A/N : Thanx to the reviewers of the previous chapter; Onion Petal, Elizance, AnononA, lilmisscookiemonster, evilsmiley1, Anyanka0705, Amandamanda3, Mr Lennox I pressume, Spuffy-Spike-91. Sorry I ket you all waiting so long but as soon as I was ready to post a new chapter started having issues and I couldn't upload for days! Anyway, here is the new chapter now, hope you like reading it as much as I liked writing it...
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 6

"Buffy..." Spike carefully approached her, feeling so awful when her hands came away from her face and she looked at him with distaste

"Leave me alone, William" she choked out, scrubbing tear tracks from her cheeks with the backs of her hands as she turned away from him.

"No, we have to talk" he told her firmly, walking around her til he could see her face again "You can't just run away from this"

Spike was not expecting the small fist that shot out of the dark and collided with his jaw. His head snapped back as pain shot through his face, mostly from the shock of the hit rather than the force it was dealt with. When his brain had finally processed what had happened he looked back over at the woman who'd just hit him.

"Bloody hell, Buffy!" he exclaimed, rubbing his jaw with his hand, glad to find it still seemed to be in the right place and not broken. He wasn't sure if his shocked tone was because he hadn't expected her to lash out or the fact that she had a hell of a right hook for such a little woman.

"How dare you talk to me about running away?!" she raved, more tears flowing down her face, this time in anger "You left me, Will! On our wedding day!" she reminded him "You humiliated me, in front of my family and our friends!" her voice was cracking by the time she finished "You broke my heart!"

He knew how she felt, really he did. Walking away from her was the hardest thing he'd ever done, but at the time it had seemed like the right thing to do. Now standing here, watching her trying to fight the onslaught of tears, it was tearing him apart.

"I am so sorry, luv" he assured her, daring to move a step closer "you'll never know how much"

"It's too late now" she sobbed, backing up against the wall, trying to hide in the shadows "it's just too late"

"Oh pet, please don't cry" Spike hated to see it and wanted so badly to comfort her. Despite the fact he could still feel where her earlier punch had landed, he dared to reach out his fingers to her arm.

"Don't touch me!" she practically screamed, smacking his hand away from her "Just don't"

"Okay, okay" he backed up fast, holding up his hands in surrender "I'm not, but at least talk to me, please"

She sniffed loudly and shook her head.

"What could you possibly say that I want to hear?" she asked rhetorically "I hate you William Anderson, with everything I have I hate you" she said nastily, years of pain and anger finally finding an escape route.

"Please Buffy, don't say that, don't ever say that" she could tell by the look on his face that it hurt just as much as the punch had, probably more "I know I deserve it but I just can't bear to hear you say it" he begged her to have some kind of mercy. He knew he really deserved no such thing after what he'd done but to think she really despised him this much, it was like a knife through his heart.

"You think it was easy for me to bear hearing that you weren't coming back?" Buffy shot back, more upset than angry now it seemed "Reading that stupid letter on our wedding day? You meant everything to me and you just...did you even love me?" she asked quietly, eyes fixed on the pavement. She waited for an answer and when it didn't come immediately she looked back at him. He looked incredulously at her, as if to say 'how can you even ask that question?' Still, she needed to hear a real response.

"Yes, Buffy" he forced out as a lump rose in his throat "God, you actually think I didn't?" he laughed humourlessly at the very idea "I loved you more than I knew it was possible to love anyone" he ended seriously and it finally seemed they could manage an adult conversation. Buffy's tears had slowed, the fire had gone from her eyes, and when she spoke her tone was for the most part flat.

"Then why did you leave? Why did you hurt me like that Will, if you loved me so damn much how could you?"

Spike looked at the ground. He knew he'd hurt her that day but he hadn't considered how much, never thought that she'd question his love for her, the one thing he'd always been so sure about.

"Y'know it's been four years" Buffy thought aloud "all this time and sometimes I still sit and I wonder why? Was it something I did, or something I didn't do? Was it all just a sick joke? Was everything we did just a joke to you?" that last question she wanted an answer too. All these months and years of wondering if that was all their relationship had ever been, and now she was about to find out for real. For the split second between her question and his answer she was petrified.

"No, baby" he answered fast, desperate to explain this to her whilst he'd got the chance, to make her understand "You remember two weeks before the wedding? We were at your house, Joyce was away for the weekend and I came over so we could finalise arrangements" Buffy nodded that she did indeed remember "I was all prepared to tell you, to explain how I wasn't ready yet, that I loved you more than anything but that maybe we could wait a little while before we tied the knot"

"You didn't tell me any of that" Buffy closed her eyes as she said it because she knew why he hadn't told her.

