Author: Starway Man
Email: theop at kew . hotkey . net . au
Rating: Overall R, with mostly PG-13 parts
Disclaimer: The Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are copyright Joss Whedon, UPN, WB, Mutant Enemy, Kuzui, Sandollar and whoever else apart from me. No profit will be made from this, as usual.
Category: Action-Adventure, Angst, Alternate Universe, Angel/Buffy crossover
Main characters: Ensemble
Continuity: Just after the end of BtVS season 7, to the series finale of AtS season 5
Warnings: Some character death is present. There are also references to sex and suicide as well.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to Nodakskip for comments and suggestions.
Summary: My version of the final season of Angel, with a Scooby twist.
Title: Balance Point
Hyperion Hotel, Los Angeles, California. Late May, 2003
The ensouled vampire called Angel sat in his private office, and wasn't quite sure what to do with himself.
He listened to the voices of Fred Burkle, Charles Gunn, and Wesley Wyndham-Pryce outside in the lobby of the Hyperion, as they talked and prepared to shift their base of operations to the local offices of Wolfram & Hart. For the Fang Gang had been given the resources of the evil law firm as a reward...for ending world peace...
And because like any good father, Angel had chosen to do what was best for his psychopathic son, Connor.
The centuries-old being suspected that eventually, there would be consequences for his actions. But for the moment, that didn't matter; as right now, he had to focus. Focus on forming a second line of defense against Armageddon, at the request of Buffy the vampire Slayer.
In case the defenders of the Hellmouth didn't properly deal with the upcoming apocalypse up north in Sunnydale...
Privately owned hospital of Wolfram & Hart, Los Angeles, California. The next day
Angel was feeling very troubled.
The previous afternoon, a high school bus had stopped outside of the hotel and discharged quite a number of injured people, from the so-called Battle of Sunnydale.
He had subsequently been astonished to learn that Willow Rosenberg had done a spell to empower all the potential Slayers that were left in the world...but even more astonished to learn that his grandchilde Spike, of all people, had sacrificed himself to close the Hellmouth.
But all that paled into insignificance...when the Champion saw the interactions between Buffy Summers and Xander Harris.
They'd practically ignored each other, as the young man had helped Faith carry in a badly wounded guy named Robin Wood. Angel didn't get it; in the old days, he'd been sure that their bond was unbreakable, but now those two were almost acting like sworn enemies...
Of course, he had no way to know about the nasty fight the Slayer and the former Zeppo had had, during the trip here to LA. The bitterness Xander had felt from the death of Anya Jenkins - the woman he'd once loved more than anything - had manifested itself in a very ugly way; and Buffy simply hadn't been able to prevent herself from responding in the autocratic style that she'd developed, over the last few months.
The ensouled vamp knew that he had a lot of new responsibilities now, what with agreeing to take over the LA branch of Wolfram & Hart. But this was something Angel just couldn't let go; he had to find out what was going on with Buffy and Xander, or else it would drive him nuts with the distraction.
He still had feelings for the blonde Slayer, after all.
The vamp quickly arrived at the hospital room where Robin Wood was fighting for his life; and Angel then spied Harris awkwardly trying to comfort Faith, who was staring at her new boyfriend with tears in her eyes. (You've moved on to being Faith's white knight now? Never expected that...)
Suddenly Xander tensed, sensing his presence; and letting go of the brunette Slayer, the so-called Slayerette went over to the new arrival. "Angel."
"Xander," was the undead guy's reply. "This a good time?"
Harris turned and stared briefly at Faith, who was now at Robin's bedside and holding his hand. He sighed, "Yeah, good as any I guess..."
The two men exited out into the corridor, and Xander spoke first. "Look, first off, before you say anything...I gotta tell you - thanks for the assist with all the injured, and letting the rest of the gang stay at your hotel yesterday."
"You're welcome," Angel replied with a semi-shrug, as he suddenly and wisely decided to avoid the Buffy issue for now.
He also noted that the old animosity between the two of them...somehow, no longer seemed to be present. But then, it had been nearly half a decade since they'd last seen each other; and Angel figured the human had just finally grown up since then. "My people and I are just about ready to move out of there, anyway. Uh, I was curious...what happened to your-"
"My eye?" Xander chuckled darkly. "You've already met the guy responsible for that, or so I heard. Friendly neighborhood Mr. I-Hate-Women, who got sliced and diced in that tomb a few nights back in Sunnyhell."
Angel instantly recalled that fight with Caleb, alongside Buffy. "Ah. Well, then, glad he got what he deserved..." Then the vamp got a curious look on his face. "Willow's the most powerful witch I know...but, she couldn't heal that injury for you-?"
