Author's Note: Don't you guys worry! I PLAN on finishing this story. I WILL finish it. I was gonna have this out yesterday, but it was, like, 2.30am and I had to wake up early for my birthdaynesssss. Mmkay. Lemme search through comments and such to answer your questions and perils...
1. Yes, everyone. Ron is, indeed, a boy :/
2. err, I think she wears black and forest green and such for camouflage. I don't imagine Kim to hate those colours, but judging by her day clothes, I think she's more personally attracted to more brighter colours (her room is, like, freaking pink and mauve).
3. If you wanna take a guess at what's in Ron's drawer, I'd love to hear XD
4. This story, I promise, was in production waaaaay before Bonding. It's been in the works LONG before it was first uploaded. Haven't seen that episode yet, it hasn't aired in Canada. But it relieves me to know that there are no similarities (other than being stuck to someone). I almost gave up on my story when I heard about Bonding, I didn't want people to think I was doing some cheesy 'what if' thing with the episode just to have KRness 99
5. Sorry, haven't heard that Frank Sinatra song. Although he IS one cool cat. But it's too cool to have mood music, I do that when writing this fic (or anything, really).
6. uhhh... Britina is in the KP television show. In Crush mainly. She's kinda their world Britney Spears, I suppose. I'm not using real-life stars in this fic unless they're in an episode and I need to use them (like in To the Xtreme).
7. Unfortunately, I do have a life to attend to which is one of many reasons for the long pace between uploading. That, and they actually DO take a long time to write. The one I just finished is 58 pages long in WinWord. I can't just pump them out like a factory XD Sorry! But I'm glad you can't wait for the next one, it means you guys really like XD I don't mind little reminders, hehe :3
8. Thanks to the people who stood up to me about not spelling things the American way (because I simply am not :/)
9. Please don't pull your hair out when reading my stories, I don't want your barber to sue me ;;
I love you, reviewers!! Thank-you ever so much to: continental-line, Ashley, kai, Me262, EEJRC, John Steppenwolf, Knight-Owl 13th, JulesFire, tricket35, awardwinningwriter828, cris, Sukari (omg, i love your reviews, they're so freaking cute XD), BrianDarksoul, HobbitGirlForever, lilmissclinebme, ShadowGirl, Nakasumisan24, Charlene/mangoes, Ptashi and the Loo (gimme sum of ur frisky leg-popping ron picturz plz (/n00b) ).
once again, THANK-YOU!!!!! I can not express enough how much I love your reviews (and for the director comment!)
-A. KiNG!
¤ Instalment 07 »» Day Three: The Inevitable ¤
In these two hands
Our souls communicate with each other
We believe forever at heart
-Priere, 'Heartbeat'
If Kim thought that her dream last night was strange, then to-night's definitely broke the record.
As soon as she had fallen into the dream, she felt a strange sense of abnormality. It didn't feel like any of her other dreams, or even of her nightmares. Just the all around feeling of the dream world surrounding her, the atmosphere, felt foreign and it made her feel grossly uncomfortable. In fact, she felt like she was more awake in her dream. She didn't know how to describe it, but even though the world was the dream world, she felt as if she was the Kim in the waking world and not a dream-self version of herself.
Without even realising it, she in the dream turned her head to look around. She was looking for something, but she never remembered thinking about looking for something. But instantly she recognised the hallways of Middleton High. No hall in particular, however.
Unexpectedly, she began to walk forwards. Her head kept turning this way and that, searching for something unknown to her. Finally when she rounded a corner, she had to gasp. Although she gasped, her self in the dream made no sound, nor did she move her mouth. Instead, she took a couple of unwarranted steps backward.
Kim saw herself. It was probably the first time in any of her dreams that she was seeing herself instead of being herself. It didn't feel right. She wanted to hold herself, but her arms wouldn't bring up to hold her arms even though she told them to.
She continued to watch herself standing in front of her locker with Josh Mankey. Nothing they said could be heard but their mouths were moving as if in converse.
Should she approach herself? What would herself say to her? As she contemplated the matter, her legs started moving without any warning and she approached the Kim talking with Josh.
Although she still didn't hear anything, she must have said something to herself. She also felt the feeling of lifting her hand as if in greeting. But the Kim didn't react, didn't even notice she was there.
She continued to speak without sound to the dream-Kim talking with Josh, and felt herself become more annoyed that the Kim with Josh wasn't reacting to anything she said even though she was right there.
And then… and then the dream-Kim next to Josh leaned forwards and… and the two kissed.
Much taken aback, she stood stunned. It felt like someone had slapped her and inside, feelings coiled and twisted inside of her. Before she could sort anything out, her legs ran her away and back down the hall they came. They stopped at a locker, her locker. But wasn't she just at her locker? The locker where the dream-Kim and Josh… why couldn't she even say it, if not aloud, but to herself? It made the feelings inside of her anxious. But on second thought, the locker-thing didn't matter, she decided, it was a dream.
While she was in thought over the locker deal, she must have missed herself turning the dial on the locker combo for when she turned her attention back, the locker door was open.
Inside was her computer and Wade flicked on the screen, she wanted to say something to him, but wasn't sure what to say. Not that it mattered, Wade began to speak.
"It's your own fault!" he said. "You didn't do anything yesterday, you wasted a whole day and it got you no-where. You have a plan! Stick to it! It's up to you to make things happen!"
Kim had no idea what Wade was talking about and she wanted so badly to ask him, but she could not work her own lips to say what she wanted. It was if they had a mind of their own.
Turning around, she saw herself walking down the hallway with Josh, hand in hand.
"I could hold your hand forever!" the dream-Kim walking down the hallway said out loud, gazing admirably up into Josh's dazzling blue eyes.
She felt herself astounded as she watched them walk past without even the slightest glance at her. Kim felt devastated, she backed up into the locker… and then… then she ran away.
ø
Kim woke up with a jolt from the dream, it continued to haunt her even a she lay awake in her… sofa?!
Pushing herself up, she allowed her eyes to adjust to the darkened room. That was easy enough as the moon and stars outside the windows were twinkling through the parts of the windows that weren't covered by the blinds. Someone must have pulled them down.
Upon remembering her dream it told her that she must have fallen asleep. But that confused her, she didn't understand. Kim felt as if her mind was in a befuddled cloud. Slowly, she tried to work out the events before she had fallen asleep…
That was right—she had been dozing off while Ron watched his wrestling program on the television. But… the television was turned off and someone had placed the remote on the coffee table when she was sure it had been in Ron's hand before.
And dinner! Her Mother said she would alert Kim and Ron when dinner was ready, and that was it—she never had. Kim, with her mind a fog, deduced that she must have fallen asleep and her Mother decided to let her sleep. Kim was a little annoyed still and wished her Mother had awoken her despite her slumber. It also must have been her Mother who turned off the television and lights, lowering the blinds.
Kim sighed. The fog in her brain must mean that she was still sleepy. She had no idea what time it was and although some light shone in through parts of the windows, it was still too dark too see the face on the clock. Sleepiness, fatigue and comfort eventually overcame her curiosity for the time; she decided to stay where she was. Whatever time it was, it had to be early morning. What time had it been when the wrestling had started? Why was she dwelling on the time? What did it matter?
Turning around to find a new content position to sleep, Kim shifted herself to lay on her other side… to face Ron.
How could she have forgotten he was there? And when they were still holding hands? From last night, Ron's hand was on the back of Kim's, his fingers between hers. His hand over hers felt very warm, she brought it closer to herself.
Ron had sloped down the pillow, probably when he was beginning to fall asleep, so now his head was more on level with hers. While one hand was in hers, his other was underneath the pillow.
As Kim tried to snuggle more under the blankets, she ended up moving closer to Ron. Kim's mind was in such a dilatory state that she knew she had moved closer to Ron, but didn't flush even when she had those new thoughts about Ron being a boy in her mind. Or maybe it wasn't the dilatory state. Maybe she did it on purpose.
For whatever reason, she bowed her head in and fell asleep with ease, their attached hands placed between them.
ø
Morning came, as it always does.
Unfortunately, Ron thought as he yawned. I wish after night would just come 'afternoon', maybe less people would be so grumpy in the world.
