About five minutes into the movie, Michael had me pinned down on the couch, his mouth moving feverishly over mine.

God, this is so wonderful. I mean, I had completely given up on Michael a few months ago, but now everything's absolutely PERFECT. Obviously, we were meant to be.

One thing about Michael, though, was that he…welllllll…he kind of skipped right over second base to glancing shortstop every now and then. It kind of makes me wonder—is my chest that unnoticeable? I thought all boys followed the baseball progression thing. I know Michael's not big on sports, but it would be nice if he didn't surprise me like that.

I guess he's just not used to the whole chest thing, what with his only real experience coming from an all-male relationship. No bras to unhook there…I hope.

"I've got a huge English exam next week," murmured Michael, pushing the hair out of his face. "I can't get out of the dorm room without feeling guilty—"

"So I'll be watching Extreme Makeover alone?" I finished, my stomach clenching at the thought of flying solo.

"No, you'll be sneaking into my dorm room and providing distractions, silly," chuckled Michael, brushing his lips against my forehead. "You're great at getting my mind off stupid stuff."

"Like what?"

"School, moping, Ashlee Simpson," said Michael, ticking them off on his fingers. "That's why we're friends. You know how to keep me happy."

A distraction. A morale-booster. Is that all I am? What about sex goddess? TOTAL BABE!

Michael never compliments my body. My clothes? Sure! But never once as he said "My, your hips are fetching" or "What perfectly gorgeous calves!"

For once, I'd like to be appreciated for my physical qualities. Does that sound shallow? Ya know what! Sometimes you just have to be a little vain. It's human nature.

I can't let myself get down about Michael, though. He's all I've got…and I don't want to be alone.

Ohhhhhhhh. Michael may not check out my legs or anything, but he's a hardcore worshipper of my lips.

The good thing about Michael is my mom and Mr. G totally don't expect us to be doing anything but rehashing the latest Sex and the City or gushing about Jake Gyllenhaal. Our relationship is completely harmless in their eyes.

So once they got home, we retreated to my room, where Michael commenced flipping through my old Babysitter's Club books while I checked my email.

I was just deleting some ridiculous forward from Tina when an instant-message popped up:

Enrique4Ever: Mia?

FtLouie: Who is this?

I suspected my cousin Rene for a brief moment, but he's got better things to do online than IM me. Well, if you happen to think ogling Lindsay Lohan is worthier of your time.

Enrique4Ever: It's Max. I need to ask you something.

OH, GOD! How dare he attempt to communicate with me when his poor, helpless ex is bemoaning his loss not five feet away from me!

Well, actually, Michael's now looking at my collection of nail polish with interest.

FtLouie: I'm not sure I want to talk to you right now.

Just as I was about to make my dramatic exit, he messaged me again.

Enrique4Ever: Please! It's important.

FtLouie: Make it quick.

Enrique4Ever: OK. See, I just wanted to know how Michael is. Is he all right?

FtLouie: He's absolutely fine. He's over you.

Enrique4Ever: Shit.

FtLouie: Shit?

Enrique4Ever: Do you think he'd be willing to talk to me? At least TRY and patch things up?

FtLouie: No. He doesn't want to talk to you ever again, understand?

Enrique4Ever: Is this from his mouth or yours?

Enrique4Ever: Leaves told me about the little thing going on between you guys.

FtLouie: I don't know what you're talking about.

Enrique4Ever: Mia, I just want the truth. Is there any chance he'd take me back? I made a mistake. I'll do anything to make it up, I swear.

No. No, no, no, no, no. This CANNOT be happening. Not when Michael and I were on the verge of a real, true relationship! Not when we were just falling in LOVE!

FtLouie: Max, I'm sorry, but it's over. You broke his heart. I won't let you do it again. He doesn't want you to hurt him again.

I was completely echoing some Lifetime movie, but I didn't care. I couldn't let things go to pieces now. I might sound selfish, but I did have Michael's best interests at heart. Max would just hurt him again, and I hate to see my friends in pain.

Before Max could say (or type, whatever) another word, I signed off and swiveled around in my chair to face Michael.

"Let's go to the park tomorrow," said Michael, resting his head on my knees. "We'll sunbathe and ogle dudes, just like old times."

Wait a minute! In "old times," Michael didn't kiss me! How can he check guys out AND nibble my lower lip so affectionately?

Maybe he's bisexual…

But that still doesn't change the fact that we're practically dating. And he wants me to come along and guy-watch with him! Something's not right there.

"Um," was what I said, instead of lashing out like I intended. I've got to keep Michael close if Max is out on the prowl again.

What makes that diminutive little jerk think he can just waltz back into Michael's life any time he feels like it? He was the one who ended the relationship! He chose someone else.

So why can't he just leave us be?

Review? Please?