SpiderJeff Chapter 4: Midgets and Muses, an earthbound fanfic

It's been a few days but I'm ready for the new chapter, right Floating Skull?

…

…Floating Skull?

…

Hey! Floating Skull, where are you!?

…

Oh, well. I don't own Earthbound, Spiderman, blah, blah, blah.

Chapter 3: Midgets and Muses

Back in Onett; Ness, Paula, and Poo decided to go the Arcade.

"Ya notice how this is the only town that has an arcade, town hall, library, and police station?" asked Paula.

"Yeah, I wonder how the other towns keep law and order?" asked Ness.

"They probably send annoying people to annoying places like Saturn Valley or Twoson," replied Poo.

"Excuse me?!!" exclaimed Paula. "I happen to live in Twoson."

Poo grinned. "Case in point."

"Why you little toilet cleaning son of a…"

"Hey, we're here," intervened Ness. The trio was about to enter the Arcade when Ness screamed like a little sissy baby.

(A/N Thank you Millis Lane)

"What? What is it?" said Paula worriedly.

"It's that kid I thought would beat me up," Ness said, pointing to a kid down the street.

Poo sighed, "He's not bigger than you.

Ness: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" and falls into a fetal position.

"Well Paula, I guess it's up to you."

"No way! I recognize that punk. He looked up my dress once and snapped a picture. It was all around Eagleland. No way I'm getting near that pervert!"

"That was kinda funny."

"NO IT WASN'T!!!!!" screamed Paula, knocking Poo flat on his back. "Why don't you beat him up?!"

"Because I am a prince. It wouldn't do for me to harm a child, especially in a foreign land." said Poo, standing up.

"Well, who's gonna beat him up? Ness is in a fetal position, I'm wearing a dress, and you're too noble."

Poo stood erect and spoke in a deep, manly voice. "There's only one man brave enough, shameless enough, and wearing pants capable of defeating this menace."

Paula stared in awe. "You mean…"

"Look!" shouted Ness, apparently up from his fetal position. "What's that?"

The being swung down from a rope that seemed to be suspended in midair. "I am Spider-Jeff!!"

"Oooo!!!" shouted Ness. "A new superhero with the powers of Spiderman!"

"I wonder who he his?" asked Paula.

Spider-Jeff sweatdropped. "Never mind. What seems to be the trouble?"

"That little kid is scaring my wimpy friend," said Poo.

"And he took a picture of my underwear, while I was wearing them," shrieked Paula. Loud, obnoxious hooting could be heard in the background.

"I'll put a stop to that!" exclaimed Spider-Jeff. He walks over to the little kid. "Young man, I must ask you to stop pestering my friends."

The kid scowled. "Make me, four-eyes."

Spider-Jeff gritted his teeth. "That's it!" he yelled. He knocked the kid to the ground and started kicking him.

Suddenly, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Mick Foley, and Triple H ran up to Spider-Jeff.

"Hey man, you can't just beat up a kid like that!" said Triple H

"It's punks like you that give people like us a bad name!" yelled Steve Austin.

"Wait a minute!" exclaimed Mick Foley. "This isn't a kid. It's a midget!! You can tell by the beard and the armpit hair!"

"Well, in that case…" said The Rock. "YA GOTTA KICK HARDER!!!!!!!!" and the wrestlers and Spider-Jeff start kicking the midget. Soon, Paula, Poo, and even Ness join in.

This continued until the midget started glowing and floating in midair.

The wrestlers stood in shock. "Well," said Austin. "This is where our cameo ends. "Later." And the wrestlers leave.

"Wha…what are you?!!!" yelled Poo.

"I…" said the midget in a deep, raspy voice. "AM…FLOATING

SKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Floating Skull?" said Paula. "Isn't he the muse?"

(A/N You're dang right he's the muse!)

Flt. Sk.: "Floating Skull has come to destroy you. That way, DragonRaiderX9 will have to write about something else."

Ness: "What about Pointless Arguments? And why is your name bolded?"