Blinking his eyes, Ron was instantly shocked. Shocked to see Kim lying in front of him… so close to him… In fact, the only space between them was the space occupied by their connected hands. He could fell her breath pace as she slept. It made him swallow nervously.
C'mon, Ron, she didn't move that close to you. It's the sofa, there's not much room to begin with. She was sleeping and must have come this close in her sleep.
Why should she make any sort of move? He hadn't done anything yesterday! All they did was stupid homework, nothing to bring Kim closer to him, to make her forget Mankey. If there was a time in Ron's life when he felt more stupid, it couldn't be thought of. He had the whole of Saturday to themselves! Her Mother was gone, her Father and brothers were upstairs too occupied with their own stuff to concern themselves with Kim and himself. What a waste.
Ron laid his head back, tightening his eyes, the feeling of stupidity increasing. How could he have missed that? Because of homework?!
That's it, he thought, clenching his teeth. Two days left and I'm so screwed… Wade will have a cure on Tuesday and everything will go back to the way it was, Kim gallivanting around Josh. Of course, things won't stay like that, they'll escalate and pretty soon Kim and Josh will be dating and who knows what else! I have got to do something to-day or it's all gonna go down the drain… But what to do?! We can't go to the mall… what other place is there?
At that moment, Kim decided to awaken by shrugging her shoulders and giving a small yawn. She looked up at Ron and he felt himself freeze. Was she… blushing?
"I can't believe we fell asleep on the sofa! I woke up during the night, I was so shocked," she began to speak right away. "I guess we fell asleep before Dinner and Mom decided not to wake us. That was nice of her, huh?"
Ron nodded. He still couldn't shake off the feeling of being so close to her, it made him flutter inside. It's what he always wanted.
Kim adverted her eyes; they were downcast as if she was doing some serious thinking.
Ron really didn't know what to say, other than to mention going to eat some breakfast. He couldn't believe he missed supper! But, he supposed, I guess that's good… in some ways… But he didn't want to interrupt her thoughts… or her state of mind. He wanted to wait to see if Kim had anything else to say. Ron was positive he had caught Kim blushing but for what reason, Ron daren't think; he could be wrong and he didn't want to get his hopes up until something really big showed through between them.
"Um," Kim murmured, "Maybe we should get some breakfast."
Ron couldn't help but laugh, "That's exactly what was on my mind!"
Kim smiled her eyes at him, but didn't make any move to sit or stand up, and she was on the edge of the sofa so Ron had to wait until she moved first (he was thankful for that, he desperately wanted to lay beside Kim for as long as he could).
After awhile, Kim still made no move to sit up, in fact, she lowered her head again and looked as if she was going to go back to sleep. Was it Ron's imagination or did she move towards him? She was so close that Ron had an inclination to put an arm around her and draw her even closer, but he resisted knowing he'd probably scare the hell out of her.
Unfortunately for them both, noise began in the background. It was some sort of clatter in the kitchen. That startled Kim and she immediately flustered to push herself up.
Dang!
"Um, c'mon, I think my parents are starting breakfast and I'm hungry." She was avoiding eye contact with him. He noticed.
Adrenaline rushed inside Ron's chest, it wasn't his imagination! But, he cautioned himself, think of all the possibilities first… Maybe it's not what you think… besides how could it be when you didn't do anything yesterday? Her mind's probably not on you… on other things like Bonnie, homework or Josh even…
The movement woke Rufus who had been curled in a ball behind Kim same as last night. Ron put out a hand for Rufus to leap onto, scampering up his shoulder where he so often rode.
Kim led a groggy Ron into the kitchen where her assumptions were correct. Her Mother and Father were already making themselves breakfast. Kim noted the drafts on the breakfast table beside the Sunday paper.
"Didn't get all your work done yesterday, Dad?" Kim asked while leaning forwards on the kitchen counter to investigate what her Mother might be cooking up.
Mr Dr Possible chuckled, "Afraid not, we're building a pair of turbo fire boosters for a new prototype rocket due to fire sometime in December, but the designs are much different than what we've done before. How about you, Kimmie? Finish your homework yesterday?"
Kim shook her head, "Not. But we did get a lot done. It's just Mr Barkin and Ms Whisp who loads us up with math and Latin for the long weekend." She sighed and watched her Mother flip the bacon on the skillet as it continued to fizzle and pop. "We'll finish it to-day, giving Monday a day off of sorts."
"That's good to hear," Mr Possible said, picking up the newspaper.
"What? That they give us extra homework?"
"No, that you're both managing your homework proficiently."
Kim rolled her eyes and held out her plate with her free hand and Ron his. Mrs Possible laid two strips of beacon and a large egg on each.
Taking it to the breakfast table, Mrs Possible kindly brought them each a glass of orange juice.
"What are your guy's plans for to-day?" Kim asked her parents while picking up her bacon with her fork.
"Well, you already know your Father's," Mrs Possible said, bringing her own plate to the table. "As far as I know, I'm staying here, it'll give me time to catch up on some of the housework. Of course, I could be called in at any time."
"Kinda like Kim," Ron put in. He was really hoping that Wade would have a mission for them to-day, it could give them bonding time which Ron felt he needed direly. The way Kim acted that morning when she woke, it gave Ron some sort of hope that he was making some sort of advancement, even if he couldn't be sure what she was thinking.
"You know," Kim said suddenly through a mouthful of food; her Mother scolded her so she finished swallowing before she continued: "I just realised something." She turned to Ron, he stopped eating and Rufus took the chance to steal parts of his egg. "When we were at the mall, we never finished all of your errands! In fact, I think we lost the shampoo and conditioner."
"O… o yea!" Ron exclaimed in remembrance. He'd forgotten all about that! He must have left them on the bench when they ran away from the girls wailing for the security guards.
"How about we finish your errands before we start on homework?" Kim suggested.
Ron was instantly blown away. Kim was actually suggesting that they go out while they were still stuck holding hands where people could see them?! He could have fainted. I must be making progress!! He felt himself jump inside. First the sofa and then this? He aspired so much that he wasn't jumping to conclusions.
Unable to find his tongue, he stammered, "S-sure… but uh…" It's not like they could show their faces at the mall anytime soon. Ron didn't want to say that out loud where her parents could overhear though. "Where would we go?" he asked, hoping Kim would catch on.
Kim nodded, she caught onto his meaning. "There's a corner store a couple of streets over, we could go there. It's not much, right? What are you getting?"
Of course, the list being made up, Ron could say yes to anyplace and purchase anything. "Ok," he agreed, deciding to ignore her question.
"Good," she replied, not caring or noticing that he hadn't answered her question. "It's been a couple days now and, uh, I don't want your Mom to be upset."
"O, don't worry, she's patient," Ron said, going back to his food which was almost all gone now thanks to Rufus. He shooed Rufus away with his fork, the rest was his.
"Don't be out too long," Mr Possible warned, looking up from the newspaper. "Don't forget your homework."
"No big, Dad, it's not procrastinating. Just some errands," Kim assured, finishing off her plate. She waited for Ron to finish with his before they went to the sink to dump their plates in.
"And it's your night for doing the dishes," her Mother added.
Kim rolled her eyes again, "So not the drama! Come on, Ron, let's go get dressed."
Back up in Kim's room, Kim picked out her dark green long-sleeved shirt with the magenta skirt and Ron decided to wear that shirt Kim said he should wear more often, (the brown and light brown one). Ron grabbed his wallet and put it in the pocket that Rufus wasn't in and they trotted back down the stairs, past Jim and Tim who were probably heading down for some breakfast (Jim and Tim both gave them smirking looks as they passed).
When Kim locked the door and they walked down the street, Ron felt a cold wind buffet his face and push against his back as they walked with the wind. He'd spent so much time indoors lately, he had forgotten the changing of seasons. It was Fall already and soon enough it would be October. The deciduous trees they passed were now speckled between green leaves and those that were dying a firey red.
Passing the suburban houses, Ron looked down at Kim's bare legs and wondered if she was cold and if they should go back so she could change into something warmer, he asked her.
"No, I'm fine," Kim waved her free right hand in dismissal.
