Disclaimer: I do not own anything used in this story except for my psycho ideas!
The day THEY came
Chapter 13: clean up in aisle 5!
"OOO! What's this!" Link ran up the aisle and picked up a small box.
Ed stood next to Link and grabbed the box. "It says… 'Trojan Condoms'. Specially lubricated to—"
"PUT THAT BACK!" I screamed and grabbed the box from Ed. When I realized that I had a box of condoms in my hand I immediately dropped it and walked away, dragging Link and Ed behind me.
"WHAT! There was a picture of a really good looking guy on the box! I was wondering how they got my picture!" Link said while trying to get away.
Down the next aisle I could see Rose with Shippo in her arms and holding InuYasha by his new leash. He didn't look too happy. Al on the other hand was looking for some oil for metal joints.
"What do you need that for?" I asked while looking at Al holding a can of WD-40.
"The air here is really weird and my joints are getting stiff." Al informed.
"You're an alchemist. Can't you just make some up?" Rose commented.
"Yeah…but I don't have all of the required components to do it. You see, alchemy is equivalent exchange. You must have the same amount of matter—"
"OK! PLEASE save me the sanity!" Rose stopped Al.
Just as Rose was trying to catch her breath it seemed like all hell was going to break loose. All of a sudden random objects started flying off of the shelves and started chasing people around.
"AHH! WATCH OUT FOR THE TUNA!" I screamed out towards Ed and Link.
"Huh? What? Are we in Lake Hylia?" Link asked, turning around. As soon as he turned around, ten cans of tuna started to attack him.
"AAHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Link ran around screaming like a girl and hit the nearest pole full force.
Fortunately, Ed was aware of the flying cans of tuna and drew a transmutation circle on the ground and made a fishing net.
"AH! COME HERE!" Ed ran around screaming, trying to catch the cans. Little to his knowledge there was a HUGE trout following him. Before Ed could react, the trout smacked him senseless and he fell to the ground swirly-eyed.
Shippo was running around everywhere trying to get away from the bottles of pop and cans of Spam chasing him. As if it were a trap, Shippo ran right into a paper grocery bag and was carried off to some random place.
Al on the other hand seemed to be defending himself quite nicely. I didn't blame him since he was a suit of armor. Just when I thought he was in the clear, hundreds of boxes of cereal, macaroni and cheese, and various other boxed foods swarmed Al and engulfed his body.
My right eye started to twitch when I watched what had just happened. I knew exactly what was going on; Amber was there. It was the only logical answer.
"AMBER! STOP NOW!" I screamed up at the ceiling. Some of the passerby's who were near stared at me as if I had gone psycho; which I was about to.
"What! I'm just having a little fun!" Amber answered back, continuing to throw food around. Out of no where a random bowl of tofu flew around the corner and smacked Rose in the face.
"ROSE!" I yelled and ran over to her. The leash that InuYasha had on fell off as Rose was left swirly-eyed just like Link and Ed. "AMBER! You can't do this in a supermarket! Let alone a public place!"
"Oh C'mon! You never let me have any fun!" Amber started to whine.
"Only because you're freakn' morbid!" I looked around and luckily found some bananas. "HEY! I'm warning you! Leave!" I said, holding up the banana.
"OK! OK! Seesh!" Amber said before a purple fog appeared, signaling that she left.
I took a deep breath in relief that Amber had left. My relaxation didn't last long though. Before I knew it InuYasha came running at full speed and ran right over me.
"PICKLES! RAMEN! I'm in heaven!" InuYasha shouted while eating several bowls of ramen and jars of pickles at the same time.
This was getting out of control. I thought that I would at least have SOME sanity while going to the supermarket. I guess not. I laid my head on the floor and started to think of what was going on with Nikki and the rest of the crew.
"Get out of there!" Nikki screamed while pulling Legolas out of the girls' panty drawer. "Those are GIRL'S underwear…you're a guy!"
"But they're pretty!" Legolas said while trying to break away.
"HENTAI!" Sango screamed, smacking Miroku over the head yet again.
"CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLS!" Frodo ran around while eating the bag of cheese balls.
"HEY! CATCH!" Gimili said while throwing Boromir (in his ferret form) to Aragorn.
Aragorn tried to catch the ferret but missed horribly. Boromir slammed right into the wall and just happened fall into the nearby trashcan.
"Oh my gosh! This light does NOTHING for my hair!" Zelda complained as she sat on the couch.
"Oh shut up…" Nikki said with her arms folded and sitting on the floor.
"I can't believe that chick is with MY InuYasha!" Kagome stomped around.
"CAN IT!" Nikki snapped. "Oh my gosh! I wish I would be knocked out right now!"
As if her wish was granted, the room started to shake and random objects were flying around everywhere. Everyone tried to take cover, but Miroku and Legolas were knocked unconscious by Gimili flying into them. Nikki was rendered helpless and knocked out when she somehow ended up in the kitchen sink.
"I WAN'T FOOD! I WANT FRIED FERRET!" Chibi shouted.
Now conscious, Boromir perked up and tried to get away. No luck. He was lifted up in the air and tied to a broken chair leg. Sango, Kagome and Zelda watched in a daze of what was going on.
"OH MY GOSH! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Zelda screamed after the shaking had stopped.
"You're a bit late for the uptake, blonde one." Kagome said annoyed.
"CHEESE BALLS!" Frodo said while jumping out of one of the cabinets.
"AHH!" Zelda screamed and fainted.
"Um…it's only Frodo…" Sango scratched her head.
"MMmmm…what smells so good?" Aragorn asked, smelling the air.
Before I could find out what was cooking, something hit my head and woke me up. I looked around and everything was still a mess. InuYasha was still eating the ramen and throwing the cups on top of me. Rose was finally awake and trying to revive Ed and Link. Al dug himself out and shippo was still missing.
"Uh…clean up in aisle five…" A voice said coming over the loudspeaker.
I looked up and saw that we were in "aisle five". "Hey…where's Shippo?" I asked while trying to unbury myself from all of the ramen cups.
"I don't know…but let's get out of here." Rose said with an extremely scared look on her face.
"Yeah…we're in SO much trouble…" I answered back while trying to stop InuYasha from eating.
"Not that! LOOK!" Rose pointed past me.
I turned around and saw a huge wave of fruit, vegetables, and cans of sardines coming our way. Everyone screamed and started running for the door.
While we were trying to make our getaway, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It was Shippo! He was wrapped in plastic and sitting with the packaged meats. As quickly as I could I grabbed Shippo and barely made it out the door.
"Well…I found him!" I exclaimed in joy and exhaustion.
"Good…but Link is still in there…" Rose said blankly.