Xander shook his head. "I didn't want to risk it before now, and let Wills fall off the wagon again. And what the hell, don't you remember my track record with magic? Let's not forget one particular Valentine's Day, when you were...well, how can I put this. Off on your little trip to the dark side..."
The former Angelus instantly recalled the occasion, and smirked. "Oh, yeah, I remember that. And for the record, I really thought that Dru had gone completely insane that night..."
Despite themselves, both men chuckled over memories of a time that now...almost seemed like the 'good old days', by comparison. Then Angel straightened up, "But still, there are other options besides magic. Wolfram & Hart has the most advanced medical facilities of anyone I know; it should be possible to re-grow your eye somehow, I mean Fred was babbling something or another about their cloning technology yesterday. Want me to put her on that?"
Xander's one remaining eye went wide with hope, but then he suddenly looked suspicious. "Uh, mind if I ask first why you're offering? Because no offense, but time was we hated each other with a passion. And if there's one thing I've learned since high school - it's that there's no such thing as a free lunch..."
"You helped keep Buffy alive for the last four years. That's good enough for me," Angel said simply.
Xander sighed, exhaling two years' worth of angst. "I'm not so sure you should be thanking me for that, pal; because me, Willow, Tara and Anya did something really stupid back in 2001. We inadvertently opened the way for the First Evil to work some major badness in this world, bringing Buffy back from the dead..."
He paused. "Y'know...I wonder what things would be like right now - if I'd just told Willow that she was completely nuts back then, and simply broken Faith outta jail-"
"Xander," the vampire said firmly. "Don't do this to yourself, it won't get you anywhere. Trust me, I know - I've spent the last two and a half centuries doing the exact same thing! Thinking, if only I hadn't followed Darla into that alley that night. If only I hadn't killed practically every human I met, for the next 150 years. If only Buffy and I hadn't slept together, and unleashed Angelus again. If only I could have realized in time what was happening with-" then he broke off.
"What?" Xander asked, his curiosity piqued.
For a moment, Angel looked like he was just going to say nothing. Then his shoulders slumped, and he looked down at the floor in defeat. "Want to take a walk? There's a woman here at the hospital, who I think you might wanna meet. Someone who's in a coma, and that you haven't seen for four years..."
Xander nodded, and quickly making his excuses to Faith - he followed his vampiric host to a private room on the top floor. (Wonder who he's talking about?)
As they walked in through the door into the darkened enclosure, Xander's right eye suddenly went wide with recognition, upon glimpsing the unconscious woman. "Tina?"
Flashback
Angel hadn't exactly been enjoying himself, during this particular evening.
This was the night he had undertaken his first assignment as a Champion for the Powers That Be. His first seer, a half-Brachen demon named Doyle, had had a vision about a blonde girl in trouble named Tina - and sent him to try and help her.
So far, the woman had threatened to spray him in the face with mace, and now she'd dragged him to this hotel somewhere in Hollywood where a glamorous party was taking place.
Angel was pretty sure from now on, things could only get better...
"I don't believe this! What the hell are you doing here?"
...but then again, maybe not.
Tina noticed Angel's face screw up in dismay, as a dark-haired young man stopped his barely-working car right in front of them in the parking garage. "You two know each other?" she asked.
"Unfortunately," Xander and Angel said at the exact same time, after Harris had decided that it wasn't Angelus he was facing.
Tina simply raised an eyebrow as Angel demanded, "Xander, this isn't a good time - look, why are you here? Is there a problem in Sunnydale?"
"Not as far as I know, and you answer my question first! What do you know about what's happening here tonight?"
The blonde woman had quickly gotten tired of the comedy banter routine. "Look, you guys can stay here and chat, but I've got a security deposit to get..." She started to walk off to the elevator, leading upstairs to the party.
Xander quickly parked his car, and then he and the vampire struggled to catch up with her. "Xander, what the hell is going on?" Angel demanded in a low voice.
"Yeah, well, that's what I'd like to know," his companion hissed back. "See, funny thing - but I was on my road trip, and one night I'm heading over to the local roach house to get a quick bite to eat - when this damn hamburger statue comes to life, right in front of me!"
Angel couldn't believe it. "What?"
Xander went on, "I know! But hey, it's been three years - my freaky threshold is a lot higher than it used to be. Darn thing called itself the luau, or the loa, or some such thing...anyway, it told me that I had to be here tonight-"
"And you just went along with that?" the brooding one asked.
