A/N: Betaed by Jen.
Part Sixty-Six
As Karen drove into work on the Monday morning, she found herself praying to some unknown deity that Denny wasn't about to go through what Roisin had all that time ago. She knew that Denny had used and dealt drugs before, but she'd perhaps mistakenly thought Denny was passed all that now. But Denny was clearly in a very bad emotional state, and it was up to Karen to try to do something about it. When she'd woken at around eleven on Saturday morning, George had gone, but she'd left a note on the table in the lounge, saying that she had a lot of work to do and thought she may as well leave Karen to sleep. Karen half smiled as she thought of George's reaction to her having to work on the Friday night. But then her smile faded. If work was encroaching on her personal life now, what would it be like if she got the job of Governing Governor? But G wing was her immediate priority, with Denny taking centre stage.
"How's Denny Blood been over the weekend?" Was one of the first things Karen asked at the early morning meeting. "As jumpy as a monkey on a stick," Was Sylvia's curt reply. "Quite jittery and unpredictable," Colin clarified. "Clucking from something if you ask me," Sylvia finished off. "But then you'd know that if you did a decent day's work like the rest of us." "What did it look like I was doing on Friday night?" Quipped back Karen, really not in the mood for Sylvia's antics, but never quite able to resist rising to the bait. "Hmmm! Do half a night shift and you think you know it all." "Well, I have done a decent day's work, week in week out, when I was a prison officer like yourself, Sylvia. I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't, now would I?" Karen was trying to keep her voice steady, but Sylvia always managed to make her furious, and always on a Monday morning too. "And there aren't many Wing Governors who'd do night shifts just like the rest of us, Sylv, so give it a rest," Dominic interjected. "Yeah, I bet you didn't do any in your short stint as Wing Governor, did you, Sylvia?" Gina put in quietly, immediately having the desired effect. "No, Sylvia just hid dead bodies in the chapel," Selena reminded them. "You weren't even here then, Geeson," Sylvia said angrily. "Okay, folks," Karen said, trying to calm everyone down. "We don't have time for this. Sylvia, can you bring Denny Blood to my office at eleven, please?" "What for? If she's back on the nasty, she ought to be tested and punished just like the rest of them." "Just do it," Karen said smartly, inviting no argument.
After putting herself to sleep with a downer on the Friday night, Denny had attempted to stay clean all weekend, but it was an uphill struggle. It was amazing, how easy she'd found it to start taking drugs again. But all she'd had to do was to do a little bit of trade with Darlene. But Miss Betts had known, she'd known exactly what Denny had done, and when it came to Monday morning, Denny knew the time had come for her to face the music. Denny wasn't stupid, she knew she'd screwed up, but didn't everyone? Didn't everyone, just once in a while fuck things up? She'd been doing it all her life, so why stop now. When Bodybag had come to let them out first thing, she'd looked down her nose at Denny, even more than usual. "The Governor wants to see you at eleven o'clock, Blood, so make sure you're back on the wing, because I'm not chasing all over the prison looking for you." "Yes, Miss," Denny said quietly. "If I had my way, you'd be back in segregation, but Madam always has to do things differently," Were Sylvia's parting comments. "Karen will go easy on you," Lauren said, as they made their way towards the servery for breakfast. "Ain't no reason why she should, is there?" Denny said miserably. "So you've had one little lapse, that's nothing compared to some in here," Lauren tried to reassure her. "I made a deal with her, Lauren, and I went back on it. That's all there is to it."
