Part Sixty-Four
A wintry sun was ready and waiting for Yvonne to gradually open her eyes on a day which had some mark in her life. Even revisiting Larkhall was something different, she reflected as she smoked her first cigarette. If the Yvonne Atkins who had been banged up by the screws had seen herself thinking that way, she would have thought that she needed her head examining. It was February the fifteenth and thank god the bleeding annual hearts and flowers crap is out the window and everything returned to normal, same as her Charlie used to. A calm feeling of self-acceptance bathed her as she had got over the worst of yesterday and the future lay out in front of her like an endless highway. When she was down in the dumps at Larkhall, it was only a matter of time before she got over it. It was funny that, at her lowest, she could never believe that there was a way out of it and the next day or so, she looked backwards and it always seemed only a matter of time before she got back to her old self-confident ways. In that frame of mind, she drove her car up to the familiar sidestreet that led to Larkhall and parked the car outside. She stared up at the high wooden gates while the wind ruffled her hair and stung her cheeks. She grinned to herself, imagining Bodybag inside huffing and puffing and dragging out giving the order to unlock the front gate. Prisons would be fine to her way of thinking if it weren't for the dratted prisoners. Sure enough a few minutes late, a door opened inside the gates and she and a few other women trooped through.
"Hi Ken," Yvonne called out to the stolid man whose clipboard seemed to be attached to him.
"Back again? I see more of you since you got out than ever before," His amiable banter greeted her.
"Excuse me, but which way do we go?" a very nervous middle class middle aged woman asked Yvonne. It was plain that this was all new to her. She was clearly bewildered by the sight of the high walls and the forbidding prisoners block which towered into the sky. "Is this your first time you've visited this place?" Yvonne asked gently. The other woman's manner reminded her vaguely of Monica Lindsay, the same posh motherly type who was clearly like a fish out of water.
"I've come here to visit my daughter Rita. I've never seen a prison in my life. I never thought I would live to see the day when my little girl ends up in a place like this." Yvonne put her arm round this woman's shoulders. She was obviously so caught up in her own nightmare that she was compelled to reach out to the nearest stranger to hand who looked sympathetic. What could she say about herself that would make her feel that this woman could relate to her except that she was another mother? She had to trust to that and her own instinctive sense of sympathy. All her own moaning about being alone on Valentine's day seemed bloody stupid in comparison.
"I've visited this place before. My daughter's on G Wing and if your Rita is there, she stands a good chance of being looked after. I mean it." Yvonne's soothing tones took the edge off the woman's fears of her daughter being metaphorically dumped into a tank full of sharks and torn. She could see it and feel it.
"You follow Yvonne and she'll show you where to go," Called out Ken.
While another prison officer went on ahead of Yvonne, the other two women followed Yvonne's lead. Old instincts died hard or not at all as the case may be.
On the other side of the prison walls, Lauren was keyed up with excitement and was attending to a last minute adjustment in her makeup. Female Atkins values dictated this at all times. She turned round and glanced round at Denny.
"Hey Denny, wish me luck." A vague mumble came from the vague huddled shape in the upper bunk. For some inexplicable reason, Denny had taken herself there immediately after mornings activities the first chance that she got. It was becoming a noticeable habit, so unlike the positive caring big sister who had sustained her all this time. After the tremendous news of the trial, Denny ought to be happy for her as she had nursed her unselfishly right from the first day she had entered Larkhall. She couldn't understand it.
"I'll pass on your love to Yvonne, Denny and tell her how you're getting on." "Do what you want, man. I just want to be left on my own."
The Julies were manhandling mops and buckets but they stopped when they saw Lauren heading for the visitor's room.
"Tell us how Yvonne's going on and give her our love." "Our love, yeah," Julie Johnson echoed.
Lauren grinned with all the confidence in the world and turned and waved in general to the others. She had taken a couple of paces when Gina appeared and smiled in her friendly fashion.
"I expect you and Yvonne will be feeling more cheerful since she saw you before the trial." Lauren's big smile was answer enough for her.