"YOU trying arguing with a cranky hamburger and see how far you get, Deadboy! Mr. Two-All-Beef-Patties even burned a time and a place into my brain, to make sure I wouldn't forget his orders. So now that I'm here, what gives?"
Angel didn't get a chance to fill him in though, as they finally caught up with Tina and the trio entered the party. The redheaded hostess of the gala event called Margo greeted them all, videotaping the new arrivals; and then later, Margo and Tina wandered off to chat by themselves, leaving Xander and Angel alone to mingle with the crowd.
Suddenly though, the human turned and almost sprinted for the door. "What are you doing?" Angel demanded whilst looking around, as he hurried to catch up.
Harris replied, "Don't look now, but major Cordy alert..."
The ensouled vampire looked back towards the midst of the party, and suddenly noticed Cordelia Chase - Xander's ex-girlfriend - as well. "You're not gonna go over and say hello?" he asked in amusement.
Xander looked at him in incredulity. "Last time we spoke, before she headed for LA? Cordelia and I had a big fight - before she hit me in the crotch with her right knee, and then finally got on that damn bus. So what the hell do you think?"
Angel raised his eyebrows, "What happened? Last I heard, before Graduation, you two were talking and almost friends again..."
Harris scowled, "I screwed up, okay? Can't we just leave it at that? Must you continue to push and PUSH?"
The vampire just stared at him again, and Xander capitulated, "Fine, I...look, at the last moment I asked Cordy not to go, alright? I thought that maybe we could...well, never mind. Whatever I was thinking then, I musta been outta my mind! But one thing led to another, and basically in the heat of the moment - I stupidly told her that with her lack of talent, it would take Cordelia years to get anywhere in the acting business..."
"And?" The ensouled undead knew that there had to be more to it than that.
"I...I also told her that I didn't want her to end up a stripper, a hooker or a topless waitress in the meantime. That's when Cordy told me that the next time she came back to Sunnydale, it would be to rub her success in my face at the local unemployment office, before she hit me in the nuts and left town..."
Angel shook his head. (Those two have GOT to better than any daytime soap opera...) But then he saw Tina being hassled by some guy in a suit. Xander noticed his gaze and asked, "What's the plan?"
Angel tossed the male teen his car keys. "Go back downstairs, and get the car started. We may need to make a quick getaway here..." Then he strode off towards the damsel in distress, all creature-of-the-night-y style.
"Sure thing, Bossy the cow..." Xander grumbled as he carried out his orders.
But all in all, it was a good thing he did; for as the bad guys tried to kidnap Tina to deliver her to the vampire called Russell Winters, Angel beat them up in the garage and Xander drove all three of them away - before reinforcements could arrive.
End Flashback
Privately owned hospital of Wolfram & Hart, Los Angeles, California. Late May, 2003
"What happened to her?" Xander asked, coming back to the present - after all the memories of that little adventure came flooding back.
Even now, the one-eyed man shuddered to think about what might have happened to Tina four years ago - if later on, he hadn't arrived there with a cross and stake in her apartment to make Winters back off from his evening meal. Even if the bloodsucker had hurt him slightly in the attempt...
Still, Angel had eventually thrown that undead piece of filth into the sunlight, before the youth had gone home to the Hellmouth. So, as far as Xander had been concerned - mission accomplished, case closed.
"It's a long story," the new CEO of Evil Incorporated said in reply to the question, feeling the weight of all his years on his shoulders. "But basically - she inherited Doyle's visions, became part-demon, ascended to a higher realm, came back possessed, gave birth to a so-called deity and ended up like this."
Harris slowly turned to face his immortal companion. "Uh-huh. So maybe, right now wouldn't be the best time to hear the long version...?"
Just then though, they were disturbed by the presence of a new arrival...the anagogic demon named Lorne.
Once the Host of Caritas, the Deathwok clan demon had become part of Angel's crew after his Karaoke bar had been destroyed once too often by enemies of the Champion and his friends. Now he was nominally the head of the Entertainment division of Wolfram & Hart, and one that was looking for his undead boss.
"Angel-cakes, thought I'd find you here! The princess is still snoozin', huh? Well, I-" Then he noticed Xander's presence. "Hello! We met briefly yesterday, didn't we? Xander Harris, right?"
Xander stuck out his hand politely. "Yeah. And it's Lorne, isn't it?"
"That it is..." Human and demon shook hands. "Oh, Angel honey, there's like a million people looking for you! I swear that you really need to get yourself a secretary, because it's getting to be like a zoo over there outside the hotel!"
Angel sighed. "Yeah, I better go handle this..." He looked around at Xander. "So, about that offer to grow your eye back-?"
Xander shrugged. "I''ll think about it."
