "organize" the collection of eclectic items.
"Sawyer where'd you manage to get all this stuff? You didn't steal it did you?" Annie questioned sifting through the bags.
"People don't seem to miss it much." He stated coolly.
"Sawyer…" she said walking up to him. She stood akimbo, giving him a look that a mother would give her son who'd just done something bad. He just kept on pretending to read. She was just now noticing the bandage on his arm. "Sawyer how'd you manage this?" she questioned while squatting down to his level.
"Long story involving that damn Iraqi." He muttered full of regret and hatred.
"What happened? You didn't start it did you? Because Sawyer if I know you…"
"Would you stop with the 3rd degree already?" He yelled angered that he had to think about that day. It wasn't exactly one of his smartest ideas lying about those damn inhalers, but he did want that kiss.
"Sawyer…when did this happen? Sawyer are you lying about the Iraqi?" She questioned confused because she didn't remember any of this.
"I said would you cut it out with the questions?" He said in a tone that made her instantly shut up. She'd known Sawyer for a long time and she knew that when he didn't want to tell you something he wasn't going to even if you begged.
"Fine. Sawyer sometimes you make me wonder. Wonder why I even fell in love with you in the first place, you can be so ignorant. You tend to think that you're some kind of god, sometimes I forget that you can be sensitive." She said as she walked back into the hut.
"Freckles…" he began but trailed of when he realized she was right.
He sat there, pitying himself for a while. He hated thinking about how he'd hurt Annie, even if she didn't know it. He hated how he kissed Kate just so he could fill his own need for pleasure. He hated how he had to lie about the inhalers. He hated his ignorance for himself. It was almost as if he had wanted to have been tortured; he didn't even tell them he didn't have the inhalers until he had kissed Kate. He had gone through torture just to get what he wanted. As he began to think harder it wasn't really the pain or Kate that he wanted, he wanted someone who understood him, someone to talk to, someone to fill his absence while Annie had been gone. He wished that the pain that he'd mentally put Annie through would go away. He wished he'd never did the things to her that he did.
"Annie…" he started.
"Yeah?" she said still focusing on the bags.
"I'm going out for a bit…I'll be back soon. Don't go too far from here okay?"
"Yeah, fine." She stated. He could tell that she was a little mad at him. He couldn't blame her; there were lots of thinks that he hadn't yet told her. Too many things would hurt her right now; he'd done too many shameful things for him to even come to terms with how could he expect her?
He walked off into the jungle to an unknown destination.
She gasped how could she of not noticed it lying there in the corner. The black book lay there unharmed. She flipped through the pages of pictures. She smiled and hugged the book close to her chest. How her sketchbook managed to survive the crash was beyond her. She flipped through the pictures carefully inspecting each one, but something was missing.
One picture was torn out. She'd drawn this remarkable picture of the golden gate bridge and the San Francisco skyline last summer while she and Sawyer picnicked across the bay. She had written the lyrics to Tiny Dancer by Elton John across the picture.
She remembered that day entirely, the way the air smelled of fresh grass and salt water. She smiled, that was the Sawyer she fell in love with the one who wasn't afraid to tell her how sunsets just about made him cry. The Sawyer who wasn't afraid to open up and drop the I'm-a-jackass act for a day.
"Those are really good." A voice from behind said, startling Annie and making her jump slightly. A woman walked in and sat down next to her. "You wouldn't mind if I looked at those would you?" She asked.
"Oh, no you can look at them." Annie said handing the book over to the girl.
"My name's Kate by the way." The girl said holding out her hand for Annie to shake.
"I'm Annie." She said grabbing hold of Kate's hand. Kate flipped through the book taking in every picture.
"These are really good. Did you draw these?" Kate asked admiring a picture of three teenage boys sitting on a street corner.
"Yeah… Back when I lived in San Francisco I used to take pictures. This one I took for a photography class and it was submitted into the Scholastic Photo Awards and it won second place." She explained.
"Wow, so you drew this from a picture you took?" Kate asked awestruck that this girl was so talented. She began to wonder if Sawyer noticed that in her or if he was just using her as basically another doll on the wall.
"Yeah…I was planning on majoring in the fine arts, but well…things happen." She sighed. She was actually planning on opening a studio and giving art lessons.
"So how long have you known Sawyer?" Kate questioned wanting to know if this woman was blind or just plan stupid for being with Sawyer.