Ron simply shrugged.
The corner store wasn't on their corner, but rather a few streets down so naturally it took awhile to reach their destination. During the time that they walked, they both remained oddly silent. Ron wasn't sure why Kim wasn't talking on and on about things concerning her. As he thought about it, she was maybe thinking the same about him, why he wasn't babbling on with run-on sentences like he usually did. Something had changed; they were both usually very talkative people.
Ron was more the rambling talkative type, he'd go on and on about one thing and something in his conversation might distract him and lead him down a totally different path. In that way, he could talk forever. Kim on the other hand usually liked to rant and when she did, very little could stop her. Not that ranting was the only thing that kept her talking on, that's just what she was infamous for.
Truthfully, Ron didn't know what to say to Kim. It seemed that now he had this 'plan' to subliminally persuade Kim to have feelings for him, he felt that everything he should say ought to be related to that and, really, Ron was dreadfully lost about how to go about it and what things to say that could sway her mind without her noticing.
And what was keeping Kim so quiet? He looked over at her casually and was a little bit unnerved by her expression. Kim looked so troubled over something. He had been expecting her to look care free and oblivious. She was definitely thinking on something.
Before Ron could ask for a penny for her thoughts, Kim stole a look at him then watched her features become suddenly startled to see him already looking at her.
She flustered easily, "Oh, hey, nice walk, huh?"
"Yea," Ron shrugged, sliding his hand into his pocket. "What's on your mind?"
She looked greatly taken aback over such a small and common question. "Me? Nothing! Well, obviously I'm thinking, but… no-, I mean…"
Ron raised an eyebrow at her.
Kim waved her hand again, "Never mind, you just scared me, that's all. What's on your list?"
The last question sounded like Kim was too eager to change the subject.
"Oh, y'know, just stuff."
"Stuff?" Kim asked, giving him a sardonic eye.
Ron puffed himself up, "Yea, stuff!"
"Ok, ok, calm down!" Kim laughed while she tilted her head away and lightly brushed some hair away from her face.
ø
Above their heads, the little silver door chime dangled and clanged against the glass on the heavy door that they pushed open to enter the corner store.
"I hope news of the mall thing didn't spread around," Kim whispered to Ron and he sniggered.
But that was proving unlikely and they were dearly thankful for that. The cashier made no inclination of recognition. Nor did he make any move to stop the two from entering.
"Lead the way," Kim said, waving at the store with her right hand. "I don't know what you're looking for exactly. Other than hair care stuff."
Ron tried to smile, but he failed miserably. Could he possibly be feeling bad for dragging Kim out here and basically lying to her about these errands? That, and Ron still felt the cold draft from being outside and began to feel sourly that he'd rather be sitting comfortable (and even doing homework) inside Kim's house… maybe even sitting close to her… like last night and this morning.
That had been wonderful to Ron, it felt like progress, but he couldn't be sure. He had been able to sleep so close to her… what heaven! And when she had awoken… that still confused Ron, he looked at her now—she was browsing the shelves, her head turned away from him. He sighed, Ron was sure that expression on Kim's face meant something, it had to. If only there was a way to tell for sure…
"See anything yet?" Kim broke his thoughts and he was at a moment's loss.
"Um, yea, grab that box of cereal."
Kim pointed to one and Ron just nodded. Picking it off the shelf, she placed the box of cereal (a kind that Ron hated) into a red shopping basket that he hadn't even noticed her pickup.
They continued to walk down every aisle and every once in awhile, Ron would stop and pick something out, all the while carefully tallying up the total in his mind. He certainly didn't want to spend his own money on unnecessary junk like this, especially when he could purchase it cheaper at Smarty-Mart.
Wandering around, they kept quiet again, much like that had while walking to the corner store. They were probably being extra careful not to draw any attention to themselves just in the slight case that anyone recognised them from the mall.
Ron didn't pick up much in the end, enough to fit into one bag once the cashier had bagged the items. Indeed, the trip had gone without any fault.
Walking out of the store, Ron carrying his (not-too-heavy) grocery bag felt another fresh cold breeze gently drift by their faces.
"Is it just me, or is it colder out here than when we came in?" Kim asked giving a slight shudder.
"Yea, wish I had brought a jacket…" Dang, if I had, I could have given it to her or something like in those old B and W movies… Smooth move, Ron. "I bet you wish you had worn pants now."
"Heh," Kim smirked looking down at her bare legs, "You got me there, but what can I do?"
Ron felt a twinge in his stomach. "I dunno, just get home fast, I guess. O! And have some Lunch." Ron cast a look over his shoulder at the corner store they were leaving behind. "Should have bought a chocolate bar or something…" he murmured more to himself.
"Actually," Kim spoke, a finger to her chin, "Let's take a pit stop at Bueno Nacho to warm up. I think I still have some cold residue from walking by the dairy products."
"Now you're speaking my language!" Ron crowed, "C'mon!"
Now in long, brisk strides, he pulled Kim along who had let out a small 'whoah!' at suddenly being pulled along but quickly moved her feet to match strides with Ron. Soon it became a small game to see who could keep ahead of whom without full-out running, this made the both of them laugh nonchalantly.
Not before long, they burst into the doors of their favourite Mexican fast-food restaurant, stopping just inside the doors to allow their laughter to subside.
Bueno Nacho wasn't busy at all for a Sunday afternoon they soon learned after looking around. There was only one person being served at the till and many seats were left available. Not that any of this bothered either Kim or Ron.
"I'll have a Mediano-sized taco meal," Kim said while looking up at the menu overhead. "What'll you have, Ron?" Kim stepped aside and let Ron stand in front of the cashier.
"A Naco meal, please" he exchanged a look with Rufus, "Grande sized!"
Kim muffled a laugh and shook her head, smiling, as she pulled out her wallet with her free hand.
"No way, KP," Ron raised his head, looking impressive, "I'm buying." As an afterthought, he placed his free hand on the hand Kim used to pull out her wallet and gently lowered her hand as a sign to put away her wallet.
Kim blinked, looking down at his hand, but soon smirked back at him, "And you have enough?"
"Yes," Ron lowered his eyebrows, hurt by the comment.
"Just checking," Kim laughed which made Ron return a small smile.
Pulling out his wallet from his back pocket, (where he placed it after paying for the unnecessary items at the corner store), Ron paid for their meal and leaned backwards against the counter as they waited for their meal.
"How much math do you have left?" Kim asked.
Ron winced, "Do we really have to talk about it now?" he asked but answered anyway: "A page. What do you have left? I know you're done with your math."
Kim held up her free right hand and held up a finger every time she named a different subject. "Well, let's see, I have some Latin left, the short English paper and some more Chemistry questions, but I'm almost done that. You?"
Behind them, they heard the clatter of their tray being placed on the counter. "Your meal is ready," Ned said needlessly in that grossly nasally voice both Kim and Ron found grating.
"Thanks, dude," Ron replied. "A little help?" he asked Kim.
"No prob" Kim held one side of the tray with her right hand and Ron took the other side with his left.
Carefully, they carried the tray to a nearby table where they poured on cheese and picked up straw and napkins. They found themselves a seat by a window and placed the tray in the middle. Ron, being on the left side of Kim, slid into the seat first to which Kim followed. Beside them, they switched their hands, which had, by now, become second nature to the two.
Ron decided to continue the conversation before eating. "Yea, I have the page of math left, the English paper and some Chem. questions."
Kim was already dipping her nachos into the cheese on the side. "I'll help you with anything," she reassured before popping a couple of nachos into her mouth.
Ron grinned, "Thanks, I think I'll be needing it on that last math page. It's a doosey."
"It is," Kim agreed, pointing a nacho at him, "But not that hard. Not as hard as it's going to be later on in the year… then there's those exams."
Ron winced, "I am not looking forward to those."
"Who is?' Kim shrugged and snacked on some nachos.
Picking up his naco, Ron began to feast on it while Kim changed the direction of conversation.
"Oh, I almost forgot."
"H'm?"
"O, but I don't have it with me…" Kim looked slightly troubled, but then shrugged and began to eat her taco.