"Well, don't go upsetting Sylvia. You know how easily she gets upset by you and your mother within fifty miles of her." Lauren was about to move on when a thought struck her mind. There was no better time than the present.
"Is it all right if I ask you a question, Miss Rossi?" "Go on," Gina answered warily. Though the kid was friendly to her without an ounce of harm in her when you got to treat her properly, her look of angelic innocence looked a little too good to be true.
"Is there anything in the rumour that Miss Barker isn't coming back to G wing?" How do Atkins women always find out the news round Larkhall almost before it's happened, Gina wondered to herself? "Now that would be telling." Gina started to move away as she spoke but her broad grin from ear to ear told Lauren exactly what she wanted to know.
In the meantime, Yvonne made her way along the corridors towards that very familiar room which, a lifetime ago, she had always seen from the prisoner's viewpoint, sitting at the table and waiting for the first sight of Lauren. She was chatting to the other woman To prepare her for what was to come.
"You go into this big room and your daughter, like mine, will be wearing this bright orange bib. There will be a prison officer or two on duty at this big desk and they'll tell you what the crack is. If you're lucky, you'll get a decent one. All of them are a bit iffy about all that hugs and kisses sort of stuff only as it is used as a way of getting drugs brought in." The woman nodded, trying to take it all in while the prison officer let Yvonne go ahead with her explanation. He was new to the prison service and what Yvonne said sounded pretty reasonable to him but he was glad that Sylvia wasn't with them, as she would have blown a fit on principle. "….Oh yes, they'll frisk you before you go in." The other woman turned visibly nervous when she heard this news. "Don't worry, love. It will be all right." Yvonne's gentle voice reassured her as she did to anyone she took under her wing. It was what she did best at Larkhall and this entirely random meeting reminded her of something she was best at. Soon they milled around in the anteroom as other visitors filed in behind them. The prison officers methodically searched them all, one at a time, in a correct and businesslike fashion. Selena was one of them who took part and she exchanged a brief word with Yvonne. Now was the moment of truth as the doors opened up.
"We're out of luck. That's Sylvia Hollamby in charge over there." She gestured to the scowling woman whose fixed gaze picked out Yvonne immediately.
"What's wrong with her?" "Oh, nothing much. It's just that if she had her way, prisoners would be locked up twenty four seven and only let out to break rocks on Dartmoor. As for home visits, that would be right out of the window. They're not all bad though. There are some decent prison officers among them." The other woman was slightly reassured at the end, the way Yvonne's cynical tones softened at the end. In Yvonne's mind, old loyalties died not at all.
"Hi Dominic," Yvonne added, smiling in return at his unfailing friendly presence.
"He's one of the good ones." The room suddenly became a cacophony of echoing voices, which disorientated the other woman. At the same time that Yvonne spotted Lauren waving at her, Rita was sitting a few tables away and spotted her mother.Rita was this rock of certainty to cling to in this whirlpool of strange crowded humanity. "You look great, Lauren." Yvonne admired the glowing look of the younger woman who looked so like her old self, the Lauren that she always liked to remember. "Yeah, everything's fine now, mum. I know that I've got another year inside, with luck less than that and at least I know where I am." Lauren went on to chatter away about all the everyday little incidents and Yvonne could see her as the mirror image of herself, only younger. She had an eye for everything round Larkhall, the same way that Yvonne used to be.
"Guess what, mum, I've got some good news." Yvonne leaned forward into safe whispering distance and smiled in anticipation.
"I think Di Barker is off G Wing for good. Gina told me in not so many words." A huge grin split Yvonne's face. Revenge is sweet even if exacted by proxy, care of Karen. At that point, Bodybag stared round suspiciously at her number one enemies and sensed trouble.
"So that's why she's got a face like a smacked arse?" Yvonne deliberately kept her voice pitched low but enough to entice Bodybag to interfere and walk right into the trap as she always did.