Angel nodded, and as the vampire left the green-skinned empath demon stared at the former Sunnydalian. "Cupcake, I'm getting some really weird and conflicted vibes coming off of you. Anything I can do to help?"
A sigh. "No thanks, Lorne, it's just - private stuff."
"Oh, excellente! Then I'm just the thing you need, to get your life back on track!"
Xander looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"Alexito, let me put it this way: most people are supposed to be here in life..." the Host told him, as he held up his left hand.
Lorne then raised his right hand, about six inches away from his left. "But for some reason or other, they're there. So it's my job, to put them back on the path they're supposed to be following." He then clasped his hands together, to emphasize his point.
"And how do you do that?" the young man asked, somewhat interested.
"From you baring your soul to me..."
Xander immediately backed off as Lorne finished up, "...by singing."
Harris stopped moving. "By what?"
"You sing it, I dish it, sweetcakes. It's that simple." Seeing the human's sceptical look he added, "Come on, what have you got to lose? Right now it's just you, me and Sleeping Beauty over there. And it can be any song you like, just - it has to come from the heart. That's the only way I can help you."
"I don't know..."
"Trust me, puddin' - I've done this before for Mr. Broody Pants and the rest of his crew more than once, over the years. This is my thing, my power, it's the way I can help people. And right now, I'm willing to bet all of my Barbara Streisand CDs that your life is in need of a major overhaul!"
Xander still wasn't 100 percent convinced - even if he privately thought Lorne was right, he felt almost completely burned out after the events of the last 12 months. But Harris figured that even if this was all just a waste of time, the worst that could happen was that Lorne would simply tell everyone that he was a lousy singer; which wasn't exactly a big secret, after the nasty business with that musical amulet over a year ago.
So the X-man started to sing an old favorite of his, a U2 song from his high school days - long before he'd ever known about all the things that go bump in the night.
But less than 15 seconds after he'd started, Lorne backed off - his face becoming absolutely expressionless.
"What?" Xander demanded, no longer singing. "What did you see?"
The Host quickly pulled himself together. "Oh, too much and not enough! In a word, I saw trouble with a capital T. Listen, Alex-cake; I need you to stay here until I get back, there's something I gotta check out right away. Will you do that for me?"
Xander nodded silently as the Host immediately departed, and then he headed back to Faith and Robin.
Los Angeles, California. Later that night
Lorne made his way to something that Wesley had visited once before, retracing the British man's steps almost exactly.
The statue of the Loa.
The former lounge demon had almost become terrified, after the reading he'd done today. Seeing a mix of the past and future, he understood that the woman called Tina - his friend, and the former princess and monarch of Pylea - was someone who would have died four years ago, if not for Xander's intervention.
And that Cordelia Chase would have suffered all the various ills Tina had as Angel's seer, instead...
Oddly, Lorne had heard of the actress before now; Wesley had mentioned her being his sort-of girlfriend, long before they'd arrived in Los Angeles. And to be honest, from the rumors - he'd thought Ms. Chase was a bit too much of a diva in personality to make it big anytime soon, in Hollywood! But the Host had never known about Xander's role in her life, until today.
Finally, the demon sprinkled the powder in the bag he'd brought with him tonight over the hamburger statue; then held his hand up, palm out, in front of him. "Mange sec Loa, alegba, accept this offering - and open the gates of truth."
And just like before when Wes had done this, a red light flashed and the hamburger came to life, growing much bigger in front of Lorne. Its eyes began to glow red as it grumbled, "You dare call upon the Loa, outcast?"
Lorne gulped, figuring this wasn't going to be easy. "You know who I am, and why I'm here?"
"Why ask me questions, to which you already know the answers?"
The Host said simply, "Okay, then. Why did you or your counterpart do that, four years ago? Besides the obvious about saving a good woman in need, of course..."
Red lightning flashed from the Loa's eyes into Lorne, knocking him to the ground. "Your insolence is as displeasing as that of your predecessor! Mock me again in such manner, and the act will be your last..."
Lorne got up, wondering what on earth he'd REALLY gotten himself into. "Sorry, sorry, but look - I came here on account of I need answers, you know. Why'd you ever choose to do this, in the first place? And what do I say to everyone, after I steer that kid to where he's supposed to go? I'm just asking, no offense intended..."
"The Loa believes in balance, which your friend's presence will eventually bring about - as he is one of the few humans with the courage of their convictions, and the willingness to follow through to the bitter end. His path was thus adjusted accordingly, with the attendant consequences. For it is axiomatic, that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."