"Don't have what with you?" Ron asked. He watched Rufus push his way out of his pocket and onto the table where he began to steal snips away some of Kim's nachos. Kim gave the rodent a sour look but neither said or did anything to prevent him.
"The Kimmunicator, y'know? To ask Wade if he found a cure yet."
"O." Ron's eyes darted, unnerved. He managed to say, however, "I doubt it though. Wade probably would have beeped us right away."
"I know, I know, but, Ron!" Kim's voice changed. The indifference was gone, replaced by growing fraught. "To-morrow is the last day of the long weekend! Do you know what that means?" (Ron opened his mouth to respond, but Kim ignored him and carried on.) "We'll have to go to school stuck holding hands! I mean, sure we have our classes together, but that's not what I'm worried about."
I know…
"I won't be able to do cheer practice again and I have no explanations this time. And… and what of Josh?! If he sees me holding your hand all day long and knows I couldn't go out with him on the weekend, he may draw conclusions! Incorrect conclusions."
This made Ron think.
"What kind of conclusions?" he prompted.
Kim faltered. "Ah, like, you know…"
He waited for an explanation. Ron thought he knew, but gravely wanted to hear it from Kim's own mouth to be absolutely sure.
Kim wet her lips and looked increasingly uncomfortable; she fidgeted. "Well, if I told him for reasons I didn't explain that I couldn't go on the date then he sees us together at school holding hands… never letting go, well…" she looked at Ron, raising her eyebrows as if implying something, he remained silent. Ron knew his 'not-catching on' was adding to her discomfort.
"O, come off it, Ron!" Kim sighed heavily leaning back in the plush seat. "Don't act du-. Ok, but you know what I'm talking about!"
Why is she having such difficulty saying what she thinks Josh might think? It's not as if it's the truth (no matter how hard I want it to be). Unless… unless it's difficult to say because… because what? Because there might be some truth behind it? Ron felt himself flutter inside again. Could it be?
Ron knew what he wanted to say next, but found it complex to word his sentence. It had to be done delicately. He didn't think he'd ever done so much careful thought before speaking in his whole entire life. After swallowing, he knew he had to speak, but wasn't completely prepared (as usually when he spoke). "We're friends, KP… If that's the truth, then he'll know it." Hey, that came out pretty well. Need t'give myself a pat on the back for that!
Kim was still sitting back in the seat, her face looked distressed and she was certainly lost in her own thoughts. Did she even hear him?
"Ah, sorry?" Kim said after shaking out of her stance. "I guess…" She suddenly frowned, lifted her head then looked at him through the corner of her eyes.
Ron had resumed eating his naco and was finishing it off when he noticed. "What?"
She gave him a curious look that made Ron feel tense. "Nothing…" She was still looking at him when she responded. Ron gave her a look that suggested she was more than weird, hiding his apprehension. After giving her the look, he put the naco wrapper back down on the tray then replaced his left hand on Kim's left with his right so it would be more comfortable.
Ron bit his lower lip. They were both thinking about something, something deep and important to the both of them, he was sure. But what was Kim thinking? Just about Josh Mankey?
A feeling of deep grievance grew within him. It wasn't fair!
Ron figured that some progress was being made since Kim was worrying that Josh could assume things between the two. It meant that she was aware that things could actually happen between them, knew that he wasn't just a friend. But a friend who happened to be a boy, like Josh. That was good.
But it hurt Ron. Not only that, but made him slightly angry that Kim should feel embarrassed at school because she would still be stuck holding hands with him and people who knew her socially would see them. Even if Kim thought they were just best friends and nothing more, why should it be embarrassing to hold a friend's hand?
No, Ron concluded. It wasn't because she was stuck holding hands. It was because he was Ron. It wasn't the holding hands thing, it was him. Panic and distress rose inside his chest. There was something wrong with him, or so Kim must be thinking. Insinuating.
Ron's left hand was clenched into a fist on his lap, with his head bent down, he felt himself actually begin to burn up. Colour was actually rising to his pale, freckled cheeks. She had hurt his feeling and he couldn't even tell her so she could apologise. She was so unaware of him, and his feelings… she always was!! He had taken it before in the past, but with all the current events, he felt like he might burst!
At that moment, quite abruptly, Kim made a startling sound that sounded like she was hurt and surprised at the same time.
This sound startled Ron out of his silent rage. "Kim?!" he immediately asked, rushing to her need in the panic. "You… you ok?"
Kim placed a hand over her heart, her face distorted but she soon lifted her head to him. "Yea, of course, Ron. I just… felt… something."
Ron snorted a chuckle, "Indigestion?"
"So not! No, really, something else."
"Yea? Then what was it?"
"I don't know!" she snapped back. "Don't you think if I knew I would have told you?"
Ron backed away from her, "Ok-ok! Is it gone now?"
"Yes, it cleared away," she frowned again. But then she shook it off quickly and pushed the box of nachos towards the middle of the tray. "You can have some too."
Ron looked at the nachos sceptically.
"What?"
"What if it's something you ate?"
Kim groaned loudly at Ron and rolled her eyes. "Ron, if it was the nachos, which I know it wasn't, Rufus would be feeling it too."
They both stared at Rufus who froze once all the eyes were on him. He looked around himself then back at Kim and Ron who were both staring at him.
Rufus whimpered and shrunk low. "Stop!" the rodent squealed.
Kim and Ron threw back their heads and laughed. Rufus still looked hurt so Ron put his little buddy at ease by patting him on the head and offering some nachos to him which Rufus greedily accepted.
Ron helped himself to Kim's nachos too, still chuckling.
"Aa, poor Rufus," Kim smiled, suppressing some laughter. "It'll be a pity when we have to leave."
"Yea, it's so cold!" Ron sobbed.
"O yea? And how do you think I feel?" Kim asked him sardonically, leaning back and bring her feet to rest on the seat, folding her legs close in front of her.
Ron shrugged, pretending not to care. "Well, I told you to dress warmer."
"Stop, you sound like my parents!" Kim laughed and whacked Ron with her folded legs.
Ron wailed, "Stop, those are lethal!"
"Well you totally deserve it for being such a jerk yesterday!"
"What?" he yelped, "Me? A jerk? Since when? What did I do?"
"O gee, maybe on the sofa."
Ron stiffened, was she referring to when they were falling asleep..? She… she didn't like it..? But… "Ah-"
"You sat on my feet!" she declared. "I was just trying to stop you form sending me to humiliation nation!" Kim deepened her voice and mocked Ron, "'She had mucus dripping from her nose all day! It was like a faucet and, man, the barfing went on for hours'…"
"O, THAT," Ron laughed at Kim's impression and had to hold his stomach, he was laughing so hard, his diaphragm was beginning to ache. "That was pretty slick thinking on my part."
"Yea, if you're head is the equivalent of a Windows 94!"
"Hey!" But they both broke out into more laughter and Ron had to wait quite some time before he trusted himself not to laugh while he ate some more of Kim's nachos. Kim is a bit of a computer geek if she won't admit it. After all, she did build her website from scratch when she was twelve.
Kim sighed away some laughter, "Ron, you're too insane, but you're fun like that."
Ron turned to smile back at her, he felt himself swell up with pride to see her face so carefree and enlightened… because of him. His previous anger had been banished. She could do that so easily. There was something between them right then. He could feel it. With Kim's face flushed, she reached for some of the nachos. Was it just him, or was she closer to him than before? Maybe… maybe even leaning towards him just ever so slightly?
Times like this were wonderful for Ron. Not that they ever lasted long.
"So," said a voice.
Kim turned around without much concern. But her heart leapt out of her chest and her body froze solid as soon as her eyes rested upon and acknowledged the speaker. Who could cause her to react in such a way? Other than Josh Mankey.
"Bonnie was telling the truth. She rang me up, telling me you were at the mall…" his eyes flickered onto Ron, then back into a cold staring glare at Kim, his eyes penetrating into hers, "… on Friday. She said you were sick yesterday too… Wow, Kim. In these past couple of days, you've sure gone through a couple of relapses."
"N-no, Josh!" Kim spluttered. Josh had dashed away Kim's blithe manner. She attempted to sit up in a rush, bashing her hip on the corner of the table making her fall back onto the cushioned seat, swallowing hard.