When Denny was shown into Karen's office at the appointed time, she didn't know whether to hold her head high in her usual belligerent attitude, or to avoid Karen's gaze like the guilty one she was. Karen saw this moment of indecision on Denny's face, and could see plainly that Denny did know she'd done wrong. "Sit down," She said kindly, moving out from behind the barrier of her desk. To Denny's amazement, Karen asked her secretary to bring them some tea. "How are you feeling?" She asked, taking a seat near Denny and offering her a cigarette. "Not bad," Denny replied, gratefully taking the proffered cigarette. "It ain't like I haven't done cold turkey before." "And what we need to talk about," Karen said slowly. "Is why you've had to go through it again." Denny went and stayed very quiet. "Talk to me, Denny," Karen persisted. "Because this isn't like you, not any more. A few years ago, I'd have put it down to the way you were, but not now. You've been doing so well over the last few months." "Yeah, and for what?" Denny demanded angrily. "Denny, don't you want to get out of here one day?" Karen asked, trying to keep her voice as calm as possible. "I'm not sure any more," Denny replied dully, showing Karen just how low she really was. "If you could do anything in the whole world, what would it be?" Denny spent a moment or two thinking about this. "If Shaz was still here, then I'd want to be out there, making a life for the two of us, for when she got out. That was all I ever wanted. A long time ago, I used to think that about my mum, but you know what happened to her. She preferred the bottle over me, and ended up dying in the gutter. But with Shaz gone, I don't really know what I want." "Don't you want to get out, to be with Yvonne?" "Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't. Yvonne couldn't have done better by me, I know that, but I don't want her to keep being good to me, just because she feels she has to. I've got to know Lauren really well over the last year, and Yvonne couldn't want for anything better in a daughter." Karen just managed to bite back the comment that Yvonne could have done with a daughter who didn't feel the need to commit murder. The fact that Denny saw Lauren, the woman who had killed a prison officer, to be all that Yvonne could want in a daughter, was something Karen thrust to the back of her mind to be dealt with later. "Denny, if you thought you had a reason to get out of here, would that make it easier?" "Maybe," Denny conceded. "I'm sorry I did drugs again, I'm sorry I went back on our deal." "It didn't exactly help that Fenner wasn't around to get what he deserved, did it?" Karen said quietly. "No," Denny said miserably. "I couldn't ever slag off what Lauren did, but Fenner should have suffered, I mean really suffered for what he did to Shell, and to you," Denny added, remembering just why the deal had been struck in the first place. "Where do you want to go from here, Denny?" Karen asked. "Because I'm at a loss as to how to stop you going down your old self-destructive path." Denny thought long and hard about this. Why wasn't Miss Betts doing what the screws normally did when someone took drugs? Why wasn't she just giving her days down the block and washing her hands of the situation? Denny didn't know. "Miss, why are you being so nice to me?" Denny asked in a small voice, feeling as though she really didn't deserve it. "Because coming down heavy on you almost certainly wouldn't work, would it," Karen stated, knowing it was true. "From your record, I know that it hasn't worked in the past, so maybe it's time to try something new. You usually need an incentive to do something, which in this place is perfectly understandable. The prospect of Fenner being punished for how he'd treated Shell, that was an enormous incentive for you, which is why you tried so hard to keep your nose clean. But now, that's gone. I want to help you, Denny, not punish you again and again, because we both know that isn't what you need. You will get your parole one day, and that time shouldn't be too far away. But you won't get it, if you slide back in to shoving any narcotic substance up your nose or down your throat, just to blot out how miserable you feel. I also know that you've heard every word I'm saying, at least a dozen times before." After first raising her eyes to Karen's in question, Denny took another cigarette from the packet and lit it from the Zippo Karen held for her. "Miss, would I be able to see Shell?" Denny's question was certainly like a bolt from the blue, not something Karen had been expecting at all. "I'm not sure. Why?" "If it was something that was possible at some point in the future, it might give me something to work towards. I haven't even been able to write to Shell since she's been in that place and it would just be nice to see her again. No matter how much shit Shell managed to get us both into, it was always me who got us out. I know you went to see her before Fenner was killed, but that was the last Shell saw of anyone from Larkhall. It's just something I'd like to do, for me and for Shell." Karen looked at Denny through the cigarette smoke. She just might have a point here. Karen had exchanged the odd letter here and there with Shell, telling her about anyone she asked after, trying to keep her in touch with something normal, something she'd once regarded as home. But if Denny could have contact with Shell, that might do them both good. It would give Shell a link back to Larkhall, to the one place where she'd been liked and cared for, to a certain extent, and for Denny, it would give her something new to focus on. "I'm not promising anything," Karen said slowly. "But I'll look into it. There'll be a lot of red tape for me to wade through, in order for this to even be considered, and in the meantime, you need to stay off the drugs. I'm going to enroll you on the frequent testing programme," And at Denny's attempt to protest, she added, "And this isn't negotiable. Denny, I can't ignore the fact that you've become involved with drugs again, you know