"I never got beyond the 'I love you' part" he recounted, his voice much softer than it ever was these days "You looked so beautiful and you loved me so much" he shoved his hands in his pockets as he spoke, trying to resist the urge to reach out and touch her "I remember I was halfway through my speech when you told me I didn't need to say anymore, seemed you had a little speech of your own planned..."

"More than a speech" she said after a moment, eyes open now and locked onto his "I knew we were supposed to wait for our wedding night but you meant so much to me, and asking me to marry you, it'd proved to me that I was all you wanted...I knew I'd found the man I would spend my life with, so I gave you everything I had, all of me"

Finally she looked down, breaking eye contact, and Spike felt like the biggest piece of crap on the planet.

"I should've stopped it, I know that" he told her, knowing it didn't make things any better but just wanting her to know he'd learnt from it.

"I don't blame you for that" Buffy admitted with a small shake of her head "No matter what you did after that, you made that night so special for me" she remembered "When we made love for the first time, and then I slept in your arms, I thought it'd always be that way, and even when I knew it couldn't be, at least I'd had it once" she ended in a whisper, looking into his eyes again.

Despite the different hair and clothes, this was William standing before her. The boy she'd fallen in love with in High School, been to Prom with, agreed to marry, given her whole self to - mind, body, and soul. The fact that he'd left her didn't matter for that instant, as they stood there in that dark street, eyes solely for each other, some kind of magic making them feel like they were seventeen again and outside her house at the end of a date.

"Buffy..." her name came out in a whisper just a tiny distance from her face as Spike felt all the things she was feeling too. With the slightest of movements his lips met hers in a familiar kiss. His hand reached out of it's own accord, sliding behind her head and pulling her closer. This time she didn't push him away or scream at him, it felt too good to be kissed this way again. All the times Buffy had been close to Riley, it never felt quite the same as it had when she and William kissed.

Suddenly the blonde realised what she was doing. She wasn't seventeen and this wasn't a date, she was a betrothed woman with a future husband waiting upstairs, a man that'd never done her wrong...

Flashback

"Buffy!" Riley called as he ran across the campus to meet her.

"Hey Riley, how are you?" the blonde smiled as he came to walk with her, smiling widely. He was such a nice guy and he'd been a great friend this past year when she'd really needed some support. He knew all about William, the topic had been hard to avoid since from her first week of college Riley had been asking her out.

She'd knocked him back a couple of times but he was forever hopeful and eventually

she sat him down and told him all about her relationship with William and how she just wasn't ready for another guy right now.

"I'm okay" he told her, "but it's a little weird to know I won't be here much longer"

Riley was older than Buffy and a senior at college already. His graduation was in just two weeks and she was going to lose a friend on campus. When he'd heard the whole tale about William, Riley had asked if maybe he and Buffy could be friends instead of lovers and she'd agreed, though there was always a little more than friendship on his mind, and over time she'd come to like him a great deal too.

"I'm going to miss you being around campus" she admitted as they sat down on a bench in the summer sunshine.

"Well, we can meet up sometimes" Riley promised, "I'm still going to be in Sunnydale and the Bronze isn't going anywhere"

"Yeah" Buffy smiled, "it'd be cool for us to meet up, I've come to love your company, in fact I was thinking maybe, if you still...I wanted to..." she stumbled over what she meant to say and Riley dared to guess.

"Buffy, do wanna go on a date with me sometime?" he asked, holding his breath as he waited for an answer. The brightness of her smile nearly blinded him.

"Yes, Riley" she nodded, surprising him as she leaned forward and kissed his cheek, "I'd love to"

It was ten months since she'd been jilted by William, and Buffy had finally realised it was not the end of the world. It had hurt like hell, and she had started to think that pain would never go away. As time went on she realised the only way she was going to get over Will was to move on and get back to dating, and who better than Riley? It was clear that he really liked her, and he'd been there for her when she needed a friend. He was above-average in looks, if not so much in good sense, but he was totally date-able. Besides if it didn't work out, they'd deal. It wasn't like he was asking her to marry him...

End Flashback

"I can't" Buffy suddenly pulled away from Spike "I can't do this" she repeated, wiping her lips on the back of her hand as if it'd take back what they'd done.

"I'm sorry" he told her, neither of them sure precisely what he was apologising for. "So you said, more than once" Buffy said bitterly "It doesn't change anything" she turned to walk to the steps that led up to the front door of the apartment block, but Spike still had something to say.

