Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
By: Tempest
Disclaimer: Unfortunately the StarGate, SG-1, the SGC, and everything else associated with the movie or series doesn't belong to me! I'm just having my demented fun with the kids and promise to return them…mostly in the condition I found them (:-P)! No copyright infringement is intended, so please don't sue me. I'm P.O.R. Poor! (I can't even afford to buy that other 'O'!)
Warnings: If you couldn't tell by the title, yes, it's "another" pesky quantum mirror story. However, this one has a little bit of a twist. I hope you all like it! Oh yes, creative criticism is welcome! However, all flames will be laughed at and then trashed for their general stupidity! Sank ya! ()
Ch 2: Revelations
"Boooooooorrrrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnggggggggggg!" Jack sighed out as she balanced the pen between her two fingers. Her legs propped up on the desk as she looked up into the ceiling of SGC's briefing room.
"For once, I'll agree." Jack grumbled as he rubbed his hand over his face, "What the hell are we waiting for again?"
"We're waiting for your Carter to finish her paliminary report on P3X-998." The other Jack sighed out as she looked at the pen. "This is the part I hate." Jack grimaced; this wasn't his favorite part either. "Mind if I ask you something, Colonel?" She inquired
Jack looked over at his other and shrugged, "Shoot."
"What'd ya think of Danni?" She asked.
:WOOF Jack almost blanched, but managed to stop himself in time. "Mine or yours?" He asked
"Mine." She said
:Damnit…why the hell do I have to talk to myself: He snarled.
"Isn't that kinda personal?" He said carefully.
"Is it?" She asked then smirked, "You forget, I'm the female version of you." She pointed at him with her pen, "And being female…I'm not above asking about feelings." She smirked, "However, you as being male…will protest to having to talk about them!"
:When the HELL did I get so smart: Jack snarled at himself "For cryin' out loud…" He grimaced.
"Answer the question, Colonel." She grinned as she looked at him mischievously.
"As ranking person in this room, I refuse to answer that question." He replied miffed.
"Ha!" She snorted as she pointed a finger at him, "You're not the raking person in this room, I am!" She grinned, "I checked the file, I made Colonel two days before you did!" She stuck her tongue out at him,
"You checked my FILE!" Jack boomed glaring at her.
"Answer the question, Colonel!" she grinned
"How the HELL did you check my file!" He demanded.
She pursed her finger to her lips, "It's a secret, I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you." She grinned. "Ain't special ops for nothing!"
Jack's eyes sobered a bit, "You're….special ops?" He whispered
She shrugged a bit, "Yeah…that's coming as a surprise to everyone, apparently."
Jack suddenly went cold, "Then….they sent you….." The look he got told him more than words could ever tell him. He felt sick, "And…Charlie…." She looked away. "Jesus." He whispered.
"Look…let's just drop it." She said as she looked back at him, "She likes you…ya know." She said as Jack looked up at her.
"Huh…who?" He blinked surprised as the change in topic.
"Danni, my Danni." She smirks, "She's got a thing for older men….something about salt and pepper graying hair." She shrugged.
"Ah." Jack blinked, "That's….nice." Jack was confused….at the rapid fire statements from his counterpart.
"Listen, let's just cut to the chase, shale we?" She asked as she took her feet off the table swung them around and looked Jack square in the eye. "My world is falling apart, Colonel." She said bluntly, "Literally." Her eyes clouded, "I've made mistakes, and people have paid for them. I accept the fact that my choices will sooner or later come to kick me in the butt." She took a breath and looked up at him, "If something happens to me, I want you to promise you'll get Danni to the Alpha site and keep her safe."
Jack blinked, "What the hell do you mean by that?" He asked, his concern suddenly raising up a notch.
"I mean just that." She said, "There has been no stability, no safety where we came from. I just want to know that Danni'll be okay." She smirked a bit as she looked down, "Considering that your SGC isn't lying about you in ruin and a System Lord isn't knocking on your front door literally…you must be doing a pretty good job keeping them away."
"Well…" He smirked a bit, "We do okay."
"But I didn't." She said as Jack looked at the young woman sitting across from the table. Her shoulders were slumped, her eyes were clouded and suddenly she looked…very weary heart and soul. She rubbed her face, "I couldn't get it together enough to keep Aphosis from invading Earth, I couldn't be strong enough to keep the SGC out of enemy hands…" Her fists balled, "Hell I couldn't even….!" She cut off what ever else she was going to say…but Jack knew. I couldn't even keep my own child safe.
Jack knew…as a father, loosing his son was absolutely the most devastating thing that could've happened. But as a mother…bringing the life into the world…then in a way being responsible for it being removed…he figured…it would be harder on her. He knew that it was hard for Sara, but he was too lost in his own guilt and pain to see it. Now, seeing everything she was responsible for…also being destroyed…
Jack looked away, even for him…that could be too much to take. "I'll…" He ventured as she looked up at him. "I'll keep an eye on her for you." He said as he looked over, and then shrugged. "Until we can get you home."
She smiled a bit, "Thank you, Colonel."
He smirked, "Call me Jack."
"Well, that's it." Carter sighed as she looked up at the table, "Any questions."
The female Jack flopped her forehead on her table, "This…SO sucks!" She said as she shook her head, "Why am I not surprised that the planet is under a System Lord's control?" She complained, "God hates me. He really, really HATES me!"
"Well…fortunately it's a minor system lord and there is hardly any Jaffa." Carter pointed out as Jack peeked up from the table to look at Carter. "It's possible we can sneak in and out before they even realize we're there."
"Send in some recon teams?" Daniel asked curiously.
"C'mon, being Special Ops…you love this kinda stuff!" The male Jack smirked, as his female counterpart smirked.
"Like a hole in the head!" She grimaced.
"Janice, don't be difficult." Danni said as the female Colonel blinked and looked over at her Archeologist, as the other woman held up her hand. "Please, I know you don't like it…but it's getting very confusing calling both of you 'Jack' and keeping you separated."
Janice sighed out, "Fine." She shook her head, and rubbed her forehead. Daniel was getting worried…Jack…no Janice…was starting to look worse. He wondered if she had been sleeping alright. She looked tired.