that. I want to make sure you stay off drugs, and going by this weekend's performance, your word obviously isn't enough." "I won't do it again, Miss, I promise," Denny insisted. "Say that to me at the end of this week, when you're desperate to get to sleep because of all the thoughts running round in your head that you can't control," Karen said challengingly. "I know how it is, Denny, and I know that your word to me is going to be sorely tested over the next few weeks. You might have got through the last couple of days, but time can go very slowly in this place, and I know just as well as you do, that time is something you really don't need when you're trying to escape from everything that's going on in here," She finished gently, tapping her forehead. "So, just take it one day at a time, and the frequent testing programme will keep me informed as to whether or not you really are staying off the Benzos." "I'm sorry," Denny said in a small, quiet voice. "I know," Karen said gently. "Now, the other thing I need to talk to you about is whether or not you want Yvonne told about this." "No," Denny said hurriedly. "Please, don't tell Yvonne. She'd be so ashamed of me," She finished quietly. "Denny, Yvonne knows how it is in this place," Karen tried to reassure her. "And she might be able to help you. She can almost certainly help you better than I can." "No, please, Miss, you mustn't tell Yvonne. Please," Denny begged, with the wide, frightened eyes of a fox, caught in the proverbial jaws of the hound, and about to be shaken to death. "All right," Karen said gently, trying to calm her down. "But please try and talk to her, about wanting to visit Shell, if nothing else." "Okay," Denny conceded. "And Miss, thanks, for not sending me down the block." "Well, I may not be so amenable next time," Karen said firmly. "Just remember that. I'm trying something new with you, but only because any previous punishment hasn't worked. So yes, you are being given a chance, but I will punish you in the usual way if your current behaviour continues. Is that understood?" "Yes, Miss," Denny said meekly, leaving the office a little while later, with the knowledge that somehow, she had to get through this without going back on any drugs. How successful this would be, she didn't know.
When Denny had gone, Karen walked up to Neil's office. She knew that she couldn't make this type of decision on her own. Denny had specifically said that she didn't want Yvonne informed of what was going on, but Karen knew at the same time, that Denny needed some proof from Yvonne that she had something to get out of prison for. Neil was on the phone when she knocked on his door and entered, so he held up a hand, and gestured her to take a seat. Karen took the opportunity to take a good look at his office. If everything went to plan, this might be hers in the not too distant future. When he replaced the receiver, he gave Karen a smile. "That was the accounts department at area, to inform me that we've over spent on our annual budget for the third year running, as if I didn't know already." "I need to make a decision," Karen came straight to the point. "And I think it needs your input." "I'm all ears," Neil replied, folding his hands in front of him on the desk. "Denny Blood has started taking drugs again. I've talked to her, put her on the frequent testing programme, and warned her as to her future conduct, but I think Yvonne needs to be put in the picture about this. Denny needs some kind of proof that she's got a reason to want to get out of here. Denny has specifically begged me not to inform Yvonne about this, but as Yvonne is the closest thing Denny has to a next of kin, I think I ought to tell her." Taking a moment to assimilate the facts in front of him, Neil took in a deep breath. "If you were sitting in my chair, and I was a Wing Governor, having come to you with a similar problem, what would you do?" "I would get to grips with all the facts of the case, find out exactly what the person in question intended doing about it, and if I agreed with them, leave them to it." "Well, there you are then," Neil said succinctly. "I don't need to tell you what to do, do I?" "I just wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing," Karen said quietly. "And in this instance, informing Yvonne Atkins is the right thing. Karen, in two months time, you hopefully will be sitting in this chair, having to make these kinds of decisions, without any support or hindrance from above." "Neil, I wish you wouldn't bank everything on my getting the job," Karen said tartly. "It might never happen, you know." "I know, I know," Neil said placatingly. "But what I'm doing, is trying to prepare you for the possibility that it might. Holding the position of Governing Governor, means that you will have to make decisions with this level of magnitude on a daily basis. The sooner you get used to it, the better." "I'm sorry," Karen said quietly. "I just want to get this right, that's all." "Why does Denny Blood get to you so much?" "You're starting to sound like Gina," Karen replied dryly. "Then, if two of us are saying it, don't you think there might be something in it?" "I suppose I feel a little responsible for the fact that someone I was briefly involved with, was indirectly to blame for the death of her girlfriend." "Which is precisely why," Neil said slowly and quietly. "You need to step back from the situation, and re-examine it from a purely professional perspective. Karen, other than the fact that she is one of the inmates under your care, Daniella Blood's problems are not your responsibility. However, on this occasion, I agree with your judgment, that Yvonne Atkins may be the key to Getting Ms Blood back on track." Karen stayed quiet for a moment, just watching him. Neil was absolutely right, she knew that. So why did she always let it get to her? It wasn't her fault that Snowball Merriman had blown up the library, taking Shaz Wiley with it, but that didn't mean she could always stand back from Denny's case, and deal with it from a purely professional angle.
