Rant: Thanks for the replies! I was beginning to be all grumpy and stuff about it. Also, I don't know any words in portugese, so they speak spanish in this Brazil. Eko is Heihachi's dead wife.I invented her andI can destroy her! Bwohahahahahahahaahaha! Also, I have NO IDEA who created Gun Jack and it's hardly important. For some reason I can't add small things to divide the different parts, that's why I added the lame-ass lawyer stuff between the good stuff .Anyway, enjoy this first part of the friday night...

FRIDAY NIGHT

Jin opens the door. He is swaying slightly, but still not in drunk stupor. He stares at a metallic chest. He looks up and sees Gun Jack looking down on him.

"Hey G.J.!"

Gun Jack doesn't reply, he just gives Jin a letter. Jin takes it and tries his best to read it.

"Dear Mr. Kazama,

I considered your offer earlier and I think it's worth a try. I have installed a small camera in this unit's head, hoping I could see the unit's reaction to whatever it is you are going to do at this 'party' of yours. Unfortunately, we won't be able to the unit it self's reactions, but we will see yours, and that will almost certainly prove to be entertaining enough. I am well aware there will be alcoholic beverages, and I have made some adjustments to this unit. He will be able to drink, but he will need some hints as to how and why. Also, he won't get drunk, and you should be happy about that. Of course, I know you will try to get him drunk anyway. I have also installed a little chip with basic knowledge of sarcasm and humour. Only basic, I'm afraid, the last attempts to give them greater knowledge was a painful disaster. Also, one final warning before you begin the tests... please, do not under any circumstances try to inflict any violence on the 'sensitive area'. It might (and probably will) lead to horrifying results.

Regards,

Dr. Abel. (Dr. Abel)"

Jin looks up at Gun Jack again. Gun Jack blinks.

"So... Jack. Can I call you Jack?"

"Affirmative."

"Ah... well, why won't you go into the living room and have a chat with Ogre? He has something really important he has to talk to you about."

G. Jack blinks.

"Affirmative!"

He goes past Jin and into the living room, where he is greeted by a chorus of cheering voices.

"It's Gun Jack!"

"Our savior!"

Jin folds the letter and puts it in his pocket. He goes back into the living room and watches everyone talk. Most people are drinking. Yoshimitsu and Bryan stands by the wall, Bryan is very, very wasted.

"C'mon Yoooshhi. 'ave a BEER!" Bryan tries to persuade him. Yoshimitsu hesitates.

"I shouldn't drink."

"Why not?"

Yoshimitsu bows his head in shame.

"I'm a mean drunk."

"'o ishn't?"

"Well... everyone but you and me?"

Bryan doesn't say anything for a while.

"D'you call me a mean dwunk!"

"Yeah."

"Really!"

"Yeah."

"I'll give you foj mean dwunk!"

Bryan raises his fist and tries to aim at Yoshimitsu. Yoshimitsu gives him a weird look. Bryan finally falls forward, his fist still clenched and aiming. Yoshimitsu steps out of the way and looks at him squirming in pain on the floor. He grins slightly and pokes him with his foot.

"Shtop it!" Bryan whines. Law comes up to Jin.

"Yoshimitsu is really boring. He doesn't want to get drunk!"

"What should I do about it?"

Law thinks for a while.

"Do you have a medicine cabinet?"

(various things implying a change of location)

G. Jack blinks.

"I don't understand."

Ogre shakes his head slowly.

"What is it you don't understand, you big piece of moronic metal!"

"What is it I am meant to perform?"

"Bite his wiener off! How hard can it be! Bite! Bite, bite, bite, bite, bite, bite, spit and stomp, stomp, stomp! Bwahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaaaaaaa!" Ogre bellows, incredibly frustrated now. He run out into the kitchen and soon comes back with a sausage.

"Here, look, I'll demonstrate for you!"

He noisily chews and tears a large piece off it and then spits it out again.

"See that! Did you! DID YOU! WELL!"

G. Jack stares blankly.

"Invalid command." He finally admits. Ogre stands there, quiet for a while, before he finally bursts out in tears.

"I-must-torture-someone!" he sobs.

"Oh! Oh! Torture me, Ogre! I like your pain!" Anna yells at the other end of the room. Ogre cries out in terror and flees the room, Anna soon chasing after him. Lei shakes his head and pats Dr. B.'s shoulder.

"Doctor? I think we need your help for re-programming G. Jack."

