I'm sorry for the slow updates, I've been kinda busy. Did no one like my last chapter? I know there was less humor in it than before, but we all knew that battles like these would happen.

Flt. Sk.: Cease the dialogue, Floating Skull senses that no one cares about this fic. That's why only your puny friend DC3000 reviews now.

Maybe, but come on, I'm trying!

Ivan: Yeah, trying to get on everyone's nerves.

Why you…!

B.B.: He's right, dude. You've been putting off this chapter because you know it won't be fun to write. That's, like, totally uncool.

…I guess you guys are right. Okay, if anyone's still reading this fic, I want to say, I'm sorry. I'll try and update more on all my fictions. Enough of this mushy crap. LET THE STORY BEGIN!

Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!

Chapter 8 The Final Battle

"Well, what are we waiting for?" shouted Ness. "Let's get it on!"

Heavily Armed Super-Pokey wants to fight.

Ness tried PSI Rockin Omega
300 HP of damage to Heavily Armed Super-Pokey.

Paula tried PSI Shield Omega
Everyone was covered with a shield of light.

Heavily Armed Super-Pokey tried PSI Big Fart Omega
PSI Big Fart Omega was reflected by the Psychic Power Shield
Heavily Armed Super-Pokey is unaffected.

Jeff slashed with the Spider Sword
57 HP of damage to Heavily Armed Super-Pokey

Poo tried PSI Starstorm Omega
255 HP of damage to Heavily Armed Super-Pokey

-

Ness tried PSI Flash Omega
Heavily Armed Super-Pokey cannot stop crying.

Paula tried PSI Fire Omega
137 HP of damage to Heavily Armed Super-Pokey

Heavily Armed Super-Pokey charged forward
SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!
627 HP of damage to Paula
Paula got hurt and collapsed

Jeff fired the Multi Bottle Rocket
97 HP of damage to Heavily Armed Super-Pokey

Poo charged forward
65 HP of damage to Heavily Armed Super-Pokey

"Paula!" screamed Ness. "Noooooooooooooooo!"

"Guys," exclaimed Jeff. "I think I know how to beat him. It's extremely corny, but no worse than the Spider Sword."

"I'll say," agreed Poo. "That thing is just stupid."

Jeff ignored him. "I'll need a few minutes to prepare it. Can you guys hold him off?"

Ness narrowed his eyes. "Try and stop me," he whispered in a low, serious voice rarely heard by Ness. Ever. No, seriously.

Ness charged forward
SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!
9999 HP of damage to Heavily Armed Super-Pokey

Heavily Armed Super-Pokey took out a Refreshing Herb and ate it
Heavily Armed Super-Pokey stopped crying

Poo tried PSI Heal Omega
Paula's Hit Points are maxed out!

-

Ness charged forward
37 HP of damage to Heavily Armed Super-Pokey

Paula tried PSI Offensive Up Omega
The team's offensive went up!

Heavily Armed Super-Pokey fired a barrage of missiles
999 HP of damage to Ness
999 HP of damage to Paula
999 HP of damage to Poo

By some miracle, they survived with 1 HP each.

Poo charged forward
narrowly missing hitting the target

Suddenly, Jeff ran back to the battle.

"Now, you evil fiend. See what happens when I combine science with spider powers!"
Jeff fired the Multi Spider Rocket
9999999999999999999999 HP of damage to Heavily Armed Super-Pokey

Heavily Armed Super-Pokey was defeated.

YOU WON!

Ness and his friends gained a freaking crap load of EXP

Everyone gained a level and everything went up except for Jeff's PP.

"No!" shouted Super-Pokey, his Spider Mech in ruins. "This isn't over! I will return!" Super-Pokey flew off to parts unknown. He later became trapped in a temple made of Kryptonite with no one to talk to except for Mr. Carpainter and a Mr. Saturn, but that's another story.

"Paula," said Ness. "I'm so glad you're alright."

"Yeah, thanks," replied Paula.

"Oh, oh, does this mean you two are getting back together?" inquired Jeff.

"As if! No way I'm ever going back out with him!" exclaimed Paula.

"But why not?" whined Ness with tears forming in his eyes.

"For one thing, you walk around naked without realizing it. Remember our date to Restaurant Summers?"

"Oh yeah," chuckled Poo. "That was priceless."

"Can it, Bathroom Boy," growled Ness. Then he smiled, "Hey wait, I made a funny. Can it. Get it, can? Like a toilet!"

"Yeah," said Jeff cynically. "We got it."

"And consider this," continued Paula. "When your hat was destroyed in Chapter 3, you went into Frenzy Mode and KO'd Floating Skull. When I was knocked out, you just got a SMASHing hit."

Ness looked down in shame. But then, he started laughing. His friends were bewildered.

"Ness, are you ok?" asked Jeff.

"Earilier, it said," gasped Ness between laughs. "That everything went up except for Jeff's PP! Hahahahaha!"

"……I don't get it," said Paula.

"Nor do I," agreed Poo.

"Ness, what are you talking about?" asked Jeff.

Ness suddenly stopped laughing. "Come to think of it, I have no idea."

Jeff sighed. "Oh well, let's get ice cream!"

And thus, Spider-Jeff defeated his foe and peace was restored. And Ness later realized that he was allergic to Rocky Road. No one cared. But will this peace last? Find out in Spider-Jeff 2: Marvel Idiots.

Spider-Jeff…Spider-Jeff,
Does whatever a spider can,
Spins a web…any size,
Catches thieves…just like flies,
Look out!
Here comes the Spider-Jeff!

Is he strong?…Listen bud,
He's got radioactive blood,
Can he swing…from a thread?
Take a look…overhead,
Hey there!
There goes the Spider-Jeff!

In the chill of night,
At the scene of the crime,
Like a stream of light,
He arrives just in time!

Spider-Jeff…Spider-Jeff,
Friendly neighborhood Spider-Jeff,
Wealth and fame…he's ignored,
Action is…his reward,
To him…!
Life is a great big bang up,
Wherever there's a hang up,
You'll find the Spider-Jeff!

After the ice cream, Ness went home. He had just entered his house when the phone started ringing. Ness picked it up.

"Hello, Ness? It's your father. I've deposited a freaking crap load of money in your account since you last called, but I blew it all in Vegas. Anyway, you have 383569257927 points of EXP left before the next level. Your dear old dad is thinking you should turn it for the night. What do you say?

Continue End

"Well we certainly make a great team, don't we? You should probably turn the POWER off instead of just hitting RESET."

EARTHBOUND

"Damn it! You hit RESET didn't you? I told you to turn the POWER off. Oh, you are SO in for it when I get home. I'm gonna teach you a…hey! Are you listening? Because if you're not then…"

click

THE END

It's over. My first fic…it's over.

Ivan: Didn't you say that there would be another chapter after this?

Yeah, but I decided to hurry up and finish it.

Flt. Sk.: DRX9's story was stupid, inane, ridiculous, and completely lacking of humor.

You're just jealous because you didn't think of it first.

Flt. Sk.: ……

B. B.: It was OK. Would've been better with me in it.

Yeah, whatever. Anyway, this is the end. Please, someone review. It would make my day, seriously. Come on, don't make me get Floating Skull to devour your soul.

Flt. Sk.: (grins maliciously)

Well, I'll start Spider-Jeff 2 after I do some work on some of my other fics. Check 'em out, and review on those too. Until then, this is DragonRaiderX9 saying sayonara.

B. B.: Saya what?

Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!