Back in her office, she reached for the phone. Yvonne had to be informed about this, but it had to be done gently. Yvonne sounded pleased to hear from her, but Karen didn't know how long this was going to last. "We need to talk," She said slowly. "About Denny." "So, I was right," Yvonne said gloomily. "She is using again." "You knew?" Karen sounded surprised. "No, I just wondered. I asked Lauren when I last saw her, but she didn't know." "Yes, she is using again, and I really shouldn't be telling you this. But I think you're the only one who might be able to get through to her." "Go on, fill me in," Yvonne invited, briefly taking Karen back to the times when they'd exchanged confidences without a second thought. "She doesn't think she's got anything to get out for," Karen said slowly. "She thinks that once Lauren's release date arrives, you won't need her any more." "But that's ridiculous," Yvonne insisted. "Oh, I know," Karen agreed. "She's just losing faith in everything at the moment." "I know how she feels," Yvonne said dryly, hurting Karen far more than she'd intended to. "I've put her on the frequent testing programme," Karen continued, trying to ignore Yvonne's innocent twist of the knife. "And I haven't given her any days in segregation. I asked her what she might consider an incentive to stay clean, and she said that she wanted to see Shell." "Dockley?" Yvonne asked in surprise. "The very same. So, I'm going to see what I can do on that score, but I've made her no promises. I don't want to come down heavy on her, Yvonne, but I'm going to have to if she doesn't improve. The thing is, she specifically asked me not to tell you, so if you do talk to her about it, she mustn't think you already know." "Okay," Yvonne replied, hearing in Karen's voice that the throwaway jibe she'd made hadn't gone unnoticed. "I'll see what I can do. I'm coming in to visit her on Sunday, so I'll talk to her then. Thanks, for not washing your hands of her." As Karen ended the call, she reflected that short, brief relationships always did make a difference to friendships, no matter how much you didn't want them to. She and Yvonne were different with each other now, and Karen realised that she would give anything to go back to the way they'd been before that bloody game of spin the bottle.
Part Sixty-Six
As Karen drove into work on the Monday morning, she found herself praying to some unknown deity that Denny wasn't about to go through what Roisin had all that time ago. She knew that Denny had used and dealt drugs before, but she'd perhaps mistakenly thought Denny was passed all that now. But Denny was clearly in a very bad emotional state, and it was up to Karen to try to do something about it. When she'd woken at around eleven on Saturday morning, George had gone, but she'd left a note on the table in the lounge, saying that she had a lot of work to do and thought she may as well leave Karen to sleep. Karen half smiled as she thought of George's reaction to her having to work on the Friday night. But then her smile faded. If work was encroaching on her personal life now, what would it be like if she got the job of Governing Governor? But G wing was her immediate priority, with Denny taking centre stage.
"How's Denny Blood been over the weekend?" Was one of the first things Karen asked at the early morning meeting. "As jumpy as a monkey on a stick," Was Sylvia's curt reply. "Quite jittery and unpredictable," Colin clarified. "Clucking from something if you ask me," Sylvia finished off. "But then you'd know that if you did a decent day's work like the rest of us." "What did it look like I was doing on Friday night?" Quipped back Karen, really not in the mood for Sylvia's antics, but never quite able to resist rising to the bait. "Hmmm! Do half a night shift and you think you know it all." "Well, I have done a decent day's work, week in week out, when I was a prison officer like yourself, Sylvia. I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't, now would I?" Karen was trying to keep her voice steady, but Sylvia always managed to make her furious, and always on a Monday morning too. "And there aren't many Wing Governors who'd do night shifts just like the rest of us, Sylv, so give it a rest," Dominic interjected. "Yeah, I bet you didn't do any in your short stint as Wing Governor, did you, Sylvia?" Gina put in quietly, immediately having the desired effect. "No, Sylvia just hid dead bodies in the chapel," Selena reminded them. "You weren't even here then, Geeson," Sylvia said angrily. "Okay, folks," Karen said, trying to calm everyone down. "We don't have time for this. Sylvia, can you bring Denny Blood to my office at eleven, please?" "What for? If she's back on the nasty, she ought to be tested and punished just like the rest of them." "Just do it," Karen said smartly, inviting no argument.
