Snapshots of a Love Affair

by Olivia Sutton

part 3

Two years later, Jeff and Marty are 19

Jeff rushed into his and Marty's flat, near their university, throwing his rucksack in the corner, "Marty!" There was no answer, so he checked the kitchen, then the lounge looking for his mate and lover. Not finding Marty, Jeff climbed the stairs, two at a time, "Marty, you're not still ill, are you?" Jeff shouted, then he opened the bedroom door.

Marty lay in the middle of their double bed, on top of the duvet, curled into a ball, moaning.

"Oh god, Marty!" shouted Jeff, racing to his mate. Remembering what their counsellor had taught him, and his own experiences with Marty's nightmares and flashbacks, Jeff stood near the bed, not touching his mate, and out of range of Marty's arms. "Marty! Wake up! WAKE UP!" Then Jeff gently sent an image of calm and serenity to his mate.

Marty groaned and woke up, opening his eyes, and straightening out on the bed. "Jeff?"

Jeff went to Marty, then, noticing his red eyes and sweaty face, he took Marty into his arms, and kissed him, lightly, then held him away so Marty could see his face. "What happened? You said you were ill this morning, but god, Marty..." Jeff left off, then flooded Marty's mind with feelings of concern.

"I..." Marty faltered, "I'm glad you're here, Jeff, I love you so," Marty grabbed Jeff then, embracing him, "I'm so glad you're here!" He murmured, crying.

"What happened?" Jeff asked again, then he mentally prodded his mate, Tell me! Or show me, if you can't speak about it, Marty!

Marty nodded, swallowing his tears, "Do you know what day it is?"

Jeff shuddered, as he realised, "Oh, god, Marty. Why didn't you say something this morning? I would have stayed home with you."

I didn't want you to miss your exams, you know how much your mum wants you to be a solicitor, Jeff.

Marty - you are so much more important to me than any exam!

I know. But I thought I could handle it, Jeff. I mean, it's been five years! Five whole years since he... since he, Marty shuddered, It's been five years since I was raped, Jeff. Five years ago, today, and I honestly thought I'd be all right. A little depressed, and certainly not in the mood to go to class or work, but I thought I could stay home, alone, and I would be all right.

What happened?

I... Marty flooded Jeff with images and feelings, fear, disgust, shame, and pain. Nightmares, and feelings, Jeff. All I could think was that you would be home soon, and everything would be all right. I needed you so!

Marty, why didn't you call for me? I would have heard you, even at a distance, for something like this!

I couldn't, I couldn't control anything. When I was awake every negative feeling in my soul came to the surface, and when I was asleep... nightmares. All I could do was wait for you.

I'm sorry, Marty. I should have remembered and stayed home with you.

It's not your fault, Jeff. But I need you. Do you understand? I need to be with you, now, Jeff.

Jeff nodded, and flooded his mate with feelings of agreement. "I'll get the oil, Marty."

Jeff did as he promised, then stripped off his clothes, and returned to Marty, Top or bottom, Marty?

Bottom, Jeff. Make love to me, 'til every memory in my head goes away and stays there. Make love to me, hard and urgently, Jeff, until it hurts! I need it, I need you! I need you to take the memory away!

Jeff nodded, in agreement, I know what you need, Marty. I love you.

I love you, Jeff, now take me!

Jeff helped Marty out of the old t-shirt and pyjama bottoms he wore, then kissed his mate's chest, gently. He kissed Marty's lips and darted his tongue in Marty's mouth. Feeling his mate respond, Jeff continued, flooding Marty with his feelings of love, friendship and trust, then he pulled out of the kiss and pushed Marty down on his stomach, hard. Jeff kissed the nape of Marty's neck, whispering, "I love you."

"I know, I love you, Jeff." And I know you don't like it, but, today, I need it rough, you understand?

I understand, Marty, Jeff responded.

Hurt me, Jeff. I mean it, I want you to hurt me, so I can forget.

Marty! We've talked about this. I will do it, Marty, and I'll even hurt you. I'll do what you want. I will make it rough, Marty. Not because I want to, but because I love you! Then his mouth ran a blazing trail of kisses down Marty's back. Jeff took the scented oil he'd taken from the bathroom, and spread it on Marty's arse, then spread it on his own, hard penis. Then he slammed into his mate and lover. Jeff rode Marty hard, tears in his eyes, knowing that what he was doing would hurt Marty, but knowing that Marty wanted it and needed it. Their sex was seldom rough, normally gentle, tender and loving, but Jeff knew there were times when Marty needed and wanted rough sex, and Jeff loved him enough to give it to him during those times. He slammed into Marty over and over, damning the man who had raped his mate years ago, when Marty was fourteen. Tears streaming from his eyes, Jeff finally came, sliding out of his lover.