"So how long you think we need in order to get this little party happening?" Jack asked, secretly glad no one had suggested him using 'John'!
"I would suggest that we send in SG-3 to do the recon, see what the patrols are like…if we can determine any patterns." Carter said as she pursed her lips together. "Time may or may not be a factor here. Considering that both of you have been here almost two days with no Cascade effects, your genetic structure might be different enough that it won't be a problem."
"But…." Janice said as she looked at Carter then to Jack, "Carter always has a 'but'!" She smirked.
"No kidding." Jack smirked.
Carter sighed, yep…definitely Colonel O'Neill. "However…" She said using a different term.
"See." Janice said pointing, "Told you."
"But she didn't use 'but'." Jack pointed out
"True…but it's a superlative." Janice countered.
Jack blinked, "No it's not."
"Yes it is." Janice replied.
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Not."
"Too!"
"Colonel's!" Hammond boomed as both Jack and Janice blinked and looked up.
"Sorry, Sir." They said in unison.
Hammond sighed out, "And to think I wanted this command." He muttered. "Major, continue."
"Yes sir." She smirked a bit, "We have to be careful. Just because the effect hasn't started now…doesn't mean that it couldn't start later."
"Peachy." Janice sighed.
Hammond looked at the female Colonel concerned. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was wrong with her. He looked at Carter, "I'll inform SG-3 of the mission plan."
"Greaaaaaaaat." Janice sighed, "Marines."
"Janice." Danni sighed out.
"I know, I know." She waved at her friend.
Hammond looked at the people around his table, and smirked a bit. How Jack LOVED the Marines. "Dismissed." He said as everyone stood up as he looked at Janice. "Colonel." He said as both Jack and Janice looked at Hammond, as he looked at Janice. "I want you to report to the infirmary." He said
"What!" Janice blinked, her blue eyes huge with surprise "Why Sir?"
His eyes clouded, "I want Doctor Frasier to give you a good once over, Colonel."
"But, Sir…I'm fine!" She protested.
Hammond smirked, "I believe that about as much as I've come to believe Doctor Jackson's 'I'm fine's'!"
"Hey!" Daniel protested a bit as Danni smiled a bit then looked over at her friend.
"Sir…" she began, as Hammond held up his hand.
"Please, don't make it an order Colonel." He said as she looked at him, and sighed.
"Yes, Sir." She muttered. Hammond nodded, as he turned and left the room, once he was gone Janice rubbed her face again.
"Fer cryin' out loud! I don't have time for this!" She complained, shaking her head.
"Janice." Danni said as she walked over to her friend, "Please…you should really go." She said worriedly.
"Hey, I don't look THAT bad!" Janice protested dropping her hands to her side as she quirked a wry smile.
"No, you look worse." Jack said as he finally took a good look at her. He saw the dark circles under her eyes, the slight hollowing of her cheeks. She looked like she hadn't ate or slept in weeks…and he knew himself well enough to know that it was probably the case…especially if things were that bad.
"Well, you ain't no ray of sunshine either, Colonel." She snapped back as Jack smirked.
"Ah….sarcasm as a self defense, the well known O'Neill trait." He said as she glared at him, as he grinned at her.
"Hey, don't get all psychological on me, you'll hurt yourself." She snarled her blue eyes narrowing in that 'I'm Special Ops trained, and can kill you in thirty-six different ways' kind of glare.
"Colonel." He said, "Infirmary. Now." He pointed. He was going to have to bully himself…how typical.
"Yes, SIR!" She snapped to attention and angrily saluted him, "Colonel, SIR!" She hissed her eyes blazing angrily as she performed a crisp about face…and took two steps…and before anyone could prevent it….she swayed a bit then stumbled to the ground taking a tray of glasses with her.
"Janice!" Danni cried out, and instantly Daniel was at her side, as he pressed his fingers into the side of her neck, then suddenly she came back to herself.
"Ugh!" She blinked and started to push herself off the floor, "I'm fine! I'm fine!" She protested weakly.
"No, you're not fine!" Daniel said sharply as he held her shoulder. Preventing her from sitting up as he looked up at Jack, who was already on the phone with Janet. "You're going to see Janet." He said looking back down at her.
"I don't have time…." She said and suddenly Daniel gripped her chin and forced her to look at him. He hated manhandling a woman, but…Damnit! She wasn't going to give him any other options!
"You HAVE time!" He hissed, "You're not going to do anyone any good like this!" Then suddenly his eyes softened, "Please?"
Janice looked into his eyes then defeated she simply let herself back down slowly, and curled in on herself a little bit, exhaustion having took it's toll on her. She didn't have the strength to fight anymore…she was fatigued both physically and mentally. The whole sight of her….tore at Daniel's heart.
"So…what's the verdict, Doc?" Jack asked curiously as Janet sighed.
"She's a mess, Colonel." Janet shook her head, "Borderline malnutrition, sleep depravation, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, she's been keeping herself together on Caffeine, and adrenaline." Her eyes clouded "I didn't see this before, and I should have."
"Don't blame yourself, Janet." Daniel said, "She did a pretty good job at fooling us all that she was alright."
Jack shook his head, "How typical." He never knew when to quite, did he? Then he looked at Frasier, "So…what'd we do?"
Janet sighed, "Right now she needs rest and food. I'm worried that she also might be developing an ulcer since her diet's been…really bad." She smirked as warm brown eyes turned to look at Daniel, "She's been drinking more coffee than you."
Daniel blinked a bit, as Jack nodded, "When's the last time she slept?"
"She told me about she caught a few hours about 36 hours ago, but…" She shrugged.
"You don't believe her." Daniel said as Janet shook her head.
"Colonel, she needs to get out of the Mountain." She said, "She won't sleep here, there are too many things that remind her…"
"Triggers for PTSS." Jack said as Janet nodded.
"She could stay with me." Daniel found himself speaking before he really though and both Janet and Jack looked at him in surprised.
"Well…she could stay at my apartment. It's close by…and relatively quiet…." He said in a rush. Why in the HELL did he open his mouth?