After putting herself to sleep with a downer on the Friday night, Denny had attempted to stay clean all weekend, but it was an uphill struggle. It was amazing, how easy she'd found it to start taking drugs again. But all she'd had to do was to do a little bit of trade with Darlene. But Miss Betts had known, she'd known exactly what Denny had done, and when it came to Monday morning, Denny knew the time had come for her to face the music. Denny wasn't stupid, she knew she'd screwed up, but didn't everyone? Didn't everyone, just once in a while fuck things up? She'd been doing it all her life, so why stop now. When Bodybag had come to let them out first thing, she'd looked down her nose at Denny, even more than usual. "The Governor wants to see you at eleven o'clock, Blood, so make sure you're back on the wing, because I'm not chasing all over the prison looking for you." "Yes, Miss," Denny said quietly. "If I had my way, you'd be back in segregation, but Madam always has to do things differently," Were Sylvia's parting comments. "Karen will go easy on you," Lauren said, as they made their way towards the servery for breakfast. "Ain't no reason why she should, is there?" Denny said miserably. "So you've had one little lapse, that's nothing compared to some in here," Lauren tried to reassure her. "I made a deal with her, Lauren, and I went back on it. That's all there is to it."
When Denny was shown into Karen's office at the appointed time, she didn't know whether to hold her head high in her usual belligerent attitude, or to avoid Karen's gaze like the guilty one she was. Karen saw this moment of indecision on Denny's face, and could see plainly that Denny did know she'd done wrong. "Sit down," She said kindly, moving out from behind the barrier of her desk. To Denny's amazement, Karen asked her secretary to bring them some tea. "How are you feeling?" She asked, taking a seat near Denny and offering her a cigarette. "Not bad," Denny replied, gratefully taking the proffered cigarette. "It ain't like I haven't done cold turkey before." "And what we need to talk about," Karen said slowly. "Is why you've had to go through it again." Denny went and stayed very quiet. "Talk to me, Denny," Karen persisted. "Because this isn't like you, not any more. A few years ago, I'd have put it down to the way you were, but not now. You've been doing so well over the last few months." "Yeah, and for what?" Denny demanded angrily. "Denny, don't you want to get out of here one day?" Karen asked, trying to keep her voice as calm as possible. "I'm not sure any more," Denny replied dully, showing Karen just how low she really was. "If you could do anything in the whole world, what would it be?" Denny spent a moment or two thinking about this. "If Shaz was still here, then I'd want to be out there, making a life for the two of us, for when she got out. That was all I ever wanted. A long time ago, I used to think that about my mum, but you know what happened to her. She preferred the bottle over me, and ended up dying in the gutter. But with Shaz gone, I don't really know what I want." "Don't you want to get out, to be with Yvonne?" "Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't. Yvonne couldn't have done better by me, I know that, but I don't want her to keep being good to me, just because she feels she has to. I've got to know Lauren really well over the last year, and Yvonne couldn't want for anything better in a daughter." Karen just managed to bite back the comment that Yvonne could have done with a daughter who didn't feel the need to commit murder. The fact that Denny saw Lauren, the woman who had killed a prison officer, to be all that Yvonne could want in a daughter, was something Karen thrust to the back of her mind to be dealt with later. "Denny, if you thought you had a reason to get out of here, would that make it easier?" "Maybe," Denny conceded. "I'm sorry I did drugs again, I'm sorry I went back on our deal." "It didn't exactly help that Fenner wasn't around to get what he deserved, did it?" Karen said quietly. "No," Denny said miserably. "I couldn't ever slag off what Lauren did, but Fenner should have suffered, I mean really suffered for what he did to Shell, and to you," Denny added, remembering just why the deal had been struck in the first place. "Where do you want to go from here, Denny?" Karen asked. "Because I'm at a loss as to how to stop you going down your old self-destructive path." Denny thought long and hard about this. Why wasn't Miss Betts doing what the screws normally did when someone took drugs? Why wasn't she just giving her days down the block and washing her hands of the situation? Denny didn't know. "Miss, why are you being so nice to me?" Denny asked in a small voice, feeling as though she really didn't deserve it. "Because coming down heavy on you almost certainly wouldn't work, would it," Karen