The red horned demon looked up at the giant hamburger, upon hearing that. "Then one last thing - when? I know that some kinda nightmare is coming, I got that much from the buttercup's horrible mangling of Bono's golden oldie - but when's it all going to take place?"
The Loa growled, "Three things shall come to pass. The first portent will shake the earth. The second will turn the air to water. The final will be a gathering of all the unclean things inhabiting the night."
Lorne started to protest at the lack of anything useful, when the Loa barked out, "Earthquake, rain, legion. Be heedful of the signs, demon, and trouble the Loa no more." And then the irate hamburger deactivated itself, shrinking and returning to a lifeless statue.
NBC Studios, Los Angeles, California. A few hours later
Lorne dragged an annoyed Xander through the hallowed halls of Hollywood's heartland, looking for someone in particular.
The one and only former cheerleader, former high school princess, and former intended victim of Jasmine.
In this world, after Xander and Angel had successfully eluded her at that party, Cordelia had indeed met a very powerful talent agent and gotten her acting career off the ground. Which in turn had led her to some commercials, low-key roles in two movies, and finally after four years of hard work - her big break, as a supporting actress in a TV sitcom.
Which wasn't called 'Cordy', of course; as all that had just been a slick presentation by the demon mercenary called Skip, as part of the rogue Power's plans to manifest itself on the human plane again.
In any case, right now Harris was really starting to get ticked. "Okay, WHY am I here again?"
"Take it easy, studmuffin," Lorne reassured him hastily. "All I know is, you're supposed to be here to meet somebody. Somebody that's gonna be involved in your future."
"Well, I don't see how," Xander confessed. "I'm hittin' the road soon with everyone else, to go to England-"
The Host stared at the human. "And yet, I don't hear you being all that thrilled with this scenario?"
Xander shrugged. "Yeah, well. What else is an unemployed ex-carpenter like me going to do?"
"Xander, sweetie, Hellmouth war veteran or not - you're only 22 years old. Your life's just beginning! And soon as you get your eye back, which by the way I'm telling you is something that's a very good idea for you to do, the whole world can be your oyster-"
Xander got a bit distracted at that, contemplating the possibilities. And so he didn't see the woman he suddenly crashed into, as they both went tumbling to the floor.
"Damn it! Get your extreme oafishness off of my six-hundred-dollar shoes!"
(Oh no, oh God. That voice...no, it can't be...) Xander thought in horror. But then he looked at her face, and sure enough...it was his childhood nemesis, live and in person.
Cordy recognized him too, as they got up. "Oh my God...Xander Harris? What are you doing here? And what the hell happened to your eye?"
"Hello, Cor. Nice to see you too," Xander mumbled under his breath.
"Are you both okay?" Cordy's assistant, who was named Josh asked obsequiously. "Sir, your eye-?"
"Just a temporary injury," Xander said at once, abruptly making his decision about the operation. "Eyepatch comes off soon..."
"What, you thought it made you look cool?" Cordelia demanded, instantly recalling the past. And not liking the fact either, that 'the one who sees' had been able to figure out the truth about her acting abilities - long before she had. "Never gonna happen, dweeb boy. And you still haven't answered my question!"
Lorne cleared his throat. The demon was in disguise with his traditional hat and sunglasses, and most humans thought his green complexion was just a fashion statement or whatever. And the sad part was that here in Tinseltown, it wasn't even the most bizarre thing around... "Hi there. I'm Lorne, I'm with the law firm of Wolfram & Hart-"
Cordelia looked at him properly for the first time, and her long-abandoned Hellmouth instincts - awakened by the return of the cheater ex-boyfriend into her life - kicked in. "Oh my God! You're a de-"
Xander instantly clapped his hand over her mouth, without thinking. "Not in front of the civilian!" he hissed into her ear.
A hundred bad memories assaulted her at once. So the Chase woman shook him off and said, "You touched me. Who the hell ever gave you permission to touch me again, you dork?" Then she sucker-punched Harris directly in the gut, causing Xander to bend over and wheeze - before Cordy stormed away in a huff.
Josh was instantly in damage control mode, as this was potentially career-ending PR nightmare stuff. Not to mention a lawsuit, and getting the police involved... "Sir, can I get you anything, are you okay?"
Xander instantly waved him off, "Yeah, I'll be fine. And at least this was better than last time, when she hit me in the family jewels..."
Josh almost fainted, and started wondering if he should begin looking for another job. But then Lorne grabbed him by the arm as he said to Xander, "I'll handle this, sugar pie, you just head on back to the car - okay?"
Xander shrugged and left. And Josh gulped, as Lorne smiled at him. "Let's talk, shall we?"