Flt. Sk.: "Floating Skull shall attack that later. And my name is bolded because I'm on the Author Team. For now, I shall destroy Spider-Jeff." And with that, he charges Spider-Jeff.

Spider-Jeff dodges and shoots a web blast at Floating Skull. Unfortunately, it burns up in Floating Skull's flames.

Flt. Sk.: "HA! Your puny powers are no match for Floating Skull. Now fear the wrath of my Floating Beam."

Spider-Jeff: "What's the Floating Beam?"

Flt. Sk.: "Observe, puny mortals. Floating BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and he shot a huge ray of intense flame at The Chosen.

Ness&Paula&Jeff&Poo: "AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

After the smoke cleared, The Chosen were lying on the ground, barely conscious. Ness managed to stand up, but then he noticed that his hat had been burned to a crisp. Ness narrowed his eyes.

"You…" said Ness softly. "First, you take a perverted picture of my ex-girlfriends. Then you scare me nearly to death. Then you scared away my favorite wrestlers. But now you destroyed my hat. Now you've gone…TOO…FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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Ness goes into Frenzy Mode and attacks Floating Skull…99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

99999999999999999999 points of damage to Floating Skull

Floating Skull was defeated.

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Flt. Sk.: "I'LL BE BACK!!!" and he disappears.

"Ness," said Poo from his spot on the ground. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. But you guys look like you've been better." Ness uses Psychic Lifeup Omega. His friends rise from the ground.

"Well young citizens…" said Spider-Jeff. "I will see you again."

"But who are you?" asked Paula. "I know I've seen you before. Green jacket and pants, white undershirt, big glasses, and blonde hair."

"Nope," said Ness. "Doesn't sound like anyone I've ever met."

Spider-Jeff sweatdropped again. "I'm just you're friendly neighborhood Spider-Jeff." He shot a webline up to the sky and swung off. Ness, Paula, and Poo stood there in awe.

"Say, Ness." said Poo. "What are you going to do about your hat?"

"What's to do? I have a whole bunch of those hats in my closet."

"But that was you're favorite."

"I say that about all my hats."

"But you saved the world in that hat."

"Nah, I put that hat in a box so I can wear it on special occasions."

"Like what?"

"Like my prom."

"Your prom?"

"Yeah, it would help in getting a date. It would be like this, 'Hey, wanna go to the prom with me? This is the hat I saved the world in.' and she'd swoon."

"…right, somehow I think that pick up line will be less than…what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Appealing?" said Paula.

"Right," replied Poo. "Less that appealing."

"Ah, you guys are just jealous," said Ness with his hands on his hips.

Paula and Poo roll their eyes. Then they continue into the Arcade.

However, someone was watching. And this someone didn't quite like Spider-Jeff or his friends.

Who is this strange character? Will he spell doom for Spider-Jeff and The Chosen?

Find out on the next exciting chapter of Spider-Jeff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flt. Sk.: "Floating Skull cannot believe he was defeated."

Well, serves you right for interfering with MY fanfiction.

Mysterious Voice: "It seems that your current author team sucks."

Who said that?!!

M. V.: "It was I" The figure stepped into the light to reveal his true form

Ivan!!??

Flt. Sk.: "Who is this Ivan?"

Ivan is a Jupiter (wind) Adept from Golden Sun.

Ivan: "That's right. I have come to join your team and make you mighty."

Okay, from now on, you'll be my newest muse. Prepare yourself for the initiation.

Ivan: "Initiation?" (looks nervous)

Relax, I'm just going to zap you with author energy. (Raises hand) FEEL THE POWER!!!!

Ivan: "I FEEL THE POWER!!!!"

Okay, it's official. Ivan, you are now my muse.

Ivan: "Excellent" (doing that Mr. Burns thing with his fingers)

Flt. Sk. "Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!!!!"

Ivan: "So I'm a muse now. How a-muse-ing."

DRX9 & Flt. Sk.: "NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!"