"Bonnie kept trying to tell me about you two, but I always thought… believed you two were just friends. I guess she… and Freud, were correct." Josh's eyes squinted and he turned his head away, no-longer able to look at Kim any longer. "I feel so foolish for thinking otherwise."
His voice… it made Kim tremble as if she were being yelled at… no, it was worse than being yelled at, the disparity, the agonizing disappointment… the broken emotions all within his voice. Directed at her. She felt tears began to well up in her eyes; she tried to sit up and explain again.
"Josh, please let me explain, you don't understand-"
"Oh, oh I think I do," he interrupted, his eyes on her hand on top of Ron's.
Kim was now standing as much as she could in her seat, facing Josh, the tears about to brim over. "Listen to me, I-"
"Save it, Kim. I just- … It's over."
Turning around, he left through the Bueno Nacho front doors. Josh never looked back. He didn't storm out, it was a calm, frightening walk, the front doors swung back and forth on their hinges after he was gone.
Ron turned to Kim, he didn't know what to say, whether he should say anything. Kim was standing on one leg, the other resting on the plastic seat, looking on in a distant gaze where Josh had exited. Maybe she was hoping he'd come back. Ron was feeling increasingly uncomfortable and wished he could disappear like Rufus had just done into his pocket. A feeling of swelling heat overcame Ron as he watched Kim, watched the first tear run down her cheek… Her mouth moved, but no sound came out.
Ron was terrible at making decisions, especially smart decisions, he knew that. Right now, he was torn about what choice he should make. Should he try to console Kim? Change the subject? Make a joke to lighten the sitch? Or just simply say nothing at all? Or maybe there was another decision he was unaware of, that was a large possibility too.
For the time being, Ron decided on standing up. Then he decided to say something tentatively, of course. "K-Kim..?"
He watched as her chest collapsed and she sagged, giving a small gasp of despair. More tears now, more consistent, eyes glazed…
He didn't want to reach out to her with his free hand, he was scared of her reaction. Rarely did Kim Possible cry.
Without a warning, or else Ron must have missed it, Kim tore from the table and fled out the front doors, Ron had just enough time to pick up the grocery bag, not that it mattered, doing his best to keep up. She wasn't chasing after Josh—it was obvious she was heading home.
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She only stopped to fiddle with her keys in her pocket to unlock the front door, cumbersome, she was, her shaking free hand kept wanting to drop the keys and give up, but she persisted them so.
Once inside, Ron only caught a glimpse of Mr and Mrs Possible turning their heads in start as the torrent that was he and Kim speed past the living room and pounding in a flurry up the stairs. Now that Kim was in the safety of her own home, did she begin to cry, sobs finally being able to erupt from her mouth. But it was only once she was in the privacy of her bedroom, did she let it all and everything out.
Onto her bed, she flung herself. Kim aimed for her pillow but only got about halfway onto the bed for Ron hadn't predetermined her actions and the pull sent him tripping over the toy box at the base of her bed and painfully land on top of it and part of her bed. To Ron, it was apparent he was the least of her concerns. She yanked as hard as she could on her arm, his arm too so she could reach her pillow and bury her face into it for a full-out continuous cry.
When Ron pulled himself up, he sat beside Kim, his back on the headboard, looking down at her, he was able to watch her back and shoulders shudder and heave every time she sobbed.
Should he reach out and pat her? Say something encouraging to her? How could he when he was half pleased that it was over with her and Josh. But he was also immensely upset for her and felt the feeling of grief form inside him and then…
It hit him like a wave. It was so sudden, so unexpected, it felt as though some heavy professional football player had impacted him, right in the heart. Ron even lurched forwards and clutched his chest, the pain, it was so… no.
No, it wasn't pain, and yet it was. It was… an intense feeling, a pained emotion Ron felt; and it ached ever so strongly in his chest. He frowned, not at the sudden discomfort, but as a result of the emotion effecting him, as if it was his own. It was, wasn't it?
The feeling was such a depressing feeling that Ron couldn't bare it much longer. He looked down at Kim sobbing into her pillow and felt compassion and empathy towards her so unlike how he had just felt.
Sure, he felt sad for her, she really liked Josh Mankey, even if he was but one letter away from 'monkey'. He admitted it to himself, he was somewhat glad Josh had seen them, them holding hands and how he came to the conclusion that he and Kim were maybe a couple. He wanted Josh Mankey to have no interest in Kim, because then maybe Kim would come to him, and he'd be there for her. Then, just like a predictable love movie, she'd realise he'd been there all along and she'd tell him she loved him.
But Kim was his friend and he wanted her happy more than anything else, and right now, she was absolutely distraught beyond all measures, there was nothing Ron could do. He felt crestfallen for her, he wanted to stroke her soft red hair and tell her, most cliché, that everything would be ok.
He couldn't do that. Not now anyway. Now… now he wanted to heave himself onto the pillow with Kim and cry his own heart out. But why? At what?
I'm upset that she thinks Mankey may not dig her anymore, but not that sad. After all, it could just be the leverage I need! This unforeseen ardent feeling completely baffled Ron, surely he wasn't this upset for her?
Look at her though! An unexpected voice spoke in his mind, she really likes Josh Mankey, a lot. Maybe as much as you like her… if Josh is who she wants, then who are we to interfere? Just look at her, Ron… look…
He did. Her right hand had gone white with clutching the pillow so fiercely in her despair, her crying was continuous and didn't break; Ron couldn't see her face, for it was buried within her pillow, but he was sure if he could see her lovely face, it would be streaked with tears. Everything about her soaked a woebegone emotion, everything about her depicted how strongly she emptied herself into this cry-fest, which in-turn, showed just how much she truly cared for Josh Mankey.
She'll get over it though, Ron insisted, intent on arguing (and winning) against this new sorrowful emotion that had sprung out of no-where and remained so persistently. She's just got a crush on the dude, within the next week, she'll be all over him.
How can you say that? The other voice said. Are we both looking at the same Kim? It's so obvious she lo-
Don't say that! was Ron's initial thought. Tough luck, so the dude, dumped her, big whoop. This is the moment we've been looking for, to finally make my move and tell her how I feel… well, not well she's on the rebound of course… but after she's over him. Which will be when? Five days?
How can you be so insensitive?!
Yea, well what about my feelings? Don't they get any credit?
They're not as important as Kim's.
Well... uh… I agree and disagree with that. But that's beside the point! (What is the point now?)
That she liked him…
Not as much as I like her!
Josh… he's gone forever…
Booyah
It's over…
Damn straight!
… So sorry!
Sorry for not having myself a party!
I think I loved him…
…
Ron literally sat up on Kim's bed, his back as straight as a pole right beside her. He could have sworn he had been suddenly struck by a lightening bolt. I WHAT?!? He was sure he had just heard the term 'I' used in those last thoughts. Him love Josh? Dude, those were so not my thoughts… No… they… weren't… were they..? Ron sat and cleared his mind of all of his surface thoughts and then… he could hear…
It's over between me and Josh, I can never speak to him again! Every time he looks at me… he'll think I never really liked him, that I only played with his feelings. But it's… not… like that! I really like him… we were never really together but I miss him so much already, it's not fair! Not fair at all! This is Ron's fault, all his fault! It was because of his stupid errands… he… O! Josh, I'm so sorry!
Ron slowly turned his head and looked down at Kim. "Great googly-moogly…" He whispered to himself. I can actually read Kim's thoughts…
He felt a chill at the revelation. He could read Kim's thoughts! Go into her mind and find out what she was really thinking! In a devious (and perhaps selfish) test, Ron decided to figure out where her thoughts on him were. Closing his eyes as if this would help, he concentrated as much as he could, then cleared away his own thoughts and… nothing came.
What, you don't think anything about me? How insulting!
He had tried asking questions, tried to 'search' and remain completely silent in his mind (that last one was difficult!). In another attempt, this time trying to figure out what she thought of Josh (although he already knew, it was just a test). After all, all her thoughts where centered on him right now, so something about Josh should come to Ron. But again, nothing came to him. Grappling for something, Ron tried a stream of people, Drakken, Shego, Mr Barkin, her parents, the Tweebs… but no thoughts on any subjects he prodded for gave any results.