Hyperion Hotel, Los Angeles, California. The next day
Lorne made his way into the lobby, and waved to Angel, Faith and Buffy. "Greetings, fellow campers! Look, we need to have a little confab, pronto..."
They all quickly entered Angel's private office, and Lorne shut the door. "So, what's been happening with you all since yesterday?"
"Nothing much," Ms. Summers shrugged. "Oh, wait - Robin's finally out of danger now, thank God-"
"Yeah," agreed a relieved Faith at once. "And hey, where'd Xander go off to? Last I saw, you dragged him away - more anxious than a virgin on his first date..."
"Oh, that..." Lorne lost the cheerful expression on his face. "Yeah, there are things we need to discuss about that guy. And I got me the horrible feeling that you're not going to like most of what I've got to say..."
"What is it?" Angel asked at once.
The Host gestured helplessly. "I did a reading on your little buddy, bub and bubbettes, and let's just say - his future here didn't exactly come up all roses."
Buffy looked confused, until the others explained who Lorne was and what he could do. Then she said in misunderstanding, "But Xander isn't staying here, he's leaving the country with the rest of us in a few days. So why is that an issue?"
Lorne sighed. "Because he's not going with you."
Buffy brushed that aside. "Is this because of that stupid fight we had on the bus, the other day? Come on, that was all just a misunderstanding - he, he was understandably upset about Anya, and I-I-I guess I didn't help matters by forcing him to try and talk about it..." Then she saw Lorne's expression. "What?"
The demon just stared at her. "Sweetikins, I'm only gonna say this once - but here is the situation. You. Can't. Help. Him."
The blonde Slayer didn't like that. "What are you talking about?"
"The past seven years with you? Sorry - but they've sucked Xander Harris almost completely dry, lamb chop. This last year, especially, it's been the worst of the lot! Our boy's lost someone very important to him, on account of that little battle plan you cooked up. And when he sang, I couldn't believe that I never saw it coming a mile away!"
"What?" Faith demanded, as Buffy's face went frigid.
"You got a lot of Slayers to find throughout the world, right?" Lorne asked the two Chosen Ones.
"Yeah, so?" Buffy said.
"So, you have to split up the troops, send 'em all over the planet. And I saw it, clear as day! Our Cyclopean friend ending up alone in Africa; and one year to the day after Little Miss Vengeance died - Xander buys himself a one-way ticket aboard the Suicide Express. By fighting against what looked like a Mulix demon, after the last of his Slayers got sent off to merry old England."
There was a huge, horrified silence. Angel was the first to speak, "No way, that doesn't sound like Xander at all-"
Buffy interrupted at once, "Yeah, but we can't take the risk. I'll talk to Giles, and we'll just have to make sure that-"
"What, B?" Faith interrupted. "We lock him up for his own good? That ain't gonna cut it, he'd get out eventually. Confront him with this head-on? You're just puttin' ideas in his head. Assign him a babysitter? Like Lorne said, we don't have the time or the manpower. So what exactly do you suggest we do?"
"Nothing," Lorne interrupted. "Because it's all out of your hands, like I've been trying to tell you - I've already put him on his proper path, as of a few hours ago. Which involves an actress named Cordelia Chase, by the by. Somebody we met yesterday-"
Both Angel and Faith looked up, in recognition of that name. "Cordelia?" Buffy said as she made a face, remembering her high school rival and the woman's Hollywood reputation. "Why on earth would you take Xander to go see that...that airheaded gossip queen?"
Lorne suddenly had a strange look on his features. "Just my opinion, but duchess - you should be careful throwing words like that around, if you're ever in Queen C's presence. I mean - you don't want her to start calling you a necrophiliac slut on national TV or anything, given how last night the Xandman eventually told her everything that's happened in Sunnydale...ever since she left town..."
Buffy glared at him, as Faith tried not to chuckle. "So what's the sitch?" the dark-haired Slayer asked.
"Well, it was a bit ugly at first, Ms. Chase did have quite a few...issues regarding young Mr. Harris. But in order to avoid some negative publicity for the woman, her people and I worked out a deal; as soon as he recovers from his eye operation, Xander starts a part-time job as one of her assistants! Josh and I had a dickens of a time talking our two lovebirds into it, too, but hey - I'm sure they'll be good for one another..."
"So it's all settled then?" Angel asked in satisfaction, as Buffy and Faith looked astonished at the news that Harris was getting his left peeper back.