stated, knowing it was true. "From your record, I know that it hasn't worked in the past, so maybe it's time to try something new. You usually need an incentive to do something, which in this place is perfectly understandable. The prospect of Fenner being punished for how he'd treated Shell, that was an enormous incentive for you, which is why you tried so hard to keep your nose clean. But now, that's gone. I want to help you, Denny, not punish you again and again, because we both know that isn't what you need. You will get your parole one day, and that time shouldn't be too far away. But you won't get it, if you slide back in to shoving any narcotic substance up your nose or down your throat, just to blot out how miserable you feel. I also know that you've heard every word I'm saying, at least a dozen times before." After first raising her eyes to Karen's in question, Denny took another cigarette from the packet and lit it from the Zippo Karen held for her. "Miss, would I be able to see Shell?" Denny's question was certainly like a bolt from the blue, not something Karen had been expecting at all. "I'm not sure. Why?" "If it was something that was possible at some point in the future, it might give me something to work towards. I haven't even been able to write to Shell since she's been in that place and it would just be nice to see her again. No matter how much shit Shell managed to get us both into, it was always me who got us out. I know you went to see her before Fenner was killed, but that was the last Shell saw of anyone from Larkhall. It's just something I'd like to do, for me and for Shell." Karen looked at Denny through the cigarette smoke. She just might have a point here. Karen had exchanged the odd letter here and there with Shell, telling her about anyone she asked after, trying to keep her in touch with something normal, something she'd once regarded as home. But if Denny could have contact with Shell, that might do them both good. It would give Shell a link back to Larkhall, to the one place where she'd been liked and cared for, to a certain extent, and for Denny, it would give her something new to focus on. "I'm not promising anything," Karen said slowly. "But I'll look into it. There'll be a lot of red tape for me to wade through, in order for this to even be considered, and in the meantime, you need to stay off the drugs. I'm going to enroll you on the frequent testing programme," And at Denny's attempt to protest, she added, "And this isn't negotiable. Denny, I can't ignore the fact that you've become involved with drugs again, you know that. I want to make sure you stay off drugs, and going by this weekend's performance, your word obviously isn't enough." "I won't do it again, Miss, I promise," Denny insisted. "Say that to me at the end of this week, when you're desperate to get to sleep because of all the thoughts running round in your head that you can't control," Karen said challengingly. "I know how it is, Denny, and I know that your word to me is going to be sorely tested over the next few weeks. You might have got through the last couple of days, but time can go very slowly in this place, and I know just as well as you do, that time is something you really don't need when you're trying to escape from everything that's going on in here," She finished gently, tapping her forehead. "So, just take it one day at a time, and the frequent testing programme will keep me informed as to whether or not you really are staying off the Benzos." "I'm sorry," Denny said in a small, quiet voice. "I know," Karen said gently. "Now, the other thing I need to talk to you about is whether or not you want Yvonne told about this." "No," Denny said hurriedly. "Please, don't tell Yvonne. She'd be so ashamed of me," She finished quietly. "Denny, Yvonne knows how it is in this place," Karen tried to reassure her. "And she might be able to help you. She can almost certainly help you better than I can." "No, please, Miss, you mustn't tell Yvonne. Please," Denny begged, with the wide, frightened eyes of a fox, caught in the proverbial jaws of the hound, and about to be shaken to death. "All right," Karen said gently, trying to calm her down. "But please try and talk to her, about wanting to visit Shell, if nothing else." "Okay," Denny conceded. "And Miss, thanks, for not sending me down the block." "Well, I may not be so amenable next time," Karen said firmly. "Just remember that. I'm trying something new with you, but only because any previous punishment hasn't worked. So yes, you are being given a chance, but I will punish you in the usual way if your current behaviour continues. Is that understood?" "Yes, Miss," Denny said meekly, leaving the office a little while later, with the knowledge that somehow, she had to get through this without going back on any drugs. How successful this would be, she didn't know.