Just as he was beginning to decide he was delusional, Ron heard them again.
I can never show my face at school! Ever, I'm never going back!! O, Josh!
A new idea came to Ron. It wasn't that he could read her mind and probe for information. No, that wasn't it—it was that he could only overhear some of her thoughts. He had no control over what she was thinking. Couldn't prompt a subject he wanted her thoughts on. Could he control when he could overhear them though?
After many attempts, and furrowing his brow as he struggled to bring Kim's thoughts forwards, Ron decided that he could only overhear her thoughts randomly, it was nothing he had any control over, no matter how hard he tried. This was a little disheartening, but hey, beggars can't be choosers!
Then something she thought came back to Ron. Didn't she think: 'I think I loved him…'
… No, no, NO!!! His mind raced and he gritted his teeth with infuriation enflaming his entire self. Breathing heavily, he tried to deny it, but she had thought it, with her own mind.
Love? Josh Mankey?! He wanted to cry now too, that couldn't be… How could she love someone she hardly even knew? She didn't know anything deep about the guy, what she perceived from him was his surface, his public face at school. He could be entirely different, he could have killed someone (ya, that one was far-fetched, but that wasn't the point)! How can Kim be so stupid as to love someone she didn't even get to know?
Calm down, Ron, he told himself. She said 'I think', not 'I do' or 'I did', there's still hope for you yet. Besides, it's not like she can be with him anymore, he totally turned her down, said it was 'over'. You gotta point this out to her when she's feeling better. Tell her to get over him and move on. Tell her he was never for her in the first place.
Even with that on his agenda, he still couldn't believe he could overhear Kim's personal thoughts. This could come in handy!
But that surfaced another question: How was this possible? Was it… was it a side-effect of their hand-holding? It had to be, what else could cause a sudden flow of her thoughts into his mind? But how can thoughts be transferred through your hand? Dude, maybe I sleep too much in science class…
He picked up his hand on the back of hers and marvelled at them. There was no 'glow' coming from their hands, no anything. It only looked like they were holding each others hands. Well, his was on the back of hers, but still.
Ron brought their hands even closer to his face. He turned them around, looking at them from different angles, how lovely her hand looked, so dainty and slender underneath his large, clumsy hand. With an absent mind, he put her palm in his left and began to stroke the back of her hand with his now free right.
Ron was so deep in his own thoughts, thinking about their hands, about being able to overhear her thoughts, about her and Josh, him and her… He became so enwrapped like an invisible blanket that he hadn't noticed Kim had ceased crying (which really was something because her crying was ever so audible!).
If he had been looking at her, been aware of his surroundings, he would have seen Kim sniff back some tears and turn her face onto the side, facing Ron. At first, she wasn't really looking at him, not looking at anything. Just noticing and feeling the strokes on the back of her hand. Only when her hand twitched did Ron come back to reality and look down again at her.
Feeling is if he was disturbing her, he muttered and apology and stopped stroking her. He flushed, did he blush? He hadn't known what he was doing.
Her hand twitched again and he felt her aggravation as she pulled her hand away, but not out of Ron's hand although she probably would have if she was able to and laid it on the pillow beside her, bringing it close.
A knock on the floor door. It could only be Kim's parents.
"Honey?" Mrs Possible's voice was muffled through the door. "Are you alright? You were in such a flurry-"
"I'm alright," Kim replied much too fast for her statement to be true. Ron was surprised she answered at all. It was the first time she spoke since Bueno Nacho.
"Are you sure, because-"
"I'm fine, ok!?" Rhetorical.
"Alright, I'm glad Ron's up with you."
Ron felt himself shudder, Kim didn't say anything more and he heard no thoughts from her although he deeply wished he could.
It felt as if Kim would cry herself to sleep and Ron would soon follow, and then they would wake up in the morning. But how could that happen when dinner time hadn't even passed yet? It had just been Lunch. They were going to be up for some time.
He was about to search around Kim's room for something he could do or at least something shiny he could occupy his mind with when another fresh wave hit him inside against his chest. He felt that surging feeling of disparity, longing and then an explanation for these surging emotions came to him.
Not only could he overhear snippets of Kim's thoughts, but he could feel her emotions at times as well! It was her emotions he was feeling!
This was much too overwhelming, and he wasn't talking about the emotion he was receiving from Kim either. He laid back, his back hitting the backboard again in astonishment and disbelief, shaking his head slowly from side to side.
A fresh wave hit him again right in the chest and his hand flew up to clutch at it, right over his heart. Kim must be feeling another round of depression.
There was too much to think about, too many new disturbing revelations for his mind to handle. He could feel Kim's emotions, could overhear her thoughts, she said she thought she was in love with Josh. That's the one that hurt Ron the most. Hurt him so much, he didn't know which emotion was his and which belonged to Kim anymore, they both felt the same…
The same.
So. He inadvertently admitted it to himself. Or maybe it was just a slip. Because they feel the same, does that means she loved Josh? Ron questioned himself. It couldn't be.
It was… what was it called? He read it during the first few chapters of that book Mr Barkin made them read last year, 'Lo, The Plow Shall Till The Soil of Redemption'. It was on the tip of his tongue, no… wait… was it… no…. there it was… yea! 'Infatuation' was the word he'd read and looked up on the computer dictionary (mainly to give him an excuse to start IMing Kim and avoid reading the next chapter). That's what Kim was feeling towards Josh, Ron was sure, not love like he'd thought before; an infatuation, like a crush, but a little more intense. Besides, how could she love someone she barely even knew?
With nothing better to do, he looked down at Kim again to check up on her condition. In all his thoughts, he had ceased listening to the outside world and missed Kim as she had stopped crying and fell into a slumber beside him.
Well that put a damper on things. This was probably the only time he ever wished he wasn't stuck to Kim anymore. Sure you could say it was because of Kim's feelings and it was plainly obvious she'd do anything to detach herself from Ron, but the real reason Ron wished this was because, well, he was bored. Shallow, but the truth.
But as Kim slept, Ron started to feel the immense feeling within him coming from Kim begin to ebb away. He released his hand which had been clutching his sweater over his heart with.
He laid his head back on the headboard behind him, closed his eyes and let out a sigh. Now that the feeling was beginning to leave him, it became clear just how painful it had been. If this was what he was receiving from Kim… then what must it feel like for her, when she has the real emotional attachment to the sitch?
With the feeling almost completely gone, Ron lifted his head back up and looked around the room for something to occupy his mind with. Maybe there was something shiny that could enrapture him. But there wasn't.
It was only then that he actually acknowledged Rufus who was sitting on the bed beside him. Ron scooped him up onto his lap and began to pet him. Looking out the window, it had begun to rain slightly. Truly the changes in the seasons were beginning.
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Sighing first, Kim felt as if her body weighed ten times what it was supposed to. She knew her mind was beginning to wake, but her body begged for more rest. Deciding to settle, Kim let her eyes open slowly to adjust to the light, she couldn't see much, something was in the way of her view. No, it was someone. That was right, she felt the hand in hers; Ron was still there.
Ron: who had ruined everything. It was all his fault, wasn't it? Kim wanted it to be his fault, so her dejected spirit could take the form of anger and direct that towards Ron.
Why? Because (this is not something she'd admit to herself normally, only now because of her rage), it was so easy to be angry at Ron, he never yelled back. He just took it, reacted in submission and she could watch his words beat him; when she was mad it gave her guilty satisfaction to see someone cower in front of her. Sometimes he'd say something, sometimes, but her anger could always overcome anything he had to say.
She didn't feel like talking, however, much less being angry at someone. She moved her tongue around in her mouth and it felt dry. That, and even though she just had a refreshing nap, she was still weak and in an ill mood from the crying. It was a good thing only Ron saw her cry.
Looking up at him, he was holding the Kimmunicator with Rufus on his shoulder. She didn't know if he was playing a game or browsing the web for there was no volume. He murmured something to Rufus, but his voice was so soft, even she couldn't hear it.