"Hey, Sylvia, Miss, I haven't seen much of Miss Barker.I so much wanted to talk to her about old times." "Humph. None of your business, Atkins. You're just a visitor these days, don't you forget it. You don't run this place." "No but Karen, sorry, Miss Betts does," taunted Yvonne.
"Just because you were once in Madam's bed, doesn't mean to say she'll go soft on your daughter." "Jealous are you ,Sylvia?" Yvonne's smirk drove Bodybag to promptly hide herself very conspicuously behind a women's magazine. Prisoner's friend down the far end of the room could look after everything. Dominic's gaze and his cheery smile met Yvonne's in mutual conspiracy as the days of verbal fencing at his expense were long past. "How's Denny?" Yvonne enquired. Lauren's face clouded over.
"I don't know, mum. She's changed overnight since the trial ended. Up till then, she was the supportive one, always propping me up when I went through one of my depressions. Since then, she's taken to her bunk when she gets the chance and is down in the dumps. She won't talk about it or anything much these days." "Is she using?" Yvonne asked bluntly.
"Not that I know of. I haven't seen anything that's obvious." Yvonne's eyebrows were furrowed in deep thought. Ain't it just her luck when one daughter is going up in the world, the other suddenly plunges down to rock bottom. "Is it anything to do with the two of us?" "Unless I've missed something that's right under my nose, I'd say not," Lauren replied with slow convincing certainty.
"Well you keep…." Started Yvonne when Bodybag surfaced to loudly announce the end of visiting at the precise second.
"Love you, mum. You look after yourself while I'm away. It won't be for ever." Impulsively, Yvonne hugged Lauren and kissed her on her cheek. Lauren saw through her and knew very well how Yvonne had been getting on, or not as was the case. It was very strange to be on the outside waiting on the day that your nearest and dearest gets free. In the past, she was that nearest and dearest.
As Yvonne left the waiting room, tut tutting at the defective vending machine much to Bodybag's exasperation, her temporary amusement was clouded over in worrying about Denny. She needed to get to the bottom of it.
A wintry sun was ready and waiting for Yvonne to gradually open her eyes on a day which had some mark in her life. Even revisiting Larkhall was something different, she reflected as she smoked her first cigarette. If the Yvonne Atkins who had been banged up by the screws had seen herself thinking that way, she would have thought that she needed her head examining. It was February the fifteenth and thank god the bleeding annual hearts and flowers crap is out the window and everything returned to normal, same as her Charlie used to. A calm feeling of self-acceptance bathed her as she had got over the worst of yesterday and the future lay out in front of her like an endless highway. When she was down in the dumps at Larkhall, it was only a matter of time before she got over it. It was funny that, at her lowest, she could never believe that there was a way out of it and the next day or so, she looked backwards and it always seemed only a matter of time before she got back to her old self-confident ways. In that frame of mind, she drove her car up to the familiar sidestreet that led to Larkhall and parked the car outside. She stared up at the high wooden gates while the wind ruffled her hair and stung her cheeks. She grinned to herself, imagining Bodybag inside huffing and puffing and dragging out giving the order to unlock the front gate. Prisons would be fine to her way of thinking if it weren't for the dratted prisoners. Sure enough a few minutes late, a door opened inside the gates and she and a few other women trooped through.
"Hi Ken," Yvonne called out to the stolid man whose clipboard seemed to be attached to him.
"Back again? I see more of you since you got out than ever before," His amiable banter greeted her.
"Excuse me, but which way do we go?" a very nervous middle class middle aged woman asked Yvonne. It was plain that this was all new to her. She was clearly bewildered by the sight of the high walls and the forbidding prisoners block which towered into the sky. "Is this your first time you've visited this place?" Yvonne asked gently. The other woman's manner reminded her vaguely of Monica Lindsay, the same posh motherly type who was clearly like a fish out of water.