Marty? Jeff thought. Marty, are you all right? I didn't hurt you, did I, Marty? You said to make it rough, you said... more tears came to Jeff's eyes.

Jeff, Jeff, you were fine. I love you, Jeff, and it was just fine. I needed it, like that, Jeff. Just like that. I know you've never completely understood, but I needed it rough, today. Thank you. Marty flooded Jeff with feelings of love and trust. Thank you for giving me what I needed, even though I know you don't really like it. I love you, Jeff.

Jeff nodded, Marty? Take me. But be gentle.

Marty nodded, stroking Jeff's hair. I'll always be gentle with you, Jeff.

Marty kissed Jeff slowly, then scrambled up, moving stiffly. Jeff watched Marty move, and winced, knowing he had caused that pain, I'm sorry, Marty, he thought, listening to Marty's soft moans as he moved.

I needed it, Jeff. Now leave it!

Jeff nodded again, then made himself comfortable on the bed, breathing in Marty's scent from his pillow.

Marty spread oil on Jeff's back, massaging his shoulders, and kissing the muscles of Jeff's back. Then his hands moved to Jeff's buttocks, massaging gently. He oiled Jeff's arse, and his own hard penis, then with soft, gentle strokes, he took his mate, making love to him, while flooding him with feelings of love. Jeff moaned below Marty, sighing softly, and reflecting his own feelings of love back to his mate. Finally, Marty came, collapsing onto Jeff. He stayed on top of Jeff for a moment, then the two scrambled around on the bed, until they ended up in each other arms, holding each other, gently.

I love you, Marty. Jeff thought, holding Marty in his arms.

I love you, Jeff. Marty answered, holding Jeff in his arms. I think I can get some sleep, now.

Jeff nodded, holding Marty, then kissing him, Go ahead and sleep, Marty. It isall right. You're safe in my arms, and no one will ever hurt you again. Never, Marty. Jeff looked at his mate and lover, but he had fallen asleep.

Marty awoke first the next morning, and looked at Jeff below him. Marty smiled, noticing how Jeff's hair was tussled by sleep, then he moved to Jeff, gently kissing his forehead, then his lips.

Jeff's eyes blinked open, and he looked up at his lover. Good morning, Marty.

Morning, Jeff, Marty moved along Jeff's body, but groaned in pain as he moved. His lips reached Jeff's chest, and he began to kiss, nip and play with his lover's chest.

"You all right, Marty?" asked Jeff.

Yeah, a bit sore, but I'm fine. Better than yesterday, Jeff.

Sore? I did hurt you, didn't I? Let me see, Marty.

Marty moved off Jeff, then deliberately lay on his back, next to him. He groaned as his arse hit the mattress. It's fine, Jeff, don't worry.

Let me see, Marty!

Marty sighed, then turned onto his stomach. Jeff pushed aside the sheets and blankets, then looked at his mate's arse. Marty's buttocks were covered in bruises.

Jesus, Marty! I did that? I did that to you?

Jeff, listen, it's all right, Jeff. Honestly. It looks worse than it is. And I'm only a little sore.

Jeff moved away, turning on his side away from Marty, then began to cry. Marty moved closer, putting a hand on Jeff's shoulder. "It's all right, Jeff."

"It's not! I hurt you, Marty! I always swore that I would never hurt you!"

"You're NOT the one that hurt me. Please understand, Jeff. I mean, we have talked about this."

Jeff turned around and faced Marty, his eyes full of tears. "How can you enjoy pain, Marty? Why?"

Because it makes me forget, Jeff. It helps. And because, in a way, it's exciting.

Jeff nodded, God, Marty, I...

Shush, shush, Jeff, please stop it. I love you, Jeff. I love you so much. And when you... when you do something that you don't really enjoy, because I do, and I want it and I need it - Jeff, it makes me love you all the more.

Jeff nodded. I do love you, Marty. I love you more than anything.

I know, Jeff. It's only a couple of bruises. I'm okay. I've had it worse, Jeff, you know that.

Yeah, I know, Marty - that's why I don't like hurting you. Jeff sent an image of the two of them in their old fashioned claw-foot iron tub, surrounded by bubbles and hot water.

Now that is an excellent idea, Jeff. Go and run the bath. But first... Marty gathered Jeff in his arms and kissed him, Jeff, I... Marty stopped thinking words to Jeff and flooded him with feelings of his love, trust and friendship.

Jeff automatically returned Marty's flood of emotions with his own feelings, Marty, I don't know what I'd do without you in my life. I love you.

I love you, Jeff, now run the bath and we can play in the water.

Jeff smiled, Now, that is something I want, Marty. Then he reluctantly left his lover's embrace, and went to the bathroom, turning on the hot water and pouring bath salts and bubbles into the tub.