Kim wasn't sure if she wanted Ron to know she was awake or not yet. So she decided to just lay there… the trouble with that was… it would mean thinking and there was much she didn't want to think about.
But it couldn't be helped. It all came down to Josh. It's over. Josh said that it was over between them. He probably hated her, disliked her… thought she was some sort of player… and none of it was true! How could she tell him? Should she phone him? Does he have Caller ID?
If only we hadn't gone out to do those stupid errands! Kim sobbed, scrunching herself into a ball on her side. If I had just stayed home, none of this ever would have happened. Ron's errands. This is Ron's fault. He ruins everything for me!
Tears began to slide down Kim's cheek once again. Josh saw us… saw us holding hands… I have to tell him the truth! If only we hadn't gone to Bueno Nacho…His words… they hurt so much, 'Save it, Kim. I just- … It's over.' Over. What else had he said to me?
Even though it had only been a few hours, the events that happened at Bueno Nacho felt as if it had occurred months ago. She could barely remember what she saw or heard in the right order…
Josh had glared at her hard, so deep and penetrating that it felt like deadly arrows shooting into her heart. "Bonnie kept trying to tell me about you two, but I always thought… believed you two were just friends. I guess she… and Freud, were correct. I feel so foolish for thinking otherwise."
But they were just friends! Just friends. Weren't they? How could anyone mistake them for not being just friends? Like her and Monique? They'd hang at Bueno Nacho, so just because it was Ron hanging with her it… meant… No. No, it was more than that. It was the hand. His hand on hers… Another voice would interrupt herself and say: 'So what?'. It's just his hand. It could happen to anyone- with anyone! Where does Josh get off presuming things between her and Ron..? Like… like the man with the two women had outside that… 'place' in that strange town the night they had been stuck. He had assumed too.
Just because Ron was a boy? So what!? A part of her mind screeched. Or maybe her mind was playing tricks on her, because of those revelation thoughts she'd had, not last night, but the night before? About Ron being a boy. Just because she had recently thought about Ron as a real boy didn't mean everyone else did… or maybe she was the one behind! It was all so confounding…
That was it. Wait. Josh said why he had assumed things! "Bonnie kept trying to tell me about you two…" It was Bonnie. The whore! Kim spat viciously, her body actually twitched and she gripped her pillow in a flash of anger.
Then more came to her…
"Bonnie was telling the truth. She rang me up, telling me you were at the mall… on Friday. She said you were sick yesterday too… Wow, Kim. In these past couple of days, you've sure gone through a couple of relapses."
Everything fell into place. How could she have not seen this coming? How?! It made her hot with rage, what more, it made her feel stupid.
They had gone to the mall. Bonnie hadn't recognised them in the costumes, it was Gil. He saw them, he talked to them; he was at Bonnie's the day Marcella, Tara and Sarah came over and Kim told them she was sick. They had gone to Bonnie's… Marcella said Gil was already at her house. That was how Bonnie came to find everything out and then passed the information onto Josh. The two theories clashed, Kim being at the mall with Ron on the same day she blew Josh off… as well as blowing off cheer practice, pretending she was sick when Ron was at her house (in their pyjamas!)… Of course Josh had assumed things.
If she hadn't had gone to the mall or gone out to-day to do Ron's errands… then Josh and everybody else would believe her sick. Nothing was her fault! It was all Ron's. Ron and Bonnie and Gil! (She couldn't blame Tara or the other cheerleaders for blabbing she had been 'sick') It was a bloody conspiracy!
Kim now dug her curved fingers into the pillow case and dug into the plush inside it, breathing hard. Never had she been so enraged!
Something twitched inside of herself and it made her stop throwing a hissy-fit. It made her look up and she met Ron right in the eyes. He must have been looking down at her for quite some time now, watching her convulse and spit with no explanation.
The immediate reaction Kim wanted to do was glare in his eyes, show him her rage, but she couldn't. Not when his were so soft and worried… gentle and…
Stop it! She scrunched up her own eyes and pulled herself into a ball again… breaking into a new round of sobs…
She had never been more conflicted in her life.
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That is one crazy girl. Ron thought while looking down at Kim, watching her scrunch up again with anger. I bet Josh would totally freak if he saw her like this… She looks like she could kill if it were legal. Thank-goodness it isn't, otherwise I'd be as dead as a turkey in the microwave at a Thanksgiving dinner!
The truth was, it wasn't Kim's movements that had alerted him to her consciousness, but it was her thoughts and emotions. As Ron had been playing Bingo on the Kimmunicator, the sudden feeling of one pushing a javelin through the back of his heart shocked him and her thoughts suddenly streamed into his mind like an overflow at Niagara Falls.
"Should I phone him? Does he have Caller ID?—Just friends—Where does Josh get off presuming things between me and Ron..?—Like… like the man with…—Going to the mall—Nothing's my fault!—It was all Ron's.—Stop-"
Ron didn't think 'too much information' ever existed until now. Maybe it wasn't such a good thing that he could hear her thoughts. Most of what she thought, he couldn't hear. Either because two thoughts clashed with each other and he couldn't focus on either, or the thoughts were all a rush, he could only catch snippets. No-one could think that fast, so he assumed they were previous thoughts somehow breaking down a barrier where they had been building up behind and finally broke into his mind.
The feeling was gut-wrenching inside him and he couldn't help but let out an audible gasp. He twisted himself uncomfortably so he lay beside Kim on his stomach, facing her with Rufus curled up beside him.
He buried his head into one of her pillows and struggled to remain inaudible. But slowly the feeling began to disappear inside him. It felt like a weight being taken off of him… something that weighed more than an elephant.
Taking his head out of the pillow, he noticed Kim was looking at him again. He was thankful she had calmed down, but wasn't sure how long that was going to last.
Her bottom lip moved, but she wasn't saying anything, probably just clearing away the tears that had collected there…
Maybe now was a good time to say something before an onset of emotions and thoughts hit. But what to say? This seemed like a better time than any other to actually think before speaking. Too bad Ron's mind suddenly stopped working.
"Hey."
Kim blinked and sniffled. "What?" she asked.
"Feeling any better?"
"What do you care?"
"I care."
"No you don't."
Could she read his mind? Well, if she could, she'd read he didn't care about Josh, but cared about her.
"I do." Ron insisted, "You just want to be angsty with me because you're upset 'n angry. I know you better than that, KP."
She didn't respond, but he felt those green eyes shimmering like emeralds and boring into his own unsettling. Kim was thinking something, probably about him, but what? Ron decided it was best to let her have the next say, whenever that may be.
"I really liked Josh, Ron."
"I know. I mean," he gave a single nervous laugh, "You talked about him everyday. That was one big crush."
"Does someone cry this much if they've lost a crush?" Did Kim say that out loud or in Ron's mind? However it was said, he hoped it was rhetorical. "I don't know if I can go to school again, Ron, I really don't…"
"Look, Kimbo, I know you feel for the dude. But he's just one guy. Did you ever really get to know him all that well?" Kim tried to say something, but Ron cut her off, "If he's not willing to listen to what you have to say about this, then who knows what other scenarios he won't listen to you about. Maybe he wasn't the right guy for you? I mean, we all saw the look on your face at BN…" Ron's impatient consolation began to slip into a soft remembrance, "You were so… so, like, upset… and you actually had tears in your eyes. That has to account for something. Josh was there, he was looking right at you and if he couldn't see the pain on your lo-… face then maybe the dude has issues."
When Ron stopped talking, he realised his eyes were unfocused. Focusing them back at Kim, he found her gazing at him intently. At least she was listening.
"But I still miss him… he was nice…"
"Of course you'll miss him, that's gotta hurt. I'd be the total same over a crush… Like example: I was so way past upset that Zita wasn't totally into me. But I was over it cos I knew things weren't gonna work out between us and I knew there's better out there for me. And as far as 'nice' goes, everyone's nice in someway or another. Even Drakken. Even Shego."
Instead of receiving a smile of laugh, Kim began to look irritated, "He wasn't just nice, Ron, he-"
"Look, let's play a game, ok?" Kim looked at him sceptically. "Hand me a piece of paper and something to write with."