When Denny had gone, Karen walked up to Neil's office. She knew that she couldn't make this type of decision on her own. Denny had specifically said that she didn't want Yvonne informed of what was going on, but Karen knew at the same time, that Denny needed some proof from Yvonne that she had something to get out of prison for. Neil was on the phone when she knocked on his door and entered, so he held up a hand, and gestured her to take a seat. Karen took the opportunity to take a good look at his office. If everything went to plan, this might be hers in the not too distant future. When he replaced the receiver, he gave Karen a smile. "That was the accounts department at area, to inform me that we've over spent on our annual budget for the third year running, as if I didn't know already." "I need to make a decision," Karen came straight to the point. "And I think it needs your input." "I'm all ears," Neil replied, folding his hands in front of him on the desk. "Denny Blood has started taking drugs again. I've talked to her, put her on the frequent testing programme, and warned her as to her future conduct, but I think Yvonne needs to be put in the picture about this. Denny needs some kind of proof that she's got a reason to want to get out of here. Denny has specifically begged me not to inform Yvonne about this, but as Yvonne is the closest thing Denny has to a next of kin, I think I ought to tell her." Taking a moment to assimilate the facts in front of him, Neil took in a deep breath. "If you were sitting in my chair, and I was a Wing Governor, having come to you with a similar problem, what would you do?" "I would get to grips with all the facts of the case, find out exactly what the person in question intended doing about it, and if I agreed with them, leave them to it." "Well, there you are then," Neil said succinctly. "I don't need to tell you what to do, do I?" "I just wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing," Karen said quietly. "And in this instance, informing Yvonne Atkins is the right thing. Karen, in two months time, you hopefully will be sitting in this chair, having to make these kinds of decisions, without any support or hindrance from above." "Neil, I wish you wouldn't bank everything on my getting the job," Karen said tartly. "It might never happen, you know." "I know, I know," Neil said placatingly. "But what I'm doing, is trying to prepare you for the possibility that it might. Holding the position of Governing Governor, means that you will have to make decisions with this level of magnitude on a daily basis. The sooner you get used to it, the better." "I'm sorry," Karen said quietly. "I just want to get this right, that's all." "Why does Denny Blood get to you so much?" "You're starting to sound like Gina," Karen replied dryly. "Then, if two of us are saying it, don't you think there might be something in it?" "I suppose I feel a little responsible for the fact that someone I was briefly involved with, was indirectly to blame for the death of her girlfriend." "Which is precisely why," Neil said slowly and quietly. "You need to step back from the situation, and re-examine it from a purely professional perspective. Karen, other than the fact that she is one of the inmates under your care, Daniella Blood's problems are not your responsibility. However, on this occasion, I agree with your judgment, that Yvonne Atkins may be the key to Getting Ms Blood back on track." Karen stayed quiet for a moment, just watching him. Neil was absolutely right, she knew that. So why did she always let it get to her? It wasn't her fault that Snowball Merriman had blown up the library, taking Shaz Wiley with it, but that didn't mean she could always stand back from Denny's case, and deal with it from a purely professional angle.
Back in her office, she reached for the phone. Yvonne had to be informed about this, but it had to be done gently. Yvonne sounded pleased to hear from her, but Karen didn't know how long this was going to last. "We need to talk," She said slowly. "About Denny." "So, I was right," Yvonne said gloomily. "She is using again." "You knew?" Karen sounded surprised. "No, I just wondered. I asked Lauren when I last saw her, but she didn't know." "Yes, she is using again, and I really shouldn't be telling you this. But I think you're the only one who might be able to get through to her." "Go on, fill me in," Yvonne invited, briefly taking Karen back to the times when they'd exchanged confidences without a second thought. "She doesn't think she's got anything to get out for," Karen said slowly. "She thinks that once Lauren's release date arrives, you won't need her any more." "But that's ridiculous," Yvonne insisted. "Oh, I know," Karen agreed. "She's just losing faith in everything at the moment." "I know how she feels," Yvonne said dryly, hurting Karen far more than she'd intended to. "I've put her on the frequent testing programme," Karen continued, trying to ignore Yvonne's innocent twist of the knife. "And I haven't given her any days in segregation. I asked her what she might consider an incentive to stay clean, and she said that she wanted to see Shell." "Dockley?" Yvonne asked in surprise. "The very same. So, I'm going to see what I can do on that score, but I've made her no promises. I don't want to come down heavy on her, Yvonne, but I'm going to have to if she doesn't improve. The thing is, she specifically asked me not to tell you, so if you do talk to her about it, she mustn't think you already know." "Okay," Yvonne replied, hearing in Karen's voice that the throwaway jibe she'd made hadn't gone unnoticed. "I'll see what I can do. I'm coming in to visit her on Sunday, so I'll talk to her then. Thanks, for not washing your hands of her." As Karen ended the call, she reflected that short, brief relationships always did make a difference to friendships, no matter how much you didn't want them to. She and Yvonne were different with each other now, and Karen realised that she would give anything to go back to the way they'd been before that bloody game of spin the bottle.