"Actually, I'm inclined to agree with Daniel." Janet said, "Right now she's walking a thin line." Her eyes clouded, "She's a strong woman, Colonel…but everyone has their breaking point. I'm surprised she's managed to last this long."
Jack looked to his friend, "Daniel, you up for handling this?" He asked curiously a bit surprised…yet not at his friends offer.
Daniel looked up at Jack, "She…she needs help Jack." He said his eyes clouded, "Danni admitted that they rely on her more than they should."
Jack frowned, if that was true…no wonder she was in such a state. Putting added pressure on her…making her seem like she had to take on the weight of the world, and the price of failure…
Jack nodded, "Get her well, Danny." He said as Daniel nodded at him.
Janice sighed a little and the first thing she noticed…she was warm…comfy. There was no scratchy wool blanket pricking at her skin, a soft mattress beneath her. She smiled a little as she slowly opened her eyes…her mind foggy. She recognized the roof, she was at Danni's. She smirked…they must've gone out and done Jell-o shots again.
Janice chuckled a bit as she pushed back the blankets, moaning a bit her world spinning. It wasn't right that Danni had given her the bed…she shouldn't have gotten so plastered. Willing her body up she looked out the window, it was light outside…maybe she could convince her to swap…it was only right. She stumbled to the door…swaying a bit….:Damn! Must've drunk…WAY too much:
She opened the door, and shielded her eyes from the harsh light. "Arugh!" She groaned, "Danni!" She said as she closed her eyes covering her face with her hands "Have you no sympathy for the hungover!"
"Janice!" A voice said and suddenly she felt strong arms around her, startled she jerked up to see a pair of blue eyes filled with concern and worry. Suddenly her memories crashed into her.
"Doctor Jackson!" She gasped out, then her jell-o keens gave way, just by instinct she latched onto Daniel. But Daniel was at an awkward angle and before either of them realized it they were going down. Janice responded automatically as she twisted her body so that Daniel landed a top of her…preventing him injury.
"Ooooof!" Janice felt the breath being knocked out of her as she collided onto the hard ground.
"God!" Daniel gasped out as he scrambled onto his hands and knees, hovering over her "Janice!" He said his hands on her shoulders, "Janice!"
"God…don't yell!" She whispered as she slowly opened her eyes and looked up at the panicked face, the world was still moving.
Their eyes locked…each gazing into the others, Daniel felt the heat creep into his face, his mouth went dry, his heart spasmed…seeing Janice beneath him…her hair spilled out all around her as she blinked up at him almost….innocently. He felt desire spread through him like wildfire…and angrily berated himself for it.
"I'm sorry." He whispered, not just for falling on top of her but for the feelings it was creating within him even now! Swallowing hard he continued "Are you…alright?"
She coughed a bit, "Just got the wind knocked out of me." She said then looked up at him with a wry smile, "You're no lightweight, Doctor Jackson!" She teased a bit as Danile relaxed a little as she looked around a bit "Whe…where am I?"
"My apartment." He said gently as her eyes widened.
"What!" She gasp, her eyes wide "Why!"
Daniel winced, "J…Janet said she wanted you out of the mountain for a while." He said rushed…oh, God…this could be bad! "She wanted someplace that wouldn't…." He stopped…his mind racing trying to think of how to phrase it without…
"Trigger PTSS." Janice said as her eyes clouded as she sighed out and closed her eyes, "I guess…it was too much to hope that she wouldn't notice." She whispered as Daniel's eyes clouded.
"You knew?" He asked as she nodded, opening her eyes to look at him.
"My Janet diagnosed me with that a couple of weeks ago, but…" She shrugged a bit, "Were kinda in the middle of a war at the time." She smirked a bit, "Couldn't really do anything about it."
Daniel looked at her, "She also said that you haven't been eating or sleeping either." Janice sighed as she rubbed her face, "How long?" He whispered.
She smiled as she removed her hand and looked up at him, "Long enough for it to catch up with me, I guess."
Daniel closed his eyes and swallowed hard for a moment the looked back at her. No one saw it…she was literally wasting away before their eyes and it took her actually to collapse in front of them to realize just how bad off she was. He felt guilty… "You didn't…hit your head or anything?" He asked worriedly as he slowly helped her sit up.
"No." She said as she rose….blinking a bit…her world still spinning. "Lemme guess, Fraiser gave me a 'go to sleep' cocktail?"
Daniel chuckled a bit, "Something like that." He said, as she shook her head.
"Whoa…this is some strong stuff!" She said as she placed her hand on the floor, triyng to stop her body swaying. As she held her forehead with her fingers, suddenly she felt strong arm scooping her up. Instinctively she latched her arms around as she felt herself being picked up. By instinct she held tightly, her face in the crook of Daniel's neck. How long has it been since she was lying in someone else's arms? Feeling the underline strength outside her own supporting her? For one moment, she allowed herself to take in the feeling, closing her eyes. Breathing in deeply….a new, familiar sent. Daniel's sent…
Gently he settled her down on the sofa, as she released him reluctantly, easing back into the plush cushions as she opened her eyes as he covered her with a thick blanket. She smiled a bit, "Keep this up, and you'll spoil my tough as nails, Special Ops, bad ass, Colonel Reputation." She warned in light voice.
Daniel smiled a bit down at her, "I think I can keep a secret." He said as she chuckled, making a face at him. "You hungry?" She was about to say 'no' automatically when her stomach gave a loud gurgling sound.
She flushed with embarrassment as she looked down, "Quite, you!" she scolded to the little traitor!
Daniel had to laugh, "I'll take that as a yes." He said as she looked up at him sheepishly.
"Well…maybe just a little." She admitted, blinking owlishly up at him.
"Your timing's perfect, I just finished getting lunch together." He said as he stood up.
"Food! Goodie!" She said as she started to sit up, "I'll help….."
"No." Daniel said as he placed a hand on her shoulder and pushed her back down onto the couch as she blinked up at him. "Doc Frasier's orders, you are to rest and eat. That's all until the mission."
"But…I…" She protested as Daniel looked at her pained.