"I've come here to visit my daughter Rita. I've never seen a prison in my life. I never thought I would live to see the day when my little girl ends up in a place like this." Yvonne put her arm round this woman's shoulders. She was obviously so caught up in her own nightmare that she was compelled to reach out to the nearest stranger to hand who looked sympathetic. What could she say about herself that would make her feel that this woman could relate to her except that she was another mother? She had to trust to that and her own instinctive sense of sympathy. All her own moaning about being alone on Valentine's day seemed bloody stupid in comparison.
"I've visited this place before. My daughter's on G Wing and if your Rita is there, she stands a good chance of being looked after. I mean it." Yvonne's soothing tones took the edge off the woman's fears of her daughter being metaphorically dumped into a tank full of sharks and torn. She could see it and feel it.
"You follow Yvonne and she'll show you where to go," Called out Ken.
While another prison officer went on ahead of Yvonne, the other two women followed Yvonne's lead. Old instincts died hard or not at all as the case may be.
On the other side of the prison walls, Lauren was keyed up with excitement and was attending to a last minute adjustment in her makeup. Female Atkins values dictated this at all times. She turned round and glanced round at Denny.
"Hey Denny, wish me luck." A vague mumble came from the vague huddled shape in the upper bunk. For some inexplicable reason, Denny had taken herself there immediately after mornings activities the first chance that she got. It was becoming a noticeable habit, so unlike the positive caring big sister who had sustained her all this time. After the tremendous news of the trial, Denny ought to be happy for her as she had nursed her unselfishly right from the first day she had entered Larkhall. She couldn't understand it.
"I'll pass on your love to Yvonne, Denny and tell her how you're getting on." "Do what you want, man. I just want to be left on my own."
The Julies were manhandling mops and buckets but they stopped when they saw Lauren heading for the visitor's room.
"Tell us how Yvonne's going on and give her our love." "Our love, yeah," Julie Johnson echoed.
Lauren grinned with all the confidence in the world and turned and waved in general to the others. She had taken a couple of paces when Gina appeared and smiled in her friendly fashion.
"I expect you and Yvonne will be feeling more cheerful since she saw you before the trial." Lauren's big smile was answer enough for her.
"Well, don't go upsetting Sylvia. You know how easily she gets upset by you and your mother within fifty miles of her." Lauren was about to move on when a thought struck her mind. There was no better time than the present.
"Is it all right if I ask you a question, Miss Rossi?" "Go on," Gina answered warily. Though the kid was friendly to her without an ounce of harm in her when you got to treat her properly, her look of angelic innocence looked a little too good to be true.
"Is there anything in the rumour that Miss Barker isn't coming back to G wing?" How do Atkins women always find out the news round Larkhall almost before it's happened, Gina wondered to herself? "Now that would be telling." Gina started to move away as she spoke but her broad grin from ear to ear told Lauren exactly what she wanted to know.
In the meantime, Yvonne made her way along the corridors towards that very familiar room which, a lifetime ago, she had always seen from the prisoner's viewpoint, sitting at the table and waiting for the first sight of Lauren. She was chatting to the other woman To prepare her for what was to come.
"You go into this big room and your daughter, like mine, will be wearing this bright orange bib. There will be a prison officer or two on duty at this big desk and they'll tell you what the crack is. If you're lucky, you'll get a decent one. All of them are a bit iffy about all that hugs and kisses sort of stuff only as it is used as a way of getting drugs brought in." The woman nodded, trying to take it all in while the prison officer let Yvonne go ahead with her explanation. He was new to the prison service and what Yvonne said sounded pretty reasonable to him but he was glad that Sylvia wasn't with them, as she would have blown a fit on principle. "….Oh yes, they'll frisk you before you go in." The other woman turned visibly nervous when she heard this news. "Don't worry, love. It will be all right." Yvonne's gentle voice reassured her as she did to anyone she took under her wing. It was what she did best at Larkhall and this entirely random meeting reminded her of something she was best at. Soon they milled around in the anteroom as other visitors filed in behind them. The prison officers methodically searched them all, one at a time, in a correct and businesslike fashion. Selena was one of them who took part and she exchanged a brief word with Yvonne. Now was the moment of truth as the doors opened up.
