A/N: Thank you for all your kind reviews. They make my day and I truly appreciate them. This chapter turned out different than expected. I've been trying to put this off for as long as possible but somehow it seemed right at this moment. Personally, I'm not entirely happy with this chapter. Also writing this one made me realize that there's probably only one more to go. If you have any suggestions or ideas how you would like to see this fic end, let me know and I'll see what I can do. Again, thanks for the reviews and please keep them coming.

Chapter thirteen

She was standing right in front of him, the anger radiating from her body. At that moment he could only think of two things. One, how beautiful she was and two…how badly he wanted to kiss. Her words had hit him hard. She was right, he didn't know how much longer he could keep denying her. Beside, the fear of losing her was too much. He couldn't deal with that. For once he decided not to think about the consequences. Go ahead and do what he'd wanted to do for such a long time. He roughly pulled her into his arms and his lips found hers in a passionate kiss. It wasn't a gentle, exploring kiss. He wanted her to know how he felt and put all his feelings for her in that kiss. He was surprised when she returned the kiss with equal passion. Their tongues thoroughly explored each other. The one who started the kiss was also the one who ended it. Both were in need to catch their breaths. Kate was shocked, to say the least. Catching her breath, she took a step back as if she needed the distance to get her control back. Both were silent, observing the other's reaction. It was Gibbs who recovered first.

A small smile appeared on his face. With his fingers he touched his lips. "Was that personal enough?"

Kate was still recovering. "Euuh…well….yes." She stumbled. She couldn't believe it. They had kissed. Sure, in her dreams they'd kissed several times, but now it was real. And what a kiss it was. He'd left no doubt as to how he felt about her.

The silence returned, for now they didn't know how to proceed. It was out in the open, but neither had actually said anything.

Gibbs was clueless and suddenly seemed nervous again. This is what happened when he didn't think things over. How to proceed? He thought of kissing her again. Now that he'd tasted her once, he wanted to do it again. Maybe that wasn't the best thing to do. Judging from Kate's avoidance of his eyes, he was pretty sure it wasn't a good idea. Logically he knew it was up to him to do the talking. She deserved some answers, certainly after their passionate kiss. He decided to be honest with her. "I don't know what to do, Kate. I thought that if I denied it long enough it would go away. That maybe I imagined things, that I didn't see the longing in your eyes. Then, all of a sudden you're gone and the thought of that being permanent is not something I can handle. I was willing to do this professionally. To have you by my side as an agent was better than not having you by my side at all. But now…" He gestured between them. "This…this makes things so much more complicated. And though it feels right." He hesitated before speaking his next words. "I don't know if it's the right thing to do."

Back was the fire in Kate's eyes. "How can you say that? Stop letting your mind speak and let your heart do the talking! You can't keep denying this. This won't go away, especially after that kiss. So what if things become complicated? If it's right, it's right. Doesn't it feel right?" She said just before she closed the distance she'd put between them and gently brushed his lips with hers.

His right hand went up, his finger slightly tracing her jaw as he returned her kiss. He again ended the kiss. His arms had found their way around her and he pulled her against his chest, loving the feel of her in his arms. He placed a soft kiss on her hair. "It does feel right, Kate, but there's so much more to consider. I know you, I know you've been thinking about that too."

He heard her sigh. Gibbs was right. She'd thought about it too. It was one of the things that had held her back. They had to think about their jobs. How was this going to work? She honestly didn't know, but she didn't want to let go either. Not when for the first time in her life, it really felt perfect.

He released her, immediately missing her warmth. "You're a good agent, Kate. You love your job, I know that. This is going to complicate things or worse…" He didn't want to actually say the worst case scenario out loud. "I don't want you on another team. I want you on my team. If you were on another team I'd worry about you every time. I wouldn't be there to protect you if something went wrong. I know you're perfectly capable to do your job, but that doesn't mean I won't worry about you."

Taking his big hand in her smaller ones, she smiled at his words. She didn't like it when people doubted her abilities as an agent. With Gibbs she knew he didn't doubt her. It was genuine concern, concern he didn't show to many people. Her smile quickly disappeared when she thought about his words. He was right, she'd already thought about it and it worried her too.

"I don't want you losing your job over me." He said, looking at her hand before he let go. "And frankly, I'm not willing to give mine up just yet. Which causes a problem, a problem that I'd much rather avoid." He was stepping back from her, physically and mentally distancing himself. "I'm afraid I'm going to ruin your career. It's a risk I'm not willing to take…not when you deserve so much more." Turning his back on her he continued. "Kate, I'm a difficult man to live with. My work has partly been the reason why my three marriages failed. I promised myself not to make the same mistake again. I want what's best for you, even if that means denying myself of something beautiful."

She saw his shoulder slump forward. He was serious, he would really ignore his own feelings if that was better for her. It was a big gesture, but she didn't like it. "How come you decide what I deserve? This involves me too."

He turned around, facing her again. "I know it does…I just want you to be happy. The job makes you happy."

"The job makes me happy because you're there, chasing bad guys together, being by your side. What makes me even more happy is to be able to do this…" She wrapped her arms around his chest, leaning against him. "And this.." As she kissed him again, immediately deepening the kiss. She didn't want him to think, she wanted him to feel.

He groaned, pulling her closer. The woman was irresistible, it was that simple. He needed to keep his mind focused, but with her tongue doing wonderful things, it was too difficult to focus. She probably did that on purpose. The woman knew his weaknesses. Frankly, at this moment he didn't mind.

"Give us a chance, Gibbs. You want this as much as I do. Can't we at least enjoy the moment as long as it lasts? Can't you give us that? Just forget about the consequences. I'm right here, right in front of you. See me, see how good this can be?" She took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts when something dawned on her. Maybe this wasn't just about the job for Gibbs. Maybe this was about his own insecurities. Was he bothered by their age difference? Did he think he didn't deserve her? She needed to know what else was going on. She placed her hand on his chest, above his heart. For a moment she just felt its steady beat. "What else is going on, Gibbs. What aren't you telling me?"

He should have know she'd see through him. He was an open book to her. Part of him was wondering how this could work out. He was so much older. People would take their conclusions before they even got to know them. He didn't mind about it, he never gave thought to what other thought about him. But he didn't want that to happen to Kate. She deserved an honest chance. The other, even more important question for him was, how long would it take before she got tired of him? That she realized he would only become a burden to her. And his biggest fear of all, that she would leave him.

Suddenly he realized that during the entire conversation she hadn't called him by his given name. "Why won't you call me, Jethro?" His voice, thought soft, revealed his uncertainty.

Her hand tightened in his for a moment. This wasn't a question she'd expected. To her he was Gibbs. She'd never thought about calling him Jethro. She decided to give it a try, to feel how it sounded. "Jethro." She whispered, looking him in the eye. She smiled… she liked it. Only few had the privilege to call him Jethro. It seemed right that she could call him Jethro. "What are you afraid of, Jethro?"

TBC…