"You're not going to do anything that'll get me in trouble with Janet, are you?" He asked worriedly, "She's vicious when she wants to be!" He gave her the sad puppy dog eye routine, it worked on Jack sometimes…it was fighting dirty but Janice was a stubborn woman!
Janice's eyes clouded, "Fine." She said then looked up at him stubbornly, "But ONLY because I don't want Frasier mad at you, understand?"
"Perfectly." He smiled as he rose and walked into the kitchen, gathering the soup and sandwiches together. Janet had said plain foods, due to the face that Janice's system was on it's way to being trashed, anything else for the time being would reek havoc on her.
"So, are the jammies curiosity of the SGC?" Janice asked looking down at the white scrubs she wore.
Daniel smiled, "Only the best for the Air Force." He called back.
"Figures." She muttered, "Where's my uniform?"
"Getting cleaned." He said as he rolled his eyes a bit, she was going to go into command mode soon. Next she'll be asking about Danni…
"What about Danni? Is she alright?"
Bingo.
"She's fine." He said as he grabbed the tray, "She's working with Carter mapping out your Alpha site from the MALP telemetry." He walked into the other room as he looked at her, her brow furrowed in concentration.
"I should be there working with Carter." She said, "Danni doesn't know the area as well as I do. Hell! I practically set up the Alpha site….!"
Daniel had walked over to the sofa and set down the tray he turned around and gently but firmly placed a hand on her shoulder "Stop!" He ordered, his tone light but commanding as she blinked up at him. "Danni's doing alright, you can review what she told us later. Winding yourself up like this is what got you into this condition in the first place." He smiled a little, "She'll be alright. Just…concentrate on getting better, okay?"
Janice just looked at him in awe…like she had never heard anyone speak like that to her before. Despite herself she leaned back a bit and looked over, "But someone's with her, right?"
Daniel smirked, The O'Neill protectiveness towards the errant Archeologist. "Jack's on the base, and when he leaves Teal'c'll be there to keep an eye on her." He assured her, he looked over…his eyes clouded with concern.
Her eyes were dull, her expression lost… "Good." She said softly, "She…she doesn't like being alone." Absently Janice rolled on her side, and curled into a tighter ball. "Which…makes absolutely no sense to me!" She laughed a bit, though it sounded force "I mean…all the woman does is work in her lab with her artifacts all around her!" She smiled, but it was pained, "She's more at home in a library than working for the military…."
"Janice…" Daniel whispered hearing more pain in her voice that he would've like to have heard.
"I mean, seriously! I can't turn my back for five minutes before she's getting carried off, causing trouble or getting….hurt…" She stumbled on the last, swallowing hard.
"Janice, you need to stop." Daniel said softly as he was really worried, hesitantly he reached out and smoothed back the hair form her face.
She closed her eyes, "I failed Daniel." She whispered miserably, "I can't believe I failed so miserably!" She felt the tears in her eyes knotting her throat, she was a Air Force, Special Ops Colonel, they didn't cry!
"Janice, you didn't fail." Daniel said.
"You can't say that I didn't!" She said as her eyes opened, shooting her eyes to lock with his. "Earth's GONE! The SGC is GONE, because I couldn't get it together enough to keep it together!"
"You can't be expected…"
"I should!" She flared as she lurched up as he blinked startled by her reaction, "I was giving responsibilities! AND I FAILED!" She said angrily, shoving her fist into the middle of her chest. "Everything in my life, I've FAILED! MISERABLY!"
"Janice!" Daniel gripped her shoulder, "STOP!" He ordered as he locked eyes with her "I mean it! Stop it! Stop doing this to yourself! Stop blaming yourself! You did EVERYTHING you could!"
"And it still….wasn't enough!" She whispered her lip quivering as she bowed her head, "God, I'm so pathetic!"
"No….." He whispered as he gathered her to him, stroking her hair, "No…you're just…human." He whispered. He felt her stiffening, felt her pulling back… "Please." He said, "Let it go." He stroked her hair, "Just….let it go."
Hesitantly he felt arms surrounding him…then he felt the moment she did. The sobs that arched through her body were born of pure misery…and pain. Self doubts, self loathing…and things that Daniel knew only too well as his tears lumped in his throat as he felt her pain through her shaking form. "I….I've got you." He whispered rocking her like a small child. "It's alright…. I've got you."
Janice eventually cried herself to sleep on Daniel's shoulder. He thought about moving her back into the bed room, and then opted just to tuck her back in on the sofa. He had looked to lunch…and set it aside. He'd lost his own appetite; he moved into his office and tried to work…but only succeeded staring at the computer screen in front of him. The conversation with Danni coming all too readily into his mind…
Danni wrapped her fingers around her cup and looked down. "Jack's father wanted a boy…she was supposed to have been a boy, all the doctor's said she would be." She looked up from over her wire frames with a wan smile, "You can guess at the surprised when she was a she."
Apparently, Janice's father wasn't forgiving. He also remembered Danni telling him that her family never forgave her after Iraq…and her daughter. Like someone being born female was all her fault! Daniel's eyes furrowed, he was suddenly angry at this nameless man whom he didn't know. Then he realized that Janice had no real support. Of course, she had SG-1…but… Danni had said that they leaned on her more than they should've. Depended on her more…how would that make someone like Janice feel? Seeing that people depended on her…having no real support base…knowing that her decisions could and would cost the lives of her teams….all the while underneath… having the festering nagging idea that she was…..not enough.
Daniel's heart went cold…and he felt himself pale. My God…she would…she would take everything in like she had been…blaming herself…thinking that everything that was happening was because she wasn't….good enough! Sure, people make mistakes…it's a part of living…learning…but for someone like Janice. Mistakes were unacceptable…and if they're caused…they were her fault and hers alone…because she wasn't good enough to make the right decision!
:GOD Daniel thought anguished :How can someone live like that for so long: Before he realized what he was doing…he was on his feet and making his way into the living room. His breathing in short gasps as he looked down at the young woman lying on his sofa.
Even in her sleep, she couldn't erase the pain etched into her face…the worn lines of worry…she clutched to the blankets in a vain attempt to hold onto something…anything that could provide stability. The one thing she hadn't ever really had…in her life….