"Um…I've known him since I was 16…I think." She responded. "Yeah, I was 16. I had moved to Texas with my aunt. I had moved from Connecticut so the change was pretty drastic. See I used to ride up in Connecticut…but it was mostly show ridding never just for fun. We bought a ranch and brought our two horses with us. Now I decided to take my horse out and basically explore the couple hundred acres we had. So I was out ridding and saw this boy leaning against a fence. It was a classic right out from a western I guess. His hat was covering his eyes…had that classic cowboy stance one foot against the pole hands on hips…" she paused thinking about this somehow made her upset.
"So you've known him for a while…" Kate repeated. She wanted to know more about Sawyer, this sparked an interest in her. She liked hearing these stories about him. She liked to think that he was more then a self-centered redneck and hearing things like this proved her point. She felt herself slowly falling in love with him, though this wasn't the thing that she needed right now. "Has he always been an ass?" Kate questioned attempting to go about this in a bitter somewhat skeptical way.
"No…this is somewhat recent. He's hiding something…" she trailed. She didn't want to be telling this stranger all these things about Sawyer. It's one thing to tell someone personal things about you, but when it's about someone else it's a different thing.
Sawyer was approaching the tent when he saw Kate sitting there.
"Damn it." He thought. He never did like the thought of Kate being near Annie. He knew that Kate would try anything to find out more about him. Even if it meant asking Annie. He ran to the hut.
"Freckles what do you think you're doing?" He yelled, causing both the girls to jump and look at him. He instantly realized what he had done. He had used their same nickname when both of them were sitting together.
"What…?" both girls replied in unison. They both then turned and gave each other the dirtiest and most confused looks.
"Oh shit…." He moaned as he regained his seat at the entrance to the hut. Both girls got up and walked out to him. Annie was the first to say something.
"That her nickname too? Huh? Is she the one you were seeing in Australia? Is she the one you were doing? Huh? Sawyer tell me. I know you're hiding something." Annie yelled. Sawyer just sat there he knew this was going to happen someday.
"Annie…it's not what you think." Sawyer said calmly.
"Sawyer explain to me then what the hell's going on? Why can't you just tell me things? Why must you hide shit from me all the time?" She continued.
"Yeah, Sawyer I have to agree with her. Now I don't give a shit that you called me Freckles. Why the hell did you freakin' kiss me? What do you want from me?" Kate yelled adding to the chaos.
"What? You kiss her? My God Sawyer. Sometimes, sometimes you can be the biggest ass in the world. I don't know why the hell I'm still here with you. I don't know why I ever believed a word that came out of your mouth." Annie yelled on the verge of tears. "I, I just don't know what to think or say anymore Sawyer. That's it I'm leaving…" Annie began to sob as she grabbed all her stuff from the hut and started to leave. Sawyer ran after her grabbing her shoulder and turning her around to face him.
"Annie, you can't leave. You don't know what kind of crap is out there." He said looking into her tear filled eyes. Slowly killing himself over doing this to her.
"Sawyer I'm sick of you. I don't want your lies. I don't know what I want anymore. I'm leaving and that's that." She said as she turned around and quickly walked down the nearest path.
"Annie…" he trailed. He knew that nothing he said at the moment would help bring her back to him. Kate stood next to him and watched as he sat in back down in the chair. He held his head in his hands and she could tell that he was doing everything to keep from crying.
"Sawyer…" Kate began but realized that she couldn't say anything to him.
"Shut up, just shut up. I don't want shit from you." He said in his trademark tone. He lifted his head up and looked at her. "You bitch, always meddling in other peoples personal lives. You just have to know everything don't you? Don't you?" He interrogated. She couldn't help but notice that he was actually crying. Sawyer was actually crying. He truly had feelings.
"Sawyer…."
"Don't give me that Sawyer crap. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear that you're sorry. Because you aren't, I know you aren't and you know you aren't. Just leave you got what you wanted anyway." He said as he put his head back in his hands and continued to cry.
Kate slowly walked away. She didn't believe that she'd actually witnessed Sawyer showing human emotions. Let alone emotions that she had evoked. She began to feel sorry for him because she realized what she'd done. She had just ruined their relationship. She had just proven to Annie what she had feared most about Sawyer. She had also taken the one thing that Sawyer actually loved, the one thing that made Sawyer human. She kicked herself and a new surge of quilt washed over her.
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