"Oh, really? What's he supposed to do?" Dr. B. wheezes.

"Bite Paul's penis off."

Dr. B.'s eyes glitters in a very touched way.

"I've always wanted to make a robot do that!"

"Can you?"

"Of course! Come here, little Jackie..."

G. Jack blinks.

(various things implying a change of location)

Heihachi is lying down in great, agonizing pain. But Heihachi (as brave as he is) sings a merry little song when he tries to forget the pain.

"I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my..." he makes a sudden move and Heichachi cries out in pain. He had now learned that he should NOT move with a dislocated right arm with a case of beer on it.

"GHAAAARGH! It hurtssss." He looks around. "Oooh, Eko I never really understood feelings and sensations until now. Shit, it hurts like the time you left me, my beloved one. You always said 'Don't you have feelings?' and I would reply 'Shut up and bend over, bitch.' but I was young and wanted to experience things. But now I understand feelings and emotions, my arm hurts like it's been run over by a really big and mean case of beer and I feel really pissed about it. Now I really understand!" He looks around, and stares at the case of beer.

"I'm so weak."

He thinks a little. He's already tried drinking the beer, but he couldn't get them out of the case. He frowns.

"That music is annoying. Haven't they ever heard of Beatles?"

(various things implying a change of location)

Jin and Law opens the Jolt Cola and gently pours it into a glass filled with roughly a third medical alcohol. They pour a lot in it and stirs. Law smells it and frowns.

"He's not going to drink this!"

"Yes, he will! He's a nerd, nerds drink Jolt, it's a fact of life."

"Yeah, but... is caffeine and alcohol a good mix?"

"If it isn't, then nothing is."

"Alright... here goes nothing."

They take the glass and goes out into the living room. Yoshimitsu is still leaning towards the wall, looking at people. Drunken people.

"Yoshimitsu? Would you like a coke?" Jin offers him the glass. Yoshimitsu gives it a suspicious look.

"What's in it?"

"Coke! It's Jolt!" Law smiles.

"Jolt, eh? Well, I need something to stay awake here." He mutters and takes a swig. He then coughs and stares at it.

"What's really in this, guys? It tastes weird."

Law and Jin smile nervously.

"Uh... nothing, nothing, really. It's just old! A little old, just a few days, I'm sure it's just the acids in it burning on your tongue. Nothing to worry about. Really."

He gives them another suspicious glance, but decides to drink anyway. Law and Jin returns to the kitchen and makes a little victory dance.

"We'll get him drunk in no time!" Law says in a weird sing-song voice.

"Yay! And Law...?"

"Yes?"

"Step away from me, you little fruit."

(various things implying a change of location)

Xiaoyu opens the door and stares at Paul. Paul has his mouth jammed full of pizza and chews it with some effort. He grins at her.

"Eumph Kshaao!"

Xiaoyu stares openly. Her left eyelid twitches a little.

"...Paul...? What are you doing here?"

He swallows most of the pizza.

"How's the party, sweetie?"

Xiaoyu finally decides to ignore him. She turns around and goes back into the living room with the shocked expression still on her face.

"Paul is here now." She whispers.

"What?" Hwoarang asks beside her.

"Paul is here!" she says louder.

"Paul!" he gasps.

The activity in the room seems to stop. Everyone stares at the doorway in terror. Some frightened whispersare heard. Then Ogre suddenly starts to giggle insanely.

"Yes... yes! This is your chance, Jack! Surprise him!"

Hwoarang skids towards Nina.

"I get him first." He whispered.

"You already had him a lot of times."

"So?"

Paul seems to appear out of thin air.

"Hi everyone!"

He gets no response, except for a strange whimper coming from Eddy. He points at him with a shaking index finger, slowly backing away.

"Diablo... diablo..."

"BITE IT!" Ogre suddenly blurts out.

Paul looks at him, surprised and confused and slowly takes a bite of his pizza. Ogre realizes he must cover his mistake up.

"Uh... that's right! You eat that like the little girl you are!"

Paul suddenly smiles at him.

"Hinting something, Ogre?"

"No!" he screams and flees. Hwoarang frowns.

"Why does that turn me on?"

Law sees Paul and leaps towards him.

"Paul!"

People in the room hopes that Law will keep him busy. Yoshimitsu clears his throat.

"I'm starting to feel a little weird and woozy... I love Jolt!"

The DJ increases the volume on the CD-player and takes a swig from his bottle of beer.