"I feel you thinking." Janice's voice whispered softly, as she cracked open one eye slowly as she looked up at Daniel's shocked…embarrassed face.
"I….. How'd….." He stammered
"Special Ops sixth sense." She whispered, "Even while completely drugged out and plastered you know when someone's close to you." Slowly she raised herself up as Daniel sat on the cushions by her legs.
"You shouldn't…" He said as she shook her head.
"I can't just stay drugged out on your sofa all the time." She said as her long fingers brushed the bridge of her nose as she looked up and smirked a bit. "Girl's gotta eat, y'know." Right, she didn't have lunch…well neither did he really…as his stomach protested as did hers earlier. He flushed as she smirked, "Hungry?"
He smiled, "A little." He admitted, "Soup and She almost purred.
"No. No coffee." He said folding his arms across his chest giving her a stern look.
"You're mean." She pouted a bit, as Daniel smiled a little. The sleep really did her good, she was looking much better. However, she had fooled them once…
Moments later Daniel and Janice were sitting at his kitchen table with soup and sandwich in hand. He watched her as she went after the food like a starving woman, his eyes clouded…she really HADDN'T been eating!
"Wanna know what would make this great?" She asked suddenly looking up as Daniel blinked in surprise.
"Uh…what?" He said, as he took a drink of water
"Cold Stone." She said huskily. "Oh…the better than sex chocolate and peanut butter confection…..!"
Daniel about spit out his water as his cheeks flamed as he looked up at her… "They don't have anything called that!" Now normally….speaking of ice cream wouldn't have caused such a reaction but something in her voice….the way it lowered just a bit….the way it got huskier…the way it seemed to caress….burned into Daniel and seemed to shoot like electricity right into Daniel's groin.
Janice, seemingly oblivious to what she had done to Daniel, grinned, "No…that's what I call it!" She said as she took another bit of her sandwich eyeing Daniel curiously, "Hey….it's been awhile…OKAY!" She narrowed her eyes a bit, "From your reaction it's been a while for you too!" She smirked.
If it were any more possible Daniel's face flamed as he looked away, "That's none of your…." He began all defensive as she held up her hand.
"Wait, wait…I'm sorry." She said as he looked as her as she sighed, as she shook her head. "It's just…" She looked around, pain in her eyes. "I look around…and I see everything's so familiar…" She looked at him, "I look at you…and you're familiar to me…yet your not." Her eyes clouded, "I just forget that you're not….my Danni." She explained lamely.
Daniel's eyes looked to her as she looked down. He understood…more than she realized. She was Jack…so familiar, so annoying, so caring…at the same time she wasn't. He felt safe around Jack….but he also felt safe around her too. They had a strange….familiarity…and yet… he took a breath, and drank more water. Yet…she was doing something to him…this person…this woman that was Jack and yet not. His brain began to hurt again.
"Daniel?" Her voice made him look up, as he found himself gazing into eyes that were familiar…yet not. "You okay?"
"I'm fine." He said, as she shot him a look, "No! Really!" He said, Damn!
"Riiiiiight." She smirked, "I heard you thinking out there and now I'm hearing you think in here." She looked at him calculatingly "So fess up."
"N-Nothing!" He squeaked, held captive by those blue eyes.
"My ass!" She snorted.
"Language!" He protested, "Ladies shouldn't use language like that!" He said automatically.
"Ladies?" She said narrowing her eyes, "I'm a Special Ops Air Force Colonel! I ain't no Lady!"
"Yes you are." He said softly, looking into her eyes…his own softening, holding her form…cradling her with his eyes. Yes, she was Special Ops. Yes, she was an Air Force Colonel. Yes, she had seen hell…that much he knew. But everything else about her…was soft, warm, understanding, and her eyes…those eyes that captivated him… "A very beautiful lady." He whispered.
She looked at him, with incredibly wide blue eyes her whole face lined with shock and disbelief. "I'm…beautiful?" She blinked at him, her own voice barely a whisper.
Daniel's eyes widened and immediately shot down to the half eaten sandwich in front of him. He damned himself for not thinking before he spoke, Jack must've been channeling through him! "Well….I…." Daniel swallowed hard.
:Great going, Jackson He screamed at himself, his heart pounding so hard he was almost sure Janice could hear it :Let's see you talk your way out of THIS one: Suddenly he felt a light pressure under his chin, startled he jerked his head up…his eyes widening. He hadn't heard her move, yet there was Janice standing next to his chair, unconsciously Daniel had pushed back a bit from the table as he looked up at her. Her dark blond hair, cascading over her shoulders, the florescent lighting reflecting off the pristine white of the medical scrubs she wore giving her a soft halo of sorts.
"Daniel…" She said very softly, very carefully, "…do you fine me…attractive?"
"Uh…." Was the first words out of Daniel's mouth…so much for the Linguistic skills! He swallowed hard, "Well….I…" He had to swallow again, "That is…I mean…!" He was beginning to panic.
She smiled wanly "That is Jacksonise for 'yes'." She said as he blushed furiously, slowly she lowered her face down so that hers was even for his. "Because…I have to say, you are a very attractive man, Daniel Jackson." She breathed.
"M-Me?" He squeaked as she nodded and smirked.
"Half the SGC of your world here is practically lusting after you. Even though I've been drugged, shot and strung out on caffeine…I'm not particularly obtuse when it comes to seeing convert gazes from females." She chuckled a bit, "You, much like my own Danni, seem to sometimes be oblivious to the attentions you draw."
Daniel frowned, "I'm not naive!" He flustered a bit.
"I didn't say you were." She said as he looked away, she smiled a little. "Not comfortable in your own skin, Doctor Jackson?" She said curiously as he blinked up at her…and froze as one hand slowly reached out….and cupped the side of his face. "Afraid of touching…of feeling, aren't you?"
Daniel gasped in quickly, his eyes haunted…how the hell did she know…:She's Jack…that's why she knows.: Daniel's brain told him. He felt his eyes flutter close for a moment…and before he realized it…he was stroking his cheek into the curve of her palm…desire…contact…warmth….safety…all within that one moment, his eyes flew opened when he felt another hand cup the other side of his face…a tender smile on Janice's lips. "I know how that feels." She whispered as she slowly leaned into him, "Because…I've felt it too." Her breath caressing his lips as she closed the distance, and slowly gentle lips captured his own.