"Why?" Kim asked, but rolled over on her bed and reached into the drawer on her beside table withdrawing a small notebook and a pen. Handing it to Ron, he opened to a fresh page and began to scribble away with his free right hand. From time to time, he'd pause and then add more.
"Done much?" Kim asked, "This isn't really two person game, is it?"
Ron didn't look up from the notebook, "Be patient…"
After awhile, Ron finished what he was doing and closed the notebook. He placed it in front of him. "Now, with as many describing words as you can-"
"Adjectives."
"Whatever. With as many 'adjectives' as you can, describe Josh Mankey. But none of them can mean the same things. Now go."
Kim rolled her eyes, "This isn't a game…"
"Just do it."
"Alright. Ok, Josh is… artistic… he's quiet, he's charming. Josh is friendly, has a sense of humour and… and smart."
"That it?"
"For now," Kim muttered as if taking offence.
"And that's everything you've accumulated of him since all the time you've been together? Including that date?"
"Yes."
"Ok, KP, everything you just said about him… can be said be just observing the dude from afar."
Kim's brow knotted, "So not!"
"So so," Ron opened the notebook and placed it in front of Kim. "Read it."
Kim picked up the notebook and read a list of words: friendly, sweet, artsy, quiet, charm/suave, smart, funny… There were a few more. Kim placed the notebook down at looked at Ron.
"How did you know I was going to say those things..?" Kim asked.
"Everything I wrote is just what I've seen of the dude from around the school. In fact, those are pretty generic words and could probably be used to describe just about anyone… (except Bonnie). Why don't you think on that? How can you love a dude that you know nothing about? If it's just those traits, then you're probably in love with half the planet."
"I never said I was in love with Josh…"
Ron froze. She thought in her mind that she was maybe in love with Josh! O-boy…
"I, uh, can just tell by the, er, way you talk about him and stuff… That you… maybe think you love the dude. Is all." Ron shrugged and tried to look diffident.
"I guess you're right…" Kim muttered lightly. "I never really got to know more about him…"
That wasn't the point of the exercise!
He watched Kim sigh and turn around again, looking at the digital clock. "Supper soon…" Kim murmured, "I don't feel like going down, but I bet you're hungry, right?"
She was actually asking him? "Uh…"
"Mom will probably come up and tell me to come down. I'll tell her we want to eat up here."
"Good idea," Ron nodded his agreement. Rufus beside him tugged on Ron's sleeve, piteously begging for food. Ron patted him away.
In fact, it didn't take long before Mr Possible's voice sounded out from underneath the floor door. "Kimmie-cub," (Ron saw Kim wince), "Time for dinner, are you and Ronald coming down?"
"I'm not feeling well, Dad," came called back, now propping herself on the headboard. "Ron and I are going to have dinner up here to-night." A knock on the door made Kim call out, "Come in."
The door lifted open and Mr Possible walked in. "What's troubling you?"
"Nothing, I'm just not feeling well," Kim insisted.
Ron looked back at Kim's Dad who appeared slightly bemused, "Alright, I'll tell your Mother to bring your plates upstairs."
Kim smiled back weakly, "Thanks, Dad, love you."
"Love you too, Kimmie," turning his back, Mr Possible closed the door behind him as he left.
But before he did, he communicated something to Ron, a look he gave him. Ron frowned but was sure Mr Dr Possible was telling him to take care of Kim. He didn't need Mr Possible to tell him that, but he appreciated the trust her Father put in him. Especially when it was well known to him and Kim about how strict her Father was when it came to boys… which Ron was one of.
Once her Father was gone, Kim lifted her head and announced to the walls, "I'm going to phone him to-morrow."
Ron blinked and brushed his bangs aside for no particular reason. "Oh?"
Kim turned to Ron, "Yes. Josh is… sensible," she looked at Ron when she said the word. He knew she was trying to tell him 'sensible' wasn't a word you could pin to a person just by observing them from afar. "He'll know that I care for him, that it's all one big misunderstanding. The night will give him time to calm down and rethink himself." She nodded to herself, her determination was absolute.
Ron sighed. Perhaps her determination was telling Ron something. She wasn't giving up. Yet, he promised himself. She's hasn't given up yet
Not knowing what to say, he sat beside her in silence. She said nothing, so he supposed they'd just sit and wait for Mrs Possible to bring up their supper. Maybe if he stayed quiet and calm, he might be able to receive some thoughts from Kim.
He looked down at their joined hands. It was so strange, so inexplicable what happened to them… and these new side effects. There wasn't any way he was going to tell Kim about it. But he felt like maybe he should tell Wade.
Because even though Ron enjoyed being temporary stuck, the key word there was temporary. He certainly didn't want it to last forever and Wade did promise him he'd give him the long weekend. There was the possibility Wade actually didn't have any updates yet too. So he could tell Wade about the side-effects, it might help uncover what happened.
How to tell Wade without Kim overhearing? There was that little 'being stuck together' thing going on. There was absolutely no way Ron was going to tell Kim that he could overhear her thoughts. Forbid the thought! He could picture her reaction all too well…
But… to-day was a total setback for Ron's plan. He would have thought at first that Josh seeing him and Kim stuck together would be a definite positive (he was sure he helped guide Josh's thoughts Thursday after school…) but now he wasn't so sure. Kim at first was deterred, but now she was adamant… but that'd have to fall through eventually. Ron would have to wait… and hope.
Or.
Or he could continue with his plan. To-day and to-morrow. And forever and for how long the two would be stuck. Yes, she was on the rebound and only a sleaze would try to catch a girl on the rebound, but what other choice did Ron have? And it wasn't like he would be 'picking her up' or anything, nothing direct. He would just continue in small ways while comforting her loss… maybe in doing so, she'd notice someone else…
The expected knock on the trap door. It opened and Mrs Possible walked up and into the room carrying two plates.
"Hi, sweetie," her tone was musical. "Your Dad said you weren't feeling well, is it a fever, honey?" Mrs Possible placed the plates on the bed and sat down. Ron made to move to pull his plate towards him. Was it just Ron or did his plate have less food on the plate? He evaluated Kim's Mother through scrutinizing eyes. Did she—
"No, Mom," Kim groaned and pulled over her plate too. "It's not a fever, I'm fine ok? I- I have Ron with me, so no worries, ok?"
Mrs Possible looked at Ron who was being careful to eat his food slowly then back at Kim. "Alright, but if you want to talk, I'm all ears."
"I know," Kim smiled at her Mom reassuringly.
With that, Mrs Possible took her cue and left the room. "Don't stay up too late," was her trailing remark.
Kim didn't say anything for the longest time. They ate in silence. Kim was poking at her mashed potatoes for far too longer than Ron thought was normal. He was about to intervene when Kim again broke out in tears. He couldn't say he didn't know it was coming; the terrible depression inside him that was coming from Kim had been steadily increasing. Ron grew impatient with himself, he should have acted sooner.
Knowing Kim was finished with her plate he picked it up with his one hand and placed it on the bedside table along with his empty one, giving Kim room to lie down in her misery.
Ron looked around himself then reached back over Kim to turn off the light switch on the bedside table that turned off the overhead lamp, which by now, must be painfully bright to Kim's sore eyes from the constant crying. As a final touch, Ron brought down from the top of the headboard Kim's plush Pandaroo and gave him to her for additional comfort.
Kim opened her eyes and stared at her plush toy that she'd had since she was young. Her eyes flickered, they looked at Ron. He tried to smile at her. It was hard though, the emotion inside him was beginning to twist. It was like it was trying to change into something else but something was holding it back.
He wasn't expecting any further words to be exchanged, but Kim said, "Thanks…"
"No big, KP. Since I'm stuck to you, I might as well be of some use, h'm?"
The corners of her mouth twitched upwards. But they both knew the sadness inside her wouldn't permit her to laugh for some time.
Ron decided to lie down next to Kim. He had to admit, the emotions from Kim was making him tired, he couldn't wait until he would be relieved of them in sleep, he was sure Kim felt the same about her own emotions.
Before Ron closed his eyes, he watched Kim move closer to him. She squeezed his hand in hers. The last thought in Ron's mind before he fell asleep was this:
Progress.