A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad you liked Gibbs dancing around and the bit of teasing between the two. I kinda feel the pressure of this chapter because this is a talk they had to have. I'm just not sure how high the expectations are and if this will live up to it. It was difficult to write Gibbs. Hopefully there's some of the Gibbs there that we know from the show and also a new side, Gibbs showing his feelings. This is mostly Gibbs talking to Kate. This chapter is a bit shorter than usual because there's so much information in it. Please R&R 'cause I hope this chapter is good enough for you. As always, ideas and suggestions are welcome. Best wishes for 2005 for everyone!

Chapter ten

Dinner was spend with pleasant conversation. Both avoided personal as well as work related topics. Mostly the conversation was about Kate's family. Kate felt good about herself for the first time since the whole ordeal had begun. They were now sitting on the couch, in front of the fire place, enjoying a glass of wine.

Gibbs observed Kate. The entire evening she'd been relaxed. He decided it was time they talked. He saw no use in beating around the bush and so he didn't. "You're a good agent, Kate. Don't ever doubt that." He saw her tense at his words. "From the moment I saw you sitting on the gurney, being treated by the paramedic, I saw the doubt in your eyes. I didn't say anything, knowing you had to work through it yourself. Every time since, I only have to look in your eyes to see that the doubt is still there. So far I've been quiet, hoping you'd work through it yourself or maybe that you would talk to someone. I've been waiting for you to open up, to let me or someone else in, but you've closed yourself off, Kate. You need to talk about this, otherwise it'll tear you up. You cannot keep doing this. Talk to me, Kate."

His voice was soft, not wanting her to shut him out. He saw her trying to stand up and he quickly grabbed her hand. He gently pulled her down on the couch, he settled himself down closer to her and didn't let go of her hand. She wasn't looking at him, but at their joined hands. When he saw she wasn't talking he continued. "I still trust you, Kate."

With her free hand Kate rubbed her face. Until now she hadn't realized how much she needed to hear those words, not just from anybody, but from him. "How can you? I screwed up, Gibbs. I trusted someone I shouldn't have. You warned me, but I ignored you. I put the team in danger. I could have gotten you killed."

He squeezed her hand. "You didn't." For the first time she looked at him. He clearly saw the pain reflected in her eyes.

"I'm a trained profiler, Gibbs. Apparently not a good one, because I can't figure out when someone's lying to me. What good am I when I can't even do my job?"

"I hired you for your skills. I was impressed by you when we first met. When you stepped back in Air Force One and told me I was no assistant I knew you were a good agent and could be a good investigator. Then you challenged me for the first time and the idea came to mind to offer you a job. I started explaining the basics of crime scene investigating, hoping it would interest you. At the end of the case, I was sure I was going to ask you to join the team, but I wasn't sure you'd take it. You were obviously enjoying the Secret Service and I saw how good you were. I didn't think you would leave that behind. Suddenly your boss tells me you resigned. His loss became my gain. I never once regretted my decision to hire you." He linked his fingers with hers before he continued. "Don't beat yourself up over this. Everybody makes mistakes."

"This wasn't just a little mistake."

"No, it wasn't, but you can't dwell on it." After he said it he saw anger flash through her eyes.

"Gibbs, people got killed because of me. Don't tell me not to dwell on it." Angrily she pushed his hand away and stood up. "I've gotta learn to live with the fact that I killed innocent people."

"Kate." He had to try to calm her down. "You need to get passed this. I don't want you to resign and I know you've been thinking about it."

She immediately turned around, watching him sit on the couch. "Emily told you."

"No, Emily didn't tell me anything." He stood up, but didn't approach her. "She didn't need to tell me. I knew even though you tried so hard to hide it." She turned away from him. He wanted her to look at him so he could see what she was thinking. Her need to keep the distance between him hurt him in a way. He was trying to get her to open up and though she'd said some things, she still chose to hide most of it. If he just knew what. He decided to close the distance between them. He gently placed his hand on her shoulder, persuading her with slight pressure to turn around. As they faced each other, Kate tensed up again, taking a step back, but this time he wouldn't let her. He closed the distance again and whispered. "Stop walking away, Katie. Tell me what you're thinking."

"I think I should quit. I'm no good to you with all these doubts in my mind."

"There's no one I'd rather have watching my back. I want you there by my side, Kate. With you there I don't have to concern myself with a dozen other things. I know I can count on you. I still count on you."

"How can you have so much trust in me when I screwed up big time? I saw the disappointment in your eyes as you stood by the ambulance. Don't deny it, you were disappointed in me. I think you still are."

Now it was his turn to take a step back. She was right, he couldn't deny it. His first reaction was disappointment. He'd tried to warn her, but she'd ignored him. Partly he'd been disappointed in himself. He should have tried to get through to her. After years on the job he didn't trust people that easily anymore. He hadn't trusted Suzanne MacNeill, but Kate had. Kate would never forget the human side of a story. She always thought about the victim or the family. It was a side he, himself, would often forget.

For Kate, Gibbs silence said it all. "You do blame me." She whispered.

He took a step towards her again, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I don't blame you. I admit I was disappointed. As well as in myself as in you. I'd hoped you would have seen through her, but you'd bonded with her. I was disappointed in myself because I should have looked out for you. I let you do your thing, completely forgetting how it could affect you. I realized it too late, I realized it after the explosion. I'm sorry, I should have known better." He let his hands slide from her shoulders down her arms to her hands before he let go. "I have many regrets in my life, Kate, but hiring you is not one of them. It's probably one of the best things I've done in a long time." Though the consequences on his heart had been bigger than expected, yet not unwelcome. "My biggest regret would be if you walked away and I hadn't done everything in my power to make you stay." He sighed, turned around and walked away. "I don't want you to go, but in the end it's your decision. I'm just asking you to really think it through. If you decide to quit, then I won't stand in your way. Goodnight, Kate." He left her standing alone in front of the fire place. He'd showed her more of himself than planned, but he didn't regret it. He just hoped Kate understood he didn't blame her, nor did he want her to leave. Now, it was up to her to make a decision. If she chose to quit he wouldn't stand in her way. He would let her walk out of his life.

TBC.........