Electricity surged through Daniel as he felt all of his skin tingling from the tips of his hair down to his toes…and then slowly…the spark settled in the pit of his stomach…changing…churning…to want….to a deep need. There were so many reasons why this was wrong on SO many different levels…but Daniel's mind had become mush…all that he could do now was feel...
Slowly he felt those warm lips retreat; he blinked his eyes open and looked at the woman before him. She smiled her thumb stroking his cheek softly, "What do you want, Daniel?" She breathed curiously.
Daniel unconsciously licked his lips what did he want? He wanted what the universe never allowed him to have. He wanted to be happy, he wanted a life, he wanted, as sappy as it sounded, to finally love someone and have them love him in return and not be taken away so that all he was left with was the pain, memories, and unbearable loneliness left in it's wake….
"Loneliness…" He heard himself say as he gazed into those blue eyes, "I…don't want to be lonely anymore." The need he felt began to grow more and more, spreading from his stomach…moving up to the ache in his heart…in his soul…how bare he felt before this woman he knew…and hardly knew. "I…" He swallowed hard, then gasped out as Janice straddled his legs settling herself down a top of him…and suddenly the universe clamped down.
Immediately the blood rushed from his brain to the now hard erection cradled between her legs…he gasped out and lurched forward as her arms caught him his eyes wide as he pressed his cheek into her shoulder panting…his arms winding around her…trembling…needing…aching… "Oh God…" He panted, as his body made stubble movements craving the friction followed by a stream of "Oh God, I'm sorry…ohGodohGodohGod…!" As he lifted his face up his whole expression a silent plea…
Janice took his lips again…this time more passionate; she claimed his lips….her tongue brushing against his…seeking entry which Daniel yielded to readily…her tongue snaking in…stroking over his…tasting him…exploring him her body moving…creating the friction he so desperately needed.
When he though he couldn't take anymore…she pulled back leaving him quaking…gasping for breath, his lips swollen his eyes glazed his whole body quivering with need and desire he looked up at her as rubbed her cheek against his slowly…sensually "Bed…?" She asked huskily and before Daniel could answer…she was off him as he sobbed out bereft of the contact as she pulled him up with her…guiding him back into his bed room…kissing him….pulling at his clothing all the way….as Daniel's hand trembled as he worked at hers…
With a satisfy kick of the door shut…they flopped down into a tangle of arms and legs on Daniel's bed….Daniel's pants being the only thing left on him and the scrub top on Janice. She pulled herself up….hovering over him for a moment….kissing him deeply as nimble fingers unbuttoned the jeans in one motion…..pulling the flaps apart with one hand and slowly….she eased her hand into his pants, under the waist line of his underwear and over his rock hard erection.
"GOD!" Daniel tore his lips from her gasping out arching his back off the bed…he was so sensitive...too sensitive! He could already feel himself weeping…the familiar building of pressure…he closed his eyes and swallowed hard fighting for control. How the hell did she do this to him! One moment they were sitting across from the table…then next…..
Daniel cried out again…he hadn't even realized that she had divested him of the rest of his clothing, and her hand was stroking him in a slow torture. Silken fingers cupped him gently, easing down and up…slowly… gently. Each caress made his shaft ache as Daniel mewled a bit, surprised and a bit horrified at the sounds she was electing from him. Then long fingers surrounded him….he gasped out at he felt himself throb painfully in the cradle of her fingers…
Damn sneaky special ops colonels! Well…two could play at this game! He would prove that he wasn't as passive as everyone thought he was! He surprised her by flipping her over so that she was on her back…body pressing up against her…as she arched up to model to him his lips kissing the hinge of her jaw frantically…his hand coming up to cup on of her breasts….
He felt her tense…and immediately froze pulling back looking at her with concern "Janice?" He whispered….his voice thick with passion…but worry as well.
Janice swallowed and smiled, "Sorry." She apologized, "It's just….been a while." She explained.
"How long?" Daniel asked…somehow he knew…his mouth went dry…but for some reason…he needed to hear it from her.
"Just….a while." She said as she looked up at him, her eyes clouded.
"Janice….please?" He whispered one hand touching her face.
He saw her crumble a bit, as she swallowed hard and closed her eyes. "Since Iraq." Her voice barely audible, "Seven years ago."
Daniel's eyes widened….since Iraq! That means…..since…. "Janice?" He was really worried now.
"Please….Daniel…" She whispered as she opened her eyes and looked up at him pained, "Don't make me explain, I'm not sure I could even if wanted to." Her hands smoothed up his shoulders to take his face within them as she gazed up at him "I just feel….safe, with you." She said "For the first time since." Her eyes clouded. "Can that…be enough?"
Daniel swallowed hard as he lowered himself down and hugged her tightly, blinking back the emotion that threatened to swallow him whole. "It's enough." He whispered as he pulled back and leaned down…kissing her deeply as his hand moved up to her shoulder….caressing her….her face…slowing the pace down…for her benefit. His hands slid over her body….as he kissed her lips….her eyes….her jaw….everywhere he could …
Suddenly he felt a push…immediately he drew back blinking as Janice sat up and in one motion pulled of the scrub top and then latched herself onto Daniel….devouring his lips…as her body rubbed up against him. Daniel looked up at her and felt such a rush of emotions. He was certainly aroused, his erection standing at attention could attest to that, but he also felt complete trust and even love for the woman above him. He lay there, naked, vulnerable, and realized what he wanted. He looked up at Janice and finally found his voice, "Let me make love to you, Janice." He breathed.