"I didn't know how real it was til I saw you again but, Buffy" he called behind her "I still have feelings for you, I think I still lov-"

"Stop it, William, just stop!" she said sharply and loud enough to drown out the end of the sentence she couldn't bear to hear. She turned to look at him with a annoyed and tired expression "Up there" she told him, pointing up to her own apartments window, "there is a man that has feelings for me, real feelings of love that mean something, and in one week I'm going to marry him" she explained. Ignoring the fact Spike had opened his mouth to say something, she carried on regardless "I know he'll never let me down. I know he'll show up on our wedding day to put the ring on my finger and promise to be with me forever"

Buffy reached for the rail by the steps and turned to go up. She was halfway when she spoke again, keeping her back to her ex-fiancé.

"You coming back here makes no difference. Don't come here again. Don't call me. Don't even think about me. You obviously didn't bother before"

As she finally disappeared up the final steps and in through the door, Spike wanted to kick himself. He'd screwed up so badly and it seemed there was little or no way to put it right. In frustration he turned and kicked the wall of the building, only to yell when it felt as if he'd broken a couple of toes with the force.

Buffy's harsh words replayed over and over in his mind.

'Don't touch me!'

'I hate you William Anderson, with everything I have, I hate you'

'Did you even love me at all?'

How could she think he'd harm her or doubt how he felt for her back then? The pain in his heart hadn't been this bad since four years ago when he'd originally left. Those first few months felt like he was going to die and he hated himself for leaving, even when he was telling himself he'd done the right thing, because it would have been worse later on.

'Don't even think about me, you obviously didn't bother before'

She really didn't have a clue, he realised as he headed off down the street, making sure he memorised the route so he could come and see her again soon. Hadn't thought of her? It had taken over a year before he could even start to look at another woman Even then it had taken everything he had to convince himself it was time to let go...

Flashback

William stood by a payphone in a club on the outskirts of Vegas, one hand gripping the receiver as the fingers of the other hovered over the numbers, wondering whether or not they dared to dial. Every day William woke up with thoughts of Buffy filling his head and every night he went to sleep the same. It was eighteen months now since he'd left Sunnydale, and going back there to his favourite girl was at his precise moment very appealing, but how could he face her after what he put her through? In anger, he slammed the phone down again and reached into his pocket for a cigarette.

It was Anya's fault, the smoking. She did it when she was nervous, and she'd been very nervous the night of his first 'performance'. William had admitted to being equally worried and she'd shared a packet of fags with him. Now it was a nasty habit he just couldn't break.

He pushed his hand back through his newly bleached and highly gelled hair, making a face when he caught sight of himself in the mirrored tiles on the wall. This hair style just wasn't him. Another one of Anya's bright ideas, bright being the operative word, along with the fact that William was no name for a stripper. Spike was what he was known as now, for reasons that he'd never be able to tell his grandmother, that was for sure.

As he stood there looking at himself in the reflective surface, he saw two girls walk past behind him, eyeing his backside appreciatively, through his too tight jeans. It was ridiculous, a little voice in his head told him, a little voice that sounded distinctly like Anya. Here he was, a gorgeous young guy, in a club that was wall-to-wall easy women, and he was moping about some girl he'd left behind.

With a shake of his head, William walked away from the phone and headed to the room where he was to change into his costume. He was Spike now. He had a new name, a new look, a new life, as Buffy probably had to. Maybe it was time to stop moping, and look for a new woman too...

End Flashback

There had been several new women, Spike recalled, that month alone. They were almost always blonde and pretty, and nine times out of ten he spent the night with them. Thankfully he usually remained sober enough to be careful and if he didn't Anya reminded him on the way out of the door. The last thing she needed was for her big star to come down with something nasty, or getting the paying customers knocked up! Still, it'd been a crazy existence, and when he'd got bored of bothering with the screaming hordes he performed for every few nights, he charmed Anya instead.

Now he was back in Sunnydale and Spike was fading back into William. He didn't look like the guy he'd been in High School but he felt just as bad as when he'd seen Buffy in that wedding dress and told the cab driver to step on it towards the airport. He had to make up for what he'd done somehow, he had to see if there really was something between him and Buffy now. One thing was for sure, if there was still a chance they could be together again, he was damn well going to take it.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Hope you're all still liking this fic, please review and let me know. Your kind comments really do inspire me to write faster and more often, and it's great to find out which parts/scenes, etc. you really enjoyed.

For those who are also reading Innocence, I have updated that today too!