"Not quite," Lorne said, bracing himself. "Thing is, Tall, Dark and Hunka-Hunka Burning Love - Xander is also gonna hafta be involved with us over yonder at that evil law firm, after we move in and take over the place. What his role is gonna be, I don't know; but because I have it on good authority that he's the type to stick it out till the fat lady sings - we'll need him. That's the other reason why he can't leave with the Chosen crowd, ya see."
Buffy stared at Angel, disregarding Xander's situation for now. "So...you're really gonna do this, then? Jump ship, and join the other side?"
"Buffy, it's not like that..."
But the oldest of the Chosen didn't want to hear it, as she quickly left the office. "Don't worry," Faith said to him, before following her sister Slayer. "I'll talk to her. And what with the stud to be hanging around with you guys, I'm sure we'll all keep in touch..."
NBC Studios, Los Angeles, California. March, 2004
Cordelia Chase sat in her dressing room, dreading the upcoming conversation. And to think, things had started out relatively well nearly a year ago...
She and Xander had eventually gotten over the past and, amazingly enough, even reconnected as friends; he had found someone that didn't let him brood about the loss of Anya too often, and she had found a piece of her past that she had missed. And hadn't even known that she had been doing so.
Indeed, everything had been practically hunky-dory...until the Halloween party thrown by Angel's Avengers, last year.
Xander had received an invitation to the event, as he'd been going to the law firm regularly to get a checkup on his new eye - and made friends with Angel's personal staff. And to his great surprise, Cordy had decided to attend the party with him...rather than listen to a nagging phone call from her mother, about why she hadn't gotten married and given her grandchildren yet.
Well, obviously her old Sunnydale luck just HAD to show its ugly face again. That idiot demon, called Lorne or whatever...he'd said to Angel and some slut named Eve that they should just get a room already. And then his gaze had slid over to Xander and Cordy, standing right next to the duo...
"You two crazy kids as well."
Cordelia still blushed even now, whenever she thought of that night. She'd had her share of boyfriends since the old days, granted - but oh dear God. Where the hell had Xander Harris learned how to make love like that? She'd been sore for days afterwards, and secretly cherished every moment of it...
But the next day's fallout had been...intense. Because as the old saying goes, "sex ruins the friendship".
Xander had apologized and offered to resign, understanding if she hated his guts again now; but Cordy had told him no way, it wasn't his OR her fault. So they'd just put it behind them, and gotten back to their daily lives.
At least, Xander had; Cordy...was a somewhat different affair.
Without meaning to, she'd started demanding a lot more of the man's presence. And Cordelia hadn't liked learning that Harris was spending more time with the new order at Wolfram & Hart, than with his job as her assistant...
As the man had gotten bored with the minutiae of an ordinary life after seven years in the real world, and after the first time he'd encountered an LA vampire on the street...just as Lorne had foreseen, the former carpenter had inevitably been dragged back into the fighting the good fight with Angel and his people.
The female TV star had gotten cranky over that, and hard to work with. Thus, the show's ratings had suffered as a result. The producers, upon hearing her side of the story, had proposed getting rid of Xander immediately to restore the status quo...
Cordelia had instantly vetoed it. But as things had gotten worse, she'd been given an ultimatum.
"Can the assistant, or we dump the show's character. Or else start sleeping with him again, if that's what you really want! Either way, do what it takes to fix the problem - or it's all over. It's that simple, Cordelia."
But Ms. Chase knew that Xander would never agree to the second option, however...fun it sounded. So she was going to have to let him go...
All of a sudden though, Xander knocked and entered the room. And it was obvious he'd been crying.
"Xander?" Cordy got up, her carefully rehearsed speech flying out of her mind. "What's wrong?"
Harris collapsed onto a chair. "Fred's dead."
Ms. Chase had no idea who it was that he was talking about. "What? Who's Fred?"
Xander looked at her strangely, and then abruptly remembered the situation. "She's - she WAS - one of Angel's people. Think Willow with brunette hair, and a Texan accent..."
Cordelia joined her ex-boyfriend, as vague memories of that drunken little twig from the Halloween party surfaced in her mind. "What happened?"
Xander choked, "She got infected by some ancient demon. One of the Old Ones...Wes and I were there with her, till the end. And that...that THING got all the way inside her, killed everything that she was. Angel and Spike went to England to try to find a way to restore her, but it was pointless; even her soul no longer exists. Her corpse is still walking around, but Fred's...gone..."
Xander then lost control and started to weep, the tears for his friend staining both his cheeks as Cordelia awkwardly tried to comfort him. (My God, he's lost it-)
But then Harris pulled himself together, and he stood up. "Cordy...I'm sorry. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to hand in my two weeks' notice here..."
"WHAT?" Cordelia squawked. And the TV actress wasn't faking it, either.