That made her draw up to look at him intently, the impact of the words he could see the struggle in her eyes, the thinnest thread of hope and the overwhelming despair as she tries not to. "Please…" He whispered as both hand came up to cup to face handling her with the greatest of care, unsure of where this emotion came from or why but now he knew "Janice I…." He looked up at her "I love you." His eyes clouded, "Please…let me show you…"
Slowly she reached up and touched Daniel's face, stroking the rough skin and tracing her fingers across his impossibly kissable lips, slowly she nodded once and leaned down to kiss him deeply again. His tongue darted in and out of her mouth tentatively. She couldn't help but moan as electric heat pulsed around her core with every teasing lick. Slowly he eased her over, gently laid her down into her back stroking her face her hair….as he worked his mouth down over her sensitized skin nipping and sucking…the urgency pulsing in his eyes and low in his abdomen…
He moved down to place a tender kiss on the hollow of her hip, she bit her lip as her eyes fluttered shut. Daniel smiled, he had no idea that she could be this sensitive…sensual…seeing her face and knowing that it was him giving her this pleasure, it was more than just a turn on!
He lowered his head back down as the a strong sent invaded his nostrils, sweat, musky….her sent…it overwhelmed him… "God, Janice…" He moaned a bit, his voice husky with arousal.
He couldn't help but dip his head to taste her, nuzzling into the bush of dark blond curls. Janice gasped out; her eyes flew open as the flat of her hand slamming down onto the bed then gripped the sheets in a knuckle white grasp as Daniel's tongue swirled around her throbbing bud. Keeping a steady but slow rhythm as he tongued her, Daniel traced down from the tender flesh to her opening with his finger, stopping his ministrations briefly to dip his finger into her wetness.
That alone almost sent Janice over the edge then Daniel re-took his place between her open thighs and continued to tongue her with great skill and tenderness. Licking the little nub, rolling it over his tongue… Janice moaned and arched against him her breaths little more than pants, all language gone from her mind and replaced only with sensation.
Janice's breath quickened and Daniel could feel the muscle around his finger tightening. He eased his thumb inside her and began to slide it in and out. He added a finger and collected some of her moisture then, while keeping his rhythm steady, as Daniel continued his laving and thrusting, tongue, fingers and thumb keeping her just on the edge of the abyss, praying for release and praying for it never to end.
A twist of Daniel's finger, a suckle on her flesh and Janice began to tumble, holding on to bed as if her life depended on it, digging her nails into the fabric and crying out. Daniel slowed his rhythm, feeling her body gripping around his fingers and thumb, feeling her throbbing as she came, hard. Gradually the orgasm flowed away and Janice relaxed…her body boneless…
Daniel climbed up her body between her open legs and held her, kissing her passionately, his own body trembling with need and desire, his hands shaking as they stroked her face and neck. Wordlessly Janice's hand worked their way between them and positioned Daniel at her moist entrance. Daniel gasped out and bit his lip, God he was so hard…he could come from her touching him alone! He drew his face back up to look at her as his eyes locked with her…and she smiled to him. "Love me, please…Daniel." She breathed… Daniel was finished with that one simply plea….
As he entered her, she cried out Daniel's name and hitched up her legs to wrap them around him. He rocked inside her, slow and steady, kissing her face and neck making her cry and moan with pleasure. Daniel was strong and tender all at the same time, holding her…kissing her desperately as she rocked her body up to meet Daniel's every thrust as Daniel made love to her slowly…tenderly…as if she was the greatest treasure in his world….Janice cried out and arched as he hit an unexpectedly sensitive spot deep within her that made her world crash down around her…and that pushed Daniel over the edge.
His pace quickened as he tilted a bit making sure he hit that spot over and over again, causing Janice to buck and loose control. Her head thrashed about as she gripped Daniel's shoulder and suddenly her eyes flashed open and locked with his as she arched off the bed screaming his name. Daniel lost it…He arched with her as he felt her muscle tightening almost painfully around him drawing him out as he pulsed and throbbed over and over and over spilling waves into her as she seemed to draw it out of him…he though he would never stop….
Then slowly…the pulsing slowly…the pressure eased….he felt her muscles relax…felt him relax too…he was panting as he gently lowered himself a top of her feeling her body shiver at the contact he began to push up a bit but arms caught him.
"Stay…" Came the whispered plea, and tears knotted his throat as he lowered himself back down his arms encircling her.
"Forever…" He whispered, no more words were necessary.
Weeks later, and they were ready…well some were. Janice found herself in the bathroom currently throwing up the horrible breakfast she had this morning.
"Oh…God!" She groaned as she flushed the toilet, not what she needed right now! To have some kind of stupid stomach flu grounding her from the mission! She sat back in the stall to collect her thought a bit, her mind drifting to the one thing that always made her smile…Daniel.
They had only made love once, but it had been….wonderful? Magical? Earth shattering? There just wasn't a word to describe it…nor what she felt for him. She loved him…heart and soul. Her eyes clouded a bit…they had been called back to the SGC the next day and had been there ever since. Not that she was complaining…much. But her heart ached…what would happen after the mission? She covered her face with her hands as tears knotted in her throat…she'd have to stay at the Alpha site. She knew that…
"Damnit!" She hit her fist against the stall wall, angrily blinking back tears. She was feeling like crap and was becoming emotional because of it. "I don't NEED this shit right now!" She snarled as herself as she pushed herself up off the floor and went to the skin splashing cool water onto her face as she looked at her reflection. "Get it together Colonel!" She ordered herself angrily, "They need you!" But she needed Daniel…she crumbled as she bowed her head…willing the tears not to flow.
Jack listened to Carter explain the pre-mission briefing. It was simply really, the planet had less than a skeleton guard…nothing major. And Jaffa patrols were weekly at best…blah, blah, have asked for an easier infiltration assignment. Piece 'o cake! No…he wasn't worried about the mission…what had him worried was sitting across the table from him.
Janice looked at Carter, listening to the intel…and she looked…not bad…but not good either. There was something haunting her eyes…there was something not quite right, and Jack doubted that it had anything to do with PTSS. His eyes glanced over at he looked over at Daniel…Daniel was listening but his eyes were intently on Janice. Eyes that clouded over…his posture tense…Daniel was like an open book to Jack, and Jack knew how to read him. Daniel was worried…and that in turn made Jack worry.
"Thank you, Major." Hammond said as Jack turned his attention toward the General as he looked up. "SG-1…you have a go."
"Thank you, Sir." Jack said and looked around. "Alright kids, get geared up and ready to go at 1600."