"We're out of luck. That's Sylvia Hollamby in charge over there." She gestured to the scowling woman whose fixed gaze picked out Yvonne immediately.
"What's wrong with her?" "Oh, nothing much. It's just that if she had her way, prisoners would be locked up twenty four seven and only let out to break rocks on Dartmoor. As for home visits, that would be right out of the window. They're not all bad though. There are some decent prison officers among them." The other woman was slightly reassured at the end, the way Yvonne's cynical tones softened at the end. In Yvonne's mind, old loyalties died not at all.
"Hi Dominic," Yvonne added, smiling in return at his unfailing friendly presence.
"He's one of the good ones." The room suddenly became a cacophony of echoing voices, which disorientated the other woman. At the same time that Yvonne spotted Lauren waving at her, Rita was sitting a few tables away and spotted her mother.Rita was this rock of certainty to cling to in this whirlpool of strange crowded humanity. "You look great, Lauren." Yvonne admired the glowing look of the younger woman who looked so like her old self, the Lauren that she always liked to remember. "Yeah, everything's fine now, mum. I know that I've got another year inside, with luck less than that and at least I know where I am." Lauren went on to chatter away about all the everyday little incidents and Yvonne could see her as the mirror image of herself, only younger. She had an eye for everything round Larkhall, the same way that Yvonne used to be.
"Guess what, mum, I've got some good news." Yvonne leaned forward into safe whispering distance and smiled in anticipation.
"I think Di Barker is off G Wing for good. Gina told me in not so many words." A huge grin split Yvonne's face. Revenge is sweet even if exacted by proxy, care of Karen. At that point, Bodybag stared round suspiciously at her number one enemies and sensed trouble.
"So that's why she's got a face like a smacked arse?" Yvonne deliberately kept her voice pitched low but enough to entice Bodybag to interfere and walk right into the trap as she always did.
"Hey, Sylvia, Miss, I haven't seen much of Miss Barker.I so much wanted to talk to her about old times." "Humph. None of your business, Atkins. You're just a visitor these days, don't you forget it. You don't run this place." "No but Karen, sorry, Miss Betts does," taunted Yvonne.
"Just because you were once in Madam's bed, doesn't mean to say she'll go soft on your daughter." "Jealous are you ,Sylvia?" Yvonne's smirk drove Bodybag to promptly hide herself very conspicuously behind a women's magazine. Prisoner's friend down the far end of the room could look after everything. Dominic's gaze and his cheery smile met Yvonne's in mutual conspiracy as the days of verbal fencing at his expense were long past. "How's Denny?" Yvonne enquired. Lauren's face clouded over.
"I don't know, mum. She's changed overnight since the trial ended. Up till then, she was the supportive one, always propping me up when I went through one of my depressions. Since then, she's taken to her bunk when she gets the chance and is down in the dumps. She won't talk about it or anything much these days." "Is she using?" Yvonne asked bluntly.
"Not that I know of. I haven't seen anything that's obvious." Yvonne's eyebrows were furrowed in deep thought. Ain't it just her luck when one daughter is going up in the world, the other suddenly plunges down to rock bottom. "Is it anything to do with the two of us?" "Unless I've missed something that's right under my nose, I'd say not," Lauren replied with slow convincing certainty.
"Well you keep…." Started Yvonne when Bodybag surfaced to loudly announce the end of visiting at the precise second.
"Love you, mum. You look after yourself while I'm away. It won't be for ever." Impulsively, Yvonne hugged Lauren and kissed her on her cheek. Lauren saw through her and knew very well how Yvonne had been getting on, or not as was the case. It was very strange to be on the outside waiting on the day that your nearest and dearest gets free. In the past, she was that nearest and dearest.
As Yvonne left the waiting room, tut tutting at the defective vending machine much to Bodybag's exasperation, her temporary amusement was clouded over in worrying about Denny. She needed to get to the bottom of it.