"Oh, let's face it - I've been more of a hindrance than a help around here lately, what with the Slayage activity I get up to! And Wes and Angel have been begging me for months to quit and join them full-time, there's a big shortage of people over there that they can trust in that evil law firm! Now that Fred's gone, and Gunn's...in the hospital...they're real shorthanded over there. So, I gotta go where I'm needed most. I hope you can understand that?"
"I...I...what if I offered you more money?" (WHAT? You idiot, you're supposed to be getting rid of him! What's the matter with you, you can't even think straight when Xander's around?)
Xander just sighed, missing out on her inner turmoil because of his own. "Sorry, Cor, but even that's not a consideration. Because Deadboy's got more money than God, apparently, and could outbid you any day of the week."
Cordelia didn't know what to do, apart from say, "Then I-I guess it's settled. Leave whenever you want..."
Overcome with emotion, Xander just hugged his ex and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for being so understanding, Cordy. I owe you, I really do..." And then as suddenly as he'd entered the room, Xander left to go collect his stuff.
Cordelia Chase just stood there in numb disbelief, and she slowly touched her flesh where he'd kissed her. "Hmmm...wonder if this means he's free for a date, after the grieving phase is over with?"
Los Angeles, California. Late May, 2004
Two months later, the sound of thunder woke Cordelia up from her sound sleep.
The brunette had a funny feeling about that though, as she listened to the approaching storm. (That's odd, the weather bureau didn't say anything about this today...)
Cordy picked up her phone, and despite how late it was - decided to dial Xander's number. She hadn't seen him ever since he'd abruptly left that afternoon, after they had spent the day together; and the woman wanted to see if Harris was free in the morning, maybe the guy could take her shopping on Rodeo Drive...
There was no response at Xander's apartment. She subsequently tried his extension at Wolfram & Hart; but again, nothing. Cordy then tried the general inquiries line...before she heard it.
Three inhuman voices growling in synch, as the earth beneath her feet started to shake and the phone went dead.
Cordelia got out of bed, and telephoned her number one assistant at once. "Josh! What's the situation?"
"It's not even a four, Cordelia, I'd suggest just going back to sleep-"
The Chase woman instantly slammed down the phone, and switched on the TV. Then she saw it; the Wolfram & Hart building was now in ruins. And anyone trapped inside, would most surely have died...
Suddenly, Cordelia remembered something odd that Xander had said today. How important it was to live your life, like each day might be your last.
And from the way Harris had looked at her then - Cordy had suspected that he'd been wanting to take her to a hotel room, lock the door behind them and remind her of all the reasons why she'd thought the man was a demi-god in bed. And Lord knows, but she wouldn't have had any objections to that scenario at all...
Still. Ms. Chase had no way to know about Angel's little speech to everyone earlier about the Black Thorn, and how Xander couldn't bring himself to start something again now with his former honey - when he suspected that this would be his last day alive.
Remembering then about Angel's old headquarters, some trashed hotel on Hyperion Avenue...Cordelia quickly made up her mind. She got dressed, and grabbed the keys to her car. Heading for the Hyperion as rain started pouring down, Cordy then eventually stopped in horror on the street - when she saw them.
An army of demons, just running around in public - like they were totally unconcerned about exposure to the human world. They were headed towards an alley...
Suddenly, several pairs of hands yanked her out of the convertible. "Get the civilian out of here!" someone yelled.
"Wait!" a familiar voice cried. "Cordy?"
"Willow!" the TV star yelled, heading for her one-time friend. "What's going on?"
"Annual apocalypse season, albeit this time in LA," the redhead shrugged. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm looking for Xander! I-"
Suddenly, a huge flying dragon appeared overhead, and distracted them both. Turning around and soaked by the rain, Cordelia looked into the alley - and saw Angel drawing a sword. He was flanked by Xander, Spike, a black man who was obviously injured - and some weird blue-haired woman, wearing a totally skanky body suit...
(Oh my God. It's that Illyria thing he told me about!) But before she could scream at Xander to get to safety, two Watchers yanked her behind them. "Out of the way, ya dumb bint!"
Willow started floating up into the air, as her eyes went black and lightning emerged from her fingertips. And then Cordy saw Buffy, Giles and even that crazy bitch Faith show up, along with a huge number of men and women - enough to match the number of demons present, and maybe even then some.
It was all about balance, as the Loa had mentioned nearly a year ago...
"Fan out! Let's go to work!" Buffy the vampire Slayer shouted, as the demon army suddenly realized they had unwelcome visitors on their tails.
Lightning flashed, thunder roared, and as the final battle started...it was-
The End