"Sir." Carter said as she nodded briskly, Janice and Danni stood up as did Daniel he moved to Janice.
"Daniel!" Jack called out to his friend, as Daniel blinked and looked at Jack. "Can I have a word with you?" Janice and Danni looked up at the Colonel.
Daniel looked at him confused, "Jack, I…"
"Now. Daniel….please?" He asked looking concerned at his friend, Janice looked confused for a moment when Danni spoke up.
"Daniel, we'll be in your office, okay?" She smiled, "Janice can help me finish that last translation."
"O-Okay…" Daniel said as Janice looked at him and smiled a little.
"Catch ya Later, Doc." She waved a bit and walked out behind her friend.
Jack waited till they both left and walked over to Daniel, "Come with me." He said as he walked past Daniel.
"Where to?" Daniel asked confused.
"My office." Jack said
Daniel was confused bit he followed Jack down to his office as Jack opened the door and Daniel stepped inside he closed the door again and leaned heavily against his rubbing his face. "You did it again, didn't you?"
Daniel turned to his friend and blinked. "What?" He asked confused.
Jack looked up at him, "You fell in love again!" Jack accused pointing his finger at him, "With ME no less!"
Daniel's jaw dropped and from the flush from his face that covered every inch of exposed skin, Jack knew he hit the mark. "Wha-What in the HELL are you talking about, Jack!" Daniel snapped.
"Cut the crap, Danny." Jack sighed shaking his head, "You're in love with Janice! It's written all over you!"
Daniel fidgeted a bit he didn't know to do, what he could say. It was true, he had fallen for Janice…and fallen hard. He looked down feeling ashamed and exposed, his arms wrapped around his chest in a familiar defense to Jack.
"Daniel…" Jack said softly, "You know…she can't stay."
"I know that!" Daniel snapped angrily as he looked up at Jack, "God! You don't think I don't know that PAINFULLY well, Jack!"
"Then, why Daniel?" He asked.
"I don't know!" Daniel cried frustrated holding out his hands in front of him "I see her….I see you…but she's not you, Jack! She's….she's different!"
"Different?" Jack asked curiously, and then smirked a bit. "Yeah, she's female for one…"
"No!" Daniel snarled frustrated again "She's…. there's more to it that her being female Jack!" He said as he shook his head "I look at her and I see…me." He explained inadequately, "I see…her pain…her fear…everything that she is and everything that she could be!" He looked up at Jack desperately, "She's not like you Jack, she never had the support that you had! She's…" His eyes clouded, "She's not a Special Ops Colonel, she's not like you." He tried to explain inadequately.
Jack smirked, "Didn't have to convince me of that." Jack said shaking his head, "Don't get me wrong, she's a damn fine officer…" His voice trailed off "But she should have never been special ops…she should have never been sent…" He bit off what ever else he was going to say as he turned, anger darkening his eyes. "And if I ever meet that bastard father of hers…!"
Daniel blinked his eyes wide "You…know?"
Jack smirked a bit, "Danni and I talked a bit." He shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked up at Daniel, his brown eyes clouded "I'm just…" He shrugged a bit, Jack was never good with talking about feelings.
Daniel closed his eyes for a moment, his heart breaking. "I know she can't stay Jack." He said evenly as he opened them up a bit and smiled sadly. "While, I'm not happy with that fact, and think it's down right shitty, I'm just…glad….I was able to know her…even if it was just for a little bit."
Jack looked at his friend "You…okay with that?"
Daniel shrugged, "I'm going to have to be. There just isn't another option."
"I wish there was…" Jack offered as Daniel bowed his head a bit swallowing down the tears.
"Yeah, me to."
"You LOVE him!" Danni said as she pointed her finger at Janice.
"Jesus, Danni! Can you keep it down!" Janice snarled looking around, as she ushered Danni into Daniel's office and quickly closed the door. "I would rather not have the entire SGC knowing about my personal life, OKAY!"
"Jack…!" Danni began angrily
"Don't 'Jack' me!" Janice hissed, "I'm a grown woman and my life is my own to screw up with impossible relationships, thank YOU very much!"
"But Jack….he's ME!" She squeaked a bit blinking at her friend.
"Ah!" She held up her finger, "No, he's LIKE you…he's not YOU!" She pointed at her friend, "Even though your personalities are similar…you're different." She smirked a bit, "Like me and the Colonel." Her smile faltered a bit, "He was able to keep the SGC from falling…"
"Jack! Stop it!" Danni ordered her friend, "What happened wasn't your fault!"
Angrily Janice whirled around, "It God damn WAS my fault, and you can't look around here and tell me otherwise!" She shouted angrily tears stinging her eyes. "Colonel Jonathon O'Neill was enough of a Colonel to keep the SGC from falling into the hands of the Gou'ald, where Colonel Janice O'Neill completely FAILED in that category!" She pointed at her friend again, "So don't you DARE stand there and tell me that it wasn't my fault!"
"Is that what you think is about! The fact that you're female!" Danni looked at her friend with incredibly wide brow eyes, "Janice…that's……"
"The truth." She said simply, defeated "He's got something that I don't." She said as she looked up "The proof is all around us." She shook her head as she held up her hands. "Save your breath." She said as Danni closed her mouth for her rebuttal "You're a linguist, you know words." She looked up sadly, "There are no words that you can say to me that could make believe that I didn't fail, Danni." She said as she shoved her hands in her pocket and turned…and turned to walk out of the office.
"Wha-What about Daniel!" She called, as Janice stopped and looked up, not at Danni.
"Loving him…isn't enough of a reason to abandon everyone, Danni." She said her voice pained and rough with emotions "We can't stay anyways…you know that."
"No we don't!" Danni protested, "We've been here for weeks with no problems…!"
Janice held up her hand and shook her head "Be that as it may, and as much as I would want too…I can't fail again."
"I wouldn't ask you to abandon….!" She charged
"Danni, please…" Janice whispered as her shoulders slumped, "Please…" The pain all too evident in her voice "For once….can't you just let it be?" She asked as she moved out of the office…those tight shoulder and pain filled voice told Danni more than she could have every heard from Janice's words.